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what's going on with me??

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Ides315

Hey enderwiggin.

This should be in astral chat, or something.

Personal observation, chalk her up to experience, and move along. Quit looking, and your odds are better. Look for female friends, and then look for a relationship with one of them.

This girl is probably trying to give you a hint, without flat out telling you. A lot of people cannot standup and say something, worried about confrontation. If you want a good basis for a long lasting relationship, find a girl that can be your best friend, then worry about dating.

Best of luck.


Shayde

*Good advice Ides*

I just wanted to add in my two cents.

You say she is a year older than you? It is a proven fact that the female matures (in most aspects) faster than males. So techinically she is roughly aroud three years more mature than you. (Even if she doesn't act like it some times.) Speaking statisticly anyway, I don't know her personally, but that could be why she is talking down to you.

My advice for you is to let her go. I think at this point even a friend ship with her would be harmful because of your past together. Also quit harboring the negative feelings caused by your situation or else they will never go away!!!. Use your martial arts training to focus on more positive thoughts, thoughts of healing mentaly and spiritualy. If you do this, you will get over it.  Just remember quit harboring the bad negative thoughts. If you harbor them, you will never be able to heal from the damaged caused.

This is one of those situations where in a year you will look back and think "I was so dumb to hang on to her for so long when I should have been moving on." I know it's hard, especially when she was your first love, but like Ides said find a girl who is your best friend. A girl who is either your age or younger. Some one who is on the same wave length as you. =) Some one who doesn't patronize you. No one likes to be talked down too. You know? (I would kill my husband if he ever did that to me. lol)



To many stars, not enough sky.

Anonymous

Ides, you are probably right. My ex-girlfriend confuses me a lot by her actions and words and I sense that she is dropping me a hint. But she's very mature for her age, usually, and she seems to have been honest with me when we were together. You are also right about posting it in astral chat, but I do want to know how I can defend myself from negs at times like this. These are the emotions negs are attracted to, if I have my facts straight.

My plan for my ex-gf is simply to cease conversation with her. She talks to me online sometimes, and usually I get irritated from the conversations because of the way she talks to me. I don't tell her that I'm irritated, but instead I try to keep calm and just ignore it. I don't doubt that she'll IM me again about the letter I just sent her, even though I said I didn't want to talk about it with her. She's probably just as confused as I am for all I know and is probably acting this way because she might want to get back together with me again someday. I'm not even sure if I can stand being her friend though. The only thing I know is that she seemed perfect for me for a long time. Now that I have changed, I can't really use that relationship as experience because I have to find out what I want all over again. argh, life is confusing sometimes. I've decided to stop looking and just enjoy being single. Hey, I can make out with any girl I want now and it won't matter. I'm not settling for anything less than my soulmate as far as relationships go though. You are right, I do need some female friends. Thanks for your advice. How can I move this post to Astral Chat?

If you're going through Hell, keep going.   -Winston Churchill

They may take our lives but they shall never take our freedom!!!! -Braveheart

Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Well isn't THAT useful! -Simpsons

Ides315

Hey, enderwiggin.

Negs will attack you anywhere you are weak. Shayde is right about letting it go.

If she talks to you again like that, ask her not to. I have done this many times with people through my life. There is no reason for anyone to talk down to anyone else, no matter the situation.

Don't know how to move posts, maybe admin could help.

P.S. Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, as such it is also one of the hardest to figure out.

Best


Anonymous

Thank you all for your help. I'm feeling much better now than I was before. It's a shame I can't remain friends with her, but then, why would I want to if she's only going to hurt me by ignoring me? I told her that I cannot be her friend anymore because we have grown apart. She said she didn't think I wanted to get to know the new her, and I told her that i can't if we're living so far apart and if she doesn't email me to let me know what's up once in a while, which she doesn't do. I haven't emailed her since and I don't think I'll ever talk to her again. Coincidentally, I found a strange blue crystal that looks a lot like mica. I believe it has healing powers because I put it near my heart when I was feeling down about this whole stupid situation. I felt better almost immediately (does anyone know what it might be?) And I kept Shayde's advice in mind. Negs will attack wherever a person is weak. I have since been watching how they attack and countering by strengthening those areas. They put little thoughts in my head and I know they aren't worth persuing because they don't make any sense, so I stop thinking about them. Often I will start meditating and clear my mind. That helps a lot.

