Bad experiences, and Overcoming.

[Daleet]

So... a few years back i was avidly trying to astral project.

with about 5 months of work i ended up getting one conscious exit projection which lasted about 30 seconds, while i explored my astral house.

Anyways, on the path to projection i ended up having some nightmare'ish, (shocking, Crazy,cant think of a word that will do justice) Dreams and False awakenings. Stuff i was definitely not ready for.

just to open a little insight to what i experienced...

I lay down to astral project, after doing some energy work, and sitting in trance state for god knows how long, i decide to just go to sleep. Shortly after i woke up to the sound of screaming. Or at least i thought i had really woken up, it ended up being a false awakening.

Anyway, in this false awakening i got up because i heard screaming. i walk downstairs and there is the sound of Hell coming from my dads office. I mean the sound of Hell, It was like chainsaws, Trains, screaming of souls(like in movies), Chains rattling etc...

i froze, and then my mom walked out of the room, with black eyes, a possessed look on her face, her jaw dropped open like 8 inches, and it sounded as if the thousand people screaming were all coming from her. after the screaming for a couple seconds, she disappeared, but i still faintly heard the sound.

Shortly after this I woke up from the nightmare... to another false awakening.

This time i thought i had REALLY woken up, but i hadn't. I 'jolt' awake in my bed gasping for air. And i look around my room and where my computer desk chair had been, My mom was sticking through the floor, Just her upper torso, with her head craned back unhumanly, and her jaw open staring at the ceiling, completely silent.

After the first split second of shock hit me, i woke up to the real world, immediately rolled off of my bed and threw up. i was nauseous, dizzy and my vision was blurry for a good minute or so.

Now, for a long while after this happened i pondered, as frued would have, what the implication of my mother in such a fashion meant to about my emotions, my subconcious etc...

I have the best relationship in the world with my mother, And there are no ill feelings between us.

This happened over 2 years ago, and since then i havnt attempted to project. Any thoughts to help me clear my mind, any advice, anything to meditate on, or any motivation/something happy to think about Will be greatly appreciated.

And thank you for reading this long winded post.

[bl200sx]

Yes, it just sounds like some wild nightmare's that you had experienced with your mother in some obscure and crazy situations, don't let it bother you at all.

Good luck, I hope you project soon! 

[Zante]

The first thing I did after consciously projecting was to promise myself that I would confront the worst that could happen. This is the realm of the taboo, I created terrifying scenarios in an attempt to desensitize myself to them. Isn't it fantastic that something out there knows how to push all of our buttons. The entire spectrum, ecstasy to terror. Where should we be on that scale?

People often seek out emotional highs but expose themselves to the complete opposite. It's incredible, you change so much. Years later we're tested again except this time we're prepared and pass with flying colours. 'Don't react', so easy to say but not to do. When you next experience anything like this you'll be so much more balanced. Watch it carefully and look for the source of it, when you find it try to communicate with it and watch what happens. It's not the images and sounds you need to focus on.

[Daleet]

Thank you Zante

I think thats what i needed to hear. That in trying to project for an emotional high, personal gain essentially, i was pushed to the opposite. and at that time in my life i wasnt prepared to deal with it.

You too 200sx, since i know it wasnt a projection, it was, therefore, a nightmare.

Honestly i think it helped to have written it out and think about it in a literal manner, unconnected to the emotion.

Head is a little rambled right now. But thank you for the responses.

[Zante]

Regarding self improvement (rather than personal gain), I don't see anything wrong with it. The reason I moved into this was so I could truly explore myself and my thoughts, 'improving' myself in the process. My first projection damaged me very badly, leaving me very depressed and with a feeling of extreme vertigo which lasted about a month. That experience 'configured me', giving me time for reflection and making a decision regarding my priorities in life.