Best meditation/energy work for my situation?

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AstralCody

Hey Astral pulse.

I will try and keep this short and brief.

I am stressed beyond belief. It's even hard to lay down and meditate. My anxiety is keeping me inside and I can't even order at a restaurant anymore. When I talk to somebody face to face I get a shot of adrenaline and my heart starts up very fast. The worst it's ever been in the ER was 145. I take it regularly and whenever I am in public it is at a constant 90bpm or higher. Of course I worry about my heart working to much and think of me having horrible health problems etc. Which makes my anxiety shoot up even more. I know there may be some people on here who can relate to me but not all when it comes to these panic attacks. They are happening daily now. I have a fear of passing out everywhere I go. My stress is off the roof. I don't see much of my family anymore... Everyone always seems stressed, people are getting divorced... and I am picking up on all of those energies. I try very hard to keep all the negativity from other people away from me but it's so hard. It's almost like these things are getting worse in my life than they used to be. My girlfriend is the only one really keeping my chin up and still reminding me to smile. My acne is getting very bad, I am weak all the time. I am pretty sure it is my medications. (I am not worried about posting this... no worries) I am on neurontin, xanax, celexa, and an acid reflex medicine. I have acid reflex so bad to where when I lay down I start choking. I have seen my doc about this all the time and it's basically just switching medicine. I had a stomach scope done etc but they just showed a hietal hernia but nothing dangerous. I am always worrying about having a major health issue, or going into a seizure all of a sudden etc. It's really life destroying. I used to do so much in my past... I was actually so successful with what I have done. I have turned into a hermit crab and I fear the world now it seems. I am so paranoid about things when I go out I can't even have fun. I hide it so well but inside I am dieing. I am staying away from caffeine and have been for a while. I feel confused all the time now, and feel like my learning abilities have stopped working, or I can't learn... I have no motivation for anything... and all this just hurts so much. I really don't know what is wrong with me, everytime I go see a doctor they say I am perfectly healthy physically. Which leads me to believe this is all anxiety. For an hour and a half last night I was shaking focusing so much on my breathing that started getting spinning feeling like I was going to pass out. Sometimes it gets so bad I have to go in the fetal position on the floor. What I wanted to do as a career now seems impossible. Especially since I can't even go outside without feeling faint and worrying about everything. This is effecting my physically to the point to where I am in pain all the time. Whenever I sleep at night my allergies are so bad that one nostril is always plugged up, of course it seems the only cure for this is medication and I will not go on another medication. The only reason I am on them is because when I am not on meds I am constantly in the ER. I don't know where to go from here. I am so lost and I need help. I am looking for specific meditations, or daily things I can do to help me get out of this hole. Some doctors I have seen in the past say I may have asbergers but now that means nothing to me. To me it's simply a medical term that scientists know nothing about so they had to give it a name. I can only do one task at a time or I panic and can't do the simplest things. I don't know how I keep smiling but I sure try. Standup comedy helps, and my girlfriend helps me beyond belief. I just want to fix all of this so bad. I worry that if I don't start becoming calmer I am going to die of stress and have white hairs at 25. I do not see much of the sun at all. I am up all night long usually having panic attacks until I sleep and wake up at 4:30pm. I am jobless and have no source of income. I really need to get better.

What is the BEST type of meditation I can start? (The most basic) My mind doesn't do well at following things. I can lay down and phase but I think of all my problems right now and can not shut my mind off. Is yoga any good? How do I start? PS: I did a search on here but every type I see looks different and I simply don't know which to use.

Thanks a bunch everyone.
   

Stookie_

I used to have bad anxiety on a regular basis. It never got to the extreme you're at, but I know how it becomes a loop... you begin to get anxious about being anxious.

What's happening is you're externalizing the cause for your anxiety, where in reality, it's in your thoughts. The anxiety first comes on as soon as you think about something, normally well before it's a reality. So if you can control your thoughts, you can control your anxiety. I've found it to be very true, though much easier said than done. You can't just quickly change your thinking habits, but if you persist at it over time, it's a sure fire way to kick the anxiety and gain confidence.

Since you're having a hard time meditating, just do some short meditations a couple times a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. Take it very seriously and don't ever make excuses not to do it... you're trying to create new thinking habits, so it's important to make it regular. It should become high priority. I've seen people say "I can't meditate, my thoughts are too active and I can't concentrate"... well, that's why you meditate, so you can get that under control.

