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I feel as though I dont belong...

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goingslow

quote:
Originally posted by auraseer



I also have a feeling of a great power source inside of me. My friend has had dreams of demons attacking earth with me blasting everything with energy and saving everybody. He says that he sensed this energy inside me from when he first met me. He says I am the chosen one.



James.



isnt it obvious.. you are the chosen one.. therefore you are different.  Though im sure you already figured that out.

Nate


It's called being a teenager. It takes a while to ware off. I'm twenty and I still have the occasional relapse. My advice is to keep going to high school. It's a good way to combat the teenage ego.

Although if you do turn out to the chosen one I give you permission to say I told you so till you're blue in the face. taaaa!!

-Nate

cainam_nazier

Are you sure it is a feeling of not being in the right place?  Could it be more a feeling of not doing the correct thing?

One of the things that may help you a lot in this would be to find a hobby.  Not one that is just for you but one you can share with other people.  Find something that you really enjoy doing and see if there is a local club or some thing to that effect that you could join.  You will end up finding more people like yourself.

But the best piece of advise I can think of right now would to not let this feeling of being different alienate you from people of your own age group.  You may be different but that does not mean you need to sculk off on your own and be a hermit.  You need to interact with as many people as you can.  Again you will end up finding some one much like yourself.  They say every one has a double some where in the world.

Tarconiss

It certainly is interesting to feel like you do James[auraseer]. I know what it feels like to wonder, if your human, or why your here... I started to feel like that when i was....10 ish.... rather early in life... but still, the feeling was there.. I've been told by a lot of people that i have some sort of 'presense' along with me that makes them feel as if im more mature, and older than i really am.... and this is by people who would scoff at the paranormal. But by my friends who are experienced in metaphysics, and who are sensitive to energy, say that i have a huge amount of energy aswell. I think someone has even called me a chosen one at some point or another.... but still... even with that.... I lead on my life because, its what is going on right now, and i want to be as great as i can be, in all the things i do, and i want to learn as much as i can about everything, that i can..... yeah it sounds nieve, but thats truely how i feel.

Don't let those thoughts, bother you too much..... just let them slide by, and know that they are there... let it be a reason why you SHOULD go out into the world and be as great as you can be.. once you learn to understand more things about life, you'll begin to feel more comfortable about things. Just, don't let your thoughts drag you down, and you should be alright. From what i've seen you talk about with things, i know your a smart kid, just trying to prove things, that you know... Just know your boundries, and the boundries of others, and you will be able to act accordingly, and be more settled with your existance.

I hope i was able to help. Best of luck with what you find true. If there are things that you'd like to talk about... go ahead man. Thats one of the reasons that I'm still alive.... to help the people i know.
If someone has the knowledge, and wants to do something, how far do you think they can go, if they lack the experience, and are unable to sustain the amount of effort needed to succeed?  ~ Self 2/25/2003

kakkarot

was there anyone besides you in that dream? maybe it's that you are just A chosen one :) . or perhaps it's just the normal teenager thing.

~kakkarot

jilola

Sounds like the feeling I get when I'm supposed to "get" something and the universe is trying to wake me up.
Perhaps you are near a transformation/breakthrough/realization but something is holding you back thus creating an imbalance that makes you feel this way?

2cents & L&L
jouni

Nob

auraseer, since when were you supposed to belong? It seems you believe you are something you are not.

Chamos

[|)]Auraseer, I think this generation has been filled with people who need to fight in the future, to combat with how far the human race has degenerated itself. The Hawaiians used to be perfectly at peace with each other and nature, though the incest thing did screw up the future generations, then christianity came and made them rethink their whole outlook on life. I'm not saying christianity is bad, just that it was forced on these people and the race basically killed itself because they all got the measles and couldn't handle it like the settlers could.

Then there was the things with the witchhunts, people would be killed just because their neighbors wanted their property and items so were falsely accused of being witches.

The human race has degenerated in on itself soo much that the higher powers would have to create great fighters in these new generations to help when the race finally does go to hell.

