Please please please help me!!!!

[MosesB]

Dont be scared,because youve got a real talent there.Try to use it to help people.

[SiN]

Sorry for replying so late, with around 7 hours of school for a new course, with homework/tons of assignments, it took some time to answer. Forgive me.

timeless: I know this is really, really long, and I'll understand if you don't read it all or at all. I think it helped me acknowledge a lot of things, though.

Looking back now, I feel as though maybe I over exaggerated,  but I'm being rational now, and if it were to happen again, I'd probably panic again.

Yea, after reading your post I tried to understand it. I usually remember around 6 to 8 dreams a night, and enjoy trying to understand them all (and I feel I am usually correct, even if I don't necessarily like what I find ~_^).  It's been a hobby of mine since I was really young, even though I had no idea how much it would benefit me later in life.

Everything you said makes sense, about the square-like formation of the broken rocks. And how I'm lacking 'certain' things in my life. All true and I know that these things I'm lacking, I'm desperately trying to gain.

The more I thought about it, I thought about other things. My school was in the background, perhaps meaning that I must 'learn' (or not forget to continue learning) something, whatever that may be. I really didn't focus on the school, so maybe it also means that I've been slacking off (not necessarily in school). I feel I know what it could be, I'm fairly certain.

About the man and woman. The man (being my Animus) was busily try to pick up the mess and fix the rocks (the problem), while the woman (maybe my Great Mother figure) was trying to invite me to help solve it. And I rejected, maybe meaning I'm still not ready or accepting my responsibilities or future, even though I was semi-conscious at first.So I was denied to go anywhere else, and it ended.

I also found that, along with what you said, that four is seen as a symbolic number signifying completeness and wholeness. And the square (or four) formation of the shattered rocks could mean that I am 'incomplete'.

I read the definitions, but I won't paste them here because it's not necessary. I have my ideas about them though. With the bat-like creature being on the window, maybe it means that my near future (window) is unpredictable or that I won't like what's going to happen.

As for the spider, what I read at the site, any of the meanings could apply to me. But the part I read about 'an unkind and sneaky individual' and 'a smothering individual' probably are about my father and mother, respectively.

Both of their red eyes flashing at me could mean they were warning me (I don't know what about though)? About the unsure future and my parents? I don't know.

These are just simple ideas. I tried understanding it,  but I'm still not so sure about the bat and spider being symbolic messages (since they came out of the part of the ceiling my hands went through, but then again, who knows?). And I thought it was an attack because it wasn't a normal SP episode, as far as I know. This lasted nearly non-stop for an hour. There was only 2 to 3 seconds that I was free before the next attack happened. And for over six  months I've been able to stop and sense an SP attack before it happens. I could barely struggle this time!

Also, my SP attacks started when I moved into my house (a really tough time in my life). And I discovered those words (Die, Die Slowly) on Halloween by accident. Also, I started having dreams of my little sister and mother being possessed by a demon, but never my father. And when my father left on vacation last summer, the SP and demonic dreams became even worse, which gave me the idea that maybe my dad was the real cause (that maybe HE was the one with the attached neg). Plus, he's acted violently towards me sporadically (nothing serious now, he stops himself) and he's a really calm person now...

Once something really bad happened to me, and when he realised what he did, he looked utterly confused (this was right before he left on vacation last summer)... I'm not defending him naively, I know he has a temper and that he was wrong. And, I think he too has been having SP. I asked, and he denied, but I heard him trying to call out (and it sounded like soft whimpering, which happens when you're paralysed and trying to yell out).

And he'd wake up shocked. He and my mother don't like it when I talk about my SP. They said 'we're moving' because of me. And "it better not happen in the new home". They don't like the idea, so I've stopped trying to explain it to them.

