Meditation is making me unbalanced...

[CptPicard]

This might be very rare and unusual... but I'm finding the more I meditate and try to evolve spiritually the more it's making me depressed, down, misserable and sad...   I had such a great personality before I started getting into all this but now it seems my personality has changed and I'm not so much fun to be around, I'm noticing it and so are other people.  I'm getting to serious.

Somedays I'm happy and full of energy and others I just feel I don't belong here... and it's getting harder to be around people to, being much more sensitive I pickup on alot of negative energy.   I try I really do try to look on the bright side of life and be positive but there's just so many things happening in this life it difficult to stay positive.

I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY  

*Maybe this post should be somewhere else...*

[karnautrahl]

How long has this been going on for?  When I started I already had depression issues. The energy work alleviates them, clearing the mind meditation seems to halt any heavy head nonsense for me.
However there are forms of meditation that encourage brainwaves of the frequencies associated with depersonalisation, depression and other symptoms. One of these is known as transcendential mediation, I have seen links on the net talking about mental health issues from this particular practice.  I personally can't validate this though, but yes, it's not unknown.

In line with your meditation are you doing energy training or other developement? Have you balanced it with a better diet perhaps? This becomes more important the more you do-annoyingly.
Are you stimulated in other ways? regular enjoyment, social contact and work? You may have to change your job to suit you better, you may need new sports or social activities. Your brain will need a wider range of stimulation perhaps? This is about balance now I think.
I'm opinionating and trying to draw from what I know.
Hopefully others will also have some better ideas-I get this problem also-but I stay in at home too much. I can't find enough things to do either as far as going out is concerned.

[Tombo]

This might be very rare and unusual... but I'm finding the more I meditate and try to evolve spiritually the more it's making me depressed, down, misserable and sad...   I had such a great personality before I started getting into all this but now it seems my personality has changed and I'm not so much fun to be around, I'm noticing it and so are other people.  I'm getting to serious.

Somedays I'm happy and full of energy and others I just feel I don't belong here... and it's getting harder to be around people to, being much more sensitive I pickup on alot of negative energy.   I try I really do try to look on the bright side of life and be positive but there's just so many things happening in this life it difficult to stay positive.

I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY  

*Maybe this post should be somewhere else...*

I can relate to what you are saying. Now, I think meditation is not meant to bring you down! You are probably doing something wrong! There are a lot of things that can go wrong when tring to grow spiritually. Mediation is a powerful tool that like a knife can do good or bad. It  is not meant to make you serious, a lot of old meditation teachers are pretty witty and seem always happy. If meditation is bringing you into the wrong direction you have to change something, or stop it! An older Monk once told me: "Every time, Practice seemed difficult and sorrowful, I, in hindsight, realized that I was doing something wrong."
Maybe you got more sensitive due to meditation and now the negativity of other people is bringing you down? You should probably seek the council of a good meditation teacher, or pick up some books that deal with the issues.
I think it is not uncommon that meditation is bringing you temporally down but that there are techniques to get you out of this. I do not have the needed experience to help you, though.

[Tyciol]

This is definitely in the wrong forum, I think healing may have been more appropriate. Even so, that's okay.

Perhaps you are getting too into the meditation, and forgetting your old way of thinking. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, you may just be aware of certain issues and dealing with them differently. For example, when my step dad still lived with us, he was a real racist, and I laughed along with him about all his jokes. Once he left, I got to deal with some of the anger I felt at that way of thinking (though not through meditation) and when he visits, I no longer laugh along. I'm not one to berate, but I feel the awkward silence and glares express my feelings rather well. My little brother emulates this, which is great.

One other possibility, is that you are becoming more sensitive, and unearthing things you may have buried. Sometimes we can dull ourselves to certain things we dislike to enjoy life, but when we do more internal exploration, we come into closer contact with what we really want, and what we really enjoy.

