Welcome to Tak's Journal - LD & APs -

[Tak]

Hi Suzie, thanks for the nice words   

I suggest you to start a dream journal, it will be amazing! Every day when you wake up, write down your dreams in great detail, including your feelings about them. You will see that from a few lines you will go on to write full pages in a few months. It will be very fun and you will learn relevant aspects of your own consciousness.

Hugs ♥

[Suziefish]

thanks Tak your encouragement warms my heart
I write them,
just not approaching your detail
soon, perhaps in June,
I will write them here,
yes, listening to who I really might be
is hilarious !! ((new directions every day !!

you inspire me !!

[Nameless]

Tak, your experiences are beautiful and incredible. We have a lot in common. Whether it's a LD, a meditation or whatever type of experience I love to go with flow and get the most out of it. I rarely feel a need to manipulate the outcome,

I wonder at all the people, guides, entities and so forth that come to hold my hand or offer instruction might just be us; you, me, others. Like that little boy you sat with. As the years go by for him I wouldn't be surprised that he always remembers that time an "angel" visited his class. He'll likely have questions, maybe never even share that with anyone but I bet he will remember it always.

One of the hardest things I think we humans have the hardest time conceptualizing is that we are indeed beings of a dual nature. Thank you for a most enjoyable read.

[Tak]

Thank you both very much for your nice words, I really value each of them I want to tell you that all of you are also an inspiration to me and I am very grateful to have this little corner here at Pulse. 

Here it comes a bit long one... so prepare the popcorn!

I have a strong Hypnagogia, all this while I continue lying on my bed with my eyes closed.  I see different things, geometric shapes, but as if they were chiseled on a violet metallic surface, there are small squares and circles, I perceive undulation and movement in everything. Dancing black lines also appear on a green background. Now, a beautiful little girl is seeing a hole in the ground next to her parents, she tells them, it's full of gold! And his mother answers, yes, there are many shiny stones here honey. Jungle plants open as I float across a path. Then, I go through a three-dimensional tunnel in the black, there are objects floating around, there are spheres and many colors. I asked to know when one of my past lives on Earth was, and a very clear voice said 1385, I see a city made of adobe and stone and all has the same yellowish color. There is a steep street and vases next to the houses. A young woman with a green tunic, a veil of the same color, dark skin and green eyes dances and sings through the streets feeling free and happy, she has a sweet look and I feel IT'S ME. I also saw beautiful mountains behind a green field, and I wonder where that strange and beautiful country could it be. Woah!

Now I perceive myself without a body, I am just a point of consciousness in the air... I remember that 12 years ago, the first time I experienced that, I was totally terrified, one is used to inhabiting different bodies, whether physical, holographic, energetic... But not having a body can be overwhelming the first time and I was always afraid of experiencing this again. However, in this new stage, this state for me is very common and in fact the normal state of consciousness... that made me happy, it smells like progress to me. I don't know how to explain, that I was very aware of the transition from being a point of consciousness to getting involved in the scene... I had to make "the step" towards in, but for that I needed to use some kind of body... So, with memories of what it felt like to have a physical body, I created an invisible holographic one and entered. I start running very fast through dark streets and I lose awareness.

When I come back to awareness, I find myself in The Old Mansion, this place again! Sometimes it changes its appearance, and can be very luxurious and beautiful, gloomier or with a dirty and abandoned appearance. In this case it was the latter, the floor was made of swollen and creaking wood, there was little light because the windows were closed and there was even a musty smell... everything a little dusty. Sometimes this Mansion functions as a hotel, but in many cases, mostly, it is a school, where I also live with my classmates, and we have our rooms. In this case, when I became aware, I woke up in the bed in this place, it's funny that I fell asleep here and woke up there lol That usually happens to me in different contexts. The funny thing was that I was sleeping with many people in the same bed, a huge bed! But don't think badly, that's not what you're thinking about, we were more like little brothers sleeping innocently together... I get up and I'm very disoriented, I want to know what time it is, but it's so dark that it's hard to know if it's day or night. I asked everyone why we had to live like this, always with the shutters closed and in the dark. Something strange, at that moment I felt very aware, however now I don't remember exactly what I experienced there, I only know that I was attending different classes in different classrooms with the others, but I don't remember exactly what happened, I just know that we did a lot of things, and it was fun. I guess they don't allow us to remember everything.

