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Liber AL vel Legis

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n/a


SOMEBODY WOULD THEN MUST KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BOOK WRITTEN IN 7TH LEVEL BENETH KHUFU PYRAMID, BY AUTHOR ALEISTER KRAULI=666="AIWASS"I HOPE NOT THE ENTITY FROM SOTIS(SIRIUS) ARE SOMEBODY MEMBER OF O.T.O WHO COULD EXPLAIN PURPOSE OF THAT EXCELLENT BOOK, TO US PEASANTS? PERHAPS THE TRANSLATION OF THAT EASY NUMBERS AND LETTERS? HA-HA

Adrian

Greetings,

Is this the "Liber al" as channeled by Crowley from the entity "Aiwass" over three days in an Egyptian hotel room?

With best regards,

Adrian.
https://ourultimatereality.com/
Vincit Omnia Veritas

Blue_Anubis

Adrian,
Yes, that's the book.

Adrian

Greetings Blue_Anubis,

I do not want to make judgements about Thelema, Crowley or OTO. All I would ask is that people take a look at the things that Crowley felt compelled to do as a direct result of his "Liber al", in particular at his place in Sicily.

Nothing more need be said.

With best regards,

Adrian.
https://ourultimatereality.com/
Vincit Omnia Veritas

jilola

There's the catch with respect to Crowley and Thelema.
We all have the choice and free will to express ourselves as we feel right. This may or may not be what others feel is right and indeed sometimes goes against the rules of our society.

Whether one follows in Crowley's footsteps and goes for shock value or finds another, perhaps an uniquely constructive way, is the bit Thelema is about. We do what we will regardless of our awareness of Thelema or its teachings and ideas - only we come up with any number of excuses and more often than not find the fault and reason for our actions in others when in fact it is what we chose to do.

I don't accept a lot of what Crowley and the gang did and thought appropriate but there again is will in action.

Reading Crowley and Thelemic texts requires a significant self-awareness and self knowlegde. If you don't know who you are you can get seriously lost.
On the other hand if you have a solid connection with yourself and reasonable critical faculties there's worlds of wisdom and excellent ideas to be found.

One can read an angel and the devil in these texts.
Reader beware. Caveat Lector?

2cents & L&L
jouni

Adrian

Greetings jilola,

Yes I agree. That is why I will not make any comment about Crowley and suggest that people use their own freewill to judge for themselves. "The law" was supposed to be the law for the "new aeon".

With best regards,

Adrian.
https://ourultimatereality.com/
Vincit Omnia Veritas

jilola

Adrian:I thought that's what you meant by not commenting [8D]

The law of the New Aeon(tm) is that each of us has free will. Each of us has the challenge of being the best we can and of making the most of the time in this incarnation with respect to the entirety of life that is eternal. Each of us without fail and exception.

The way I've read the BOL is as follows:

Every Man and every Woman is a Star.
Do what thou Wilt Shall Be the Whole of the Law.
and above all: Love is the Law. Love under Will.

The latter part is interesting as it subjugates Love to Will, in other words exhorting each to Love with Intent and conscious thought.
The rest of the BOL makes it clear that Love and Will are the uniques we all have complete control over and should exercize(sp?) as such.

Give being yourself the best damn shot you can. No-one can expect more and there can me no blame if things don't work out. But nit has to be the very best and honest shot you can muster.

Everything else in the BOL is commentary or BS.

2cents & L&L
jouni

Blue_Anubis

Some elements of Liber AL jump out in front of the others, such as the ones you wrote about, Jilola. I think that's because they make some sense, whereas much of the rest seems to be somewhat unintelligible at face value. While it's possible that Everything else in the BOL is commentary or BS, I wonder if there are some gems hidden in there that can be found if one digs enough. Maybe some specific practices can be found and even related to specific traditions with which A. Crowley may have encountered in his travels and studies. I pointed at one such example in my initial post.

For another example refer to Chapter 1, verse 61. Here we see a reference to the desert in the same verse as a reference to the 'coiled splendour' and a 'rich headdress'. Now, the coiled serpent ('coiled splendour'?) seems to be a common representation of Kundalini. The 'rich headdress' also makes me think of Kundalini. The desert evokes the image of a camel, the letter gimel from the Hebrew alphabet, and therefore the path from Tiphareth to Kether on the Tree of Life.

jilola

I'm not  going to swallow going from 'camel' to a letter in Hebrew in a single step but I do admit there are other places in the BOL that make serious sense. The spots I mentioned are the ones most people aware of BOL can recall.

The amazing thing about the BOL is that the mopre familiar you are with the underlying systems of belief and/or the facts of human existence the more gems you can dig up.
Unfortunately the same goes for the lumps of crap you can mistake for gems due to misguided interpretation.

What one needs to keep in mind while reading Crowley's writings, especially the Law, is that a lot of it is interpretation of what was told in terms of what the recipient believed and thought as the right way to go about life. The challenge is to see behind the interpretation.

As for the encrypted bit of letters and numbers, I believe it's a challenge for someone to question everything, even class A dictation from the Higher Beings(tm) :) There's no message.