Plus, I see terrible images out of nowhere. Like killing people or fire, or if I look at a baby/whomever/whatever sometimes I'll hear terrible thoughts (like of killing or hurting), and it scares me. And usually as I'm preparing to fall asleep or if I'm trying to meditate. In fact, I saw this black, stretchy (longed-armed and legged) thing holding my little sister the night that this SP episode happened!, and I can't believe I'm just remembering this now! But, yea, I see terrible images (not sure if these are 'core images'?).

And I've been seeing more 'sparks' of white light, like a sudden flash, and not just out of the corner of my eye. I could just be looking at something, and it'll appear (sometimes small or fairly big).

Sooooo I'm not sure. And I've denied all this many times. Also, on many occasions I've felt my bed just suddenly jerk, while I'm just lying doing nothing (including that day with the hour-long SP) or it'll vibrate or it'll feel like something is pushing my bed down (or me down). Or I'll feel something touching me, and it tingles/or hurts the area. So, yea, I believe that there is something in my house.

Those were the details (I can remember) that I cut out of my original post. And I've resisted typing all of my problems because they just seem like so much (and I try to avoid attacking my problems head on, but now I'm just fed up and don't want to waste any more of my precious life worrying or seeing terrible things).

I've had similar experiences as a child too. I'd see tons of things, especially swirling colours that used to fascinate me when I was young. I thought I'd see moving animals on the walls (and this happened a few times when I was 14). I would be uncomfortable in places for no reason (just 'feeling' something and not understanding why). And I've had a reoccurring dream/nightmare that I can remember since I was 6. It's about a closet. Sometimes it's a nice dream, sometimes it's a nightmare. And it happens on and off every few months, I've noticed.

And I do think of it as a gift, because, as scary as SP and spontaneous Projections can be, if I had never had them I might not have discovered Astral Projection and the like, or at least not as soon as I did. And I know I have a lot of emotional garbage to deal with, because I've suppressed too many bad feelings and have been holding them in since I was old enough to understand fear and hate, which was really young for me (I think). I've stopped now; I know it's not healthy, and can be blamed for my 'unknown' symptoms of sudden pain and stress which doctors could never understand. They always said I was too 'young' to have such stress.

Anyway, sorry for the heavy reply. I could've gone on and on about the dream and typed about the swirling cloud, lucky I didn't, this reply is far too long already.

Thank you so much firstly for replying and for taking the time to find me the information you did. It really did help (and I ventured into reading more of Jung's theories and other things). Kept me busy for some time. Take care.


MosesB: It's hard not being scared, even though I've gotten somewhat used to it. This SP attack just really freaked me out. Someday, hopefully, I will help people. If not with my 'talents' (if I have the patience to practice and develop them), then with other ways. Thank you for your kind words.

[beavis]

SiN, the things that try to scare you from the astral, remember that they didnt hurt you. Maybe they can only scare. For fun, I sometimes fall into a big astral hole full of spiders.

"The last things I saw were these black, ethereal-like creatures come OUT of my ceiling, in the little area that my hands went through and made flutter!! One creature resembled a bat and another a huge spider. Both had red eyes (and flashed when they noticed me). And for like 5-10 seconds they wouldn't move. The bat was on my window, the spider outside my room on the ceiling (nearest my parent's room). But I was AWAKE! I saw them AFTER I was free. And I kept blinking over and over, thinking No, I'm seeing wrong. But they were there."

See my thread "this reality is a dream". The spider and bat are examples of that.

[Ides315]

Hey, SiN

Adding to timeless's post (congrats timeless on mederator status) some of the things you are seeing involving family members could be attempts to get to you through someone else. Anything that could unbalance you. It is a pretty good sign that they are not able to get to you directly. Try not to let it bother you, and keep growing.

My best to you

[SiN]

beavis: Well, I know that things from the Astral can't hurt me physically... but during SP it DOES hurt (and I'll still feel it afterwards, sometimes even the whole day. I don't understand this. I thought this was normal? That others could feel pain too. It's not?

