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Free Love!! Get it while it's hot!!

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Windameir

Hi Jilola,
I think you might have missed a very important point You said

"But when you think about love earned there's always the notion of obligation. "I did this and that and now you gotta love me."
I don't think there is a way to force someone to love you.  

And the thought of obligation has no place in Love it is freely Given and Received and should carry no thought of any kind of reward or payment. But I think you can earn Love by kindness, careing, going out of your way to make someone feel loved or just feel comfortable, make them laugh, make them a special suprise dinner, ever make a bath with candles and bubbles for your special person?(Man or Woman) You might try something like it after they have put in a hard day, but remember expect noting in in return ...... you might be suprised by what you receive.

Much Love
Happy Travels
Windameir

jilola

But that'ss what I said. Love cannot be earned. and that earned love has the obligation stuck to it. I think my english mayhave been a bit convoluted.

Love is an absolute in my belief. It is and should be something that stands apart from anything we do or have in the physical. Affection, desire, lust annd thekind are something else. They can arise from the physical plane only but Love is.  Just that;it is and thus it can only be given and not earned by any action.


2cents & L&L
Jouni

kakkarot


kiauma

You need to read 'The Mastery of Love' by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Non semper ea sunt quae videntur.

jilola

Kiauma: Thanks for the tip. I'll see if I can find the book.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

The AlphaOmega

Love itself is the reward.  Demaning love in return for something isn't love at all.  There is only pure love and anything else is not a form of love.
"Discover your own path to enlightenment with diligence".
              - Buddha

jilola

AlphaOmega: Right on. That' my point exactly.

Something else occured to me. There is ony one kind of love regardless of who it's felt for. It's only the manner in which the love is expressed that changes. The way lovers (as in a sexual relationship) express love twards each other is different from the way a parent expresses his or her love for the children etc. Same underlying love but a different expression of it.

Order now! You receive the following free gift:

It's not possible to fall into love. It's entirely possible to fall into desire ro lust and from there to discover love.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

kiauma

Q:  How do you fall in love?

A:  Let yourself.
Non semper ea sunt quae videntur.

jilola

Kiauma: You're correct in saying that the way to fall in love, as the usual expression goes, is to let go of one's self-imposed reluctrance to step over the egde-so to speak.

But I still maintain that there's a difference between discovering your love and the usual falling metaphor. The latter implies an uncontrolled and blind process that more often than not is caused by something on the  physical level of things.
I'm not saying that is a bad thing as long as one doesn't become lost in it.
Love needs attention. Without mindfulness it becomes clouded and gets confused with the everyday humdrum sentiments and slowly but surely becomes a thing that is taken for granted.

This actually parallels the much disputed "Love is the Law. Love under Will." Love needs to be a conscious state of affairs. It's that important.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

kiauma

Relax Jil, 'letting yourself' as stated is a willful act.  [;)]
Non semper ea sunt quae videntur.

jilola

Come on, let a guy work up a good panic for once [:D]

You are, of course, correct.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

kiauma

Non semper ea sunt quae videntur.

kiauma

Non semper ea sunt quae videntur.

Lighthouse

quote:
Originally posted by jilola



After a moment of introspection and a lot of meditation something I feel is profound came to me. You can't deserve or earn love. There's nothing you can do to earn it. You can only receive it when it's freely given. Conversely you should give your love freely and without the expectation of a reward.  Trite huh?



Jouni,

If only we could remember this instead of holding people accountable for our feelings, I beleive we'd be 95% of the way there.  The problem is as you stated, we expect things in return, forgetting that it is a joy just to give it... We also forget the Universal laws that whatever you give you also receive.  If we give love without strings, it will come back to us tenfold... without strings.  Perhaps not from the object of our adoration, however, it will come back none the less.

Love, Love, Love... Love is all there is.



Kerri
http://www.divinewithin.com - Uncovering the Divine Within
http://www.worldawakened.com - World Awakened
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/worldawakened - World Awakened Talk Radio
http://www.innercirclepublishing.com - InnerCircle Publishing

Avalon

Okay, jilola, I've got a question for you pertaining to love and sex (not to bring the conversation "down" at all)...

Most people will probably disagree with me on this subject, I bet, but I'm wondering where the connection is between sex and love.  I don't equate the two.  As a matter of fact, I see sex as a basic primitive instinct (whether it be for the need of physical attention or procreation).  How in the heck did people equate love and sex??

I wonder how often the equation lends itself to sexual dysfunction (mental not physical) in and outside of marriage.  

By the way, this is a great conversation.
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a  well  preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting,

". . . holy sh*t . . . what a ride!"

jilola

Sex is one possible way of physically manifesting Love.
Sex can arise out of Love but Love can't arise from sex.

Now someone is bound to disagree and point out that two people can find love after a period of mechanical sex and in a sense they'd be right. But the Love didn't arise form the sex but from the closeness and time spent together and therefore the increased understanding and intimacy between the two persons.