I mean, my 2 year old nephew rolls his eyes up into his head, raises his arms into the air and shakes to freak my sister out by making her think he's going into a seizure. And he smiles throughout the whole thing, something is definately up with the future generations.

Me myself, I've been doing wicca for as long as I can remember, without the rituals and spells that everyother wiccan claims everyone needs for things that sometimes don't even work, but I don't remember, anything else at all. I take nearly a minute to remember my age, birthday. I've screwed up the alphabet more times than I care to count. I don't know who anyone in my family is except my imediate family. I don't know most of the people I sit next to in class, I don't even remember half the things I learn, but I get A's on every test, not perfect scores but close enough, and don't need to study. That's been going on since elementary school where I got F's in all of my classes, and A's on all my tests.

The only things that I do seem to remember are tortures, other worlds, a hella lotta pain, demons, bloody wars and numerous ways to kill people that I've never met. I've been a witness for my own murder. Been kidnapped and locked in a greenhouse because my kidnapper was a twisted rapist. I've fought Medusa's imortal sisters. I've ran from evil looking women with possessed... things, with them. I've been raped by people who my mind said I knew but I've never met.   These things have never happened to me but I have the memories, the pain, everything. Ghosts have come up to me and claimed to be my children.

I've been a very violent person for most of my life, though I control it, I have painful memories and very few good ones. I played alone when I was 3 years odl and rarely make friends because I like to be alone as too many people have hurt me in life.

When I was 4 years old I had a nightmare that I was lost in this huge city that was completely deserted, I was completely alone and didn't know what to do. What kinda thing is that for a 4 year old to go through? I've had dreams at 7 years old where I was sitting with my friends and worms and maggots were eating holes in our skin and since then I can't stand worms, maggots, larva, anything like that. I remember when I was six that a large blue spider with weird designs on it's back fell on my hand when I was in mom and dad's room. I still have a scar from that meeting but I also remember mom and dad saying there was nothing there, that it would be hard to miss a spider that big if they did see it. It seems that the things that were important to me I remember but no one else does, and the smaller things that my parents claim happened I can't remember. There was also a place I remember visiting alot in my dreams. I called it the Wishing Door because that's what it was. I'd tell it what I wanted, close the door, and it'd be there. I'd have it the next day. I stopped having access to it when I was in second grade and never have been able to go there since.

Maybe it's not a "chosen one" thing like the Golden Child or Stephen King's novels on the End of the World. Maybe You were chosen to be general over the fighters of the human race and our future, think about it. Hopefully my experiences don't mean I'm one of those demons you have to face, I'd hate to be controlled by something that wants to take over the world.
Y'think y'know what Cruelty be, til' ye finally get t'meet her. Yet worse than cruelty is, indeed... St. Evil, her belov'd sister. You may call me Truth. Some people just can't handle me. - Me

The economy is depressed My Lord.
So cheer it the f*ck up!

auraseer

Hi,
Ok....Thanks...for that...[|)]

Thanks for the advice, ill join a club when I find one that I like.

My friend has started to feel my power increse dramatically when in mind training in class. As soon as I power up in my mind he turns around and says something like "i felt that...".

And I am also starting to get telepathic. When I direct my thoughts to my family/friends, they answer the question I was asking. It happens rarely, but its better than nothing [;)]. This might be dure to the chakra work ive been doing.

Cya,
James.

kakkarot

sorry to be a bit insistent, but i really would like to know if there were other people in your friend's dream than just yourself.

~kakkarot

James S

Hi James,

I've often felt like I don't belong on this earth. For as long as I can remember I've had memories, or more like sudden flashes of another time, another world, and I really do feel like that is my home. What I do believe however, is even though I don't feel like this world is my home, I'm here for a good reason, so I live my life like I'm meant to be here. Haven't found the reason yet, but that doesn't matter.  Besides that, I like to get as much enjoyment as I can out of life, and I wouldn't be able to do that if I was often wondering about wether I should be here or not.

