Questions about this persistent pressure on the top of my head

[Amane]

Hello, as the title says, I have been having this pressure on the very top of my head, it's in the dead center, too, it feels like something is pressing down on it, and I have been having this for around 2-3 times now and it started around late September this year, and I just had another one around 3 days ago... (and as far as I remember I already am having it ever since Sunday this week, and continued to be felt until the next day), while 2 days ago I had a headache.

It feels kinda unnatural though, since if I am to have a headache, it will be like how it felt 2 days ago, but this pressure on the very top of my head is very unnatural for me and it is NOT painful, it is more of a discomfort, a VERY noticeable one at that (like some bored classmate or friend wanting to tick me off by pressing on my head consistently, that kinda feeling), though sometimes it is a bit painful too, and I have only experienced it for the first time in my life, this year, around a few weeks after... some family problems came to my life so much that I have been plunged into deep depression and suicidal thoughts, thoughts like why do I even exists, thoughts of own worthlessness and I literally hated myself, blamed myself for everything (after realizing that, indeed, I am to be fully or partially be blamed for everything that happens to me and to anything and anyone around me; in other words, I am "responsible" for what happens, even those very negative events before), a few weeks passed since those problems came to my life, I set a goal to myself that I have to keep living or else I will continue to be a burden to other people when I am gone; they hate me while I still exists, but they will surely still hate me even if I am already dead; I am already a burden to them while I still exist, and I will surely still be a burden once I am dead, so what am I to do? Keep living, and leave it to Death to decide how long I will live; its not like I will accomplish anything by killing myself anyway, and that if I chose to live on, I will surely have more chances to forgive myself and make up for what I've done; being a burden to others and other people hating me for reasons I do not know, and while I still live, I am going to get back on the path towards my life goals, being so "done" with life and all, like, "I do not care anymore, I'm just gonna keep living and do what I want and have to do", I have that kinda feeling now.

As of now, one of my goals is to live my life, not become a burden to anyone else and to my own self, and do... awesome things; further refining of my Psychic and Magickal abilities, doing my best at school, honing the power of my memory to achieve a training-obtained Eidetic Memory/Powerful Memorization skills, then doing some recreational activities from time to time, albeit a bit on the non-spiritual side such as arts, music, games, etc., since I feel that these are one of the steps that will help me make myself worthy of my own, self-love once again, and I do need time to recover from the self-hate I had a few months ago.

So anyway, right now, according to the info I provided above, these are the only factors I can think of regarding this pressure on the top of my head and I am researching this for a few weeks now and google keeps displaying results regarding "Kundalini Symptom"... but right now I want to gather as much info and insight as much as possible from other sources so I thought of posting here...

Is this really what they call the Kundalini Symptom? Like, is my Kundalini really rising up right now and I am beginning to feel physical symptoms of it? Also about the headache that followed 2 days ago (which is also the first time it happened after the day I consistently felt this top-of-head pressure), is it normal? I read somewhere in the internet that it is like what happens due to Kundalini rewiring my brain or something like that?

And how do I know if I am having a Kundalini Symptom and not... some sort of a brain disease now? I wanna know for now how to differentiate the two as well before I go and ask my mother to take me to the hospital to have a CT Scan (which is quite costly and might cause my mother to be unnecessarily worried).

Lastly, what is the best thing to do while I am undergoing in this Kundalini Rising event in my life (if that is really what's happening); and things such as some nice Energy Development-related work to do and etc.?

P.S. I did a little bit of research about the causes of brain tumors and all I found with my limited searching was: "Radiation to the head.
An inherited (genetic) risk. HIV infection. Cigarette smoking. Environmental toxins (for example, chemicals used in oil refineries, embalming chemicals, rubber industry chemicals)", I do not have nor experienced the first three causes said here, as for cigarette smoking I do not and will never smoke (the smell is just actually very disgusting for me, it even beats the smell we were once exposed to during our nursing training in the delivery room of a local hospital), but sometimes, year by year, I kept on encountering unruly public transportation drivers who smoke (despite the local law prohibiting smoking in this city and with a "No Smoking" sticker inside their vehicle) and I inhale the disgusting smoke they spew as a result, but I do my best to minimize the inhalation... but it makes me want to punch them in the face whenever that happens to be honest. Then for environmental toxins, I am also not exposed to those things, except maybe my everyday exposure to vehicle smoke since I have to go to school and stuff, and I often have to commute, but I don't know if those vehicle smoke counts.

