How the heck are ya :)

[DarknChildlike]

Hello astral pulse members, I am dark. I've tried making an account several times and for one reason or another that I am not aware, it never worked. It's a rush and joy to be here!

      So, first off, I been lurking around these parts for the better part of three years. There is sooooo much information in the archives,. My head could spin. When I had my first spontaneous out of body experience, I knew that I could never go back to who I was before. It only lasted about three or four seconds, and yet, in those few seconds I experienced, simultaneously, more contradictions to the continuity and basic principals of my so called reality than I was willing to just chalk up to the simple phenomena I was aware of. Basically, I wasn't able to assuage this experience the same way parents will tell their children, 'it's ok sweetheart, your just dreaming. Go back to sleep. I knew that fundamentally there was something more to what just happened to me than I or others will be readily able or willing to admit.


    Since then I have thought of nothing else and spent every moment of every day there was extra time outside of my regular work and family time to meditation and sleep. And even then when I wasn't, I was thinking of it. I began having experiences of hypnogogia and the other signposts associated with a successful exit. Finally I was having these strange experiences of getting out of bed and kind of slumping myself onto the floor and the dresser and such in the strangest fashion. As if I were a meat marionette, and the talent just had a seizure lol.

   I would after a small time of that go on to inching myself out of bed sometimes getting stuck sometimes I would have a view of my doorway as if my head were stuck where it is, except, I had the physical sensation of getting up and touching things around me by remembering where things in relation to my bodies physical location. Sometimes when I get stuck I try to force myself out and it literally Sears with pain wherever the resistance is. I learned to change my point of view, forget about the trouble spot and twirl the situation on a different axis so to say, in order to get out.


    After I would say about a month of getting out of bed and getting snapped back to bed and getting out again over and over and over and keep in mind this is without waking. As if it's homework, and until I can do it with a certain amount of confidence or have touted enough practice, I just got to go out of the room. Things had been really tough really hard to move this whole time. Once I got a certain distance from my body it became much easier to move my limbs, hell, even began flying without a problem. I had a bunch of experiences not all of them good. I was getting out of body atleast once a week for about two years.


  I have quit astral projecting for about three or four months maybe a little more not counting the ocaisional spontaneous exit. I am now integrated everything I have experienced and ready for a renewed interest. O B E saved my life and I will go into more of that another time. I have gained so much from this site that I want to pay it forward and maybe I can help someone that is having a rough go of it as well. Thanks a lot for anyone that will read this, and god bless!


  Dark

[Nameless]

Hi Dark, glad you kept at it and finally found a way in. Often it is difficult for us tell the s ca mm ers from the those who are really interested.

Very happy you found our archives and were able to put the knowledge here to good use. We are all still learning as we go so feel free to share anything like. You are well on your way and blessing on you as well.

Hugs

[DarknChildlike]

Thank you nameless, this place has been of insurmountable value. When i was young my father was diagnosed with ms and stopped walking and my mom who wasn't happy most of her life, took the opportunity to leave. So I quit high school as a freshman and started doing things to take care of us because me my father and my younger brother became homeless. We found a cabin with a wood stove for about three hundred a month because it's all we could afford after a few months on the streets and then one studio apartment finally when he got his disability after a few years we all split up but stay in touch. I even see my mom sometimes.

  I took all of this in the worst possible way, I began drinking myself to death at an early age. Four years ago I had a baby boy, a year after that is when I had my first obe. Once I began having regular experiences I encountered some very negative beings that may or may not have been negative parts of my own psyche manifesting but that's for another topic. Either way whether spiritual in nature or subconscience, I confronted this being and afterwards I lost the urge to drink alcohol and all the other drugs I was using I quit gambling I quit looking at pornographic materials. This being had been disguised as family members and different disguises in my dreams and when The dynamic of my sleep life changed and I was bringing my consciousness there with me I was now able to stand up for myself, versus the tragic consequences of trance logic. After I would realize this isn't real I don't have to put up with it the dream would disappear and transition to something else and the transition usually left me back in my sleep logic state but no more evil things going on. It's as if, the realization that I wasn't under anyone's control exposed this being or part of me that was victimizing me would flee. A lot of times I wouldn't remember it happened even until hours after being asleep and it would hit me like a freight train as if the memory had been intentionally buried.