I read two different threads about the same thing. It's a very interesting thread. I don't think dreams are illusions. I've being reading a lot of stuff lately on perceptions and reality, and discovering more on what I believe in and what I think about religion/s and if there is a God(or Allah, or Brahman, etc). And I think that what's considered 'real' (as physical) is different than dreams and projections, but they're no less real. They're just different perceptions.

And reality is what we perceive at the time... so when I'm dreaming it is real right then and there for me. When I project, it is real. Right now this is real. ... I'm not going to say this is right, because I'm not sure and its just an idea (and I might change it). *shrugs* Maybe I'll find out when I can control my projections (minus the negs messing them up ~_^).

...and when I read what you wrote about someone named Squeek on this forum, how s/he saw nearly the exact same things I did (just minus the hole-les ceiling), damn...


timeless: that sounds horrible for your aunt. Lucky enough that she's psychic and could at least know what was going on. You know,  I forgot to mention that I'd hear voices at night (really loud and confusing arguments, mostly sounded like a woman was yelling at a child).

(you can skip most of this, it's mostly rambling)

I don't think I have figured out entirely in what I believe in. It's only recently that I'm beginning to realise what I believe in: that God or Allah (etc) are the same, that different religions are just different interpretations of the same thing. That most humans give their 'deity' a human ego, because this is what they can relate to; and that this Godly ego is the 'highest ideal of what a human can only hope to follow yet probably won't completely because we constantly sin or could never understand unless we are 'holy' (like a priest or pope)... that if we don't comply with this god/s wishes of what is expected, we'll go to hell or won't be accepted and shunned.  

That people say their god/s' love is unconditional, yet so many of them place restrictions on whom they love (resulting in racism, sexism, homophobes, fearing what they don't understand, etc), who is allowed to believe in their God and how...and say, "No, I don't discriminate", even though they are. and that most don't question what they've been taught to believe in, because they fear that something else might prove that what they've spent their life learning is not true.  Most don't even want to consider that if they were born somewhere else with different beliefs, they'd probably believe it... (most I've said this too so far haven't said anything in defence, or just say, well, that didn't happen, I'm a Christian, giving me no real reason...) so sad...

I think that there is nothing wrong with being a Christian or Muslim or Jewish; that as long as we are free of discrimination, don't sacrifice any new ideas we wish to incorporate within our own faith, or are good people, then it doesn't matter. Unfortunately, this isn't the case (these past few days during summer school I practically battled the whole class with 3 or 4 others because the majority of them were being prejudice against homosexuals and then some telling me people who are gay are immoral/sin/should be all be shipped off to an island or don't believe in God are going to Hell...*big sigh*)...  I could have argued for hours, but there's no point if I'm just talking to deaf ears, right?

For the longest time I couldn't put into words what I felt, and so I became upset with the religion I was born into (Christianity). I considered myself an atheist (hated the world and all the injustice in it), then believed in 'something' though had no words to describe it (and this is what I've just come out of)... it was actually during that day when I slowly began to figure out what I wanted to 'call my own', when I ended up in that bitter SP experience. And I think the dream was maybe telling me to continue thinking this way, and that I need to 'repair' the damage done to it.

I think that we are all one and the same, just different aspects of the Universal Soul/Spirit (or God or Allah or Braham, etc), and that eventually we will return to this Oneness and loose the ego we've adopted at the time (whether in the physical reality or Astral reality, wherever we are at the time and have completed our development)... err... many things, I'm becoming to understand and are still working on them. But those, I have no doubt (but I still won't say "I'm right and you're wrong", or that you'll be going to hell, heh.

Hehe...long response on 'what I believe in'. I wanted to get this on paper, but this is better ^_^. I feel much better when I talk about it or write it down (since I can barely speak to someone without them breathing Hell's fire down my throat).

And even though it's only recently I realised my beliefs, I've been on this spiritual high, and even when I hear people giving absolute statements that promote any kind of prejudice, I'm acting more calmly about it, instead of becoming to emotionally involved and wanting to smack these ignorant people. It feels... really good. I still need to work on it, but I'm hopeful I'll succeed even if it always seems as if the whole world is against me.  

