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Two Worlds

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Frère

When like today I find steps toward a kind of possession where my face is driven toward positive and encouraging ideas, I start to remember the times where this path leaded me to a forced stay by the side of ignorant but caring doctors. I wonder if being enlightened will necessary mean feeling depressed having to be alone, and stop counting on the help of people who, just because they think they can help, omit to consider how narrow are our points of views.

The bad side means, for me right now, tobacco, night clubbing, sex, money, and ignorance...

My problem today is that for the third time in my life, when I feel my feet buzzing all day long, I fear. When I accept to question my point of view, protection and peace comes and comforts me... but what about the world I live in?

How shall I continue to live with people for whom my current false values are a sign of salvation... I really don't feel well... it would be so easy to follow those unexisting things who bring relief to me, and so hard to leave these, who want me good, physically, but tend to hurt... if they feel I leave... How can I hide? How can I escape from their control, without hurting them... actually nobody else down-here have been as helpful as they have.

I have accepted earlier even to die in order to be able to help other people... and now what I find harder is being able to live without hurting them... my own success seems only to be threat for some of those who love me... just because if I want to help, I realize I barely accept a higher position that would make of me a source of good.

daem0n

this is your life, and only yours
part with those who cannot let you be yourself, it is hard, but in time you will know that it leads to one thing
freedom
from loneliness too
Search for the cause of self, in self
To find everything and nothing

Frère

except links are sometimes knots

daem0n

check if all has been settled, and cut it (well, checking involes untying, still better than sitting)
Search for the cause of self, in self
To find everything and nothing

Frère

The "settle" term is right: I have made things with this intention: these things, I've paid them, and the price seems sad for everybody, although I notice joyfull new thing that blossomed.

I feel like the choice would be: try to change the world and be destroyed, or protect and love imperfection, and then last, and maybe evolve...

"setteling" for me was somehow trying to speed up an evolution, in order to end a cycle, and get some new... the result is weak compared to the effort... I'd say the success could be rated at say a brilliant 5%... much joy but so discreet, compared to the means...

Right now I would like to work in secret, because I realise how much more results can be found, while not trying to make things visible. I would like to be strong enough to huch, and keep a positive view although seeing the flaw.

daem0n

i act almost exclusively in secret, why bother ?
listen to your soul, you'll get the timing
in case you don't already do it, ask a question from behind the heart, and through crown through a tunnel upwards across the planes and dimensions, you will feel it, wait for an answer (high self? are you there? will do)
Search for the cause of self, in self
To find everything and nothing

Frère

Yes I actually do this... and get much more than answers, but I've got to admit it scares me: I often feel like I'm not doing things right, comparing to the wise thing that stays over there, so close...

This morning, after a night too short to be true, I saw people cleaning in the supermarket... And I thought: maybe they act in secret too... and I felt a little too paranoid...

I also fear to become some sort of shadow, or danger to myself... So many people out there confirm that's a possibility... too possible to feel safe...

daem0n

then bring it here
body will always be a puppet, remember
Search for the cause of self, in self
To find everything and nothing

Frère

in hard moments forums are too slow to be a confort
But I've got to admit I apreciate our little chat.