One night, I got out of body really quickly and easily and went out my bedroom door. My bathroom door is straight across and I realized the light is on in there and there is something going on in there.. I open the door and there is my youngest brother as a very young child. He has a torso model of my father with no arms as a young man it is bald and has a strange white powder on it. This is not normal I have never seen anyone I know in the astral I am taken aback but not frightened yet, I have a Chrystal clear mind. This all happens very quickly, I open the door instant recognition, I say questioning, 'blank?' My brothers name and instantly this gross effigy of my loved ones transforms into a large man in a pinstripe suit he has a skull for a head encrusted with beautiful gems and jewels. He grabs the inside of my elbows and I fly back through my bathroom and bedroom doors back into bed where my body lie. This entity is furious, he says to me I control you! You sin for my pleasure! I am your true father! I will devour your soul! I tell him you are not welcome here and have no power over me! And I am shook awake by my fiancé who was woke by me yelling in bed and vibrating.

Before this event, I was drinking myself to death using drugs and doing all kinds of horrible things and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop. I was on a one way track to an early grave and a horrible legacy of me in my absence as a drunk no good drug using gambling violent loser. I stopped having reoccurring dreams of this entity he usually appeared as the clown from Steven Kings it, he would do horrible things to women and children and even my loved ones and I was afraid to sleep most of the time other times I think he was pretending to disguise himself as my family members or people close to me and the fact that I was in sleep logic state it was very easy to be fooled. Once I began bringing my consciousness with me I was able to expose this negative aspect of my psyche and or demonic spirit, all I know is that after that happened about two and a half years ago I have quit drinking gambling using evil drugs and using pornographic material over night. I was killing my liver and I could feel my body shutting down and now I am better than I have ever been and I am truely happy for the first time in about ten years since I was a child. This place has helped me so much I cannot explain what it has done for me. I plan to be here regularly and try to help as many people as I can. My case I have never heard of anything like it, apart from cinemas, but it was nothing haunting my waking life it was a dream scenario and an urge to seek instant gratification in whatever form it takes. That is the real evil of the physical world. Thanks again for reading and I hope to get to know each and every one of the good people/ souls here.

Nameless you have helped a lot, actually. A lot of the people have helped a lot by just being here everyday and giving me something to read and fixate on when honing in on becoming out of body. I had to obsess over getting out in order to do so and I'm hoping this second time around after a hiatus I will be able to do so without such intense daily routine of engrossing all my time in senses in everything that is non physical reality in order to go there regularly again.

[EscapeVelocity]

That's an inspiring story of courage and redemption, Dark. Your excellent telling of it rings true with my own story and I'm  sure, many others here; so thank you for sharing. It seems a fairly common theme that many of us, in order to gain access to these extra-ordinary experiences must first pull ourselves upward from the depths of human despair. No doubt, we are not alone in the performance but the individual requirement is truly monumental. Your insight of the need to 'pay it forward' is a good recognition of the commitment going forward.

And Welcome to the Pulse!

EV

[DarknChildlike]

EscapeVelocity, thank you for your words. Words are such a powerful thing ive learned. They express intent. And that's the name of the game isn't it? I've thought about coming to people here when I was in the thick of it, and truly, I needed intervention. Help of some kind, any kind. All these supporting words and helpful healing people were here. I feared then I was such a mess I couldn't quite commit to reaching out. Now that I've fully integrated everything, it has been one year and I feel I am ready to not only seek the help of others when I need it again, but feel it is safe to share what I've been through, without scaring others from experiencing their own journeys. I found the good in the bad and I believe now that I have defeated fear of the unknown and see life doesn't end with the flesh, the only direction I can possibly take and look at myself in the mirror with pride everyday, is to spread the evolving message of love life death impermanence passion rebirth you name it.

 
    I believe if I was given the choice now, between living my life to a ripe old age with the world carrying me on high, with reverence and love, but to get there I would have to turn my back to even one person that truly needed spiritual guidance or help from me or just someone period no matter my specific skill set personally.. Or,.. die immediately and painfully knowing I stood for what I believe is right in serving my fellow man or woman when they needed someone and it was the right thing to do, I would do it. That's how the ppl are controlled. If everyone together knew that life didn't end with life on earth, and that consciousness was fluid, the world would be a beautiful place. It IS a BEAUTIFUL place but it could be better.

[DarknChildlike]

EscapeVelocity, what you said about most of us having to experience great sorrow or great pain to experience great wisdoms and profound states of being reminds me of the saying, ' god does not speak to the rich and the healthy' or something to that affect. To truely need divine intervention is to meet the divinely spiritual. Idk how much of that is true,. But who ever said it definitely didn't say it because it was just something smart to say...

