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DarknChildlike

          Hey, what's up everybody!  I hope everyone is safe and well taken care of, physically and emotionally, in these hard times,.  I am in the USA and things are kind of crazy!  Here in my small towns we are not witnessing any rioting or looting behaviors, although there are some very small civil protests,.

          Aside from that there hasn't been very much going on with me personally,.  I, just last night, had a really great Awesome and eye opening session that was pretty out of the norm for me,.

I basically was aiming for an astral projection and was in and out of consciousness for a while not really getting any AP symptoms/ phenomenon,.

After a while I found myself coming to the realization that I was dreaming and so I went with it quite a lot but still had the knowing conscious thought behind the blinds so to say that I am dreaming, and would come in and out of times where I would interrupt the flow of the dream scenarios in order to test a hypothesis.

I can't for certain remember what was happening before I became conscious but after a while I was watching everything unfold and I ended sitting through a scenario where myself and someone else watched a bit of a movie on a television about wish granting pixie or sprite or what it actually looked like was a cross between those and a leprechaun.  And this was along with several other cartoon cinematics that at the time resonated with me as cornerstone movies of my childhood but now I don't have that connection with what I remember seeing?  Isn't that so weird and even though I was conscious, sometimes I become totally convinced that something means something super important or I relate to on a almost a religious level at the time of the dream but this happened while I knew I was dreaming?  Anyway maybe past life thing who knows lol,.

Anyway tho being conscious I actually willed this pixie into existing physically with me and not on the screen but no on purpose I think,.  It was just there except it was more like an inanimate doll but I assigned it some sort of intelligence or I believed it powerful in some way it was floating and I think maybe it was just a symbol for something more complex,.  Well it being a symbol of this wish granting pixie or what have you, i began focusing my will on a number of different wishes to make material different ppl and things which I was very much able to accomplish,.

      This isn't big news for probably anyone else but it's something I haven't been super good at in my dream life to will things the way I want them,.  Atleast In astral projections that is definitely the case a lot of time but it does work often enough,.  I just don't ever think to try new things honestly guys!  It's all so fun and so new and so fast that I forget to slow down and try to meditate on different things, even though I'm conscious and in control I would say that my mind is still almost drunk with power and ambition and fun when I am out of body, and just run with it!  I've gone far away into distant strange lands but recently getting back into it I've been mostly practicing getting out succsesfully a lot again but always will fly away from home a good ways into nature sometimes other times I actually go into neighbors houses and stuff like that,.  I'll think of an actual place in my little city and try to approximate where to from my current position it is and try to fly directly to it,.  Sometimes this works!

Ok but anyway sorry for going on a tangent,. There is this,.

Something interesting that happened last night was  I had been facing away from the doll And though of the Incredible Hulk and when I turned around the doll had turned into a big kind of meaty but not quite real still like an effigy of the Incredible Hulk floating a few feet off the ground and a few feet tall and wide,. It still seemed to work the same and so I wished/ willed it back,. I thought about it though and realized this effigy/ doll / symbol was only a tool of my imagination to help me believe that I could make what I want from this world whenever I want and so I left the whole dream situations completely I left the pixie doll and went to go practice just this new found talent,. And look, I know this seems kind of juvenile,.  It's my dreams, duh how could I not already be doing this and practicing it,.  Right?  Well, in short, I have been!  But not to this extent! Definitely not recently, I've been stuck around a block radius of my home for like a year when I actually get out of my body aside from spontaneous times when I'm having lucid dreams and just dreams in general,.  Lately I've just been learning it all over again,.  I've also been experiencing a lot of lucidity within my dreams, more so than usual,. I've not much really experimented with what I can change,. It's mostly just been exploring and doing whatever comes natural or by accident,. If something seems solid I take it for solid if I slipped right through something than, " oh, surprise! Well, that was cool, :)" and so on,. 

        Anyways, like I've said I've played with expectation thinking say like when I go into this next room there will be women and then I go in and yes plenty of women,. "Just as an example", but I've not much tried to manipulate my immediate foreground,.

Well my son is bothering me to play with roblox ,. Holy moly,. I will be free one day!! Mark my words!

18 years isn't thaaaaaaattt looonggg,. Right? Ya feel me? ;) lol

Much love fam,

                 Dark

DarknChildlike

I couldn't quite say this in an intelligible way, but I think what I meant is, (about the movie's segment of the dream) was, that in the dream the movies that I seen seemed like seeing an old brother or sister I never knew I had or had forgotten and swore that these things were whatever they are, molded my personality in some huge way and helped me build me into who I am or was at the time and at the very least had very real emotional memories of these things and I almost wanted to cry,. And I think that feeling is what made it manifest,. Anyways tho the other very novel thing about it this is,. I have no bonking clue what the hell those images were now and have no childhood memories of it and cannot make any sense of it or of these "made up, fake, or forgotten memories" I had experienced in the dream can't remember exactly what they looked like or what they meant to me at the time except that it was something from my past as a child and very important, I remember thinking that and feeling surprise and awe!