At one point something in particular happened, I was left alone in the hallways of the Mansion and I began to think on the fact that the teachers told me that I had to take a class again, and I would have to repeat the lesson, I had not tried hard enough and I had missed many classes. At that moment I did not make sense of it, however, I realized that it was an analogy to life, that an unlearned lesson was the reason for returning to the physical, I had had to return because I had not tried hard enough and I lost valuable opportunities, that's why I had to do it again... I felt sadness, frustration and I was very angry (with myself) I said that I didn't want to go back again, I didn't want to incarnate again, and I knew that I had to keep doing it because of those unfinished subjects. I started crying and running through the hallways and I was so, so angry, that I decided to start a huge fire! LOL   I want to say that all this surprises me a lot, many times my non-physical personality does not correspond to my personality here, I am not like that, I do not consider myself an angry person, on the contrary. But in the non-physical sometimes I do things and have different behaviors. 

*Little Pause and Note*: I think that sometimes (not always) these behaviors are due to a fluctuation in the level of awareness, if my awareness is lower, I tend to have more instinctive and aggressive reactions, especially if I feel confused and threatened in lucid dreams. In the past when I feared something, I used to turn into a black panther or a huge snake, I never attacked anyone, I only did it to intimidate . Luckily it doesn't happen to me now. However, when my awareness is high (the same as here or even higher) I would never do something like that! Since I can think more accurately and resolve situations. This is where it is time to understand, as Nameless told me, our dual nature and accept ourselves. I think we come here above all to learn to manage this duality in us. Furthermore, in the astral everything feels more intense, perhaps it's the reason to be more difficult to manage emotions. But I feel like I'm doing better every time, I consider myself a very analytical and self-critical person, when these things happen, I am very aware of what I should work on and improve, always with Love.

And I also wonder what I have actually interpreted in this state of fluctuating awareness, since I had recently had a very beautiful, but opposite experience, where I was also very aware of the switch from being a point of consciousness to inhabiting a holographic body. At that moment I was able to fully understand how beautiful it is that consciousness is capable of inhabiting and traveling through different bodies and interacting in different dimensions, including the physical. To expand, to grow, to know... a gift and a great opportunity. I felt part of a beautiful project and grateful. But this time I considered the incarnation from a different point of view, perhaps as I could see it several years ago and not now, as something limiting, when in reality it is the opposite, it is ourselves who create our own mental cages and the only ones responsible of getting out of it. We never stop being free! We just forget it.

We continue...

I visualized the fire in my mind, and I began to concentrate on it, and I set the entire room on fire. I felt the heat and put my hands in the fire and something incredible happened, I felt a cool breeze and my hands were surrounded by a beautiful and very bright turquoise flame. After seeing what I had caused, I was very scared of my disrespect, but my instinctive reaction was very physical. Instead of turning it off, I ran to ask my colleagues for help, when I found them, I told them that we had to flee quickly because there was fire, and I opened the door to leave the Mansion... They didn't let me do it and they wanted to see the fire, they didn't understand what was going on. However, when we arrived at the place, a rain had extinguished everything! Someone did it for me, it was raining inside the structure, and nothing had been burned, I was very surprised by this. After that, I pretended that nothing happened and we continued with classes, I decided that I was going to get less angry, and study more, I felt that my anger was due to lack of understanding and full perception of things, because my awareness increased thanks to my colleagues.