Just know that meditation, in it's most base form, is never a bad thing. If you're doing too much energy work, stop. Just 'ponder'. Winnie the Pooh pondered and ate honey, and he's the happiest guy you could know. Act more childish. Ponder, and when you do it, say to yourself 'I am pondering'. All you must do it think, and thinking is NEVER a bad thing (unless someone has just thrown a grenade at you, then you need to throw it back or run away, or jump on if you want to die to save people and be a hero).

[CptPicard]

Quite some time I think but it seems to be getting worse.  I should add I'm a level 4 NFSH Healer and a probationer to the federation.  I sometimes doubt whether I'm protecting myself properly or I'm leaving my energy centers open... you never can tell.

When I actually meditate I'm very calm and relaxed... but sometimes after I can get very frustrated with small minor things because my intention is to stay in this state and everything just seems to annoy me.

Ok life is complicated at the moment and there are a lot of things going on inside my head which is getting me down.

I do try and keep myself stimulated by doing activities (martial arts twice a week and regular healing) my social life could be better I don't get out enough what with having 2 kids.  

I don't know whether I'm doing something wrong or not whilst meditating but it's not always the same! Sometimes I feel great after.  It's just long-term I've noticed a personality changed some good some not so good.

Positive changes:

Seem more relaxed
Calmer
More Loving
Caring

Negative changes in my eyes

Over emotional
Depressed occasionally
Sad
Can get frustrated easily after meditation
Become Quieter around people
Lost my witty personality
Don't fit in so much as everyone thinks you're mad if you believe in spirits and you start talking mumbo jumbo.

I can only hope that I'm going through a process of transformation which will have a good outcome.  Or maybe I'm just turning into a depressing boring old sod...  

I want to be witty again, happy, funny - but I also want to be spiritual.  I'm just finding it really hard combining them.  

[Eol007]

Hi CptPicard,

Sorry to hear you feel down in the dumps. Even the best of us have our highs and low myself included.

To be called to offer ones self to heal is a truly wonderful thing. Yet at times the healer needs some healing.  For myself I make a point of getting away from it all at times. Be it to attend a spiritual retreat or simply say a meet up with old friends for a few day to chew the fat and muse over old times etc.

Be kind to yourself - as the great work you have done, and will have yet to do: has and will stand you in great stead.

Meditation is a tricky old bean, sometimes it seems to being instant benefit, and at others it releases old sores and wounds we did not realise we had. If that seems resonant with your practice then have a look at examples of how to clear out negative gunk: for instance Robert's healing with the heart technique (to be found on the main site). Also invest some time in practicing self protection methods as it is easy to pick up on and become over sensitive to people and the environment around (especially in these tempestuous days).  

We sometimes find that while doing one type of practice we hit a brick wall. Consider not only a time out perhaps, but also taking a new of different approach to your work. Perhaps you need move a little sideways and acknowledge and invest in your own soul connection for example. A lot of healers seem to tend to neglect them selves as they often feel obliged to continuously be the giver, provider and comforter. Don't be afraid to be a taker, to ask for self healing as there is nothing selfish in such an act. Recharge your batteries and you will stand strong, and be able to become resilient to the storm around you.

Best to you,


Stephen  

[Rastus]

Sounds like your simply becoming much more Empathic.

Yes, that's right, your feeling what 'IS'.  Troublesome maybe?  Your feeling the others around you, what you once blocked.  Sometime crowds really make me unsettled until I make an extra effort to ground out the energy.

I suspect your also having issues with your 3D existance.  Knowing parts of your existence are an illusion, and parts could go away can be troublesome.  Walking the split between the current/old 3D paradigm and the new 4D/5D world is hard.  ESPECIALLY as the energies shift around so much.

I've given up a LOT of my old 3D existence.  In no particualr order I've given up drinking, most movies, most TV, computer games (that's a 23 year addiction), 'bad' thoughts, a number of other physical vices, and whole thought paradigm, most of my physical friends, and other things.

I have gained a deep spiritual understanding, contact with my higher-self and guides, my Divine Contract plan, practical examples of 4D living, enough work from spirit to occupy my day, and so much more.