[DarknChildlike]

I am saying the saying wrong how ever it is coined but the idea is that if you are rich and healthy you don't need divine interventions and so you don't pray and you are content with life the way it is not searching for anything more. The poor the weak and the severely unhealthy are in need of spirituality, therefore they seek the Holy Spirit and know him well. That's not always the case and not even the whole story or my or anyone's story I would imagine but the way you said that it made me think of it.

[EscapeVelocity]

And imo, it's not so much as God speaking to us when we are rich and healthy, it's that we feel no need to listen to his/her constant calling. It is in our deepest misery that we seem to finally become willing to listen...

You expressed the idea beautifully already and I look forward to what you bring to share. We will no doubt be the better for it.

[LightBeam]

Thank you for sharing your story, Dark! It's good to hear that someone has benefited by reading our discussions. Sometimes I think that except the few of us conversing here no one else reads this and I feel sad at times. But your post gives me hope that there may be other people who find these conversations comforting and educational.
Your story is by the book learning experience. By recognizing it as such, you had broken the cycle of events that were drawing your attention towards certain realizations. Since you made the efforts to understand the lessons behind them, they are no longer necessary to repeat. I think that if we learn how to keep our awareness high every moment of every day, know that we are here, but can know what is beyond at that very moment, we then can soak up knowledge from every single moment and truly feel the oneness with the entire multiverse. That is a very powerful feeling that many times brings me to tears of incredible joy. At moments like that I wish that every living soul feels what I feel and I wonder how can I transfer that feeling to everyone.

[Lumaza]

 First off, Welcome Dark! You have recieved some excellent replies and comments here! 

From your first post here, I can't really see where the "childlike" comes from. I see a mature person who knows what they want in life and knows how to get it. I see someone that has "allowed" his eyes to be open and thus welcome change is upon him!  

After reading your entire experience above, all I can do is direct you to this thread I created here years ago. It all has to do with "awaking" and what this practice here in general can show you about life.
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_out_of_body_experiences/tests_quests_and_challenges-t46546.0.html

Not everyone is ready to have their eyes opened!

A few years back I had a Kiosk at Christmas time in our local mall. I met a young lad whose life was spiraling out of control. I tutored him on the basics of "non physical exploration". A year later when we set up in the mall, the boy approached me and told me how much this practice had changed his life. He told me that in his OBEs he had met Jesus. He then became really preachy to me. I explained that he saw what he "needed" to see, by the only one that would have profound effect on him. He would not listen to that. He kept saying he was with Jesus and he saw him often in his experiences. I did not argue against that. In that reality, he was experiencing being with Jesus. He then attempted to "save" me. He said he was born again and once again I listened. But that's as far as it went. He ended up walking away angry and confused. He thought that everyone that APs had met Jesus. Like I said, he experienced what he "had" to. It needed to be so profound an experience that he couldn't deny or ignore it and it was.

I shared that story with you because that is what happens when you "allow" yourself to see beyond the veil. It does have a profound effect on your physical life experience as well. It changes the way you think. It makes you more of not only other people around you, but basically your life in general. Unfortunately there are many people that aren't ready to see this yet at this moment in their evolution. This physical experience consumes their entire focus and that's okay!  That's what they need and where they need to be right now!  

[DarknChildlike]

Lumaza, So basically the young lad had been interfacing with his subconscious or the collective Jesus or heck maybe even the guy Jesus but never got to the place where he realized even though ppl speak to Jesus he may be the best guide he would take advice from in order to enact the change he needed to make change, and save his life. Or the best helper of an objective form from the denizens of the higher realms, who's to say? he needed help and his ego wouldn't listen to anyone that didn't make an impact so naturally, his guide is Jesus. His subconscious was clever. It was clever because he is clever. I am clever, the manifestations I met were the thing that changed me and saved my life. His Jesus and my evil spirit could be the same guy/ it was the Nescesary evil I needed to change because maybe my ego wasn't taking orders at the time but could be scared straight by my higher self, tired of being shat on. Clever. Lumaza idk if that's what you were aiming at showing me but that was a true epiphany just now... I never thought of it like that exactly. The nature of the experience and the spirit was so autonomous. Either way, at the time I needed to believe what ever I needed to be scared straight at the time. I was dyin'. Thank you all for replying to me, especially in this smaller portion of the site. May I say something, although I just got here I've been here off and on, a lot. I feel like things have slowed down quite a lot here guys. You can't get ppl interested in this sort of thing unless they are ready,. That said, I wanna have some very thought provoking conversations and I can't think of a better place to do it... that said, please I want open criticism, be yourself, never hide something from me I will never judge anyone for there beliefs/ ideas/ question experiences whether they fit into my world of knowledge or not. I got one rule, you might not like what I do or say, but what you see is what you get. No tricks only treats. And apples. Apples are a treat idc what you think... just playing