This time I do remember that we were with a teacher, she was very sweet and kind to us, despite being more advanced, she did not seem authoritarian. What surprised me the most was her bone structure, she seemed to be about three meters tall and had a huge body, she was almost like a giant, while we were smaller, I didn't concentrate in class because I was doing this comparison of bodies, coming to the conclusion that it was probably my way of interpreting that she is somehow more spiritually advanced than us, seeing her huge.

Suddenly I don't know how, I see myself entering a very particular room through a very old door, in this room there is nothing solid, there is only energy, I still have a body, but I float in a yellow, pink and light blue nebula... It is wonderful to be there, I feel free and happy, I feel that my thoughts can shape anything and there is absolute creativity. Now some little animals that look like gray mice, although they are not, follow me floating and walk all over my body, I love them! and they love me too. When I held one, it was literally like holding a small mouse, very squishy, extremely delicate, warm and soft. I felt like I recovered from the previous crisis there LOL.

Suddenly, I find myself outside the Mansion, inside a bus full of students, I decide to get off with my classmates at a particular stop, in front of a beautiful Precious Stones's Museum. There was a huge sign on the door that said "Petra" its meaning is stone in Greek. I was surprised at how well I read that sign. Upon entering through some huge old doors, I don't see the museum, but a very long street with beautiful colonial houses, mostly blue and white with thousands of details and beautiful architecture. At the end of the street, it was a silver river and behind a violet, pink and blue sky, it's sunset... All this gives me such a great emotion that I start to run very fast and scream, but I try to control myself or I could wake up...

When I reach the river, I am taken in the air by The Guiding Force, and we begin to travel. Looking around, I realize that I am not traveling alone, but about 15 people are in the air with me this time! All being carried by this Guiding Force, it is the first time I see other people traveling with me, because I always go alone. At one point I look at a boy next to me and we smile as if to say, huh!? I don't know what's going on here, just enjoy! We are taken across the river, entering a dam that turns into a swamp, there are some white boats there, it looks like a dock with a small harbor. At that moment while we were traveling in the air, I remember a friend telling me how nice it would be to have a boat and live on it, go out of the city and earn money taking tourists for rides, I thought that if I could do that I would love to live in the sea LOL. I don't know how all that came to my mind at that moment.

We arrived at an island and entered into a huge structure, it was like a temple, it was not made for human proportions because it was very large, columns about 30 meters high, and doors of the same size as well, Greek style. Inside there were giant statues that seemed alive, and we were all stunned, even a little scared I would say, that place was imposing and very beautiful. The Guiding Force took us towards a kind of theater where we sat in seats... and when things were going to get interesting... I entered the Void and began to rise and saw something very strange, a carpet made of flowers sliding on over me, I decided to fly towards it, and I started to see the flowers in more detail. But when I mixed with them, I came back. Always ending the experience in the most surreal way  

I haven't created my Gardens yet, because it takes me a while to remember what I intend to do when I project. This time I let myself flow by the context and it was the best I could do. However, other times nothing happens, and I start walking through empty white rooms without people... as if the environment was waiting for me to take the initiative. In those cases, I hope I remember to do this, which is an activity that I really enjoyed. However, I've been dreaming (not lucidly) about being in beautiful forests and gardens, so my subconscious is starting to catch on.

[Suziefish]

sounds like an April First Adventure !!
thank-you :

[Nameless]

Nice. Have realized what the mansion represents? EV and I have been talking quite a bit about the mansion lately and here you adding your experiences. Guess we all got stuff to think about.

[Tak]

Nice. Have realized what the mansion represents? EV and I have been talking quite a bit about the mansion lately and here you adding your experiences. Guess we all got stuff to think about.

Wow Nameless! It's interesting that you've been talking about The Old Mansion! In fact, until I found the Pulse last year, I didn't know this was a recurring place, I thought it was just another one of my traumas, lol.  I really don't have the slightest idea what it could represent, I haven't started reading Kurt Leland's book yet, we'll have to see if he says something about it.

