I've felt haunted all my life

[Rob]

Hi

Sorry to hear about your problems, a few suggestions and points:

- When a thought is injected into your mind, what is important is not that thought (which is, essentially, only information), but your *reaction* to it. So, if you twist inwardly, allow yourself to be horrified, get angry etc, that is precisely what it wants. The solution is to be slightly disconnected, don't trust what you see, what you hear, or what you feel. Instead, just be warm to yourself at all times. When you see the horrific things being shown to you, just smile inwardly, mentally nod towards it, but best you don't dwell on it. This is not a try-not-do-to-this type thing, because the very act of trying to stop yourself from thinking something, just doesn't work, it only adds fuel to the fire as it were. Instead, it is simply being in a state which is not one of horror or worry, but thinking that whatever is going on right now, its OK, as long as you are warm to yourself, it doesn't matter. The mental attitude is all important - you might want to try meditating and creating this feeling, get to know it more.

-That said, it is still best to try and get rid of it! We are all human and to have absolutely no reaction, is probably not possible. You might want to try drawing all the sacred symbols on your body, especially draw a pentegram on your forehead (third eye). Ask me if you want me to go further into this. Also get some running water going under your bed. This is all in RB's PPSD, you should probably get a copy of it. If the sleep paralysis is you being attacked (not OBE in progress), drawing sacred symbols all over yourself (in the correct places), will solve this completely. It is also just a generally very healthy thing to do when you are in trouble. As are many of the countermeasures eg room cleansing etc, as per the basic psychic countermeasures article.

-Again with the anger, dissociate yourself from it. I don't know if this is possible or not. Don't try and repress or push down the anger though, let it pass through and leave you. Repressing emotions is a reeeeeaaaaaaaaally bad idea!! Just smile and nod.
This attitude was explained to me only a few weeks back, and has solved massive psychological harshness I was putting myself though. Have you studied quaballah? The way it was explained was "precisely delineating tiphareth". Think of it as being like an island of calm in the middle of stormy seas, above and untouched by surrounding turmoil.

Hope this helps!
love
Rob

[AstralDelight]

The anger part is something i want to explain.

When I get angry, sometimes the level of how angry I am is practically destructive.
And I try to control it as best i can, but sometimes it doesn't work that well.
A lot of it is spawned from my parents. They're both two very angry and irrational people sometimes, tempers are very short.
And I'm a person who feels trapped because all they nail about day in and day out are tiny details in a whole huge spectrum of life. And they don't think before they talk. What you end up with is me taking a lot of verbal assault and exercising a hell of a lot of control for a 17 year old.

Just now my mom knocked on my door, shut for the very reason that i would like to have some time to meditate ((let me tell you now that my mother doesn't know english worth @#^%# and so I have to communicate with her in chinese, and that's difficult for me))

She yelled at me and said "What, is this a hotel, where everyone closes their door?" And I told her like i did a million times before in as calm a way as I could "I need privacy" and she responds with "You always say you need privacy, privacy. Don't close your door, this isn't a hotel."
By now, this shouldn't be a huge deal, but my anger level is way high, but I turn back into my room with just "ok."
Then she says, "Clean your room and vacumn the carpet!"
And I turned on her and yelled and told her to get the f*** out of my room.


My immediate logic is this. If this is a hotel, would I clean and vacumn my room? No. So if I have to take care of my room, why can't I do something as simple as close my door? She is always free to knock to talk to me. But she insists I keep my door open.


I've had to deal with this kind of thing, something that is so simple but my parents make a huge deal out of, and a lot more besides. And Because they don't even listen to themselves sometimes, i take a lot of "I don't care what you do... get out of the house" and "You don't care about us, we don't care about you." and a lot of "You're useless" type of thing. They say it and don't think before they talk.

The only reason why my parents don't lay a hand on me anymore is because they know I'd break a bone, and it wouldn't be mine.
This is where the base of my anger comes from, and put that along with the anger that flares up when I don't know why, I've got an issue in my hands that's going to take me a while to get on top of.

sorry about venting my personal life on here.....I'm angry and I'm trying not to break anything.

AD

[CRIMINALMIND63]

I would suggest you try to control your anger. Do this first. Go to the library and look for books on conflict resolution. If your problem has anything to do with a neg. interferance will come in any form to stop you from doing what you want and need to do. You must get to where you feel almost no emotions at all. This is hard to do but when you learn to do this you will understand what is coming from you. I experience feelings projected to me. My neg. sent me a strong feeling to choke a lady I was taking careof and sent me a mental image of me doing it. A couple weeks ago my neg. sent me the image and emotion to burn my son on the back with hot food. This isn't something that was come from me not a desire I had to do.  This is two instantances that I remember him sending me after I knew he was with me. This person also sent me the erge to stab my self almost five years ago. What I'm saying is that this person was with me for 5 years 3 of them I didn't realize. My daughter spent time in the hospital for trying to commit suicide. My daughter and son has experienced nightmares do to this person. I have seen people react differently to me because of this person. You must understand that you and your family may react to each other in a negative manner if there is enity involved. Don't place blame on them or yourself. It's up to you how you react now knowing what may be going.

[AstralDelight]

I've had times where I have seriously wanted to hurt, injure someone, and sometimes its not even someone who has done anything against me. sometimes I do things I don't really know why. I do it to see other people hurt.
This has been a problem with me and I'm trying to solve it.


AD

[Anonymous]

I have similar problems with my parents. Sometimes you just have to not take them so seriously. Parents are like that. Some are just really uptight and worry about every little thing. I've had talks with my mom about this sort of stuff and I tell her she worries too much and to just try to relax more. My stepdad is really hard to talk to though because I don't know him all that well. When I'm home I don't really talk to him, so I don't know what to say to him. He's really a "my way or the highway" kind of guy, so I have a hard time getting to know him. I don't think I want him to get to know me because I think he will just try to change me. Anyway, I hope things get better when you are in college (university, undergraduate, etc).

[AstralDelight]

Last night, just as I was felling asleep, I saw this dead body and it started to rot right in front of my eyes, and then I saw someone stabbing someone or someTHING with a knife over and over and it was really bloody.

I just watched it, but its downright distrubing. And I heard people yelling.....

[]

[Anonymous]

It is times like those when I'm glad I know kung fu. Man, it would be so much fun to kick a demon's @$$. I would have a field day.

[AstralDelight]

Hi.

I have had this problem for most of my life, or for as long as i can remember.

I've had problems with anger. And sometimes, the anger doesn't even feel like mine. I've always been extremely aware of negative things milling around me. And sometimes, I don't even know if its me, but I feel a connection with negative forces and some deep part of me keep calling to it.

At night, the nights are the worst. When I close my eyes, some of the most disturbing images come to me. I've been working on overcoming them and blocking them, but its like being flooded, and combined with how i experience sleep paralysis so much, this doesn't help.

Any thoughts please?

AD