Starting off I suggest doing just 5 minutes, though if that's too easy, extend it a few minutes. For about a week or 2, twice a day, just observe your thoughts. Sit as an outside observer watching your thoughts surface, notice them, and let them go away. The main thing is not to get caught up in a thread of thoughts and let them sweep your attention away. Just quietly watch and observe them. If you get lost thinking about something, come back to the present moment and continue observing. When you get good at that, you'll notice your thoughts are more singular and you won't get caught up in a thread.

After a week or two, or when you can do that comfortably for at least 10 minutes, move from observing to concentrating. Pick 1 particular thought/subject/visual and think only about that one thing. Like before, start at 5 minutes and slowly work your way up. Don't let any other thoughts intrude. If something takes you away from it, come right back to the exercise like nothing happened.

When you get good at that and can do it regularly for at least 10 minutes, go from concentrating on one thing to nothing. Don't let a single thought enter your head. If you get here, you'll know exactly what to do.

Don't get frustrated if a meditation doesn't go well. Keep in mind that you're gaining control of your thinking slowly over time. Keep a notebook and write notes about each meditation, what went well and what didn't, and then you can track you're progress, which will also help build confidence. Meditation becomes a fuel for living and it gets to where you hate missing a session.

If you really work and persist at it, your thinking in daily life will naturally become more singular, less chaotic, to where you're choosing what you're thinking about and naturally staying in the present moment. You'll be able to stop allowing random thoughts/associations that cause anxiety. And of course, when you get good there's no way 10 minutes will be long enough, so extend it as you need to.

Really, there's no reason why anyone can't do this everyday. It's just 10 minutes in the morning and 10 in the evening. That's half a crappy sitcom.

AstralCody

Thanks a bunch Stookie. I will give this a go. I always have loved to phase but for some reason for a while now I have not done it in so long. I think seeing the sun might help a little... I just have ZERO energy to do anything. I think I am depressed. I don't know it feels like something is putting a toll on my energy. It's not my medicine because it hasn't always been like this. Who knows... thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I'll send you good vibes before I hit the hay.

-Cody

majour ka

Hey Cody, sorry to hear your having tough times, ive been through many myself. CBT is the best thing ever for anxiety! Cognitive behavioural therapy. I got fed up with my anxiety and that really helped.

Hong Sau is a good focus meditation and sitting in the power is really good to! check out Tony stockwells heighten your spiritual awareness mp3 download on amazon, sitting in the power is very healing and helps with what ever you might need just now.

You will get  handle on it and it will pass.

Best, M

AstralCody

Thank you so much Majour  :-) Will definitely give this stuff a shot! Hope you been doing well man.
-Cody

majour ka

Cool, let me know how you get on, catch ya on skype  8-)

Stookie_

Here's a new TED speech that I think compliments exactly what I was describing above and the reasons for the exercises. What's funny is that this is a new modern study, but the exercises I mentioned have been used for ages.

http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_killingsworth_want_to_be_happier_stay_in_the_moment.html

gdo

AstralCody,

For you anxiousness, I would like to suggest some physcial work.  Do you have some land?  Do some yard work.  Go for a walk and walk purposefully and breathe deep and comfortably.
Or Run or jog or work out.  Do a task that requires physical activity and attention.  Plan it.  Plan a time to do it.  Get what you need to do it.  Make a picture in your mind of you doing it.  Avoid caffiene before attempting relaxing or meditating.

Before you attempt to meditate, take a bath or shower and relax.  Drink a glass of water, nothing else. Pick a location in which you plan only to meditate.  Then get into a comfortable position and close your eyes and just Pay Attention to your Breathing, In and out. Just that, and nothing else.  Just Breathing.  If a thought comes into your head breathe it away.


Mayan

With the meditations, I'd start with not trying to clear your mind, but to watch it. 

Start by saying to yourself, "What will my next thought be?" and wait for it.  Don't fight the thoughts and don't label them as good or bad, just sit back and wait to see what they are, and start by doing this for just two minutes, building up by a minute per session.  Afterwards, write down some of the key things.  Eventually, you can go back to the thoughts and meditate on them.

Don't fight emotion, be it positive or negative. Simply allow it to be there.

Good luck :-)