People have confused Love and sex to be the same as both cause similar sensations of bliss and peace. But in the case of sex it only lasts a few moments and once worn off a person craves to experience it again. And again... which often leads people to become addicted to sex or to feeling that their relationship is declining as the sensation of the sexual bliss decreases. Think about building a tolerance to a drug and you'll see the mechanism. The usual level of activity isnät fulfilling anymore but the cause isn't apparent so people think something is wrong with the relationship.

Sex, or rather the drive for it, is both an instinct and a reflection (albeit often subconscious) expression of Love.

My apologies if the above is a bit disjointed;I wrote it at work.

2cents &L&L
jouni

Avalon

jilola, I completely agree with you on all levels.  What you wrote made a lot of sense to me.  

Don't get me wrong though, I think sex is an important aspect of a relationship for various reasons.  The waning and waxing quality of it in a long term relationship is concerning at times but it certainly doesn't define love or my relationship.  I do think sex can be an expression of love if one chooses to make it so because of it's level of intimacy.

Thanks for your input!

D
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a  well  preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting,

". . . holy sh*t . . . what a ride!"

jilola

Sex in important to some and less important to others.
Sometimes there's more of it, sometimes it's better than other times.
All that isn't really an indication of Love in a relationship and to judge Love by the amount or quality of sex is a sure way to find trouble in one's relationship.

2cents & L&L
jouni

halfphased

I hope that it is oakaley dokeley to to quote from books on here, but in Swami Satyananda Saraswati's "Kundalini Tantra":

"Energy at different levels is known by different names.  At the highest level it is called spiritual experience.  On the emotional level it is known as love.  On the physical level it is known as sex, and at the lowest level it is known as avidya or ignorance.  So therefore, when you talk about sex, you must understand that it is only a particular formation of energy.  Just as curd, butter, and cheese are different formations of the on thing -- milk, energy has differnet manifestations.  Matter is the grossest manifestation of energy; in the ultimate state, matter is energy.  Therefore, energy and matter are intra-convertible.  A thought is an object and an object is a thought.  This body is consciousness and consciousness has become this body.  In the same way that you understand this, you have to reanalyze and redefine sexual awareness.
The rishis say that the same energy which flows through passion, when channelled, manifests as devotion.  Channel this same energy again and it manifests as spiritual experience.  That is why spiritual aspirants love God in various manifestations.  Some picture him as a father, a mother, a child, a friend, husband or lover.  IN this way, they can sublimate the form of their emotional energy and even transform the primal energy into a divine experience."

jilola

I'm not quite certain I can completely agree with the good Swami.
The thing that one reading these texts must bear in mind is that they speak in the voice of narrating the state of their perceived reality.

In the case of Swami here says for example
quote:
The rishis say that the same energy which flows through passion, when channelled, manifests as devotion

which is correct in his reality. But as we can all see in our own realities this is not always so. More often than not this passion does not result on devotion for your everdya Joe and Jill.

The difference between most of us and the good Swami is that he has chosen it to be thus and accepted it as the basisi for his perception of the reality.

We can do the same but it's not easy as we undoubtedly have all experienced.

2cents & L&L
jouni

BlackTalon



I find if you do things for other people ( kind things ) you recieve a kind of love or just a satisfaction in doing it because little things like a smile or saying hi to someone as you walk by goes a long way. That one smile effects everyone that person meets that day to some degree. At least thats how I like to look at it. In deciding to ignore someone as they walked by and said hi could effect more than one person negetivly depending on how that person took things. That person could think i'm unworthy of acceptance and carry on in a bad mood or have low self asteem throughout the day...or they could just smile and not think twice about it

Kodemaster

I feel that being positive in general helps generate positive energy from others, in the sense that you bring out the best in people. Like attracts like. I do my best and try to smile all time, make people laugh and build them up. If more people did that the world would be a better place. [:D]
JenX
Choose empathy. It costs nothing.
Curious about #Welsh? https://www.youtube.com/@JenXOfficialEDM Learn with us!

Reality

quote:
Originally posted by Kodemaster

I feel that being positive in general helps generate positive energy from others, in the sense that you bring out the best in people. Like attracts like. I do my best and try to smile all time, make people laugh and build them up. If more people did that the world would be a better place. [:D]



Oh that's so true! A true smile supported by happy/funny feelings works like a charm! (every girl will notice I tell ya! ;))

I think the best way for 'love' to work, is when it's unconditional, I mean expecting something in exchange makes it feel dirty to me anyway!

BlackTalon

quote:
Originally posted by runlola




What about when you smile at a guy & the nutball thinks you want him. [8D]



Then RUN LOLA RUN!!!...er I duno, guess theres nothing wrong if he thinks you like him..

nrishiraj

How do you define love?

What is love?

One definition is: Love is the balance of all things.