However, I have been to another recurring place, like the famous Library, when I was 16, my Guide took me there and I saw the Guardian, everyone was wearing robes and it looked like ancient Greece... there was no roof, but I could see the stars. I had never read anything about it at the time and it was definitely not a common LD, because that's how I felt. One of my greatest wishes is to be able to go back there, I don't want to force it, I just make the request... I was at the doors of a library at another projection recently, but they didn't open the door for me even though I knocked very loudly, and a "security" man came to throw me out of there... I had to run away. Maybe better, because I had completely forgotten what I wanted to ask HA! 

On the other hand, I have been a little impressed that in Dolores Cannon's book Between Death and Life, I have found that a patient described a place in the astral as a beautiful temple made of pure gold, with thousands of details and drawings engraved on its walls, that reminded him of filigree and were inlaid with precious stones... some time ago I published here that I usually see that place in the Hypnagogic state. Then I start thinking about the Hypnagogic state and what we are actually doing, what is happening there, there is much more than just imagery... sometimes one have to pay attention and take notes, this state can be a real portal.

[EscapeVelocity]

Tak-
Nameless, Lumaza and I have discussed the Old Mansion for a few years now; your recent mention of it was enough to start a new conversation of the concept last week; and then you added to the discussion with even further excellent insights...thank you for that! The discussion is ongoing and we are not necessarily ready to fix a name to it; we have all experienced it from slightly different angles or perspectives.

Kurt Leland doesn't address the Old Mansion concept directly, but I think his ideas should resonate with you and may, over time, offer deeper insights into all these experiences.

Personally, the events that led me to Old Mansion understanding, were late teenage semi-lucid and lucid dreams that involved a recurring house environment. In my case, the house was always run down, in disrepair, ready to be torn down with holes in the roof and rain coming in, broken windows, dirt, dust, rotted wood everywhere...in my late teens and early twenties, I realized this house was a Non-Physical, psychological and energetic representation of how I subconsciously considered my Life. It was a difficult and disturbing and depressing recurring semi-lucid dream, but the metaphor was fairly obvious to me. This was how I viewed my life in NP terms.

In the following decades, I returned to that dream house or similar versions of it many, many times; and over time, I realized repairs had been made- no broken windows, no rain coming in...at some point activity and 'life' was observed returning to this house...however, the house was still just a house- two levels, maybe three or four bedrooms, two baths...nothing 'mansion-like'...during that same time, my own personal life came into a more clear vision for me as my personal issues slowly resolved and conditions improved.

In my late thirties something changed about the 'house', and the change hasn't really coalesced in my mind until more recently, with further discussions among my friends on the Pulse, and now your comments Tak, have opened the matter once again for discussion.
I did not realize it at the time, but my experiences had shifted Non-Physically, from my personal 'house' to a still-energetic, but much larger structure- I still considered it my 'big house'...the experiences within this structure had transformed rather dramatically- I was encountering people and animals and situations that I had not experienced before...many were strange, frustrating and mystifying...I thought originally that this was a natural evolution of my original 'personal house'...but now I realize this perception was possibly wrong; this was something similar, but entirely new. This new house, like you wrote so insightfully Tak, has new qualities- It appears to us as different, depending on our particular needs...the rooms can be full of people or furniture or they can be empty...the number of rooms seems nearly endless, in the hundreds...and the entire complex seems at times, to be much like a personal home or as a fairly vast hotel or resort. It changes...which my intuition tells me now that it is NOT my creation, but a NP energetic construct with a design and purpose and we utilize it as we imprint our energies and intent into it.

I have been lost, exploring countless rooms...many empty, many with people, often what I realize now were other 'Sleepers'. The empty rooms, I realize are just empty 'projection' rooms waiting for a guest to impart sufficient intent in order for the room to manifest in response...maybe, maybe not...otherwise that is A LOT of unused rooms, lol! Many times, I am looking for something in particular, some ridiculous little item, and I can retrace my path through multiple rooms and secret corridors and stairways, only to get frustratingly lost or distracted after multiple attempts.