2cents & L&L
jouni


n/a

I think you are aproaching the Botl from the wrong perspective.you are watching it from the rational point of view, and try to find a hidden meanings in your own mind. Crowley was everything, except rational. he was an drug-edict and cabala-freak. but not just a jewish one(contrary to ALLAH-QUABALLAH that was made up in the medival time in Europe). there is greak KABALA and early Iranian KABALA that Crowley was trained. and the Crowley speciality was egyptian kees. without those, crowleyan kees, you can add, divide and subdue nothing! so, you could find meanings of the common good, even in the bathroom, but here is funny. there is no positive meaning for the development of human being inside that book, not if somebody is not egyptian, crazy, or a drug-edict. especialy that reference about killing a child. I found the reference on that, that in medival times that was the ritual of sacrifing a jew. not a child at all! and nobody could say, that is a single nonsense thing in a bol. you must know all the kees. and I am not an member of any Crowleyan organization, and especialy the O.T.O!

n/a


AND TO QUOTE AN VERY POWERFULL REAL-MAGE, OF THE OLD TRADITION, STILL ALIVE, Vladimir Dodig triangla, THAT IS A PROFFESIONAL MAGE, EVEN LOOK LIKE ONE, WITH A BEARD,: "IF YOU WANT TO STUDY B.O.T.L., YOU MUST STUDY ONLY AN EGYPTIAN ENCYCLOPEDIA."
AND HE HAS AN ORIGINAL, ONE OF THE, FIRST-BLUE-ONE PRINT OF O.T.O-S BIBLE OF BOTL!
ANYWAY, THE BOTL IS FINISHED AT THE 22.12.2003 -THE DAWN OF A NEW AION, WHEN STARTS RULERSHIP OF MAAT, AND THE RED LION AION!
Aeon of the goddess of truth and justice, with the victorious lion.
AND THE MAHON IS OVER, AS ABORTUS OF SON-EON, FOREVER. THANKS THE TRUTH!
I hope we will soon, no longer witness those childish football arenas!
those childish imitations of the large-magic rituals in the mezopotamia!
but with no purpose, this time when all childish nations are crazy and on their feet, for a ball!
and even with no pignata!

Blue_Anubis

For what it's worth, the correspondence between the camel and the letter Gimel is noted in the book 777 and I believe that it's also mentioned in The Book of Thoth.

Anyway, I think that Crowley was right to discourage 'comment' on Liber AL... like religion and politics, it means too many things to too many people. By looking at it from a given perspective hard enough, it seems to always yield some correspondence with that perspective, real or not.

n/a

Liber Call Me Al velLiber Call Me Al vel, vel,
now. sub figura skating "The Book of the In-Laws"