This has been happening to me quite a bit,. Another dream I had a few weeks ago, my uncle had preserved my childhood room inside his home with all of my childhood toys and this made my cry in the dream and I felt such powerful emotions of being loved and felt like a lightbulb went on in my skull and I cried from remembering some super important part of my life that I had forgotten but looking back on it after waking up, I can remember some of the toys and some of the things I saw and can kind of maybe think that I had experienced *something like this as a child but not exactly,. But the majority of things were absolutely things I had no real connection to after waking up but in the dream I was in awe!

This is a strange thing? Anyone have any similar experinces?

Nameless

Welcome to Wonderland Alice! The rabbit hole is deep. Often I have been given the advice to let an experience simmer on that back boiler a while when I've had experiences such as yours. This is because pretty much no one can clarify what any of it means except you yourself. But I have found this advice to be very appropriate. I have had these very strange 'dreams' many times. So this is what I do.

1 Make a  quick list (you don't need to add a lot of detail)
2 Go do something else
3 Go read your list and add anything else you remember (keep it simple. often  1 or 2 words)
4 Go do something else
5 Before bed read list, ask yourself whatever questions you have.
6 Sleep
7 Make further notations on list
8 Put list away and forget about it.

In time things begin to make sense. Sometimes almost immediately, sometimes years later. I had one AP/LD type experience that did not come to term for 40 years. This is not to discourage you as lots of interesting things happened in between.

You're doing great

And no 18 years raising a little human being into a big one isn't thaaaaaaattt looonggg. LOL LOL LOL
Remember, You came here to this physical earth to experience it in its physical form. NPR will always be there.

Lumaza

Quote from: Nameless on June 07, 2020, 23:20:36
Welcome to Wonderland Alice! The rabbit hole is deep. Often I have been given the advice to let an experience simmer on that back boiler a while when I've had experiences such as yours. This is because pretty much no one can clarify what any of it means except you yourself. But I have found this advice to be very appropriate. I have had these very strange 'dreams' many times. So this is what I do.

1 Make a  quick list (you don't need to add a lot of detail)
2 Go do something else
3 Go read your list and add anything else you remember (keep it simple. often  1 or 2 words)
4 Go do something else
5 Before bed read list, ask yourself whatever questions you have.
6 Sleep
7 Make further notations on list
8 Put list away and forget about it.

In time things begin to make sense. Sometimes almost immediately, sometimes years later. I had one AP/LD type experience that did not come to term for 40 years. This is not to discourage you as lots of interesting things happened in between.

You're doing great

And no 18 years raising a little human being into a big one isn't thaaaaaaattt looonggg. LOL LOL LOL
That sounds like a great "Formula" for success!  8-) Thank you for the share Nameless!  :-)
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

Lumaza

Quote from: DarknChildlike on June 07, 2020, 22:07:44
      This isn't big news for probably anyone else but it's something
That's all that's important here  :-) 8-) It only needs to mean something to you. For you are the one experiencing it!  :-)
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

DarknChildlike

          Nameless, I was thinking about that today actually,. I've only very rarely felt like things in my dreams are profound just as much as they are complex,. And so I really feel like especially lately, that I need to be journaling my experiences,. 

          It's just so strange to me that I felt such a sense of being cared about and included, like idk I never felt so loved than in those moments,. So strange I just don't get it except that in those young formative years I felt really abandoned and my feelings were always brushed under the rug,.

I hid as much as I can because I was being emotionally and physically abused to the point that I didn't want to not just not live that's not what I wanted but I wished that I had never existed and something about all of this made me feel like I was wanted and loved,. The universe said,. "You matter, You are important."

That almost made me tear up writing that lol..

Anyway the one thing that I wish I would have slowed down when being granted wishes is I now realize I could've asked to see my friend Chris that committed suicide a while back ago.... that was pretty rough moment when I realized I could have and didn't. I wished to see a girl I used to know instead because I was just having fun and don't even really like that person just the first thing that came to my mind, everything was so fun,. That's something I need to focus on,. I need to slow down and think before I act,. All of the ap stuff seems so novel and phenomenal,. It's well,. A miracle,.!! Even if it's just for me atm,.

And so, after coming back to my body or you know, waking up otherwise,. I think to myself, my god! I had a real opportunity to do this! Or reply this way! Or ask for this! Or perversely, I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have acted so brashly! I fear I failed a test! And so on and so forth,. But I've also learned that time seems to not be what we think it is and I might have an eternity to get everything right, so I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I will have another try as I go through the motions again and again.

I love you guys,

Thanks everyone, thank nameless, lumaza, ev, and others,.

This place has made a really huge difference for me!
                                                                    Sincerely,
                                                                              Dark

Lumaza

Quote from: DarknChildlike on June 08, 2020, 04:01:42
          And so, after coming back to my body or you know, waking up otherwise,. I think to myself, my god! I had a real opportunity to do this! Or reply this way! Or ask for this! Or perversely, I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have acted so brashly! I fear I failed a test! And so on and so forth,. But I've also learned that time seems to not be what we think it is and I might have an eternity to get everything right, so I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I will have another try as I go through the motions again and again.
You will get used to that "after the fact", could have, should have, didn't. It's part of the process. The important things is that you still realized it even if it was after the fact!  :-)
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla