What's wrong with me? (Chakra wise)

[Jdeadevil]

Guys I need comments because I want answers. For the past few weeks now I've been getting outstandingly lonely and depressed, and my compassion has felt through the roof with some people I've spoken to. Specifically at home it feels particular stressful sometimes, if I don't listen to music constantly, the only thing I'll hear if my dad yawning stupidly loudly every ten seconds and whistling every-time he gets off his chair to do something, until he sits back down again. I don't talk to that many people at all, just a few people who make me feel guilty and/or silly when I say I'm depressed on my Facebook status, and less than a handful of people I actually talk to when I can online. One of which basically forgets about his computer when his mates are round so I can only talk to him sometimes compared to when I spoke to him all the time. The other is a girl who, online I've felt quite attracted to for a few years now, is amazingly good looking and is always friendly. But the problem with her is that sometimes I feel like she only wants to talk to a specific type of person, like a better looking guy than me, but I can't be 100% sure, it just feels that way.

Now my problem stems from more than just that, I hate being lonely, it sounds completely pathetic but it seems since Facebook became popular and almost everyone in this town I went to college in finished singling me out and bullying me, I've had little to no social communication with anyone and this has lead to me thinking that nobody even gives a excrement no matter how much I tell them and no matter how much I make my opinion known. It's also lead to me assuming that people don't really want to be anything to do with me because I'm 'tiny' compared to the 'giants' they're talking to or could be talking to.

Then on-top of this loneliness and inferiority complex I have my issue with money, I've wanted it for so long now (school, and after five years of education after school) that it's become a big depression for me that it's not there. I know I shouldn't focus on my lack of money because it would (apparently) attract more of a lack, but I can't help but feel slapped in the face as each day passes by the British government, where-as all they want being slave labour and nobody getting paid.

Today I had an outburst, finally, into tears. I couldn't give in any longer. I had my first day at this (unpaid obviously) work experience placement and that went okay because I felt useful and social, met some lovely people. But when I came home and I felt lower than any time before, because deep down I knew I was in for another week or nothingness and aloneness. And the girl I mentioned earlier was talking about a film, and I was saying I haven't seen it, but then she put as her Facebook status that no-one listens to her, so I messaged her saying that I listened to her. But then I saw on her status someone asking her who was ignoring her and she said "Genuinely everyone". Then I lost it, I realised that I was sick and bloody tired of feeling rejected, overworked, unloved and generally not taken into account. The whole universe just felt like it was laughing at me because I was such a pathetic human being forced to deal with its excrement, everything I wanted just felt like it was over the steep mountain yet my legs were already broke for walking so long. Society singled me out of every friend circle because I was different and didn't conform to their norms, the few people I appreciate sometimes make me feel like I don't exist (I never managed to make them feel better, and if I do they don't thank me for it or don't even mention that I made any effort), and my entire life of "Aiming to get a job when I'm older" (which took maybe 15 years more or less) was a load of bullying, alienation and a massive conjunction of useless misinformation forced down my throat.

Now I mention chakras because I definitely feel my heart chakra and root chakras reacting a lot. Lots of sexual attraction for female friends mixed in with emotional attraction, followed by the feeling of inferiority, loneliness and depression. I can't feel anything other than mass sadness and wasted compassion because nothing I do or feel is enough. This has lead to me being very on-edge and stressed (also adding my home situation) all the time but also on the verge of crying days on end. I just don't know what to do, life is laughing me in the face because my own thoughts are lowering my vibration by the day - Thoughts caused by other peoples' lack of care that I exist, their probable disgust, my history of probably working for nothing. Sometimes I'd prefer the idea of my soul going "Oh bonk this excrement" and leaving my body to go home, or somewhere better.

At this moment of typing I feel very drained from all this, but I need help from someone who knows about chakras and if my experiences are connected

[LightBeam]

The chakras get out of balance because of our thoughts and state of mind, not the other way around.
Chakra exercises are all the same, you can find plenty of samples online or even here. The simplest way is imagining each chakra spinning fast and energizing itself in order to restore its balance.
However, you have a lot of work to do on yourself, how do you perceive this world and your place in it.
First, you have to stop speaking of depression, putting it as a status on Facebook and even thinking of it. The words we speak out of our mouths manifest as events and when that becomes a chain reaction, you are going to need very strong breaks to turn things around. I know it doesn't make sense to most people to think happiness when the events in their lives are the opposite, but they don't understand that as long as they keep feeling like victims and react on challenges with defeated mind and helplessness, it will create even more of the same.
Change your belief about this world that it is not suitable for you.
Change the way you view yourself through the eyes of others
Put positive statuses on your Facebook, even if you don't feel that way at the moment.
Bring light and love into others life, spring encouragement and positivity.
Don't be afraid to make changes in your life. Look for jobs in other cities, even countries.
Try to cut the facebook and time spent online. We have forgotten what the outside world looks like. We don't stop anymore to smell the flowers and look at the clouds in the sky.
If a girl does not show interest in you, let go and move on. Don't question why. Women are complicated creatures lol.
And most of all, look at life as an adventure.

