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dealing with preachers

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Mustardseed

Well then maybe we should define this guys behaviour first. You call it "pushing" his beliefs, I would call it sharing his experiences. others call it other things. Maybe it is your inate stubbornness and you have every right to behave in any way you choose but I think that you will also admit that you will have to pay the price and suffer the consequences. How about a child who is trying hard to sell cookies or something, is it also permitted to "swat" such pests. In my world the two are very alike. How about marriges where one feels unjustly agressed against by a mate "pushing" his/her trip . Where does it stop. Is it our right to swat anyone we "in our infinite wisdom" precieve to be pushy , or is it better to be patient loving kind and ofcourse straight talk. I think that those who choose the path of agression an eye for an eye will suffer for it themselves. This is in my opinion true in life, in love ,and in any human relation even in traffic. A soft answer turns away wrath and who knows maybe that person can be helped guided or loved through it and realise that his approach is not well recieved.
Regards
Mustardseed
Words.....there was a time when I believed in words!

Randøm_

quote:
Originally posted by Mustardseed

Well then maybe we should define this guys behaviour first. You call it "pushing" his beliefs, I would call it sharing his experiences. others call it other things.


An unwelcomed "sharing" in a manner that is intimidating (the exact behaviour discussed initially) is "pushing" one's beliefs. I honestly fail to see any other interpretation, but I'll take you on your word.


quote:
Maybe it is your inate stubbornness and you have every right to behave in any way you choose but I think that you will also admit that you will have to pay the price and suffer the consequences.


That was an odd statement. Yes, I have every right to maintain my peace of mind, and no one should try to assume the right to deprive me of that. I'm uncertain of the "consequences" of which you speak. Since, to me, peace of mind and light entertainment are good things and have no downside ... do you mean "damnation" or something as a consequence? If that's the case, then, no, I fear no consequences. I turned away from such mythology based on my beliefs.


quote:
How about a child who is trying hard to sell cookies or something, is it also permitted to "swat" such pests.


Not at all, for the said child will go away when you say "no thank you", pushy preachers don't. (Note I keep using the word "push" because non aggressive disciples don't intrude on people.)

quote:
In my world the two are very alike. How about marriges where one feels unjustly agressed against by a mate "pushing" his/her trip .


A marriage is not an unwelcomed intrusion, there is that little ritual where both parties say "I do".


quote:
Where does it stop. Is it our right to swat anyone we "in our infinite wisdom" precieve to be pushy , or is it better to be patient loving kind and ofcourse straight talk.


I don't question the courtesy of your preference, but I fail to see the mentioned examples as even comparable to the pushy converter. So, it stops at people forcing themselves upon another and pester. Patience with such strikes me as passive, for I would not be enjoying the company nor pleased to reward that behaviour with an open ear. The last thing I wish to do is encourage such behaviour.


quote:

I think that those who choose the path of agression an eye for an eye will suffer for it themselves.


Since this primarily seems as a rebuttal to my comment, I'll take it you infer my "kissing of my pentacle" or telling someone I worship the Great Clock Spider to be aggression. I'm sorry you see what I believe is clear-cut assertiveness as aggression. I'm not the nicest person in this forum, nor do I wish to be. I treat people on the basis of intention and effect. I live in New Orleans (U.S. ... though my profile says Canada) and would waste a significant portion of my daily life if I were to coddle every fanatic/scam artist/aggressor I encounter. It's a constant nuisance and I could either get frustrated or handle it as I do. I choose the latter. :)


quote:

This is in my opinion true in life, in love ,and in any human relation even in traffic. A soft answer turns away wrath and who knows maybe that person can be helped guided or loved through it and realise that his approach is not well recieved.



You're one of those "nicer" than am I. Throughout history people were slaughtered in the name of one man's god or another. Sound reasoning of a fanatical mind is a possibility, as is lightning striking me before I post this message (but neither are likely). I treat all things according to my spectrum of feasible possibilities. This is why I treat pushy people as I do, and I don't talk to chairs or discuss calculus with a newborn child.