You guys I can't describe how ecstatic I am rn, I have been following all of you regular folks for a while now. I am so happy to be here and to be received so well. I am twenty six years old. I had to grow up fast though. I feel very old in my soul, and now I am rearing up my own boy who is four yr old. This kind of support here will make me a better daddy, a better husband, a better traveller of the fold. Because this isn't something we do or pick up then put down it's a way of being. I've never had anyone to go to about this sort of thing. My wife believes me but when I try to talk to non immediate family they think I need head treatment or they did at first anyways.. I've been able to describe things to my wife when unconscious I shouldn't have been able to. Things that happened around my body and I picked up on. So I got her, but now I've got all of you.

[DarknChildlike]

The best advise I ever received about ap a read here. It was about allowing it to happen and to stop trying so damned hard. The love and the being can't be disrupted by the trying. I am young and I got a get up and hurry in me and catch myself rushing things that I shouldn't, and often. Wow, this is a breath of fresh air.

[DarknChildlike]

Lightbeam, you are another personality I have been eager to get to know better. If I'm correct, You are probably the first person or atleast the most often to reach back to the ppl who need help here and are reaching out. Or the occasional obe advise. Do not question whether this stuff is read or not/ if it has done someone good, or no. It has! This goes for everyone who has written me back.. you guys and gals that make this place what it is, are no one to shake a stick at. The contribution is immense. Humanity is honored by you, you lovely wise old heads! Lol just kidding really tho I am honored to be here, I have so much to speak on with you all in the coming days months years hopefully!


Excuse my grammar/ punctuation please.. I am self educated. I didn't make it far where I was, I did my own thing and am what I am but I won't apologize for it.. lol so avert your gaze if I disturb you lol.

I am finally getting back into my astral efforts, like I said. So there undoubtedly will be more to talk about. I've been having success, intermittent. Things are starting to get interesting!

[DarknChildlike]

Lumaza, after I read that back to myself it was hard to understand what I was saying. You see what you need to see to make the change you need to make. It's always something of a sensitive nature, because it needs to be personal and ground breaking to break whatever cycle you need to break to make what ever change you need to make. Just so glad I found myself through those bad times. Like I said this place was an instrument in saving my life.

[Lumaza]

Lumaza, after I read that back to myself it was hard to understand what I was saying. You see what you need to see to make the change you need to make. It's always something of a sensitive nature, because it needs to be personal and ground breaking to break whatever cycle you need to break to make what ever change you need to make. Just so glad I found myself through those bad times. Like I said this place was an instrument in saving my life.

I find it helpful to re-read my past posts too. Sometimes the answers to my question at the time can be found in those words. Other times I need to edit some kind of typo, lol! 

My grammar isn't the best as well. I really do dislike typing. That's why my posts here on this Forum are short and "right to the point".      

"The best advise I ever received about ap a read here. It was about allowing it to happen and to stop trying so damned hard. The love and the being can't be disrupted by the trying. I am young and I got a get up and hurry in me and catch myself rushing things that I shouldn't, and often. Wow, this is a breath of fresh air."

Many of our newer members are "anxious" for results. You will find that that word "allow" will quickly become your friend!  

[Nameless]

Dark, once again I have thoroughly enjoyed your account and your enthusiasm. Yes you are young but us old heads need a little 'spring chicken' amongst us to remind us how it felt so thank you for all your charm. The conversations here may not be as abundant as in the past but it's amazing how many of those of the past are being replaced/added to by a much more mature audience (age aside).

I know this small core group of us here really love interacting with new people. It may seem sometimes like no one is here but such is life so we all just respect that and know the others will pop in when they can or will.

Start any topic you want, even if it's something that may have already been discussed in the past. You may have a new way of looking at things or we may find some new meaning.  So right what Lumaza said about the word allow becoming your friend. Sounds so so easy doesn't it?