James.

gerble king

Auraseer, I'll be blunt because others don't seem to want to be.  And I am doing this because i've been in your shoes.  Stop seeking outside attention and love yourself.  You are special, but so is everyone else, just as special as you think you are, even people without your "powers."  I see alot of your posts and they seem to be a cry for help, you feel lonely and unimportant so you seek out attention from outside sources by procliaming your greatness, in an intentionally humble way.  Again, just love yourself for who you are.  I will probably get flamed for be insensitive, but I feel being direct and honest with people is beneficial for both sides.  Grow as a person, and become emmotionally self independant.

auraseer

Hi,
Lol...I have lots of friends and feel really happy with my life, so I'm not lonely.

kakkarot: I'm not sure. I think there was my friend who also practices Ki, but he died helping me (I think).

Cya,
James.
P.S. Oh yeah, kakkarot, I posted your really long essay on 'power' on my site.

kakkarot

thanks auraseer.

again, out of curiosity, are you or your friend christians?

~kakkarot

goingslow

quote:
Originally posted by gerble king

Auraseer, I'll be blunt because others don't seem to want to be.  And I am doing this because i've been in your shoes.  Stop seeking outside attention and love yourself.  You are special, but so is everyone else, just as special as you think you are, even people without your "powers."  I see alot of your posts and they seem to be a cry for help, you feel lonely and unimportant so you seek out attention from outside sources by procliaming your greatness, in an intentionally humble way.  Again, just love yourself for who you are.  I will probably get flamed for be insensitive, but I feel being direct and honest with people is beneficial for both sides.  Grow as a person, and become emmotionally self independant.



I personally think theres nothing wrong with being direct and honest.  I think auraseer wants to believe hes the chosen one.  everyone goes through that in some way at that age.  Everyone wants to think their "powers" are special and they're the one chosen by god.

Its the theme of almost every good movie.  I dont think anyones helping anyone by telling them "maybe you are the chosen one" maybe you're the one thats gonna fight all evil.  I dont see why people have to be fake.. its not doing anyone any good.

Celeste

Hi Auraseer
 I don't doubt that you are very special Auraseer & our world needs individuals such as yourself. The important thing is to develop all parts of our being so we have balance of all the aspects in order to reach the highest levels.
Feeling special/different is natural--feeling like we are the 'chosen' one can be a pitfall on the spiritual path. As people grow spiritually, certain abilities develop as a natural side-effect of raising the kundalini. They are called Siddhis.

 There is a common teaching story where the initiate has been fasting & meditating for yrs and suddenly experiences an exulted state . He runs to tell his guru ecstaticly that he has developed many psychic powers. The Guru smiles and tells them not to worry "go back and meditate & it will go away!" The pt being that developing these abilities are not supposed to be the goal & in fact if that happens they can stop our progress as well as lead problems.

 Today it seems more than ever some people have come to this planet with abilities that they developed in past lives & therefore seem to come quickly & easily in this life--no biggy. The danger is in losing ones way by developing powers before we have purified our chakras--it is the classic temptation along the way. It's cautioned in all the teachings as it can eventually lead to self-delusions & prevent our progress. Fight your own demons first. Become pure-hearted first. It is nice to have a supportive friend that believes in you! That is a wonderful gift. Stay grounded too.

In times past the initiate would study with a Master who would know exactly what was going on with their student & help them to keep their ego in check & teach them humility.  All the Great Spiritual Paths admonish the devotee to first and foremost--Purify their ego, cultivate humility,compassion, and the desire serve the greater good. The Spiritual Masters taught moral development first for a reason. Right now I see a lot of people who are developing abilities and are without any connection to a moral/spiritual code--a lot of people with some hard lessons ahead.  The Buddhists practise loving-kindness meditation. Seek wisdom always.
Celeste

Squeek

[:P] I never felt that way.  How can you be the best when there is ALWAYS someone out there better than you.  There really is only ONE thing we all are the best at, and that's being you. (and im losing that competition too).

However...

