my magic powers are acting up aka (self sabotage)

[tenshi_R]

im not gonna go into details too much
I belive that I have a strong effect on whata going on around me and I ve been keeping track of the things happening and my mental state and thoughts etc.
small things happen but the effects of my thinking are very fast (weeks sometimes days)

I keep going back to negative thoughts and ideas and negative expectations and my life falls apart very quickly

I also have a tendency not to listen to my gut feeling that is right on point most of the time and that doesn't help much either( after the fact its always that feeling: I told you so coming from the back of my mind)


I try to stay positive but I need positive people around me and right now I feel like im stuck with bunch of dirty influences on me(including my wife and my employer etc)   I feel stuck. but its the person im married to and have a great kid so its a hard situation to get out of.

I can also turn it around with positive thoughts but without any guidance is damn hard. anyone can give me a hand here
what to do, maybe some inspiring books to read( short books not 500 page babbles) or anything else.


i just finished watching the night watch and it got to me deep got me thinking... or to realize again that im in a loop of self destruction AGAIN and this time much longer than before

[Szaxx]

You need to stop and think of the whole. The bigger picture so to speak. It's easy to feel oppressed by the moments happenings. Things change and time is a great healer.
After reasoning with yourself on every action and reaction around you, it should be possible to work out a way of improving things for all those close to you to get the positive feedback you are looking for.
This may be a chore, it may be something so simple as a bunch of flowers and a smile being presented unexpectedly.
Have a think on what you can do for others to make them happy. This usually pays off in stlye.

[pm1978]

Conscious every day self: Hey, subconscious, in 6 months I want a new car.

Subconscious mind: Ok, in 6 months he will want a new car.



Guess what in 6 months. Re-read the above carefully if you dont get it at first.

Sometimes it best to visualize only and not words... OBSERVE then MERGE...

As Depeche Mode says " Enjoy the silence" : )

[tenshi_R]

I feel like the people that im around now  affecting me in negative way
I have very bad luck with everything I do

my favorite hobby( cars ) has been pretty much one big fail one after another. just sht breaking one thing after another for really stupid reasons and costing me a lot of money i

and many other things are just generally dirty. in completely out of balance and turning into one of those middle aged grumpy men that were beat down by life and just powerlessly grump about every thing that is wrong in their life.


but these dirty people are like fn spiders the cast webs around you and don't let go that easy.


i mean do i just drop everything and move away or what?

[Xanth]

Tenshi...

It really sounds like you know exactly what you need to do in order to improve your mindset.
Stop procrastinating and DO IT.  Choose to be positive.

A change of perception also does wonders for your view on life.

[soarin12]

These dirty people you mention--I would not be close friends with them.  They will tear you down.  Staying in their lives somewhat in order to be helpful is a good thing, but don't be CLOSE with them.  Close friends build each other up, not tear down.  Of course everyone has bad days but generally speaking, this should be a rule of life in my opinion. 

As for your wife, do what Xanth says and choose to change yourself.  Don't look for her to change at first, just be the person you want to be.  In time, she will probably begin to change too. 

[Lionheart]

 Hello Tenshi!  

For much of my life I purposely put myself into situations whereas I was living with someone that had a serious problem, it could have been drug/sexual/spousal abuse. A current death in the family due to suicide or other, etc. I would live with them until their situation changed for the better. Until they could finally begin to live their lives again. Then I moved on to the next person or situation. I did this for almost 20 years of my life. Actually, that's what led me to my current domain today. But, this time I never left.

In all that time I learned a lot by watching others. I learned how everyone has the inner strength to struggle through any dilemma put in front of them. The problem is, many people either don't know how change it to or don't realize their own inner strengths to handle it.

This practice teaches you a lot about yourself. It shows you your strengths and yes, it also shows you your weaknesses. But, it helps you confront them as well. I know you have heard this over and over on this Forum, but we are truly all here to experience. Good, bad and ugly, they are all experiences. This is how we grow, this the lessons we came here to learn. If you don't already do it, learn how to meditate. Let those thoughts of positive or negative stream through. One by one you can deal with them.

Also take long quiet walks outside, smell the fresh air, look at the beauty this planet has to show you. With all the damage that Mankind has done and is still doing to this planet, it still looks pretty good. No matter what kind of negative hits her, she keeps on rotating.

You have the strength inside of you to overcome all this. Try to encircle yourself with things and people that make you positive. If that doesn't seem to be coming from home or your surroundings at the moment, then to place where it is. Find yourself a hobby you enjoy, try dabbling in things that you have wanted to do, but always put off. Do things that make you happy inside.

You will find that a balanced life, is a happy life. When things are balanced, you can do know wrong. Everything falls together in sequence like a puzzle. But when you are out of balance it's more like Kerplunk. The wall come tumbling down.  

[pm1978]

Maybe those spiders need you ?

Sleep in late and do some non-physical contemplation .. find answers... you might not get them in words( or maybe you will), but if you are sincere you will get results, even physically (LOA)... even if it is tough love : )