[Lionheart]

 Once again another 5 Star answer from LightBeam! 

[Astralsuzy]

I agree  LightBeam said it extremely well.  You need to pull yourself up.  Think of how good you are.  If you keep going on like this you could end up with depression.  I have a friend who has depression and she has to take medication for the rest of her life.  Over the years she has been in and out of hospital getting her medication re-adjusted.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  It sounds like you do not think much of yourself and you have low self esteem.  I was like you once but things started to change.  I found people liked me but I hated people doing nice things for me.  That was a long time ago.  I have progressed a lot and you can to.  You need to keep telling yourself how good you are and accept things, such as your father yawning and whistling.  There are worse things than that.  My parents can be irritating but I have to accept it as well as other irritating things that happen around the place.  In my words I have to lump it.

[Bedeekin]

The girls are right mate... and Lionheart for the award of the 5 smileys to Lightbeam.

I am wondering... What are your interests?

What are you good at?

What do you find passionate?

Don't give any negatives... just what you love, like or want to be doing.

[Jdeadevil]

Thanks for the reply guys, it's just hard and I'm incredibly insecure about everything and I feel like if I try and get comfortable, the things that annoy and depress me will continue and it won't end. The only other thing, and this is mainly replying to LightBeam, I'm not sure how my perception of how people see me affects other people, I've always read that it's impossible to influence anybody else's behaviour and/or opinion. And I mean, this is mainly online, so my body language is unable to participate.

Bedeekin, to answer your question, I'm really not sure. For a few years I've been trying to find a hobby besides playing video games or something that doesn't make me feel inferior to other people (like Art). Been thinking of saving up some money and buying myself an electric keyboard, but I only keep £50 from benefits a month and my phone bill is £21.50. I enjoy listening to music, new music interests me but I'm too fussy on what I listen to sometimes.

As for what I'm already good at, I don't really know. Nowadays people consider anything to do with computers a normal skill-set so I don't count anything from my education as something I'm good at. I guess I'm okay at rhythm games, some more than others. I'm not going to list lucid dreaming or AP'ing as something I enjoy because I'm not very 'good' at it yet.

[Lionheart]

Bedeekin, to answer your question, I'm really not sure. For a few years I've been trying to find a hobby besides playing video games or something that doesn't make me feel inferior to other people (like Art).

Who cares what other people think of you? You don't create Art or have a hobby to be judged, you do it because it resonate within you, because it is a passion of yours.

This is exactly what I hate about the control mechanisms that are in place right now.

You are taught in school, by peer pressure, how to act, what to think, what to wear, who to become friends with. If you don't abide by their rules, then you are labeled an outcast.
They are using youth today as a cash cow. If you try to buck the system, you immediately get chastised or abandoned for it. This is exactly what is causing so much depression and drams in the lives of teenagers these days.

Just recently in California they have started to put ID tags around the neck of kids. If they can make chipping per say normal to them now, then as they grow up it will be just common place. They attack the parents with fear scenarios to get the parents on board with what they are doing. So there isn't really objections to what they are doing. There are a couple of people fighting, but only a few hard to find voices.

They have people convinced that if you do not use Social Media or have the newest gadgets that you are less than the dirt on the ground. This a great advertising technique. It just leads to more money in their pockets. They have learned that the key to control is fear and embarrassment.

I have seen so many commercials trying to embarrass people by indirectly saying that if you don't own this or that or do this or that, that you are a Dinosaur or outcast.

You seem to be depressed because of actions of people around you.

Drop the Facebook for a couple of months. Everyone needs a rest from that pressure once in awhile.

Find a place to donate some time to others in need. Go down to a soup garden or homeless center, etc. You will find that these people could care a less about what Social Media has to say. You will also see that these people, even in their current situations, are still trying to make the best out of what they have.

You are you. What others think of you should have no bearing on you at all. Do whatever what makes you happy. You are young, learn to live!  

This is a headline from today;s news. Here is a parent that is takng the problem head on and has devised his own solution. I applaud him for his action.
http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/07/tech/social-media/dad-daughter-facebook/index.html

[Jdeadevil]

It's annoying, I don't like this era (can someone buy me an animus from Abstergo?). It's all about pressuring people into losing all independence and learning how to use and get around technology. What happened to all the tall, beard stroking people artists who look like Guy Fawkes? They look generic now because it's all computer based. Same for musicians and any other profession. It's all, if you don't know how to programme in PHP and spam social networking adverts you don't deserve to be in any industry to do with ICT because you're not generic enough "like us".