Anyway sorry for the long post, I just feel like giving as much detail as I can since brain tumors are a no-no for me and I made it a goal to continue living, I would surely hate myself in the afterlife if I am to die without even attaining my goals now, so I have to keep this life, that has been saved many times, safe and use it well to attain my goals, one of which also involves being able to help a lot of other people in the process.

[Szaxx]

You are more than you think you are.
You should understand this by now when you think about what you find easy to do.
If you're around 14 years old, its a development thing. If younger, the answer will come soon. If over 21 you can expect more things to magically appear like when you just know something totally out of the blue.
You must already be aware of astral projection and lucid dreams etc.
The question is when was your first experience?

[Amane]

You are more than you think you are.
You should understand this by now when you think about what you find easy to do.
If you're around 14 years old, its a development thing. If younger, the answer will come soon. If over 21 you can expect more things to magically appear like when you just know something totally out of the blue.
You must already be aware of astral projection and lucid dreams etc.
The question is when was your first experience?

Hmm, well I'm already 21 years old, but right now being busy with school and such, I don't got much time to practice, but lately I've been having a lot of vivid dreams.

Back then when I was around 15 or 16 years old, I am already a practicing occult mage by that time, I mostly have these headaches, and at one time, a very severe headache, good thing sleep cured it.

And yes, I am aware of Astral Projection and Lucid Dreams. As for AP, I seem to be having a lot lately, and the first few experiences I had with it is with the aid of a friend of mine who is also a magick practitioner and is also one of my mentors, she does this method of pulling me Astral Body to the AP, but I still did not reached that far in Robert Bruce's Astral Dynamics book by then so I still don't got much idea and practice on improving Shadow Memory recall, so I only get to remember bits.

As for Lucid Dreaming, it was around the time where I found myself flying on a lake (or it was like I am actually sky-diving on it), one of my teachers asked me to imagine it while she peers inside my mind and she said it seems to be a Draconian realm/planet/dimension, and it was at that location where I seem to be having an Astral Combat with a black colored dragon-like thing after it disturbed the people living around the lake by sending down giant burning rocks, and I could hear voices inside my head on how to fight it as well as having conscious control over what I am doing, albeit I do not seem to realize it was a dream (or if it is an AP) despite various attacks I intuitively used like these rain or spears made from the four elements and such, which would otherwise be impossible to do in 3D. Also, after this voice in my head kept telling me, during that fight, to attack this dragon-like thing with my swords by "combining" the two swords, the opponent seem to have dissipated after I slashed it (before it actually slashed me too, it was just a split second difference and I could still remember the chilling feeling I have on avoiding a potentially painful strike from it), after that my view switched from first-person view to third person view, and I saw a long-haired person, with black hair and white colored robes there with horns and wings, it seems my consciousness was inside that person I was seeing back then, and then that person smiled at me, while the people around us rejoiced and cheered on that person I saw for defeating the being which is casing trouble. It was quite a spectacle, but yeah, that's what happened. It's still a mystery to me on who that person is though...

Also, regarding Shadow Memory recall, it seems I get to remember more dreams/lucid dreams/astral projection experiences more clearly or in a larger time duration if I woke up after the event and I don't feel groggy at all, it seems during those times my consciousness is just way too sleepy to even recall anything... probably during the days when I had trouble falling asleep at right times.

In any case, it seems these head pressures aren't caused by a brain disease or tumor I do not know about and are merely just sort of energies affecting how I feel on my head, yes?

From what I currently researched, it seems these head pressures are caused by excess energies? I do not know if it is going out from my body or going into my body... I do not know what to do about this in order to utilize these influx of energies though (if that is what's really happening).

[Szaxx]

Your recall can be improved if you are aware of yourself enough to wake slowly and remember the experience as you wake. You can get total recall by doing this.
There's so many different environments to experience in the non physical (NP) that fighting isn't normally a good thing if its out of sorts for the environment. This all depends on the reason for the battle. If fighting is the only way to solve the issue then so be it, you know this expectation though.
If it's saving locals from some terror and you succeed (a must do) then it may be a retrieval or a test of your mettle. That said, if you were only following a storyline with little self awareness, it will be a symbolic dream with messages for you. These need to be interpreted with the key characteristics and how you were feeling during the experience.
The top of the head thing can take many forms, I'd guess its an individual sensation. If its energy related or similar, I'm unsure, there's something going on. The thing that is apparent is everyone who has had this has progressed somewhat further into more challenging experiences.
After my first encounter I started to have clairvoyant dreams and a few years later retrievals started to increase in number and complexity.
Work on your recall first, the slow wake method is hard to do when the time up call is pulling you back. It can be done.