Then there is the 'hotel' quality to the place- Sometimes, I can distinctly remember walking past the reception desk. It is only after years that I begin to realize this is possibly the same place, with only minor but NP variations; but still, importantly, the same place in the NP (Non-Physical).

Here is an experience that I think, showcases the 'Old Mansion/Hotel/Resort' where I experienced maybe not a 'simulation', but rather a complete lesson at the Learning center, itself...for me, it notably involved another likely sentient being, probably a 'sleeper'...poor guy, lol.

https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome-to-dreams!/clue-less/

[LightBeam]

What comes to mind is that the mansion with its countless rooms is a blueprint/templates for physical world/experiences creation. I may be far from what you guys think of the mansion/house, but it can serve many purposes and show reflections of our physical personal reality as well. Or show us various possibilities for directions we can take should we chose different actions.

[Nameless]

Hi again, I want to address another point you brought up.

"Now I perceive myself without a body, I am just a point of consciousness in the air... I remember that 12 years ago, the first time I experienced that, I was totally terrified, one is used to inhabiting different bodies, whether physical, holographic, energetic... But not having a body can be overwhelming the first time and I was always afraid of experiencing this again. However, in this new stage, this state for me is very common and in fact the normal state of consciousness... that made me happy, it smells like progress to me. I don't know how to explain, that I was very aware of the transition from being a point of consciousness to getting involved in the scene... I had to make "the step" towards in, but for that I needed to use some kind of body... So, with memories of what it felt like to have a physical body, I created an invisible holographic one and entered. I start running very fast through dark streets and I lose awareness."

Great observations, you are much further along than you realize. The simulation is teaching you the how to's. So far I have found there to be very few boundaries as a p.o.c. (point of consciousness). You will find as you progress that you won't need to create a body. I'll let you discover that for yourself. Good times.

EV really broke it down here. The Mansion/House/Hotel is still a source of contemplation for us so welcome to the club. One thing I think I can point out (at least to my mind) is that ALL of this exploration seems to have more than one level. What I mean to say is that we can go to the simulated mansion to learn. Later we find ourselves there to put what we learn to use. Does that make sense?

[Tak]

I love hearing about your adventures in The Old Mansion EV, thank you! We have a pretty similar description of it. I had read your Clue(less) thread some time ago, but I read it again, because it's so good! It's really fascinating that we all have similar experiences in these particular energy structures. A while ago, I had searched for the meaning of what the Mansion would represent in dreams and I found something very similar to what you describe, however, I was not sure. Now I corroborate it. Sometimes it's very pretty, but in most cases, it is not, it is the typical Haunted Mansion, you know LOL.

Things have been emotionally difficult for me lately, so I'm not surprised to see The Old Mansion in this way, but I know that difficult times in life have always been the kick-start to make a big positive change. However, I can see how these negative emotions affect my projections. Yesterday I was able to create the Garden! However, it was dark, with thickets, a lagoon with stagnant water and thousands of insects flying. To make matters worse, when I realized I was sitting over a snake, can you believe it? I had to run away. I love it because there is no way to lie here, the subconscious shows us things as they are, otherwise there would be no way to repair them! I hope things get better. However, it seems a little funny to me... 😛 

Good reflection, LB! I think that each room can be like a place to project different scenes or also lessons from our instructors. Once, I went into one of these rooms in the Mansion, I didn't want to, but I felt I MUST and it was disgusting what I found there... people having orgies (lust) vices and drugs, a really low, dense and dark place ...I didn't want to be there, but I felt like it was some kind of test that I had to pass... I walked through all this watching until I had to run away because I almost vomited, but those people started chasing me and sticking to me like leeches, something really scary! I was able to free myself with a lot of love and a lot of light that I sent them, and they did not feel interested, so I was able to go out. A hard experience! Each room, a box of surprises, but everything has a purpose.