I sincerely hope not to come across in this message as being abrasive, for that is most definitely not my intention. I still adhere to my choice and principles completley. In conclusion, I think we may just have to agree to disagree.

Mustardseed


An unwelcomed "sharing" in a manner that is intimidating (the exact behaviour discussed initially) is "pushing" one's beliefs. I honestly fail to see any other interpretation, but I'll take you on your word.
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Answer :Well thats OK then, as your interpretation is set as being a hostile act you then "retaliate" as you do. I dont count it agression but rather enjoy listening to someone who has it "all figured out" it dosnt bother me and I personally like to ask questions and debate and so on so ...to each his own. The problem that started the thread was that the "victim" was not really sure what he was feeling and though leaning towards it as being an intrusion he still felt strangely attracted.
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That was an odd statement. Yes, I have every right to maintain my peace of mind, and no one should try to assume the right to deprive me of that. I'm uncertain of the "consequences" of which you speak. Since, to me, peace of mind and light entertainment are good things and have no downside ... do you mean "damnation" or something as a consequence? If that's the case, then, no, I fear no consequences. I turned away from such mythology based on my beliefs.

Answer :Well I do apologise english is not my first language the consequences I was talking about was more along the line of exess stomach acid stress irritation or whatever. It seems that the times I get upset at people and being a Scorpio that does happen with a alarming frequency I tend to get myself all ....out of sorts. Thats the consequences to me.
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Not at all, for the said child will go away when you say "no thank you", pushy preachers don't. (Note I keep using the word "push" because non aggressive disciples don't intrude on people.)

Answer: Really ....I met plenty of people of all ages (incl. some hot to trot boyscouts ha )who did not want to take no for an answer. Actually I find they all go away if I yell at them as well as when I treat them with respect. Maybe allowing them to save face so to speak.
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A marriage is not an unwelcomed intrusion, there is that little ritual where both parties say "I do".

Answer : Well either you are not married or newly married or married to a very nice person. I have been there more than once and I will tell you a secret......sometimes I do not see it as a welcome intrusion but wish she would ..go fish  :-) Dont tell my wife
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I don't question the courtesy of your preference, but I fail to see the mentioned examples as even comparable to the pushy converter. So, it stops at people forcing themselves upon another and pester. Patience with such strikes me as passive, for I would not be enjoying the company nor pleased to reward that behaviour with an open ear. The last thing I wish to do is encourage such behaviour.

Answer: Well to each his own hoever there are ways equally effective and a firm no I am really not the least bit interested with a smile will in my opinion work as well . I have brought up 8 kids through teenage years and found firmness and respect kindness without being a sissy to work well and I think we can agree that a teenager who wants to borrow the car to go on a date is as intrusive as it gets ..!
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Since this primarily seems as a rebuttal to my comment

Answer: Well it really wasnt I was more preaching to the choir but thats ok
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, I'll take it you infer my "kissing of my pentacle" or telling someone I worship the Great Clock Spider to be aggression. I'm sorry you see what I believe is clear-cut assertiveness as aggression. I'm not the nicest person in this forum, nor do I wish to be. I treat people on the basis of intention and effect. I live in New Orleans (U.S. ... though my profile says Canada) and would waste a significant portion of my daily life if I were to coddle every fanatic/scam artist/aggressor I encounter. It's a constant nuisance and I could either get frustrated or handle it as I do. I choose the latter. :)

Answer: Well I cant say I dont know what you are talking about I live in Miami and a certain firmness is a help at times ha I guess itis a matter of a balance

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You're one of those "nicer" than am I. Throughout history people were slaughtered in the name of one man's god or another. Sound reasoning of a fanatical mind is a possibility, as is lightning striking me before I post this message (but neither are likely). I treat all things according to my spectrum of feasible possibilities. This is why I treat pushy people as I do, and I don't talk to chairs or discuss calculus with a newborn child.

