Losing interest in your lover..

[missym]

Has anybody found that after starting to practice energy work - meditation, AP, Lucid dreaming - That they are becoming less and less interested in their lover, or wanting somebody who is more metaphysically interested/spiritually connected?
Or somebody who can 'go' on journeys with them, instead of having no idea what you're talking about and having no interest to learn ?

I feel really selfish for asking this.. 

[mon9999]

I can always reflect on this!

Metaphysical relationships are often guided by the need to find a person to share one's journey into awareness. The down side is, most people who study metaphysics are healing issues, still have ego and emotional problems and are not often capable of sustaining a long term relationship. They are in fact, transition people. so please don't deceive yourself. Don't fantasize that someone is into you because of the energy work they do. You will be disappointed.

Look before you leap, as you would if the person was not on a spiritual journey, because their baggage is not left at the door just because they meditate, do yoga, work on themselves, do energy work, heal, etc. To be disappointed by the person you think understands you as no other has before, but then leaves to experience with someone new, can be more crushing than splitting up with any other partner. This could be someone you gave your body, mind and soul to, in what you believed would be a permanent committed relationship, that ended badly. Was it worth it? How long will the healing take? What did you learn?

When it comes to the heart, we are an unpredictable race. Change is everywhere. If you are a co-dependent person, you best be careful before giving your power, love, time energy or money to another, especially if the have mood swings or substance abuse problems. Many metaphysical people are just looking for someone to support them while they stay at home and play metaphysics.

The journey of the emotional heart can be painful, yet we seek a soul and love connection, someone who makes us feel complete and is there for us, no matter what.

Our mission, is only about the self, finding oneself and remembering the nature of reality. We come in alone and we leave alone.

Most people who understand and love unconditionally, don't need to study metaphysics. It is the way they live their lives. They give, yet do not allow themselves to be taken advantage of. They are not victims. They do not have emotional problems, or solve the ones they have based on their genetic code. All of reality is genetic codes. They find balance. Giving without balancing leads to internal disharmony, disease and death.

Being in metaphysics does not make you a good partner. It just means you have found a new avenue to work out your emotional dramas. People not only have baggage, they have truck loads full of misinformation, ego and self-esteem issues. Metaphysics is about healing to create balance and help others. You open your heart and believe that the person you meet, who is of like mind at that time, will be The One who will stay forever. This is not necessarily true. They are just their to open your heart, but also to help your discover who you are and what you have to do to find inner peace.

Do not let this lover lead you into a path that is not comfortable for you. If you are evolving, your instincts and the synchronicities you attract, will tell you to be careful. Pay attention.

Metaphysics can be a higher frequency road, but it is still played in the realm of the physical.

Each year as thousands of people evolve to higher consciousness, there are more opportunities for your soul to find another suitable partner. Be sure all is in balance, especially your motivations for being with this person. Did you give more than your partner? Did they state that they have issues with commitment and are not monogamous? Please listen and pay attention with your head, not just your heart!

A relationship with a metaphysical partner can be very rewarding if you remember to look at the total picture of the person. The more functional you and the partner are, the better the changes it will last. Or ... just enjoy the moment and move on.


source: crystalinks.com

[CFTraveler]

Good answer mon.
I'm old enough to have seen this happen to many people in different stages in their lives- They think they're soul mates because they like the same things, read the same books or other things like that, and after a while find that those are simply outward things, and eventually find they had no real basis for their relationship.
This applies to almost everything, and in all walks of life.
Metaphysics is no different- I've met people who leave their partners for someone who shares the same beliefs, and when it doesn't work for them they end up worse than enemies- rivals for 'enlightenment', or however they view their ideas.

If I were going to give advice on this, is- be with who makes you feel like you can't live without them, and if it goes south, then it was just not 'it'.  The thing about 'soul mates' is that they grow together, and not necessarily towards the same things- sometimes growth takes them to different 'places/ideas' but if they still love and respect each other despite this, then they are really 'soul mates', and not just people dependent on other people to validate them, their ideals, or their beliefs.

Sure, it's more comfortable to be with someone who values how you think, and it can be part of a successful package, but it's no guarantee of success, because ideas change as people grow, and people are always growing, whether they want to or not.

[missym]

Thank you for the replies, they make so much sense!

I asked because this is such a big part of who I am; what I do. I don't want to be in a relationship where the other person thinks I'm crazy, which I fear(KNOW) may happen if I tell him what I practice.