Chapter I 1. Hi! the manipulation of a Nut.
2. Company of heaven exposed; film at eleven.
3. Every Tom, willy, and Harry is a Star. Big Deal.
4. Every number is infinite; fire thy accountant.
5. I'd like a volunteer from the audience at this point - you, the Warrior Lord
of Thebes in the front row.
6. I've Hadit up to here.
7. Attention K-Mart Shoppers! It is revealed to !Who vast? the minister of
Har-Po-Marx.
8. The Khabs is in the Khu, right next to the peanut butter.
9. Worship thou the Khabs, and the Khu will take care of itself.
10. Let my servants be few and secret; they shall have enough problems without
publicity.
11. These are fools that men adore; for example, Vanna White comes to mind.
12. Come forth with a fifth and take thy fill of Old Overcoat; thou shalt see
stars!
13. I am above you and in you. I am behind you and beside you. I am hiding
behind the curtains. I know when you are sleeping, I see when you're awake. I
know if you feel joy or woe so feel joy for goodness sake.
14. There once was a Goddess, Nuit, Who dated a God named Hadit. When
Ankh-af-na-khonsu Saw what they were up to He shouted "Hail Ra-hoor-khuit!"
15. You may have already won the priesthood of infinite space, a Winnebago, all
power for your wife, or one of 663 other valuable prizes in this Aeon's Prophecy
Clearing House Giveaway!
16. For he is sunburned, and she is a lunatic. He plays with matches, and she
wanders around in the dark.
17. But for you, no such luck.
18. Look out! There's a snake on your head!
19. Oh, bend over, and I shall drive thee home!
20. Say the secret word and the Dove shall drop down.
21. If the God and the Adorer call, say unto them that I am out of the office;
they shall not see me. For I and my Lord Hadit shall be in a meeting verily
until the end of time. My Prophet shall call their Prophet.
22. Now, therefore, I have an unlisted phone number, which shall be revealed to
my Prophet when at last he ceaseth making obscene calls. I am Infinite Space,
and billions and billions of stars, yet modesty remains my best character trait.
Let no difference be made between any one thing and any other thing; in this way
wilt thou simplify thine Inventory Control.
23. But whoso maketh sense of all this, let him explain it to me as soon as
possible.
24. I am a Nut, and my number is up.
25. Divide, add, multiply, and extract square roots. There will be a quiz at the
end of the Aeon.
26. Then saith the Prophet and the Loss: Where the Hell am I, what am I on, and
where can I get more? Then she answered him, her neon-hued body dangling a wide
variety of love beads and leather thongs, saying: Like, wow! Everything is
everwhere and real, like, for sure! Totally!
27. Then the Priest answered her, kissing her lovely brow, running his hand
lightly along her thigh, nibbling on her earlobes, and unbuttoning her blouse:
"Uh. . . Right. What was the question again? Mmmph."
28. Two breathed the light, faint and faery, of the stars, then asphyxiated.
29. For I am divided by zero for the chance of confusion.
30. This is the curriculum of Math; that the pain of long division is nothing,
and the agony of Calculus, all.
31. Screw you all! I got mine, Jack.
32. Obey my Prophet! Send $20 in cash to me! Make eleven copies of this Book,
placing thy Name therein, and disperse them to others as thou wilt. Break not
the Chain, and the prosperity shall be without bounds. Would I lie to you?
33. Then the priest passed out, muttering: Heard any good ordeals, rituals, or
laws lately?
34. But she said: The ordeals are none of thy business; the rituals shall be
half known and half published by Francis King; the Law I'll give to anyone
willing to haul it away.
35. Surprise! THIS is the Book of the In-Laws! I'll bet you never guessed, huh?
You probably thought this was some ordinary, run-of-the-mill prophetic work
dictated by a praeternatural Intelligence.
36. My secretary In-a-Gadda-da-Vida shall not edit this Book, howsoever badly it
may be needed. He may comment thereupon by the wisdom of Pa-Ra-Keet. Thus shall
plausible deniability be established.
37. Also the Mazdas and the Celicas, the Oh-Yeahs and the Cowabungas, the Fafnil
and the Zermatroz, the work of the Wand, the Pantacle, the Dagger, but not the
Cup; these shall ye teach at weekend seminars.
38. He must teach; but he may make wild the parties.
39. The word of the In-Laws is PASADENA.
40. Who calls us PASADENITES will do no wrong, if he but drives through the
city. For there are therein Three Grades: the Little Old Lady, the Techie, and
the Man of Suburbia. Possession shall be nine tenths of the Law.
41. The Formula of Sin is Opposite over Hypotenuse. Oh Man, believe not thy wife
when she says she has a headache! There must be fifty-six ways to leave thy
lover! There is no bond that can unite the divided but Krazy Glue; accept no
substitutes. Darn them! Darn them anyway! Ah, heck.
42. Practice bondage in groups; thou hast the right to remain silent.
43. Do that, and await to speak unto thy lawyer.
44. For the word "unassuaged" is in every way mispronounced.
45. After all, nobody's Perfect.
46. The Key of this Law is really nothing special. 61 the Jews call it, or 58
wholesale for family. I call it eight, twelve, three point one four -- whatever
I want to. I am a God, after all.
47. They have the half, and it is the good half, too. Pull yourself together,
and tell them to get lost!
48. My Prophet looks out for number One, One, One.
49. We regret that all ordeals, words, and signs have been canceled due to the
unstable theological conditions in the East. Let Asar be with Isa, as long as
they cause no trouble. I don't care; it's not my problem.
50. Here's a tip on how to run this scam. There are three cons you can use. The
gross shall be burned, the fine shall be soaked, and the lofty chosen ones
worked over. Thus ye shall have plans and schemes, and nobody shall know what
hit them!
51. There are two doors to one townhouse; the floor of that townhouse has not
been vacuumed for months; dirty clothes and stacks of old newspapers are there,
and the odor of cat food. Let him enter in turn the two doors, having given 24
hours advance notice to the tenants as required by Law. Will he not sink? Damn.
Aargh! If thy handyman sink, the dry rot is worse than I thought. But there are
ways and means. Be goodly therefore, or betterly if possible: go to parties; eat
cream puff sundaes, and drink generic champagne and beers that foam; play strip
poker using a Tarot deck! But be sure to invite Me.
52. If the layout be botched; if thou neglectest thine proofreading, saying: Who
gives a damn; or saying, Let's order pizza, then shall Pa-Ra-Keet smite thee,