Answer: Well thanks if it was a compliment being nicer though I doubt it ha anyway I dont feel nicer at all but rather in this thread tried to set an ideal that I would like to adhere to but often fail in. More along a philosofical discussion with an ethical suggestion. I do have an explosive temprament and have spent a lifetime trying to get it under control.
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I sincerely hope not to come across in this message as being abrasive, for that is most definitely not my intention. I still adhere to my choice and principles completley. In conclusion, I think we may just have to agree to disagree.

Well yea you do seem a bit sensitive but I am not offended in a way I think we may be more alike that we think. Thats just my intuition. I did enjoy your post and it has given me some things to think over, so thanks for that. Agree to disagree sounds fine to me.

Regards Mustardseed
Words.....there was a time when I believed in words!

Randøm_

Heh, I'm going to try and edit this response to where the forum can tell who said what. Since it's really a quote-to-quote discussion it could be hard to follow otherwise.

quote:
Originally posted by Mustardseed
Answer :Well thats OK then, as your interpretation is set as being a hostile act you then "retaliate" as you do. I dont count it agression but rather enjoy listening to someone who has it "all figured out" it dosnt bother me and I personally like to ask questions and debate and so on so ...to each his own. The problem that started the thread was that the "victim" was not really sure what he was feeling and though leaning towards it as being an intrusion he still felt strangely attracted
.

Mustardseed,
This answer of yours marks our difference. I don't enjoy someone who confuses ignorance with wisdom. If a conversation on such a topic were to happen by accident or circumstance then it wouldn't strike me as having it pushed on me. I actually have a friend who has turned to christianity and likes to discuss it with me, but he also constantly gets offended whenever I mention the abuses throughout history. He's not pushy, but a friend, so he gets sincere conversation/debate.

quote:
Answer :Well I do apologise english is not my first language the consequences I was talking about was more along the line of exess stomach acid stress irritation or whatever. It seems that the times I get upset at people and being a Scorpio that does happen with a alarming frequency I tend to get myself all ....out of sorts. Thats the consequences to me.


There's no need for an apology. Your english is far better than many people who speak it as their native tongue. I just answered the only interpretation I could make of the "consequences". Now that you've clarified what you meant, I'd say that I'm more prone to getting stomach acid if I were to tolerate what strikes me as someone being pushy. My assertiveness is actually brought about from not wanting those consequences. My current method has no such consequence. [:)]

quote:
Answer: Really ....I met plenty of people of all ages (incl. some hot to trot boyscouts ha )who did not want to take no for an answer. Actually I find they all go away if I yell at them as well as when I treat them with respect. Maybe allowing them to save face so to speak.



I actually thought of this sub-topic before reading your response. There could be pushy boy/girl scouts that I feel would warrant less courtesy in reactions. I never encountered such, but if I did, I would likely handle it the same manner as I do telemarketers. I'd say that I don't accept these types of calls/visits and hang up the phone or close the door. Another reason why I don't consider them as intrusive as a preacher intent on converting is, well, because cookies aren't personal, my beliefs, are. Preaching to me is an attack on my beliefs because of 1) the condescension of the presentation and 2) people were never burned at the stake or drowned because of the type of cookies they prefer. Religion is a fanatical political construct when organised, and history has proven such organisation to be fatal to countless people. More people were killed in the name of another person's god than any other thing. Heh, it's still happening.

quote:
Answer : Well either you are not married or newly married or married to a very nice person. I have been there more than once and I will tell you a secret......sometimes I do not see it as a welcome intrusion but wish she would ..go fish [:)] Dont tell my wife


You got me, lol. I'm not married, though had a 10 year relationship with an extremely negative person (and tons of short-term flings before that). I do know how exhausting it can be to try and be the good lover/spouse when things are at their worst. I lived up to my role very well (better than the situations deserved), but not living with her and knowing I could walk away at any time may make all the difference in our perceptions of marriage. You see, I never felt trapped and refuse to share my residence with another person ... that's why I have cats instead of kids. They're intrusive but never once asked to borrow the car or for me to run errands. BTW, the fish might find a dangling hook from your wife a bit intrusive is she did "go fish". [;)]


quote:
Answer: Well to each his own hoever there are ways equally effective and a firm no I am really not the least bit interested with a smile will in my opinion work as well . I have brought up 8 kids through teenage years and found firmness and respect kindness without being a sissy to work well and I think we can agree that a teenager who wants to borrow the car to go on a date is as intrusive as it gets ..!