As for getting rid of the fear. I'm trying, but being exposed to something new almost always brings up new fear. Actually, I wasn't afraid of my SP for a while now (maybe over 6 months). I could control it; could stop it whenever I wanted to, could sense when it was about to happen and stop it or let it happen (and I'd let it happen most of the times so I could try to project from it, unsuccessfully). I started to want it to happen more often because I could gain some control over it before it would start to hurt me.... It almost seems like what happened was twisted punishment or like a twisted way of trying to 'reach out' to me. ...I'm ambivalent about which one it is, maybe both?

And I've always been a very confident individual. Everyone I know has called me brave at one time or another because I'm not afraid to express what I'm thinking, or if I think I've something wrong. I just think that because I'm not used to SP and AP and the like, I worry what I'll find. I'm confident in my surroundings because I know them! Its hard for me to not think something will get me once I project, because all I've ever been exposed to with AP is spontaneous projections/sleep paralysis.

And why I'm trying to deal with my negs (or the beings in my house) now is... well, I'm moving. Otherwise I'd probably would just bear the problem forever (I'll confront anyone else's problems but rarely my own, I know this is bad but its true). And I don't want the new residents to go through what I went through. I'm just glad they don't have any children (yet) that will be moving in too (just found out). I told my parents I didn't want people with little kids moving in, but you can't tell prospective buyers, "Hey, my house is haunted, so if you have children or want any, don't buy my house." I feel so selfish because of this.

Even after I move I plan to (once I have more experience in the Astral and build up shields and whatnot) place Wards to protect them, unless I can find a way to do away with them for good. Unfortunately, this will take time. As much as I love time, it sucks in this circumstance.

As to your questions: 1) I do meditate (though haven't for a while now), and during the day time its easy. But when the sun goes down and if I'm alone its especially harder (I might get those bad thoughts/images/ or hear someone talking to me in a deep voice... and it'll freak me out). I don't know about on the 'power of God' (I'd call it the Universal Soul or Spirit), I just meditate. Don't think I've got enough experience though.  

2) I like to think I'm protected. I have unbelievably good luck and strange 'coincidences' (that aren't, but people would say this). And when a day(or something) goes incredibly wrong, I'll see something that just washes over me with such love I realise that its ok and there's no point in holding on to anger/sadness, to just feel it and release it. Or I'll feel as though something is directing me somewhere. But not particularly protected. Nope.

...and i'm not apologizing for the long reply this time, because you told me there's no need to. Be careful what you say ~_^.

Ides315: Yea, I thought about that (using someone else to get to me). I'll try to not let it bother me, and I've still got a lot of growing left! Heh.

My best to you too ^_^


Thank you all again for replying.

[Ides315]

SiN

If more people would figure out what you did by such a young age the world would be a lot better off. You are on the right track.

Best to you

[SiN]

Thanks Ides315. I really feel like I'm on the right track. I wish that everyone could find peace within themselves and live in harmony, but I'm not gonna be ticked off anymore that this is unlikely (for now anyway).


Best to you too.

[goingslow]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but I will (ADD so I read things in parts).  Sin I know what you're going through.  I've had SP episodes since I was a kid too.  Many were the most traumatic things I've ever had happen and many seemed to last all night.  Often they were combined with endless false awakenings.

Im sorry if anyone said this already but I found out as I got older and really paid attention to these things the worst part is the fear.  The fear is so incredibly strong and overpowering.  I have finally reached a point (Im 26 now) where I have gotten over the fear of these events.  Now that I have the entities in my dreams are harmless, even the entities that once caused me physical pain.  Its a long process and Im not sure how to describe how to overcome fear.  Its not just about confronting it its about not feeling the energy or emotion and there is no way to disguise it in the astral.  Even if you're confronting the entitity if you feel fear your surroundings will reflect that

Im sure someone already suggested this but read posts on the shadow.  One of my last SP episodes involved an alien shaped figure on the side of my bed.  Not at the foot but right beside me.  It was at that point I started making progress with dealing with my own emotions and getting rid of fear.  Now when Im stuck in a dream that is scary and dark I stop running or whatever I'm doing and focus on my fear.  The scenery instantly changes to something beautiful and serene.