and thy pepperoni shall breed pestilence.
53. Believe me, this will make my sister feel much better. But remember, even
though you think you're such hot stuff, it shall not help thee in Court. Have
fun while you still can, Me Too! Me Too!
54. Thou shalt be graded on content, spelling and grammer.
55. Thy work shall serve as Papyri Ani.
56. Expect it not from the East or West, but watch out for the South. Argh! All
reasonable offers are accepted, and all answers correct, save only that some are
stupider than others; solve the first half of the equation, get partial credit.
But thou art still wholly in the dark.
57. Go outside, for God's sake! Love in the raw, love under water! But be
careful; there are love and love. There is the dove, and there is the can of
whipped cream, a great deal of rope, and a cooperative sheep. Choose ye well!
He, my toady, has chosen, knowing the House Rules, which are admittedly
confusing. The gallery proofs of my Book look okay, but ~ is not the Star; I
think it's a squashed bug. Leave it in; it will keep people guessing.
58. I give unusual; punctuation while, in life, upon death: full stops. Not
commas, nor do I demand proofreading
59. My incense is of Chanel No. 5 and tapioca; and there are no preservatives
therein, because the Washington Monument is exactly 555 feet tall.
60. I can count to 11, more than most of those who are with us. The White Five
Pointed Star, with a "T" in the middle, and the "T" is red. My color is black
and white in the basic configuration, but red, green and blue are seen by those
who buy the graphics display adapter. Also I have a high resolution option for
those who pay through the nose.
61. But to love me is to know me; if, under the night stars in the desert, thou
presently freezeth thy butt off before me, invoking me out of pure desperation,
thou shalt come a little to lie in a poorly insulated sleeping bag. For one
bonfire wilt thou then be willing to give all; but whoso ignites one juniper
twig shall be arrested by Park Rangers within the hour. Ye shall gather junk
food and suntan oil; ye shall wear dark glasses, ye shall wish ye were at the
beach. I charge you earnestly to come before me carrying a ridiculously heavy
backpack. Pale or puce, Libertarian or libertine, I who am without good taste
desire you. Put on the wings, and you'll look just like a chicken!
62. Every time I see you I shall whine "Me Too! Me Too!", reminding thee
strongly of thy little sister, and thy heart shall burn with annoyance.
63. Sing the rapturous love song unto me, or at least hum a few bars of
"Aleister's Restaurant": You can do anything thou wilt, at Aleister's
Restaurant; You can do anything thou wilt, at Aleister's Restaurant; Just drop
on by, we're in Cefalu, Later on today we'll have a mass for Nu; You can do
anything thou wilt, at Aleister's Restaurant;
64. I am an airhead who uses too much makeup in the evening.
65. Me Too! Me Too!
66. The Manipulation of a Nut is at an end. Tune in tomorrow for more excitement
-- same BAPH time, same BAPH channeling.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter II 1. New and improved! The filet of Haddock.
2. Oh come, all ye faithful, and Jim shall spill all the secrets which have not
been revealed already. I, Christopher Robin, am the complement of Pooh, my bear.
He is hungry, and he lives under the name of Sanders.
3. I am always the center of attention, which makes my wife a bit edgy.
4. Yet it is she who gets invited to the best parties.
5. Yuck! These old rituals are filthy! Let the nasty ones get lost; let the good
take laxatives. Then we'll talk.
6. I am heartburn and sunstroke. I am Life, and I gave at the office, yet I am
expert in Grateful Dead trivia.
7. I am The Omen and The Exorcist. I am the fly in the ointment and the lime in
the coconut. "Come unto me" is a foolish word, for I do not make house calls.
8. Who worshipped Har-Po-Marx has worshipped me; badly, for I prefer Chico.
9. Remember that existence is one long party; that hangovers pass and are done,
but liver damage remains.
10. O boy, I can see you had enough of this yesterday.
11. I see you hate the hand and the pen, but I could not afford a word
processor.
12. Because we are both broke.
13. for why? Because thou failed grammar, and me.
14. Also, we couldn't pay the electric bill.
15. For I am just the greatest thing, and my number is nine one one to the
fools, but with the "in" crowd I am eight, and one eight, and four out of five,
and two for one. Which is really critical, only I forgot why. I didn't draw to
my Jack-high straight.
16. I am a priest in drag. Oh, and I can count to eleven, just like my wife.
17. Hear me, ye people of sighing Whose next three paychecks are all spent; Now
is the time to start crying - The Landlord just increased your rent!
18. They are better off dead, these worthless bums. they will hardly feel a
thing. We don't care-we're on the winning team.
19. Is God to walk a dog? Woof! But Pig enumerates to 93.
20. Beauty and fashion, Malibu condos and fast cars, coke and cognac are of us.
21. We have nothing with the scum and the rabble. Refuse them spare change! Kick
them in the ribs! Spit on them! Gouge their eyes out! Drop napalm on their foul,
stinking streets full of cheap wine bottles and shopping carts and-excuse me, I
got carried away. If the body of the King dissolve, the Palace probably needs a
new water softener. Nuts! Haddocks! PaRa-Keets! UV lamps, steroids and contact
lenses, track lighting! I ask you, is this any way to run a pantheon? Then
again, what can you expect from a bunch of nocturnal snakes?
22. I am the Worm that lieth in the bottom of the tequila bottle which fills men
with drunkenness. For a good time, buy strange drugs from my distributor and
trip thereupon. The brain damage will barely be noticeable. Just say "Nu!" The
exposure of innocence is fun. Be a manly, lusty Man; you can explain it all to
God later.
23. I am alone. There is no God. Where am I?
24. But ye, o my people, rise up and-Shut up, o deacon; I am not there yet. This
is just one of many Grave Mysteries I plan to hint about without ever actually
telling you anything. For example, it is said, or so some say, that there are
those of my people who are hermits. Now, think not to find them milking goats in
the West County of Ireland, or even standing in wheatfields holding cubist
lanterns along the TipharethChesed Freeway, but at cocktail parties, and in the
Tokyo subway system. How is it, you ask, that such people are deemed Hermits?
Chalk up another Grave Mystery. Remember: Kill the wretched, and the weak, the