Teenage kids wanting something from me ... now that's down right scary to imagine, lol.

quote:
Answer: Well I cant say I dont know what you are talking about I live in Miami and a certain firmness is a help at times ha I guess it is a matter of a balance.


Balance is always the key. [:)]
I still don't consider what I do to be the least bit hostile, though. Trust me, certain reactions that I do consider hostile pass through my mind at times, so my choice is merely what I consider to be assertive with a mild form of entertainment to make it worthwhile.

quote:
Answer: Well thanks if it was a compliment being nicer though I doubt it ha anyway I dont feel nicer at all but rather in this thread tried to set an ideal that I would like to adhere to but often fail in. More along a philosofical discussion with an ethical suggestion. I do have an explosive temprament and have spent a lifetime trying to get it under control.


Calling you "nicer" was, indeed, a compliment. I am unsure (within myself) how nice I can be without becoming prey to someone not so nice. I see others in this forum even nicer than I consider you, signing off with words of love to strangers. I don't wish to be that nice, but, if sincere, it does strike my curiosity.

It's ironic, your nicer and say you have an explosive temper. I'm not as nice and don't really ever lose my temper. Hmmm.
quote:
Well yea you do seem a bit sensitive but I am not offended in a way I think we may be more alike that we think. Thats just my intuition. I did enjoy your post and it has given me some things to think over, so thanks for that. Agree to disagree sounds fine to me.


I don't consider myself so sensitive, but I do admit enjoying debate a little too much. The problem with debate is that I sometimes end up unintentionally offending the person because they've failed to win me over (convert) or my words come across as a bit cold. I have a very cold-logic (without emotions) in the Stoic sense, that I try to keep completely separate from my emotions. The two are opposites, after all.

As for us being more alike than we think ... perhaps. We are both Scorpios, lol.
Seriously, I know my past experiences have a lot to do with why I choose to react as I do, and that may make all the difference in our disagreement. These incidents of my pre-adult life are nothing I wish to display on a public forum, but they result in who I am and what I will and will not tolerate from what feels like parasites trying to feed on me.

I also enjoyed this rapport, thus marking my weakness, my tendency to love to debate with a challenging opponent. Preachers aren't very challenging and definitely not open-minded in their conceited view of divinity. As for the two of us, Mustardseed, I think we may find ourselves in a few more enjoyable debates in the future. Perhaps I should make a trip to Miami, dress up like a preacher, and ring your door-bell in this disguise. [;)]

RandomName

I know EXACTLY how that feels Tym, only my experience was with a goth/witch type of girl. She looked to be in her twenties, not ugly, not cute, dark clothes, black makeup, peircings, reading a witchcraft book. IN BARNES N NOBLE IN FACT. She and I exchanged glances at the exact same time and I froze like a rabbit. I literally COULD NOT MOVE, not from fear, not from interest, but as if every bit of energy in my body locked into place. This lasted about 5 seconds and she put the book down and left. She didn't pay any attention to me at all, just a quick glance, stopped,waited 5 seconds, dropped the book and took off. It was very disturbing at the time. Not frightening, but it made me think.

RandomName

Now this next post here is to start/conjoin the current debates.



People naturally like to think they are right and those with pride will not accept anothers beleifs, correct or not. Since there is no such thing as a "correct beleif" then anyone who is a pushy person is either A.A person with extreme pride and extreme faith(which in my opinion is stupidity in action) or B. A person who is mistaken and submissive to the crowd and does as many wish.