For me the transition is worth the aches, I'm done with my 3D existance.  4/5 people aren't, but that's their choice.  Some people haven't gotten to play the game long enough, or they like it too much to quit.  The chose is up to you (well, all that you are), and there is no right or wrong choice.

[karnautrahl]

One question Rastus, because the phrase keep bugging the **** out of me What on Earth do you mean by 4D/5D existence and practical examples of 4D living? Is this simply a metaphor for something else, like integrating spirit awareness into your life or what?
Also is there a need to give up all this stuff to become spiritual? Or is this individual? I really had to ask because well it interested me! No critiscm is implied or intended by the way!
I'm not seeking to become spiritual myself, I don't know what that means. I practice energy work and healing because it's one of the few things I know I can do, connect with and energy training makes me feel good.

[Rastus]

Let me cobble something together, it needs to be addressed, give me a day or 3.  The info is here, but not in a single post.  And no, it's not a metaphor, not the way you mean.  Keep doing what your doing, your on the right path.

[Michael_E]

Hi CptPicard,

I can relate to what you are going through. I noticed a change in my personality when i started meditating. I struggled with this problem a bit because i didnt like the changes but i also felt like energy work and meditation in the long run would be useful and was very intrigued by it.

For me the problem involved the way i was approaching the whole topic. For me, i was taking it way too serious. My life would revolve around the idea of the importance of doing energy work to become an enlightened or more spiritual person. Ive learned that energy work or esoteric meditation popular today wont make you anymore spiritual than the anyone else. Right now i see meditation/energy work more as a hobby. Expecting that it will make you a more spiritual person is the wrong way to go in my opinion.

[Allseeingeyes]

I dont think its rare and unusual at all! This is why I started the thread about grounding..the same kinda things happen to me..

[halfphased]

Rastus, I'm done with the 3d thang and I have concluded that I am here only to see the show and enjoy a bit of food and offer guidance in any way that I am able.  But how the heck do I get the hook out?  Do you find that you still go to work and buy food and whatnot?

[sublunary]

Your sense of humor is like the sense of sight. Accept high spirits again by opening your eyes.

*~*~

[Tyciol]

I'm a level 4 NFSH Healer and a probationer to the federation.

I have no idea what the first one is, please send me a reference. Federation? Going by your name... do you mean the one from Star Trek? It's fiction, you know. Are you in one of those Trekkie cults who think it's real?

Positive changes:

Seem more relaxed
Calmer
More Loving
Caring

Relaxed is the same as calm. Loving is the same as caring. Well, similar enough anyway. I suppose relaxation is more leisure and absence of negativity, whereas calmness could simply be a resistance to it. I doubt one could love without caring... but I suppose one could care without loving... though it's really just a lesser kind of love...

Negative changes in my eyes

Over emotional
Depressed occasionally
Sad
Can get frustrated easily after meditation
Become Quieter around people
Lost my witty personality
Don't fit in so much as everyone thinks you're mad if you believe in spirits and you start talking mumbo jumbo.

By overemotional I suppose you mean easily instigated. Don't meet stress with techniques, that's a crappy way to do it, just keep a positive outlook and deal with it calmly, don't over think it, DO. Depression happens to everyone, find accomplishments and happiness's. Sadness is caused by things, find what they are. What frustrates you, the fact that the world is noisier than meditation? Deal with it. Find more things to talk about, just don't care to the opinions of other, have fun being an individual, even if it makes you look like a stereotypical TV character. As for witty, learn more, then you can bring clever facts and jokes into conversation, it comes with practise. Make cracks even if they're lame (though not if insulting), you have to improve somehow. Don't believe in spirits, that's dumb.

I want to be witty again, happy, funny - but I also want to be spiritual.  I'm just finding it really hard combining them.

Which do you want more? Whatever it is, rank that above all, make it you, cater the other to it, use it to improve all other things.