struggling masses yearning to be free! Burn their homes, plow their fields with
salt, enslave them, oppress them-oh my, I'm sorry, I seem to have gotten carried
away again. I really will try to keep a lid on it from now on. Promise.
25. It's us against them, boy, and I say we call in the nukes! The hell with
what I just promised! I hate them! I hate them! Aaaargh!
26. I am the train entering a tunnel, and the hot dog chasing a donut. If I lift
up my head, and shoot forth venom, I will have to wash the sheets in the
morning.
27. There is danger in this verse, for whoso does not give it to his editor
shall make a great mess. He shall stumble into the pit called Writers Block, and
there he shall reason with the Xaos.
28. Now, damn Because, and the horse he rode in on!
29. Just who the Hell does Because think he is, anyway?
30. If Will stops and cries Why, fire him.
31. If Power asks Why, tell it whatever it wants to hear.
32. Reason won't work either, at least not for you.
33. Enough Because, already! I don't even like his dog!
34. (What has he got against dogs, anyway? Is it my turn, now? Okay...*ahem*)
But ye, o my people, rise up and restore circulation to your arms!
35. Let the rituals be performed with latex and farm animals!
36. There are parties every other Tuesday at Bagh-i-muattar Camp.
37. A feast for the first night of Pernod over ice!
38. A feast for each of the ninety-four days of the writing on the Book of the
In-Laws.
39. A feast for Alexia, child of 1.75 Masters-Ptah-Sekhet, O profit!
40. Practices for initiation rituals, and practices for the Equinox so we can
tinkle off the A\ A\ types again.
41. A feast after class, and a feast on payday; a feast for life, and a sudden
loss of appetite following death.
42. A feast every day with me so you can get heartburn.
43. A feast every night with my wife so you can get spacey.
44. Yeah! Party hardy, bro, and fear not hangovers at all.
45. There is death for the dogs, but only if a Czechoslovakian restaurant opens
in your neighborhood.
46. Doest thou fall? Art thou hurt? Call Work Injury Resources at (213)
466-1058.
47. Where am I? What are these?
48. Pity not the fallen! (What a great idea for a song title...) they are not my
problem! I hate them, hate them, hate them! Torture them, destroy them, burn
them,! Rip their throats open with dull knives, and-whoops, there I go again.
49. I am Haddock, hear me roar, while I kill and maim the poor; they knew that I
would get them in the end. (This is one of the nine to five; after work there is
happy hour, wherein I am three sheets to the wind.)
50. Green am I, and pink in the weave of my shirt, yet the red lines are in my
eyes, and the purple shadows under them.
51. I mean really purple; it is the light high as a mountain, tall as a tree. My
toadie shall call this light "infrared," thus establishing his credentials to
create a system of scientific illuminism.
52. There is some veal; that veal is black. It is the veal you bought for dinner
three months ago; it is the veal that still lieth in the back of your
refrigerator. Throw away this fuzzy specimen of mycology! Do this, and I shall
reward thee with freedom from severe food poisoning.
53. Don't worry, kid, you won't regret writing this thing. You are perfectly OK,
I swear it, and any minor discomfort you may feel is only temporary, and
probably just psychosomatic anyway.
54. So your family, loved ones, friends, and everyone else you've ever respected
think you've gone off the deep end? Big deal! You know who you can trust, right?
The stops as thou wilt; the yields as prescribed by state law.
55. Thou shalt learn the entire English Alphabet; thou shalt learn to construct
words therefrom.
56. Laugh while you still can, mockers! They laughed at me at the University,
but now, now I will show them! Ahahaha!
57. He that is righteous shall be righteous still, he that is filthy shall take
a bath.
58. Don't go changing, to try to please me, I love you just the way you are.
Perhaps that bum is a King who likes cheap red wine. A King can choose his
refreshment as he will; the rabble cannot hide their poor taste.
59. Kill them all, and let Me sort them out!
60. Strike low, strike often; kick them when they're down, so they won't get up
again!
61. There is a light before thine eyes, a light undesired, most annoying. Buy a
new shade for your desk lamp.
62. Your chest hurts, and the roof is leaking.
63. Just breathing is an effort.
64. Oh! You let your guard down, we have you now: hail, hail, the gang's all
here: prophet of a Nut! prophet of the Odd! Prophet of Bar-B-Que! Now rejoice,
and party, and write trashy novels!
65. I am the Master; you will obey me.
66. Write and work, and find ecstasy in bed! Thrill with victory and agonize in
defeat! Those who see your death shall be glad-doesn't that make you feel just
great? I love you so much I think I'll kill you. Cheer up! We're all in this
together.
67. Hold! A little more to the left! Keep it up! Oh, for God's sake, don't pass
out now!
68. Harder! Faster! Oh! Oh! OH!!!
69. Whew! What do I feel? Am I exhausted? Not with this verse number, I'm not.
70. There are other ways, too. Wisdom says: be rich! Then canst thou afford more
joy. Recrystallize thy rapture. If thou drink, don't drive, if thou love, do. If
thou do aught joyous, don't get caught, and destroy all evidence.
71. But go for the gusto!
72. Grab more and more! Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.
73. Ah! Ah! Death! Death! Thou! Thou! Shalt! Shalt! Long!- excuse me, I got
stuck. Anyway, forget death.
74. Absence makes the Heart grow fonder. He who lives long and desires death
much is obviously not very good at suicide.
75. Aha! Listen to the Secret Code Message:
76. 20-N-Z 6-B-17-M 3-M-2-N-3-M-3 16-6-C-15 18-14-N-11-5. What the Hell does
that mean? You won't figure it out, that's for sure. Ten cometh after me; they
shall read it, and weep. But remember-even if you don't understand it, you can
still tell it to your friends.
77. O be thou proud and macho and muscular, and the Castro shall be thine.
78. Thou art really something, a special kind of guy, truly head and shoulders
above the crowd, a standout, one-of-a-kind. Thine head shall expand to encompass
the stars. They shall worship thy name, and the number of thy beverage 202.
79. The end of the filet of Haddock, and so long to you, sucker.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter III 1. Tag! You're It!
2. Things get rough from here on out; show not this chapter to thy friends.
Speling is flunked; all was not taught. It's a Hawk! It's a Higher Plane! It's
PA-RA-KEET!
