The Good, Bad & Ugly

[2weird4me]

Ok, i know i'm not crazy or a follower of any sort of lunatic fringe.
My earliest encounter with the paranormal was around age 5 and continues to this day.
I've encountered glowing orbs, astral projection, hazy ghostlike lights, things moving themselves, strange noises from nowhere, visits by newly deceased family members...etc.  basically been thru it all.  Just chalked it up to happenstance mostly and moved on.  But after an experience awhile back i was left without my hearing i had to see a doctor.  In fact many many doctors who all tell me it's nothing clinical or psychological that they can tell.
I've just started focusing on why some of these things occur.  I've found on most of these sites, too many are on to guffaw any and all experiences they hear about and make those who are encountering any sort of experience sound like they're stupid or crazy.  Makes me wonder, if they're spending time online just to be ignorant and attack other people's experiences, maybe they're the crazy ones  hehe.

Anyway, just sincerely looking for any insight i can find as to why certain things happen.  Now that's it's actually taken a physical toll on me (or a clinic one at least) I need to find answers.

Any insight is welcome, but don't poopoo if you've never experienced anything yourself thanks  

[OrionsDream]

Are you now deaf? or is your hearing quality just low?
How old are you now?

[2weird4me]

When it first happened i was completely deaf except for the weird noises i heard just before and during the episode, it improved very little over the next couple years.

[OrionsDream]

How old are you now?
And as for your 1st post, and i truly hope i'm not the only person who posts on this thread, i think some ppl just are attracted to that kinda thing. some unlucky ppl. if theres any way to use it to ur advantage.... think of some if possible..

[bloodsong]

Why is it happening to you?  Well, this is gonna sound stupid, but...it's a gift.  You just can't understand it.  How do you stand on training in magic/metaphysical arts and sciences?  A good banishing ritual may aid in any effects, including the deafness that you have experienced.  Keeping a journal of what happens and dreams will help in figuring out the nature and control of your gifts, at which time, they will start to feel more as such rather than a curse!

If you need any help at all, or if you haven't had any real training in the arts and sciences of magic, email me and I can get you in line with some reading and online sites to help start you off with the banishings.  If you are a Christian and find your heart really into the particular brand you adhere to, go to your pastor/minister/priest/whatever and ask that he pray with you and/or help you learn how to pray for protection.  If you have no faith, then that may make things a little more difficult, but only slightly so, don't fret.

Let me know if I can be of any further help!

Bloodsong

P.S.  OrionsDream, are you happy with the other help received?   Probably came off wrong, but I was trying to be cordial.

[2weird4me]

thanks for the advice.  I've always been pretty intuned with my spiritual side, but it's more a faith i guess than any particular religion.  I have talked to a minister who basically quoted Steel Magnolias..what doesn't kill us....blah blah.  I know all of that.  
I'd definitely be interested in learning more about my 'gift' as you put it.  Just as long as it's nothing to do with demonic worship or anything of that sort.  
The experience before my hearing went was a negative one, and I've had other negative experiences also, but on the other hand I've had some very wonderful and I'd say miraculous experience also.  First hand knowledge of good versus evil i guess you could say.
Any and all direction is greatly welcome and appreciated.

[bloodsong]

First, I'd not ask you to worship anything, demonic or otherwise. Personally, I view what is commonly called worship as bowing down and putting yourself at the mercy of higher forces.  You are already there from what I gather.  What you need to do is enter into training that will put you on a level playing field with what is exerting such influences on you.

The demons you have to control are within you, and always have been.  There is something in you that is very powerful that either leads you into catalyst situations to which it knows that your gifts will react, or is reacting to situations that you find yourself within in the ways that lead to the sensations, good and bad, that you have experienced.

I walk the path of ceremonial magic.  What I would do, were I you would be to first start banishings at least once a day.  A very simple for of this is the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP). For this to work, you must do a series of visualizations, motions, and prayers.  The next step would be to put yourself in touch with that which is within you that is causing manifestation of the gifts.  Evocations would work best for this.  What you would be doing is calling that part of your inner, hidden self into manifestation outside yourself for a bit of a get-to-know-you conversation and to subjugate it to your will instead of having it control you as it has been doing.  This is just a first step, but a very powerful one.  The full aspect of the path would be to put yourself in touch with the higher parts of your soul.  This is called many things, Knowlege and Conversation with your Holy Guardian Angel, Golden Communion, and the Great Work  are just a few examples.  Even this, although told through literature on the subject that it is the grand goal of the working, I think is just a first step.

A great book to begin with if you wish to pursue this path is Modern Magick by Donald Micheal Kraig.  He goes into more areas than any other book.  He doesn't go into much detail, but he does give rather extensive reading lists at the back of each of the eleven lessons.  Although the book is only eleven lessons, don't think its quick and easy.  It is neither, especially if you read the support material.  Takes a couple of years, but control will come quickly and by the end, you should be able to attain the Knowledge and Conversation.

Bloodsong

[2weird4me]

Thanks much for the help bloodsong (and others).  I'll definitely check out the reading you suggested.  I'm currently looking at other alternatives also, such as herbs and such to cleanse myself and my surroundings.  
I've actually encountered another happening since I've last posted here.  Nothing too dramatic, just took a shower the other day, went to the bedroom to get dressed and went back to the bathroom a couple minutes later and everything from my counter and shelves was placed in my bathtub.  Maybe there was an earthquake or something, but doubt that it'd only effect my bathroom  heh.
Once again, thanks for your input