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The human condition-Self Mastery

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Bhikku

Wow Violet- that was fantastic! What a great perspective you have. I feel like that is what I have always though, but have never been able to "realize". I feel like I could create a book of great quotes solely based on that single thread you just posted. I hope you share your outlook with all those around you- it can help many people.

"Look within, thou art the Budda"

Violet

Dear Bhikku,

Thank you for your kind comments. I usually do not discuss these things with people.  Sometimes though they open the door by asking me a question and from time to time I am fortunate to have really fasinating discussions with people.

Love and Light,
Violet


Fenris

Dear Violet

More complements!!! To know in your heart and feel such truths shows intelligence balance and a healthy outlook. To be so sure of yourself that you can so coherently construct this belief and knowledge into words to enlighten others shows the pinnacle of self direction and understanding. Yes there is a lot to be gained from self analysis. The saying that above all we must be true to ourselves is both deep and true. A beautiful post, you do give the impression that you are a gentle and thought out person. These are qualities to be admired. Oh and thankyou for your posting in reply to my Karma post. I agree with your post and hold similar perspective's but I would be challenged to sum it up so well!

Take Care David



Violet

Dear Fenris,

I know it is important to learn to accept compliments but I still find myself uncomfortable when I get them.  It is that whole  humility thing I guess.  There is nothing worse than an over puffed preacher.  I often worry that I sound like one and would be mortified if I became one.  But enough of my insecurities.  I most say thank you ever so much for your kind regards.

Deepest gratitude,
Violet


MJ-12


Fenris

Its ok Violet Im not one to speak empty words. And Im not one to give out undeserving praise either. You shouldn't consider yourself a preacher of any sort, a preacher would have emailed their thoughts to everyone or gone door knocking. To be impressed by your post one has to seek it out and then choose to read it all. Besides if you were being all preachey and puffy I would have sent out a big

HAY STOP BEING ALL PREACHY LIKE!!!!

insted of all of those nice things.



Rob

Another wonderful post Violet! Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, but I think it is also a good thing to recognise your positive traits along with the negative ones. Arrogance is with respect to other people and the need to have one over them, but to say "I am good at this" can just be honesty, as long as there is an eye on the greater reality. Although I suspect you have gone down this road of thinking, but just in case....

Anyway a very interesting trait I see in far too many people is the whole putting on of a face. A face is what someone wears and acts out with the knowledge that it goes against their true inner nature. Everyone has lots of ways of being, some people would say every person is a collection of different personalities, each of which comes into play in different circumstances (to which I say sure, but they are all still "me") - this is cool though as it is human nature, just in different times and places. To give an example of a face, a guy at a school I used to go to, very "cool" and "pupular" (we all know the crowd), been with a lot of girls, got drunk the the company of one of my mates and started going on about how he would give all those girls and experiences up to have one he could truly love. The next day he was all back to usual with the "its all about how many people you have slept with" routine. Sad but true, kinda like a painted armadillo lol .
Another interesting thing is how a face is what someone puts on to act out the extrovert (oh so popular in society), it is built up on the outside if you like. An introverted way of dealing with it is in "layers", which are built inwards. A face kinda adds false traits on whereas layers filter out different ways of being and traits, stemming the flow of info rather than distorting it. Thus people don't see what you don't think they will like, the result is similar both ways.

Now I am just theorising, and am not old enough yet to watch this thoroughly in the people I know, but I think that as people get older they more and more become the face which they have created. This causes a shift further and further away from their true self, and so God. There may be light in the heart of every person but it can get seriously hidden under all the muck which people impose/have imposed on themselves.
The next stage is when people reach a point in time where the need to create a face and distrance themselves from....themselves, grows less (as inevitably it is done for social reasons, which are eventually seen as false or empty). Then the inner and false selfs have a chance to close the gap, re-integrate and maybe even learn something from the whole fun process.
But hell I could be wrong, and this is all veeeery general..
hope it makes some sense!

Hmm, I should add "studying people" as one of my hobbies

Oh how to deal with the many-faced people: pity them, and show that they don't have to try and be someone else. Attempt to actively explore their inner nature with them while showing no negativity, as they will be very defensive and use any excuse to prove what they already think they know re that there is a need to close it off.