For an example of the details you can recall and a good experience.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_projection_experiences/new_jericho_large_scale_retrieval-t42995.0.html;msg335266
You'll need an hour to read it all.

[Amane]

Your recall can be improved if you are aware of yourself enough to wake slowly and remember the experience as you wake. You can get total recall by doing this.
There's so many different environments to experience in the non physical (NP) that fighting isn't normally a good thing if its out of sorts for the environment. This all depends on the reason for the battle. If fighting is the only way to solve the issue then so be it, you know this expectation though.
If it's saving locals from some terror and you succeed (a must do) then it may be a retrieval or a test of your mettle. That said, if you were only following a storyline with little self awareness, it will be a symbolic dream with messages for you. These need to be interpreted with the key characteristics and how you were feeling during the experience.
The top of the head thing can take many forms, I'd guess its an individual sensation. If its energy related or similar, I'm unsure, there's something going on. The thing that is apparent is everyone who has had this has progressed somewhat further into more challenging experiences.
After my first encounter I started to have clairvoyant dreams and a few years later retrievals started to increase in number and complexity.
Work on your recall first, the slow wake method is hard to do when the time up call is pulling you back. It can be done.

For an example of the details you can recall and a good experience.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_projection_experiences/new_jericho_large_scale_retrieval-t42995.0.html;msg335266
You'll need an hour to read it all.

Hello. Yes, I always often get to remember most parts of my dreams clearly whenever I get to wake up without being in a hurry; such as being woken up by an alarm due to the need to go to school.

Oh and thanks for giving insights about this Astral Battle that I had. As for what I felt during the experience; another detail of what happened during that dream (or Astral Projection experience?) it actually all feels very real, during the time I was gazing at the lake from the sky, I could feel the cold, wet and misty texture of the clouds to my skin, and then to walking around the mountains surrounding the lake, meeting some locals, sitting on a chair and chatting with... other 2 or 3 people who seem to be females, and I have a feeling that I know them... anyways during that time, the giant burning rocks started to fall and I got annoyed since we were relaxing there, I also felt the need to stop the one causing those rocks to fall since the people will surely get injured if I don't (and they are already panicking that time too) so I charged into battle, and I think the other 2 or 3 people I was talking to that time were helping the people get to safety.

During the fight, I actually felt different, from the feeling of wanting to stop the being causing the rocks to fall, when I was in front of it, I was kind of in a "wobbly" kinda feeling, or a bit confused, since I never seriously fought anyone in life, even until this point, and even during Taekwondo Sparring sessions/competitions, I always hold back and is always afraid to harm my opponent. Anyways, so during the battle, this dragon-like thing was getting ready to swing its spear to me, I panicked a bit since I don't know what to do, but then I heard this voice inside my head telling me to use the Four Elements to summon spears made out of it and attack the dragon with it much like a continuous-fire energy bolts one can do in the Astral Plane (and as Robert Bruce described; one of the easiest form of attack to do since you don't have to focus too much on the form, unlike an Astral Sword), well it did not do much damage, but I managed to dodge its attacks, the battle seems to be going nowhere since, for some reason, the Elemental Spears I was firing at it does feel kind of weak, it's like an energy construct that is very weak, it lacks some sort of solidity, and I can only attribute it to my not-so-strong willpower back then as well as weak focus, so then the voice in my head told me to summon two swords (I was actually crafting them from Psi Balls back then and visualizing them to being imbued with Light Energy, then the other one, with Elemental Energies), and this voice told me to combine the two swords, so yeah, before the dragon-like thing's spear managed to hit me, I was able to slash him first and I won the battle.

That's mostly the full account of my experience back then. I never had any dream like that after all these years... or so I thought, but recently around 2-3 years ago, I seem to have another AP experience (as my teacher friend and mentor validated it) where I was fighting in a war in a realm with lots of plant life in it, most of which are colored blue and green, and our commander is this blonde girl that I seem to know (to which, my friend told me that that girl was my Twin Flame). It felt as real as any other too.

As for these symbols, if they aren't really an AP experience, I'll try to search Akashic Records for it these if that might help, or even review these particular dreams from there.


Oh and by the way, about this "Retrieval", do you perhaps mean I am starting to recover/retrieve Past Life memories? And yes, as for challenging experiences, I did encounter a lot lately, one of those is the incident I summarized on my first post in this thread; hating myself (for the first time in my life) and all that mess.

And thanks for the article, I will read it once exams are over, too.