3. Now first, let's get it straight that, as Gods go, I am one bad-butt dude. I
will kick their asses.
4. Choose ye an island! (I recommend the Atolls of Tahiti.)
5. Fortify it with eight vitamins and iron! (From this shall wonder be bred.)
6. Fill it with all kinds of crap!
7. I will give you a fire engine.
8. With it ye shall hose down the people, and none shall stand before you.
9. Run away! Sneak around behind them! Shoot them in the back! This is the law
of the Battle of Cowardice: we shall practice in my back yard.
10. Get the Souvenir Postcard of Cairo itself; set it in thy photo album - the
one with the dirty pictures of Egyptian children and camels - and it shall be
your Keepsake for ever. It shall not fade, or at least not much, for miraculous
four-color printing shall adhere to it eternally. Toss it in the bottom of your
underwear drawer and forget about the damned thing.
11. Save this portion for your records! I forbid argument. I forbid questions.
Hell, I forbid going to the bathroom! I will make it easy for you to mess up
your house and to destroy your home town. Thou shalt have danger and trouble;
thy weight is 195 pounds. Bar-B-Que is with thee. Worship me with gin and tonic;
worship me with scotch & with water! Let women threaten me with sharp objects;
thou knowest I love it. Let beer flow to my glass. Step on anyone who gets in
the way; mine is a modest proposal!
12. Mutilate cattle, little and big, in remote areas of Wyoming: after, a c***d
[DELETED AT THE REQUEST OF THE O.T.O LEGAL FUND].
13. Ha! I didn't say "Simon Magus says!"
14. I'll get around to it, so be patient. Yeah? And your wife, too!
15. Be careful what you wish for - I may give it to you. Hell, I may anyway.
16. No contract, explicit or implicit, is hereby established between the party
of the first part, the entity ?Who-Vast! (hereafter EW), and the party of the
second part, the Master 999 (hereafter M999). EW assumes no liability for
damages caused by or consequent to use, misuse, abuse, or disuse of Liber Call
Me AL (hereafter "Nancy") by M999. M999 assumes full responsibility for
promulgation, commentary, and routine maintenance of "Nancy," and for all civil
or criminal actions pertaining to or caused by "Nancy" or related material. Your
state may not permit exclusion of prophetic liability for channeled, inspired,
or extraterrestrial communications. In this case, state law supersedes the Logos
of the Aeon.
17. Don't worry; fear neither tax auditors, nor auto mechanics, nor weird fuzzy
things you find late at night under your bed, nor anything. Money fear not, but
rather the lack of it; nor laughter of the folk folly - with a religion like
this you're in for a lot of it. Nuts are your snack as you drink your Lite; and
I am the force that bends your arm.
18. You know all that stuff in Chapter 2 about mugging the weak and the poor?
Well, do that, but this time wear steel-toed boots.
19. The postcard they shall call the Souvenir of Cairo; count its name on thy
fingers, and it shall be unto thee as, um, 5.
20. But WHY??? Because of the fall of Because, you little brat. Now go play on
the freeway.
21. Redecorate thy temple with genuine oil paintings from the GALLERY ART SHOW
at the Cairo Hilton! Seascapes, clowns, Elvis on velvet, generic farm buildings,
and waterfalls are only a few of the many ORIGINAL ARTWORKS available at
ridiculously low prices for a LIMITED TIME! Sofa size, portrait size, and our
special TEMPLE SIZE paintings are all AVAILABLE NOW!
22. Buy a whole set, to carry thy Decorating Theme. I am the visible Object of
Worship, if you know what's good for you. It's my Aeon, and I'll scry if I want
to. The others can just wait their turns; for you and your wife are they, and
the winners of the Prophecy Clearing House Giveaway. What is this? Ask Ed
McMahon.
23. For perfume mix oil and vinegar and Thunderbird: then gasoline and
styrofoam, and afterward soften and smooth down with rich dark beer.
24. The best beer is of the Irish, Guiness; then beers of Germany, or imported
from the Orient; then of Australia; then of Canada or Mexico; then some American
pisswater, no matter the brand.
25. This drink; of this make bread and eat 'til you pop. This hath also another
use; let beer be laid in a shallow dish in the garden, with sticks propped up on
its sides: it shall become full of snails and other things which have been
ravaging your garden.
26. These dispose of, reflecting on the karmic implications of drowning in beer.
27. Also, these make good escargot if you want to catch them live and go to all
that trouble.
28. Also, ye shall reek of garlic.
29. Furthermore, if you keep them in corn meal awhile, they're supposed to taste
better. You try it first and let me know.
30. My altar is of open brass work. Burn thereupon, and all the incense will
fall through the openings and ruin your new carpet.
31. You will meet a tall dark stranger who will tinkle on you.
32. From gold forge extremely soft, yellowish steel!
33. Be ready to run away or to hide!
34. But your Townhouse shall endure throughout the centuries: though with dry
rot and termites it be unsafe and condemned, yet an invisible house there lieth
in a heap, and shall remain until the zoning laws change; when hell is frozen
over and the national debt repaid. Another load of ready cash shall then be
spent on New Age trash; another scandal-film shall bore us, titled "The Sex Life
of Horus"; another Book shall be dictated to a Prophet overrated; another parody
shall be prepared, another Breeze to pain; and we shall be still on the brink of
the Volume II Magickal Link!
35. The end of the word of Hia-wa-tha, alias Har-po-marx, alias Pa-Ra-Keet.
36. Then, suddenly, the prophet said:
37. I think I feel a song coming on -- Why do hawks swoop down from the sky
Every time she walks by? Just like me, they long to be Close to Nu.
Why do buds open to the air From the Earth, everywhere? Just like me, they long
to be Close to Nu.
In the Aeon she appeared Archangels got together And they Willed to formulate a
dream come true; So they scattered starlight for her body And eternal trees, the
hair of Nu!
38. Of course you feel light-headed; you have a hot sword stuck in your back.
Pick Door Number 3, and I will establish your way, or you can trade it all for
whatever is in this box. Oh, by the way, these are the adorations, so pay
attention: Why do snakes coil around my heart Every time we're apart? Just like
me, they long to be Close to Nu.
39. All this and a sensational best-selling book about how you achieved
communion with Aliens and a copy of this document forever - for in it is high
acid content paper, and it won't last twenty years as is - and thy comment upon