[Eol007]

Tryciol,

For info see: http://www.nfsh.org.uk/

S  

[dreamosis]

I mean no disrespect to anybody when I write this, but when I read the subject of this post, I had a pretty good laugh.

I thought, "you're messed up after doing meditation?  OF COURSE YOU ARE!"

I mean this respectfully as possible, but I feel that--in a way--meditating is supposed to mess you up.  No, that isn't right.  Meditating, I believe, is a tool that's meant to bring balance.  But, by meditating, you are increasing your awareness--and by increasing your awareness, you are increasing your awareness of your "messed-up-ness" and the messed-up-ness of those around you and the messed-up-ness of the whole wide world.  It's kind of part of the deal.  

The good news is you aren't asleep anymore.  The bad news is you aren't asleep anymore.  On the spiritual journey, you WAKE UP to deal with the nightmare, you don't wake up FROM the nightmare.  Of course, "waking up to the nightmare" is just one perspective.  You can shift your perspective and instead of seeing a "nightmare," you see transformative opportunities that on the surface look unpleasant.  

It feels to me like the original writer of this post might be in that frame of mind where you're "living the nightmare..."

-Dreamosis

[CptPicard]

I have no idea what the first one is, please send me a reference. Federation? Going by your name... do you mean the one from Star Trek? It's fiction, you know. Are you in one of those Trekkie cults who think it's real?

haha very funny....  

Relaxed is the same as calm. Loving is the same as caring. Well, similar enough anyway. I suppose relaxation is more leisure and absence of negativity, whereas calmness could simply be a resistance to it. I doubt one could love without caring... but I suppose one could care without loving... though it's really just a lesser kind of love...

So your definition of caring is the same as loving! hmmm I find that a little difficult to understand.  I love my family, I love my wife and I love some other people.  I don't love my best friend, I don't love my neighbors but I care enough about them.  That was my point, I don't think you needed to break down my words and analyze them and force your own definitions.  but I respect everyone has there opinion.

By overemotional I suppose you mean easily instigated. Don't meet stress with techniques, that's a crappy way to do it, just keep a positive outlook and deal with it calmly, don't over think it, DO

I think the word I used being over emotional is a header for a combination of emotions which I never used to have, given a situation or event.  Take for instance the tsunami disaster I couldn't stop weeping when I saw the horrific images of the devasation caused and the poor victims that suffered and the family that live without there loved ones... Writing this now I feel the tears in my eyes.

Or watching some program on television, something sad happens - there I go, crying again....   It feels like a weekness.
But the best one is when someone cries.... I can't resist but to cry with them.  it's terrible and I never used to be this sensitive or over emotional.

What frustrates you, the fact that the world is noisier than meditation? Deal with it.

Yes I agree that I've got to deal with being annoyed easily after meditation because of being so relaxed and staying in that mood and everything else seems noisy.  But it's easier said than done.

As for witty, learn more, then you can bring clever facts and jokes into conversation, it comes with practise. Make cracks even if they're lame (though not if insulting), you have to improve somehow. Don't believe in spirits, that's dumb.

Learn more what exactly do you mean by that?  Generally my knowledge is great and I used to have a fantastic personality as I've already explained...  But somehow it seems to have suppressed itself and I've been given this other one.  I would say a higher percentage of people either don't know or are to narrow minded to understand about anything supernatural and bringing this into conversation just doesn't work as people think your mad.  This is me and this is who I am...  all I'm saying is I find it difficult combining the spiritual knowledge I have into everyday life when there's to many atheists out there.

And I think your last comment about not believing in spirits is a little unfair. Of course I believe in spirits - I've seen enough for myself.

Hey I was just feeling LOW and I wanted opinions and to know whether others are/have experienced something similar, and it seems that others have.

[CptPicard]

It has brought me a lot of comfort hearing from all your replies, thank you.  

[Tyciol]

You feel bad about crying? Too bad.

I, as a male, dulled myself to emotion. Something might get to me, but I wouldn't cry.

I cry at beauty, at sacrifice... what is wrong with that? Being able to cry, not being a pent up rock, that's bloody beautiful buster.