.. Okay well that was a bit stereotypical, but anyway,

I know, I just depend on other people a lot of the time, hence loneliness is quite a problem. I've always generally been an outcast for the very reason you describe.

But that's the thing, am I me? Or am I fraction of everyone else? If there's anything the spiritual ego debate confuses me on, it's my sense of identity, does having a sense of identity make me ego-centric, arrogant and misinformed?

[Lionheart]

It's annoying, I don't like this era (can someone buy me an animus from Abstergo?). It's all about pressuring people into losing all independence and learning how to use and get around technology. What happened to all the tall, beard stroking people artists who look like Guy Fawkes? They look generic now because it's all computer based. Same for musicians and any other profession. It's all, if you don't know how to programme in PHP and spam social networking adverts you don't deserve to be in any industry to do with ICT because you're not generic enough "like us".

i agree. Here is an example of a change in things I can't really understand.

There is a snowstorm bearing down on the East Coast right now. For thousands of years we have experienced snowstorms and we know to hunker down when they are coming.

Right now the Weather Channel is doing a full 24 stint on this storm. They have people reporting from the storm, standing in the snow. Surprise, surprise, snow actually coming from a snowstorm, it's a good thing they are telling people about this. Not only are they reporting it, they are also receiving tweets from twits that are texting what is actually happening in this snowstorm. My guess is, it's probably windy and snow is coming down, but again, thanks to the person standing in it reporting it, I now know what a snowstorm is capable of.

Technology once again coming through when common sense doesn't.  

But in the end, we have to do the best with what we have. This foolishness is not going to go away anytime soon.

[Jdeadevil]

So the reporter was standing in this snowstorm, but still relying on tweets to know what's going on? Morons, MORONS!!!

[Lionheart]

So the reporter was standing in this snowstorm, but still relying on tweets to know what's going on? Morons, MORONS!!!

No the reporters were standing in the snowstorm but the tweets were coming into the Weather Channel central location. I don't think that the reporters could see those tweets. It's just the principle of how we have to tweet/twit about everything.

If you talk to a number of older people they will tell you that changes to this World via new technology has made us into a bunch of whiny little kids.

Today's generation wants everything right now and at their fingertips, we see this quite a bit, even on this Forum. Patience seems to be a thing of the past.

Many books have been written on OBEs/Astral Travel. It took those people years to learn what they did. It took patience and determination to succeed the way they did.

That used to be the way to achieve goals. Nowadays I see a number of people achieving their goals by stepping on or stealing other people's ideas. I see people taking shortcuts everywhere. I am a Artist and at the shows we go to there are a number of people, some being sent by big companies, at the show with the intention of stealing or taking advantage of another Artist's work.

Major movies that we see today are remakes. They want to go with the "sure thing", instead of taking risks. Bedeekin could likely vouch for this.

it has to get better soon, I am patiently waiting for the tide to turn, but quickly losing faith that it will.

Anyways, I bet this rant about things other than depression has relieved your depressed feelings a bit. By your last comments it sounds like you are "zeroing in" on what is really bothering you.

I apologize to you and the other members here for this rant as well. Sometimes this just needs to be said!

[Bedeekin]

Bedeekin, to answer your question, I'm really not sure. For a few years I've been trying to find a hobby besides playing video games or something that doesn't make me feel inferior to other people (like Art).

Haha... like 'art'.

Well I must be one of the most inferior people in society. My dad and those around me used to say "stop messing around with drawing and get a proper job"... If I'd had listened to ANYBODY in my life about what they expected me to do I wouldn't have left Middlesbrough... wouldn't have come to London to work on The Mummy Returns... wouldn't be living in Bray and have worked on The Dark Knight and all the Harry Potter Movies... I wouldn't be producing films and creating Special Effects for them and I wouldn't be financially stable and very very happy.

All because I started doing 'ART'.

So like Lionheart said DON'T offset yourself against others and judge accordingly.. and DON'T listen to other peoples opinions about what YOU should be doing. In fact... anything that you find passionate that people would judge you for is generally the right path for YOU.

Try not to think of yourself as 'society' with the need to act within the constraints of normality. Strive to be different. Strive to better yourself. Strive to do what you want to do.

You aren't doing anything at the moment. You haven't got a job that ties you down. You also don't necessarily have financial traps that won't allow you to 'break free'... and most of all... DON'T listen to me and others telling you what you should or should not be doing. 

[Jdeadevil]

Well I have a work experience placement, finished my first day Wednesday.. But it's not really paid so I can back out at any time