this Book of the In-Laws (I suggest "So what?") shall be Xeroxed expertly in
four colors upon beautiful bond paper stolen from an office supply store; and to
everyone that thou meetest, were it but to throw food and drink on them, it is
the Law to give as good as you get. Remember, charity begins at AUMGN. Then they
shall either shower thee with praise and fortune or set their dogs upon thee;
care to guess the odds? Run away quickly.
40. But what about the Comment? I don't got to show you no stinking Comment!
41. Establish a legitimate business organization as a front; all must be done
using at least two sets of books.
42. The ordeals thou shalt overlook, being blind drunk. Accept everybody; you'll
probably spot the traitors before they cause really catastrophic damage. I am
Pa-Ra-Keet, and I am very good at getting my servant in trouble by giving him
stupid orders like this. Success would be nice; fold not, spindle not, mutilate
not, breathe shallowly, sit still! Them that seek to arrest thee, to beat thee
up, might not even notice thee if thou art still and quiet enough. If this
doesn't work, swift as a kicked puppy run away! Be thou yet more pitiful than
he! Perhaps they shall have mercy upon thee. Lick their boots, roll over and
play dead!
43. Let the Beige Woman beware! If she lets up for one second I'll kick her butt.
I will cancel her auto insurance; I will foreclose on her mortgage; I will audit
her tax return; as a shrinking and despised credit risk shall she crawl through
loan applications, and die a renter.
44. But let her do her Will by following my directions to the letter, never
deviating from the exact path I have chosen for her! Let her act as I want her
to act, dress the way I like her to dress!
45. Then shall she be free; then I will be nice to her kids. She shall be happy,
for I know what she really wants. With my perfect guidance she shall be Nuts,
and eat Haddock.
46. I am the Lord of the Top Forties; the Sixties tune in, turn on, and drop
out; the Eighties worry about my prophecies more than Nostradamus. Failure is
likely, running away your defense; go on with my speed, and hide until they
leave!
47. This book shall be a major motion picture, with subsequent comic book
releases; but always with the illegible scrawls of my servant; for in the chance
shape of the doodles in the margins are mysteries with which Freud would have a
field day. Let him not seek to know these; but seventeen come later who shall
use them as a wallpaper pattern. Then this ink stain is a mess; then this
smeared line is a mess also. Buy a new pen, for God's sake. And SHAZAM. Blood
tests shall prove it to be his kid, stunning the medical profession. Let him not
push too hard, for only thusly could he fall off and possibly injure both
himself and the goat.
48. Now the mystery of the letters is done, and good riddance.
49. I am in a secret word that you won't want your friends to read. Just tell
them to stop at verse 48.
50. Darn them! Darn, darn, darn! GOSH darn!
51. Okay, here we go: With great big nasty sharp implements I gouge Jesus' eyes
out. Anybody for a nice cheery burning cross on the front lawn?
52. I offend another major world religion and make untold millions of additional
enemies by bonking around with Mohammed's vision.
53. Hell, let's go for it! I make appropriate rude and offensive comments about
and desecrate the temples of Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Shintoists, Confucians,
Taoists, Animists, various Native American religions, and - just so they won't
feel left out - Marxists. There, now everybody in the world hates you. Isn't it
nice to be noticed?
54. Bah! Humbug! I crap on your spitulous creeds!
55. Let's torture Mary to enrage the Catholics; let's criticize Nuns! This is
getting fun!
56. All just for the Hell of it!
57. Just in case we've left anybody out, let's also despise Canadians and
blondes and stupid people! We must have, what, something like 99. 98% of the
Earth's population covered by now?
58. But the keen and the neato, the free and the brave, ye are brothers! All
seven of you!
59. So just to make sure you don't get bored, fight each other as well as the
rest of humanity!
60. There is no law beyond Do it, then wilt.
61. There is an end to the word of the Head Honcho of the Aeon, but not yet,
apparently.
62. To me kiss up by getting clobbered over and over trying to implement all
these silly instructions. If this is bliss, I think I'll take sorrow.
63. The fool takes one look at this Book of the In-Laws, makes a rude comment,
and resolves to wait for the movie.
64. Let him come through the first ordeal, and it shall be to him as evidence
submitted to support his lawsuit.
65. Through the second, material for unknown rock groups to include in otherwise
inane lyrics.
66. Through the third, a source of dozens of pithy aphorisms with which to amaze
one's friends and alarm one's family.
67. Through the fourth, overly exalted and poorly understood material just
waiting for a good parody.
68. Yet to all it shall seem like a good excuse for doing whatever they wanted
to do anyway.
69. There is success just ahead, a light at the end of the tunnel; I promise the
troops will be home by Crowleymas.
70. I am the chicken-livered Lord of Silence and Hiding; I am afraid of the
dark.
71. Hey! You warriors over by the pillars! Your coffee break is almost over!
72. I am the guy with the wand of Double Power, baby; the wand of the force of
OY VEY - but my left hand is empty, for I crushed a beer can yesterday, and
sprained my thumb.
73. Paste the sheets from right to left and from top to bottom, then behold! A
very large sheet of paper!
74. There is a Secret in the name of PASADENA, hidden and foamy, just as the sun
at midnight seldom gives you a good tan.
75. How do you keep a Thelemite in suspense?
THE END -- Or Is It??? Aargh. Huh?
[Ed. Note: The manuscript to the Book of the Inlaws was discovered in a sealed
closet in Claremont in 1954 and is estimated to have originated circa 1900. The
three chapters are said to have been dictated to the Master 999 over three
consecutive years, on April 1st of each year. The original manuscript is written
in pig-latin. It is believed that this book is the source of over 93% of all
modern cliches. This additional information was scheduled to appear as an
introduction to our publication of the first chapter, last Spring, but the curse
of the "Editor's memory lapse" prevented the appearance of same.]
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The 'Ape of Thoth' script was written by Joe Larabell (larabell@best.com).