It was fear I was being attacked that actually led to more fear which has made me really question a lot of this psychic defense stuff (no one get offended its just my experience).  

Anyway good luck.. what timeless said was right you're being given a great opportunity because once you overcome that fear it will effect you in all aspects of your life.  Ive never had such control over my dreams as I do now.  And I have all the frightening entities and beings that have held me down in my dreams to thank for that.

[SiN]

Thanks goingslow for sharing what you've been through.

Yea, I think the worst part of it is the fear. It took me a year or so before I became so 'used' to it, and so hopeless, it came to a point where I thought, "to hell with it! It's gonna happen anyway." Then I realised I could control it and although the initial fear is always present, as soon as I could control it, it would go away (until the pain came in and I'd just want it to end). But the other problems factor in (like the death threats on my ceiling, or the moving bed, or hearing heated voices)... if it were just the SP, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

Wow. 26, and you've had them since you were a child? I can't imagine having SP for so long (and I've only had it for around 3 and a half years now, I think). I think I had a few 'harmless' ones at 12 yrs. or so, but I didn't think anything of them.

You know, I've heard of lots of people seeing aliens during their SP attacks, but I can't remember any. I've seen everything from demonic figures to gnomes to black holes sucking me in, but never aliens. Weird.

I'm glad though that you have control over it, and of your dreams. I used to be able to have lucid dreams often when I was younger, but ever since (that I can remember) my SP started, it's been far and few. Shame, I really love lucid dreaming (who doesn't?).

I see your point. Yea, it seems when you question whether or not you are being attacked (and build up that 'fear') it probably manifests, or you bring attention to yourself because of it. Just as there are cons to it, there are pros. Like...I think that it is important that one is able to defend oneself, especially if you decide to astral project. I hope I never have to encounter any negs once I fully master AP, but if I do, I'd very much like to know what to do instead of letting my fear control me (or give the neg power over my fear). You know what I mean?

One day, I hope I can too look back and say, "Thank you, my darling Nightmares." ...while I'm having a nightmare to see what'll happen. That would be neat to see. I actually like my nightmares, though, even though they might scare the crap out of me. I like them because I usually end up semi-conscious in them).

I wish you continuing good luck, goingslow. If you can get over your fear, so can I, right? []

oh, and what do you mean read posts on the shadow? Anything specific about it? I checked but there were a lot of posts on it.

[goingslow]

The "dweller on the threshold" might be the most helpful stuff to read.

And I dont really thank them really.. i still dont understand them.  I just felt like saying that for some reason.  You knew what I meant.

I also think psychic SD has a place too.  I dont think all beings are outside of ourself but there definitely are some.  I've had experiences with a house which had something which was confirmed by other people's stories.  That was different.  
So there definitely is a place for it.

[goingslow]

quote:Originally posted by SiN



I'm glad though that you have control over it, and of your dreams. I used to be able to have lucid dreams often when I was younger, but ever since (that I can remember) my SP started, it's been far and few. Shame, I really love lucid dreaming (who doesn't?).

I didnt see this post before I posted.  I had sleeping paralysis episodes which actually led to OBE's and LD's.  You can turn them around in that way even though some say its not possible.  I was lucky in a way because when I had these episodes I had never read a book about what they were or even knew they were anything other than regular nightmares.  Because of that I learned to peel myself off of the bed.. (felt like literally peeling) and step out my wall then fly off and usually as soon as I got outside my house everything got less scary.  In fact it would stop being a nightmare at that point (Usually).  If I had read about them and suggestions they're actually entities Im not sure if i could have confronted them the way I did when I thought they were just dream figures.  I still feared the dream but because I thought they were ONLY dreams It hit home more the saying "the only thing to fear is fear itself" since dreams cant hurt you right?  I hope that makes sense.