Now myself, I have never been able to put a face on, but I have maaany layers. Still attempting to destroy them, I think the only way to do it is to stop trying to distance yourself from the world, and start embracing it! New experience should be welcomed, not rejected because of what may go wrong (and probably will if that attitude is kept). Oh and ignore the fear. (wow writing stuff can really help find new info...)

interesting stuff aye

ps Violet I will get back to you real soon on the symbols thing, am planning a little pendulum divination first to reveal the energy patterns around/from the images




Edited by - inguma on 11 April 2002  04:47:17
(!!!Formerly known as Inguma!!!)
You are the Alpha and the Omega. You are vaster than the universe and more powerful than a flaring supernova. You are truly incredible!!

Fenris

Inguma
I found you post very interesting. Like yourself i find analysing the nature of people an unavoidable past time.

You refer to the different faces people put on for various reasons. I have always more thought of them as masks, a protection the outer self provides for the inner self. It is fluid and changes to suit the envioronment and situation, to 'fit in' and conform. I guess this is ok to do as long as you know you are doing it. Most people dont.

When you go into a particualr social situation without a mask, people dont know how to take you. Because the mask is like a mirror reflecting would be communicatiors back at them selves. When they cant see a part of themselves in you they are lost. Unless they have a well developed concept of the self.

Sorry I could not elaborate a little more Im rushed to go to work!!

Best regards David

Veni Vidi Vici

PeacefulWarrior

Violet,

Thank you for those words of truth.  I think they apply to the concept introduced under the "Beauty of Grey" post.  We must overcome until our "ying yang" is completely white...that one speck of darkness we have within us in this life will some day be dispelled when we reach perfection.  I don't think that's possible in this life for us as mortals, but that's one of the main reasons we are here, incarnated in these bodies, to learn self control.

One one lived the perfect life and He has paved the way for us.  

-Daniel

fides quaerens intellectum
We shall not cease from our exploration, and at the end of all our exploring, we shall arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
T.S. Elliot
---------------
fides quaerens intellectum

Violet

Dear Inguma,

Part of your post referred to a topic I find very interesting.  People do have patterns to their personality which vary with the amount of stress placed on them.  I refer to these as programs.  We pick up programs from our parents, friends etc.  When we are stressed we use 'reaction type' programs.  The more stressed we are the more we seem to resort to 'reaction type' programs learned earlier in life.  This is why when we are extremely stressed we seem to revert almost back to childhood behaviour.  The only thing good about stress is that it forces us to see our core (root) 'reaction type' programs.  If we can identify these programs then we can stop them and move out of reaction and into action.  We can move out of the past into the moment.  

What I have found as I grow older is that I see my patterns or programs and am aware of most of them.  Therefore I can usually stop them (but not always of course) and this enables me to act instead of react.  This is the best thing about growing older.  I can be more the person that I would like to be as apposed to the person I was raised to be.  Not that my parents did a bad job.  They were good parents but they like everyone had fears, insecurities etc. that I am glad are not mine anymore.  I guess I have enough of my own baggage that I am glad I am not also carrying theirs.

The more we think as we age the clearer things get.  The thing is to have the courage to look hard at ourselves.  It is not easy.  I can see you are a thinker Inguma.  That will take you very far in life.

Much Love and Light,
Violet


Violet

Our greatest strength is to truly know and understand our greatest weaknesses and thus gain compassion towards the world and mastery over self.

How is Self Mastery related to OBE?
When we have emotions and aspects of self we deny or hide from, these tend to rush to surface when allowed, in rather unpredictable fashion.  This can be most disconcerting when meditating or during an OBE since thought is one of the truly real things when out of body.    

The Way(s) To Achieve Self Mastery.
All of us express negative qualities to a greater or lesser extent.  Especially when under stress.  So what does it mean to master oneself.  Some people seem to feel it is by surpressing emotion like say a Vulcon would (from Star Trek). Some believe it is by finding an infinitely wise Master who will teach them everything.  I look on it a bit differently. I believe there are many ways to achieve self mastery.  None better than another.  Just some ways more comfortable to some then others.  

I believe a Master still has weaknesses (part of the human condition) but because they where not afraid and did not hide or deny their weaknesses but instead studied them in full light (but privately of course...the last thing we wish to do is load our dirty laundry on others.  Plus most people are so overwhelmed by their own laundry adding to it will not help relations or matters). By understanding these weaknesses, they no longer trigger strong defensive reactions.  The Master is able to move out of reacting to a situation, in to acting in a situation.  