I don't know what I would do without your help. I am much better off now. Thanks a lot everyone for your help. This will be my last post for awhile.

If you're going through Hell, keep going.   -Winston Churchill

They may take our lives but they shall never take our freedom!!!! -Braveheart

The soul of any plant or creature is not something to disregard or disrespect.

Anonymous

About one year ago I broke up with my ex-girlfriend who was my first love. Or rather, she broke up with me. It's a long and complicated story but I guess I'll tell it anyway.

We met in high school and fell in love. Then she moved to Illinois and we had a long-distance relationship going, but it was off-and-on because we didn't want each other to feel trapped. We just kept coming back to each other, though. Then while we were not together for one of these times, she slept with this guy she was seeing. I didn't find out about it until she broke down and cried one night and told me a couple months later. I was not upset by this, because I understood where she was coming from. But I think it might have weakened my faith in the relationship. If she waited that long to tell me, what else has she been doing? Well, wouldn't you know, about a year later (last year) I ended up doing the same thing to her. She was hurt by it and broke up with me. I told her the day after it happened. I felt so bad about doing what I did, and I told her, but I guess she wasn't willing to give me another chance like I did with her.

This really devastated me inside and I wen't through a long period of depression. I think I am still going through it. I stopped caring about school, friends, even myself. I just wanted to die. But instead I got angry at her because she didn't contact me for a month and I was going to write her this letter telling her I didn't even want to be her friend anymore and not to talk to me anymore. But then she contacted me on AIM and called me the next day because I seemed mad (gee, I wonder why?). I told her how I felt and she told me she'd try to contact me more. I would write her 3 or 4 emails before she would respond, and her response was usually about two sentences long. This upset me, so over the summer, I told her off in an email and told her I just wanted a straight answer, that if she wanted to be my friend then say so and if not, then tell me so I can get on with my life. Well as I expected, she contacted me. I did not expect a phone call from her, however, and I had not called her for about a year before that because I could not justify calling her if she did not even make the attempt to email me once a month. Her reaction was not what I was expecting. The tone of her voice was somewhat observational/ talking from an objective point of view, which really ticked me off. Here I was in this emotional state and this is how she responds? I wondered if it had anything to do with her dating a psychologist but I don't want to base my judgements on stereotypes. Anyway, she promised once again to make a real effort to contact me, but I haven't seen anything from her. So I wrote her a letter and told her that I'm not over her yet and I need to cease contact with her until I figure out what the hell's going on inside of me. I do not know whether I can be her friend or not. I've tried but I don't feel like she has. I can't say I want her back as a girlfriend because I don't agree with her actions, nor do I know the reasons for them. She doesn't explain anything. Whenever I talk to her online she talks down to me as if I'm a child, even though she's only a year older than me. She says stuff like "well you are still young, you have plenty of time to find your soulmate." No sh&* Sherlock. I don't talk to her about this because there are too many little things like this that just bug the crap out of me. I'm not sure what I want right now, but I know I don't want her back. She was controlling during the relationship anyway and I don't need her telling me what to do with myself. I get such negative feelings when I talk to her. I get depressed, I get angry and irritated, I get frustrated, and I can't understand why she says some of the things she says. It just doesn't make any sense to me, so I wrote her that letter.

Basically I feel that our breakup has caused me to become very depressed and because of that I think I have made some mistakes out of my confusion, and even lowered my standards until I recently raised them again. I don't know what I want in a girl anymore. I thought she was the one for me but obviously she's not. I'm wondering if I have negs attached to me or whether I am simply suffering from the wounds of their attacks. As they say, time heals all wounds, but time is so damn slow. Got any way to speed up the healing process? I could really use a trip to the Buddhic plane but since I haven't even achieved a real-time projetcion yet, that's not going to happen anytime soon.

If you're going through Hell, keep going.   -Winston Churchill

They may take our lives but they shall never take our freedom!!!! -Braveheart

Ooh, a sarcasm detector. Well isn't THAT useful! -Simpsons