There were a few times I spent the rest of the dream being chased and not being able to fly off (them holding my legs down).  But now I see I dont need to fly off to get away.. I just need to release the fear.  It actually works.  I dont actually remember if I had lucid dreams before I had these false awakenings and nightmares that let me know I'm dreaming.  I think in a way that might be how I discovered lucid dreaming.  So thats sort of what I meant by "thanking" them.

 Sorry this post is jumbled Im about to go eat and pretty hungry.

anyway keep us posted on how you're doing with this stuff.  take care

[Nita]

Hello Sin
  You should read Robert's book Psychic self-defense and use the egg technique in the book. You can also shape your dreams which means that you can leave a spot or remove things that you don't like.
  A sleep pillow of lavender and protective herbs also will help you to sleep better.
       Nita

[SiN]

goingslow: Having SP did help me AP (but then I'd end up in too much pain so I'd stop and become paralysed again). But I haven't had many lucid dreams.

quote:If I had read about them and suggestions they're actually entities Im not sure if i could have confronted them the way I did when I thought they were just dream figures. I still feared the dream but because I thought they were ONLY dreams It hit home more the saying "the only thing to fear is fear itself" since dreams cant hurt you right? I hope that makes sense.

It made sense . It might have been different if I hadn't read about SP and whatnot, but my episodes have always been painful for me (and they happened frequently and in clusters, many times a night.) So it helped me, I think, to read about it. If it had been less intense, I probably would have gotten over it much quicker.

I'll check the 'dweller on the threshold' post.

And, as to keeping posted. Well, I haven't had an episode for a while now. I'm almost itching for one, so I can face this damn thing and get it over with...but wanting to face it is one thing, and actually facing it...well, it's another.

Take care too.

Nita: Yes, I very much need to read that book. I've been waiting awhile for Astral Dynamics, had it ordered through a local bookstore, but...am still waiting for it. I'll check the egg technique, if I actually find the PPSD book and remember to look for the egg technique. Thanks for the suggestion (about the lavender and herbs). I'll try them when I can.

Thanks for the replies.

[SiN]

I know this is really long, but please read.

I really really need someone's help! The most terrible thing has happened yet. I'm used to having many SP attacks in one night, periodically, 6 or 8 or 10 times in one night (or whenever I fall asleep)... but this one last for around an HOUR NEARLY NONSTOP!!! It  started around 2:40AM and finished 3:47AM today.

If I didn't fight it/them, then I don't know, maybe I wouldn't be here typing right now. I really, really thought someone or thing was giving me a psychic attack or trying to posses me or kill me. And I've never felt so strongly before, but then again, an hour of this crazy sh*t will probably mess anyone up, right?

Until 3AM I couldn't get out of it at all. I managed to scream for my mother and she slept beside me after that. And even with her beside me, it continued, this time barely stopping only twice (and I switched positions). From lying flat on my back to lying on my stomach and finally back on my back. Switching positions did nothing.

She'd hear me moan and would touch my head or my back and i'd get out of it, only to have it happen again a few seconds after.

Most of the time I had my arms being lifted and something tried to tie my hands and lift me. Some of the time I was shown (or slipped into) dreams, but I was fully conscious, so I don't know what to call it. In one of these dreams, I saw what looked like my school, but there were big broken boulder-like stones scattered around. And it looked like they were once a square formation. And there were 3 graves and someone was flattening/putting fresh dirt on one of the graves (the 1st one). And the whole thing looked a little misty.

I saw a man near the shattered rocks and a woman coming towards me. She wanted me to help her and come with her (towards the rocks).  I was a little semi-conscious at this point, I admit, but when she spoke to me and told me to go with her, I became fully conscious and decided to take advantage of my situation. I asked her where I was and whose graves were those, but she wouldn't listen, just wanting me to follow her. I wouldn't and tried to leave. And it ended.