[bondgirl3007]

Hey M-

I began sharing my experiences with my husband when they first started about 3 years ago. At first, he didn't really know what to say. He thought it was weird. Gradually, because it is such a part of my life, he has gotten used to it. He likes to hear about my adventures, and asks me some mornings if I appear tired, "Did you even sleep, or were you out flying around all night?"

My point is, you never know how he will respond. He might be really intrigued like my husband was, and maybe you can bring this knowledge into his life. Maybe give it a try!

[CFTraveler]

Since I've had all kinds of things happening to me since I was very young, my husband already knew some of the things that happened around me.  When I met him he was an extremely 'grounded' person, and I actually liked that about him- his presence  kept me balanced, and I'm sure that I supplied some 'flakiness' to his life.  As time went on, things started happening around him, some 'interesting', some not so great- and luckily it wasn't a source of trauma to him, because chances were, I'd either seen it, or had read about it.
As time went on even more, even though we are radically different people, we have grown to more fully accept each other- him more than me, I might add- and our belief systems have actually grown towards the 'same', as the years have gone by.
Does that mean that we'll be together forever?  I don't know, I'm not that easy to live with (as some of you probably know, lol), but I hope so.

[Skyalmian]

All things existing as "Vibration", or sound / frequency, the more you change within and thus change your vibration, and they don't, the wider the canyon between you and everyone else becomes. Two people who are friends or partners are close together on what Frequencies they emit, and when one changes but the other doesn't, that person has to leave or the sudden distance and divide will become too unbearable to handle. You switched to a different radio station, and they didn't...

most people who study metaphysics are healing issues, still have ego and emotional problems and are not often capable of sustaining a long term relationship. They are in fact, transition people. so please don't deceive yourself.

Because we're in a near-constant state of change and chaos. Energetic instability.

[CFTraveler]

Two people who are friends or partners are close together on what Frequencies they emit, and when one changes but the other doesn't, that person has to leave or the sudden distance and divide will become too unbearable to handle. You switched to a different radio station, and they didn't...
...

I feel I have to disagree with this- everyone is in a state of change, all the time.  You don't grow and the other person doesn't- it just seems that way when the changes are not in the same direction.  Perspective is an interesting thing.

[Skyalmian]

Errr, thank you for the clarification. Ya, I meant when they're in different directions, hence my "canyon" analogy...

[mon9999]

when it comes to finding a partner the most important for me is open-mindedness as it bridge the gap between your beliefs.

[missym]

when it comes to finding a partner the most important for me is open-mindedness as it bridge the gap between your beliefs.

Open-mindedness..
That makes so much sense. I don't necessarily have to be with somebody who practices what I do, but at least somebody who won't judge or ridicule me. And if that's who he is then it was never meant to be I guess.

[lonecrow66]

That is one reason why I waited til I was 35 to get married to the right one who was into all this craziness!!  We meditate together in bed every night!

[omcasey]

I waited till 35 and then became a brahmacarin 

Ten years of pure peace..

[T.L.]

My wife is completely non-interested, besides she is so afraid of death that if I even say anything that refers to it she just shuts down or says she doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't think I am crazy at least she hasn't said she did. But when she looked at me weird when I first told her I did point out she believes in an invisible man who created the planet with magic and controls everyone's lives, so in comparison what I experience is slightly less crazy then her beliefs. Im not less interested in her because of it but it is frustrating because who else wouldnt want to know that you can do something like this and how to do it, it would be something interesting to share indeed.

[missym]

because who else wouldnt want to know that you can do something like this and how to do it, it would be something interesting to share indeed.

My sentiments exactly,
I would love to discuss AP with other people, and talk directly with them, listen to their experiences, etc. and be able to have a deep, meaningful conversation about everything like this. But whenever I try to confide in anybody or tell them anything, they think I'm crazy and show that they are obviously not interested.

[personalreality]

I think I was lucky in this regard.  Not only does my fiancee not ridicule me, she's even interested in learning herself.  She doesn't really have time though.  Well she does, but she has her priorities in a different order. 

I did have a close friend once who I thought was something like a soul-mate.  But as we both grew we moved in different directions and I just didn't find myself terribly interested in his company anymore.  Again though, I was lucky that he was also a person training for enlightenment and understood when I had to move on.  No grudges.  That's the hard part, when the other person is consumed by ego and takes your growth as a personal attack.  They can get pretty defensive and mean sometimes. 

[Aras]

At least we have this board to share our experiences with especially if our partners aren't into 'it'.