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Author Topic: My little boy is scared to go to sleep, 1 and a half.  (Read 2444 times)
WhoDaHell
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« on: March 27, 2015, 09:42:05 »

I know this may not quite fit into this forum but my little boy has been scared in his room at night time. Without even falling asleep he will sit in his bed when the lights go out and cry and point at different areas of his room. I sit with him and tell him to give them love and we blow kisses and wave goodnight to whatever he is seeing. Any ideas on what I could do to help him more? He's starting to not want to go in his room at night time period. Even though I do successfully calm him down and get him to sleep, usually falling asleep with him haha. When I was younger I had night terrors and saw terrifying things all the time, I think he may be experiencing similar things and I would like to help him in a way that does not limit his consciousness.

Sorry I am new perhaps someone could direct this post to the correct place!
« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 09:43:48 by WhoDaHell » Logged
Kzaal
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« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2015, 11:28:26 »

Nightmares and anything can scare a children at night, it's even worse if the lights are always off.
For some people it's just better to keep the lights on. Even if he doesn't speak much, or understand much yet, even a baby can make the link between light=good, darkness=demons or whatever he's seeing.
You can just put a little light and it should be fine.
I've never slept well in the darkness. Noises seems amplified, I always feel like I'm being watched. For some people it never goes away, I'm 26 and I still sleep with the big light on, that and I feel closer to the light while sleeping, I feel protected even if I know there's nothing to fear, I don't like going to sleep feeling at the mercy of the darkness.
But remember it's normal at that age that they wake up at night with nightmares or to be fed. Don't worry too much but if you see that he's sleeping better with the lights on, then keep them on.
Remember there's no difference in the rest we get between the lights off and the lights on.

On my part, I've never understood why parents always think that we can't get no sleep if the lights are on... When I was a kid, my mom always told me to close my light but I've always slept better when it was on.

If he's tired, he'll sleep.
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« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2015, 11:28:26 »

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WhoDaHell
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« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2015, 11:57:34 »

Thank you Kzaal,

I always believed that you didn't sleep properly with the lights on! Going to do some more research in that department but for now I will definitely be leaving his rock salt lamp on all night!

I always thought having the light on all night suppressed melatonin levels and increased cortisol levels which can bring about negative effects.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 12:02:39 by WhoDaHell » Logged
Stillwater
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« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2015, 13:01:24 »

Quote
On my part, I've never understood why parents always think that we can't get no sleep if the lights are on

Has to do with the way our neurotransmitters react to light.

When we are still in high light levels, our brains are basically saying... ok, must still be day, hold off on making that melatonin; then when they are off, the opposite happens, and we get the neurotransmitters meant for sleep. Basically just the method evolution gave us so that we sleep at night and don't waste the daylight. Eventually with enough effort you can circumvent this natural order your body has, and it will adjust, but you are going against the way it is normally wired to think, so there is resistance.

Quote
I know this may not quite fit into this forum but my little boy has been scared in his room at night time. Without even falling asleep he will sit in his bed when the lights go out and cry and point at different areas of his room. I sit with him and tell him to give them love and we blow kisses and wave goodnight to whatever he is seeing. Any ideas on what I could do to help him more? He's starting to not want to go in his room at night time period. Even though I do successfully calm him down and get him to sleep, usually falling asleep with him haha. When I was younger I had night terrors and saw terrifying things all the time, I think he may be experiencing similar things and I would like to help him in a way that does not limit his consciousness.

Sorry I am new perhaps someone could direct this post to the correct place!

He is a year and a half old. He could see literally anything at that age and it wouldn't be abnormal or worrisome. Children at that age are in a very hazy place... their brain chemistry is very strange compared to an adult, and their sleeping and waking states are far more similar.

What they see in their environment and what they picture in their minds are completely indistinguishable. Their imagined fears manifest to them in a way they can't ignore. Picture if every movie character you ever saw inhabited your waking reality with you. That is what it is like to be one year old. Every bad thing that happens to him or he sees will revisit his imagination. People like to point out how imaginative children are, as though it is a skill they have like playing a musical instrument. At that age, it is his reality too.

When you try to comfort him, keep that in mind- his fears are immediate and completely manifest in front of him. Assure him that you will not let anything harm him. I think you probably have a good approach already... keep planting the suggestion that his fears won't harm him and he has power over them too.

Very young children feel vulnerable and they want very much to grow up, because they want the safety of being bigger, as well as the freedom. Appealing to that drive is another approach parents use, and urging him to take charge of the situation like you have been doing is empowering to him.
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Szaxx
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« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2015, 13:19:35 »

I've had 4 young ones to bring up and now my granddaughter is added to this. A nightlight solves the problem in most cases, pictures of things they like are also a help. We decorated the nursery walls with a mural that they 'helped' to paint and this sorted out the sleep problems with two of the little ones.
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« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2015, 13:19:35 »



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WhoDaHell
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« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2015, 02:50:13 »

Stillwater,

Thanks for the informative reply!
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seth_w
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« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2015, 04:01:02 »

What I used to do is plug my lamp into a timer and after an hour or so it would turn the light off, that way I could fall asleep with the light on and then still have the benefits of sleeping in complete darkness.
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desert-rat
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« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2015, 21:39:10 »

I sleep with a radio on .  As I am an a adult , and not scared  of ghosts , I just got usted to having a radio on . Coast to coast is what I listen to , for a kid you might try some soft music , ect.
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/     
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WhoDaHell
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« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2015, 22:08:48 »

I like the timer idea as he falls asleep much better with the light on but then he wakes up often if I leave it on, maybe i will rig up a sensor that turns it on when he makes a sound and turns off on a timer so he can fall asleep with it on and wake up with it on but not sleep with it on. Definitely seems to be the darkness that is worrying him.
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