It was only during this one dream that I could move around, until it changed and I was back in my room paralysed again.

The other ones (like 50 or even more, it's all a blur) I can't remember now. Most of them felt the same anyway, nothing of import.

But the most important of all, I think is the last SP attack. Everything blurred and I saw a grey cloud off my left side. My left eye was closed for some reason until everything surrounded me and I tried to open it again and it did. I could no longer see my mother beside me; everything was murky grey. I heard and saw thunder and that little cloud turned, I think, into one massive swirling cloud that enveloped me.

I tried saying everything from, "you can't hurt me" "I love you, you're a part of me" to "God, my guide, ANYONE, please help me!" And it was over. But then I was back in my room, finding myself being pulled upwards. (and I don't feel that what happens next is separate from the 'grey swirling cloud' SP episode. I feel what's next is a continuation/result of what happened)

Normally, when that happens, when something tries to pull me up towards my ceiling I'd fight like mad, because I believe that there is something up there. On my ceiling the words Die, Die Slowly and two footprints are on it. For the longest while, before I understood SP, I was deathly afraid of my room and couldn't sleep in it for months.

Even during the few times I've projected consciously, they wouldn't last because the moment I became close to my ceiling I'd become paralysed and pushed back down.

So, this time I let myself be taken up. My arms were placed upwards again but not tied this time. The moment my hands went through the ceiling, it fluttered (just in the area my hands touched and I think the area I touched is where those two footprints are, next to the Die). Then I was "steered" down and to the side, outside of my room and house with nothing but blackness surrounding me. I could move though. And I thought I was free (again), but a females voice (I think) said one word, I can't remember what, and I was back in bed. Free.

And I waited for like 2 seconds to see if I'd be paralysed again, but I wasn't. And I "knew" I wouldn't be because all the pain and exhaustion and the feeling of still being immobile was gone. I thought it was over, but I was wrong.

The last things I saw were these black, ethereal-like creatures come OUT of my ceiling, in the little area that my hands went through and made flutter!! One creature resembled a bat and another a huge spider. Both had red eyes (and flashed when they noticed me). And for like 5-10 seconds they wouldn't move. The bat was on my window, the spider outside my room on the ceiling (nearest my parent's room). But I was AWAKE! I saw them AFTER I was free. And I kept blinking over and over, thinking No, I'm seeing wrong. But they were there. And it looked like they were looking at me until they left (the spider went back up, and the bat looked like it was still there, just hiding in the shadow, but I was sure it left). And I was too scared and shocked to move until I heard my sister wake.

I don't know "why" this happened. But I think it had something to do with forgetting to turn on my nightlight. Ever since last summer I've had it and it's helped me to fall asleep. I used to love to sleep in the dark until my SP happened. So, yea, I didn't turn it on last night and, because I felt so much love and happiness (and was partly meditating), I thought, "why don't I just leave it off this time." Maybe that's why this happened???

And I feel cheated or something because last night I really did feel... the most content and loved and happy I've ever been before. I was in love with the world and happy of myself. So it shocks me that something like this could happen after. I haven't slept at all since this happened and came on the computer to try to ask you guys for help. I want to cry but I wont. This has really frightened the hell out of me.

And I fear for my little sister (10 yrs). She woke up exactly when those 'black-redeyed' creatures disappeared. And she told me once that she saw a 'black man' (just fully black) walk around in the hallway, and I'd never told her of anything wrong with the house then. I went to her to see if anything was wrong when I heard her wake, but she just said the birds woke her up.

I'm sorry this post is so long, or if there are mistakes, but I really wanted to be as thorough as I could and post this before I leave for (summer) school. I even cut out some details I thought I should put.

Lastly. I don't like asking this. And I've never asked before... but if anyone is experienced enough in battling or dealing with Negs and feels they can take one on without getting hurt, please I beg you, help me. Please email me at sin0770@hotmail.com

Thank you.