Now seriously, explain what the 'Federation' is to me.

[CptPicard]

Tyciol

Now seriously, explain what the 'Federation' is to me.

This info is all on the NFSH website http://www.nfsh.org.uk/

The NFSH, founded in 1954 is the principle organisation for spiritual healing in the United Kingdom. It is a registered charity governed by a board of trustees drawn from the membership.

The organisation is self regulating with a strict code of conduct and complaints & discipline procedures. NFSH accepts into membership and supports and trains those who wish to develop their healing capabilities. The organisation is funded by its members but also welcomes donations from individuals who benefit from spiritual healing.

The NFSH trains and supports its membership to give healing to all who request it.

NFSH members give healing in private practice, in healing centres and when requested in hospitals and hospices.

Licensed tutors deliver NFSH healing development courses throughout the UK and overseas.

NFSH promotes research into healing  
............................................................................

I can't just dull myself to emotion, it's something that's got stronger since meditating and I think I've got to learn to control it.    Why do you keep saying "to bad" I'm not feeling sorry for myself!  I'm just new to this sensitive way of living and in need of help.

[karnautrahl]

When they teach healing cptpicard, what techniques are they teaching. I was going to join years ago when I was 17 but then I realised it wasn't for me. I'm too independent minded to join a group with qualifications and rules.  Before I discovered NEW I was still able to work on people using healing, it was more instinctive perhaps and I got results.
Would you say my current combination of instinctive energy channeling and the NEW system that I use now to structure and enhance my training compatible with how NFSH works these days?

Thought I'd ask because their website doesn't clarify what you are actually taught.

[CptPicard]

karnautrahl

Spiritual healers work with this positive intention in a deliberate way. They will focus their attention to the highest source of Peace and Love in the universe that they can imagine. This is called attunement to the universal source and is similar to meditation. It is a state of heightened awareness: being totally present and at the same time having an attitude of detachment.
The healers then consciously direct this experience of union with the universal source through themselves to the patient. This is called channeling, where the experience of love is directed through the healer and is not from the healer him or herself. This type of healing with a patient present is sometimes called 'laying on of hands', although the hands are mainly held a short distance off the body. At the end of a healing session healers will consciously break the connection they have made with the patient and resume their normal everyday conscious state of being.
Spiritual healers/NFSH healers work around the Aura scanning for any potential problems which the healer should pickup intuitively.  I'm actually capable of seeing Auras when deeply relaxed and attuned so I suppose that's a good combination.

Level 1, 2, 3 and 4  

A Cleansing Breath to strengthen and purify the Aura
The History of spiritual healing
The Mechanics of spiritual healing
Breathing exercises – Action, Rhythmic Breathing, Brain Stimulation and Full Breath abdominal – Intercostal – Clavicular.
Overview of the Physical body and Endocrine Organs
Relaxation methods - Physical Relaxation, Mental Relaxation
Stress Management
The Energy Centres and their relationship to the endocrine organs. Covers in great detail the 7 Major Energy centres (chakras) and there interrelationships with the endocrine organs, pineal, pituitary, thyroid, parathyroid, thymus, pancreas, adrenals and gonads.
Meditation and the Healer
Grounding
Creative Mind
Our Invisible Bodies (The Subtle Energies) Invisible Aspects of the Physical Body, the Human Energy Field / Aura, Universal Energy Field.  Etheric Body, Emotional Body or Astral body, The Mental body and the Soul.
The Spiritual Nature of healing
Holistic Healing
Levels Of Attunement
Distant Healing
Attunement For Contact Healing
The Act Of Healing – Ground, Attune, Protect, Permission
Code of Conduct
The Healer's Role In The Cosmic Plan
Reincarnation And Karma

This is just some theory you learn in the course but overall it's 70% practical.  With regular Meditations, learning to protect yourself putting yourself in an egg of light, reaffirming, attuning, and increasing your level of consciousness to the universal energies and of course Healing each other.