Self reflection and being around constructive, confident, loving people who are not at all shy to point out ones flaws and equally interested in learning about their own flaws are powerful tools to achieve  Mastery. This was the way of Carl Jung.      

What Stands Between Us and Self Mastery:
1.The Greatest Sin is not to love ones Self:
Please note that in the Greek Orthodox bible the word used for Sin means "missing the mark".  Love of self and belief in ones ability to grow and change 'independently' into something always more beautiful is the single most important perspective to have.  With this attitude every critisism, every hurt only holds opportunity for self.  Lack of self love leads to the need to defend self. Defense mechanisms and illusion creep in which deny self growth.  Believe you have potential and you will see it come true.

2. Fear of Critisism:
Reaction is the first thing we tend to feel when we are critisized.  Especially when it is by someone full of holes.  How in the world does a person move out of this feeling of defensive reaction?  The best way is to shift perspective.  Instead of saying...How dare that flawed person say anything to me.  Say to self...Wow! How lucky I am that I have such confidence that I can actually listen to this flawed person critisizing me and I actually can feel gratitude that I can get a different perspective of myself.  What an opportunity for me....After all only good can come out of me trying to improve myself.  It is amazing how this perspective can enable you to handle very tough situations that we can not avoid.  It really throws someone when their critisism is valued. Remember though you must always take critisism from a position of strength not weakness.  Never let someones critisism drag you down so you start disliking self.  That would be a great sin (1).  Always take critisism from a position of strength and self loving gratitude.  The best boss I ever had was like this.

3.Denial and Fear of Change
If we can not see a weakness we can never address it and gain mastery over it.  Denial has many forms.  When we say "Yah! But he or she does it." this is just another form of excusing ourselves out of having to change.    

4. Lack of Self Identity
Some one once told me that "We are the conglomeration of all the people we have ever met in our lives".  This statement has some truth. I know I frequently pick up habits or mannerisms I like in other people. My only thing against it is the "We are" part.  If we believe we are just parts of other people we can never separate ourselves of and truly get a sense of self. The negative aspects in our relations will for ever bother us since our own identity is too closely tied to theirs.  This is may be why flaws in non-relations never bother us quite as much as they do when the same flaw is in a family member.

5. Pandoras Box Syndrome:
This is the belief that if I look at this one thing then everything will unravel and I will become so overwhelmed that I will never be able to handle this so I will never start the process.  When we start to feel overwhelmed it is a good time to slow down and not think too much.  Just give ourselves time to integrate what we have learned about ourselves. This approach helps move past the Pandoras Box Syndrome. Slow and steady wins the race.  

How To Know When You are on the Road to Mastery:
You know when you are on the right path when the things that use to  seem real start feeling less real then the things that use to seem unreal.  What this means is that when we no longer have to waste a lot of energy defending self and building up ego with material things and image and can start putting that energy towards building self. During this process we start realizing that it is the things that can not be touched or seen that are most important.  Self-love, self-respect, perspective, sense of self.  When these become strong the world becomes a different place.  

Interesting Thoughts About Personality Traits that can Shift Perspective and help one deal with Impossible People:
1. A person who needs to Control others is frequently someone who feels so out of control inside that their only hope of gaining any form of stability is to control everything externally in infinite detail. These people are to be pitied.
2. A person who sees themselves as an Authority does know a few of their strengths perhaps but does not know their greatest strength would be to know their greatest weaknesses.  A person like this will never grow until they see all of themselves.  And having done this realize that no man is greater or less than any other man.

3. Cold critical people are people who must measure their self worth by those around them.  They lack the sense of self and self worth to be able to value themselves are a unique commodity.  The trick is to not become their measuring stick.

4. People who need to convince you that they are right have a great need to be right.  They show great lack of self confidence. Confidence in self means you do not need to convince anyone of your opinion. A confident person understands that it is all a matter of perspective and values not a matter of right and wrong and everyone will and should have their unique perspective and values.  It is helpful to feel and know the difference between arrogance and confidence.

Perspective and perception are everything and Self-Love can impower one to get there.  

Love and Light to the One and All,
Violet



Edited by - Violet on 29 March 2002  23:27:14