I will be the best programmer in existance.  But that's not for a couple of years...Gotta take AP computer science next year, then some college courses after that.  Then i will own the industry  :)

Tom

Here is a better question: Does anyone here feel as though they do fit in correctly with the world around us? If so, how does it feel to be in complete harmony with the universe? Is there any motivation to set goals or make plans?

jilola

I don't really feel a sense of belonging. II used to think it bad and wanted it gone but then I thought about what I am and what the rest of things are and decided that when I try to be what I'm not or trying to achieve somethingtoo hard the feeing gets worse. So I decided, or more ike it had a whatsit... epiphany?..., and realized that that is exactly what I shouldn't be doing.

The thing is that whatever we are, feel, and want we must not let them become the center of our existence.
When that happens we feel stress, misery etc.
Something like avoiding attache(?)ment kind of thing. It's ok to feel bad, feel good, want things, not want some other, but when one get al hung up on these trouble starts.


2cents & L&L
jouni

cainam_nazier

As far as not fitting in with the world around me...humm...I have had this feeling.  But I think it is because I am more in tune with my surroundings than most.  This creates a feeling of being different...out of place.

Then of course there is the every so often that I should have lived this life 500 years ago.  But maybe that is just a past life surfacing.

kakkarot

"Does anyone here feel as though they do fit in correctly with the world around us? If so, how does it feel to be in complete harmony with the universe? Is there any motivation to set goals or make plans?" i had felt that way at one point, not that i fit in with humankind, but that i fit into the universe. i felt at ease, with no longing, no desire. there was no need ot set goals or make plans because my soul was at ease, and what goal or plan could possibly make me feel better than that.

then the feeling went away. dang. oh well.

~kakkarot

pod3

Take a hint from the way you feel after the best night of sleep you've ever had; balanced people always have a sense of being in their own element. Anything else is not natural.

Furthermore, if you are so sure of yourself, what would it benefit anyone to appeal to your ego? Something is just telling you what you want to hear.

Are you using your abilities in a way that compromises ANYTHING  worthwhile, insted of incorporating them into your normal ideals? That is a surefire way to attract this sort of attention. In things we enjoy, we were born given plenty to work with.

Fat_Turkey

Hey.

I'm going to be a bit blunt at first and then I'll theorise to soften the blow.

Firstly, the bluntness. Get over yourself. Comprehend your abilities rather than act as if they are god-given gifts for you to save the world. No single human could save the world. Period.

And now, the theories[:)]. This is most likely ego. Whenever I get into religious theory or I'm depressed I start to lean towards the "chosen one" complex. It's just a normal teenage thing. But also, a LOT of people have had dreams like this. I see myself with a hell of a lot of people I don't know, but yet I do. Some witchcraft, some ki practitioners, and all metaphysical practitioners. We're standing in a deserted city and some huge massive creature rises out of the ground and we all attack. Of course I'm older in these dreams but of course it's probably my ego.

But hey, time will tell. Maybe some day we'll all be lined up for war. Those enlightened to those who we try to make understand.

I tend not to dwell on this subject tho, too much energy work to be done.

Later
-FT
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
-Anonymous

No amount of rigorous training, sitting and doing nothing, and clearing one's mind can help a man who hasn't overcome his doubts.

kakkarot

"But hey, time will tell. Maybe some day we'll all be lined up for war". yes, time will tell.

so it is better to doubt that you are the chosen one, but still train as though you were. that way, you gain skills that can make life incredibly easy, as well as experiencing new wonders and learning and understanding more, while still preparing just in case a war does come.

doubt there's a war, but prepare for it anyways: that's what i'm doing.

~kakkarot

jason

I can relate to this:only those who are powerless purposefully seek power for it's own sake.I think it is important not too get caught up in the overly romantisized view of mental expansion,and self knowledge-it can quickly become self indulgent,and act as a cover for a depressed state of mind.
 exploring ki,and astral projection,etc, should be about seeking truth and knowledge for the betterment of ourselves and everyone,not about a delusional cover for depression.
 it comes down to self love and acceptance of imperfection.just be at peace in the chaos knowing that we are all imperfect, and we are all on a journey to perfection.don't get me wrong however,thinking that I don't believe in your talents.
 your talents can be a very powerful force for  the betterment of mankind,and helping others is the best way to build self love and self confidence.
The musical conciousness is mind beneath the sun.