Tisha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was funny!
Tisha

n/a

and did you know for a fact
the Crowley had writen the first of 3 Chapters of the
book of the Law Liber Al
inside 7th level beneath Khufu´s pyramid,
exactley April the first 1904.

but there is also an announcment of the second world war,
and also the Sushkin-Gorbacov crysis in the eighties,
where never was, but it was the most close then ever,
the 3RD world war.
the book of the law also announces the warrior lord, the beast 666
the Hitler=666, and all of that name,
because the 666 is the world of warriors and beasts,
and the Hitler is numerological value of 666.

:"III;46. I am the warrior Lord of the Forties: the Eighties cower before me,& are abased. I will bring you to victory & joy: I will be at your arms in battle & ye shall delight to slay. Success is your proof; courage is your armour; go on, go on, in my strength; & ye shall turn not back for any!"

and how could Crowley know that in advance?
he was long dead before the eighties.

anybody?

n/a

also, www is 666 in Hebrew!
[:O]

Lefthandblack

quote:
Originally posted by Azaithoth999 the red

also, www is 666 in Hebrew!
[:O]



Nero?

In regards to "The book of the In-laws" that has to be the most
hilarious thing that I have read in a long time.

Blue_Anubis

At the suggestion of Tisha, I'm starting a topic about Liber Al vel Legis (The Book of the Law). For reference visit the thread 'Cults' at http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=6083&whichpage=3

To give a starting point for discussion, I'll quote my post from that thread:

quote:
When/if reading Liber AL vel Legis (AKA: The Book of the Law), please consider that the following quote is from a twelfth century pseudo-Hermetic treatise titled "The Book of the XXIV Philosophers"

"God is an infinite sphere, whose center is everywhere and circumference nowhere."

Relate that line to the descriptions of Nuit and Hadit in verses 2 and 3 of Chapter 2 in Liber AL vel Legis and see if that influences your opinion about the originality or authenticity of the book. For further reading (though dry at times) check out the book "Planets, Stars and Orbs: The Medievel Cosmos, 1200 - 1687" by Edward Grant. You'll find the above mentioned quotation on page 175, but there's other points in that chapter to compare with Liber AL as well. Hadit says "I am not extended". Well, the topic of whether or not God could be seen as an extended magnitude was a hot topic for quite some time. Even Sir Isaac Newton weighed in on the subject.


If you have an opinion about Liber AL vel Legis (http://www.sacred-texts.com/oto/engccxx.htm), this is probably the thread in which to post it.