I am a person with lesser pride and admit when I am wrong or do something stupid, no leaf clover understands what I mean.

In the situation of religous debate, I tend to accidentally make religous people angry with my constant responses that refute their beleifs completely. They get frustrated and eventually leave with a defeated pride and anger. I can only say, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

A pushy child is one thing, they are naieve or ignorant because of their parents and should be taught otherwise. But I will say this, a child who does wrong and has their parents blamed for it is NOT guilt free themselves because all people are born with a sense of ethics. Retarded children are no exemption, argue as you want, but I know of plenty of children that have severe retardation and STILL know more than a large proportion of the higher intelligence crowd. Argue as you want for the claim that "retarded people cannot help it" trust me, they can. People look for alternatives to problems that must be faced with some kind of discipline. I do not beleive in beating a child and calling it spanking as some parents do, but I will use spankings as a persuasive action to ignorant/hard headed children.

As what was said relating to the religous groups and the right to free speech, there is a fine line that is usually crossed.
Voicing ones opinions to another is fine and one has a right to disagree with another, but when a person voices their rights in an imposing and obnoxious manner, they are stepping over their bounds. Its like a child trying to start a fight, talking big, in a "MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD" kind of sense. If one can try to convert me, they are asking for a counter-attack and possibly a reversal in conversion. Anyone that comes to me with their religon and pushes it on me, has what is coming to them, as do I. My fault for fighting with them and responding, I have the right to ignore them, but there is some cases where these persons can become so pushy, it no longer becomes a debate, but comparable to a knife fight. Your pride won't let you walk away, but you stay and fight, as with a knife fight, you can't run(pride) but must stand up for what you beleive in.

MORALLY, I beleive that trying to convert someone should be illeagle in all forms. Preaching your beleif is fine, HAVE A PARADE! I DON'T NEED A FLIER TRYING TO MAKE ME CONSIDER THE IMPOSSIBLE/INEVITABLE.
I use impossible and inevitable in the way that I did, because nobody can be sure as to wether something is NEVER going to happen, or is GOING to happen, as the fliers I get about the rapture.

ALL in all, it boils down to one thing, faith,pride, stupidity, and wisdom all wrapped in one tortilla of debate.

It was nice reading this topic, and I hope to hear some responses.[:P]

AstralTym

yea except in this case, i really didn't have a lot to back up my case for some reason.  he tried to use the whole "you know if something's true, whether you believe it or not, it's going to happen" (in reference to hell) - i guess i kind of froze and didn't really know how to defend myself, and ended up being invaded.  he kept referring to the bible and all i had was this huge collection of books to my right hehe.  stupid converters :)

AstralTym

Ok so this isn't normally a post you'd see on these boards, but I felt it fit perfectly in with psychic/mental self defense.
I was just at Barnes and Noble, and looking through their slew of New Age books when I had a lady come up to me and hand me a flier.  She and her husband? maybe decided to preach to me about jesus and hell and all that.
Now normally, I would've just put up a good argument and walked back to what i was doing.  But this was different.  This guy was almost forcing himself in.  I'm a bit of a vibe reader, and this guy was off the charts with...like...divine energy.  I can't explain it, but it actually gave me a weird glowing feeling inside.  I didn't want it, but I couldn't leave the situation either.
Finally after about 15 minutes he challenged me to read the Bible, and they left.  I kept an open mind through the whole thing while at the same time expressing my viewpoint, but maybe that was a bad idea.  Aftewards, I felt a mix of emotions.  I went from laughing to ticked to downright mad to glowing to understanding, and finally to realizing I might have been intruded.
What is a way of blocking against this vibe?  Or getting rid of energy you just don't want like this from someone?  It was just overpowering, and I think they really really believed what they were preaching.  It wasn't like a normal preacher who is loud and overwhelming, but he was just...well...nice!  I think the vibe thing isn't always a good thing to do
*confused and somewhat distraught in Chicago* lol