Thank you very much Nameless for your feedback! I'm sure it's like you say, we don't need to create a body, I've tried to do it without it, but I find myself so physically conditioned right now that I'm finding difficult not having one, especially when I need to slide. But I hope that one day I won't be so bound by physical conditioning.

We'll see what new adventures The Old Mansion has in store for us. 

Not all my experiences are nice, but they all have something to teach me, that's the important thing.

Thank you very much for your comments! 😊 ♥

[Lumaza]

 I have thoroughly been enjoying the conversation on the "Mansions"! Thank You for that! 

 I have found, (through many Mansion-like experiences), that the Mansion can be whatever it "needs" to be. I have seen it as a hotel, with front desk and bellhops to boot. I have seen it as a Magickal Palace, full of all kinds of unique Magickal items. I have seen it antique and even seen it as a newer, more recent Mansion. I know it is basically the same place because of the "feel" of it. That seems to be the one constant in all of my mansion experiences. You just know it for some reason. All and all, It seems to be a great "training ground".

[Tak]

Hypnagogic State:
I begin to have strong fractal figures visuals of a very intense green, at times I see people intermingled in them, who seem to want to form themselves from these figures, but they are unable to do it completely. I see three-dimensional cubes and wavy shapes, as if it were filigree, there are circles hanging from threads and the colors are yellow, turquoise, red and green. There are also some white rectangular shapes with rounded edges, overlapping, which invite you to get inside them and discover what is there. I also heard electric sounds... now everything takes on a yellow and orange tone and for some reason I felt as if I were looking at myself in a multi-faceted mirror, where all that energy reflected was alive and was myself... I begin to lose more connection with my physical body, and I am more like a point of consciousness, but I still partially feel my body in the bed. 

I'm in a folded paper world now, yeah! Like the famous origami figures, many of those shapes reminded me of paper windmills made in childhood, some animals... and everything still had the same duo tone. At that moment I felt that this was the place I frequently went to during my childhood, I felt that it was my true home, that abstract and thought moldable special world, it was like being 5 years old again, a world which I always went to play for a while and then forget when I returned to Earth. And again, I feel that everything is alive, that energy that I see manifested IS ME, it is a mirror of my own consciousness and my own mind... As I navigate through that place, I feel that there are "people/beings" hidden among the folded paper, but I don't want to discover them, it scares me a little and I don't want to socialize. I began to feel more and more disconnection, almost as if I were floating, and I really felt at that moment that it is an illusion to be tied to the physical plane, if our mind is free, so are we, we are as free as we think we are. It is a matter of how deep we decide to dive into the sea of consciousness.

Something I'm trying to do now is manipulate these visuals a little bit, until now I hadn't tried it, but at one point I started to see metallic rings of many colors, and I decided to form a cone by overlapping all these huge rings... and it worked! It was wonderful. It's fun to play with shapes. Then a scene begins to form, and I decide to create fireworks, I see how the fires are launched into the sky and explode in thousands of intense and beautiful colors. All this surprises me so much that I woke up.

Usually, my hypnagogic states begin on a pure abstraction plane and after a while begin to form complete scenes, however, sometimes these scenes appear directly, without first passing through the plane of abstraction and I wonder why. All this is not something that I have completely mastered, it is rather spontaneous. Sometimes there is no hypnagogic state at all and sometimes it is very strong. EV once said here that this is like riding a wild horse, I really liked that analogy. I would also describe it as walking a tightrope... it's a very dizzying moment. If we reach the other side successfully we will probably have a projection, but if we fall to one side, we may lose awareness or wake up with a start.
This state seems very impressive to me, it is something that I don't read much about and it completely catches my attention, being in bed with your eyes closed and entering these worlds where anything can happen is incredible and I think it deserves even a new chapter. We are seeing, hearing and feeling with our non-physical senses while we are still here, isn't it fascinating? Which again confirms that all dimensions are overlapping and it is our focus that determines where we really are.

In general, I reach these states by sleeping four and a half hours and waking up... I go to the bathroom and go back to bed right away. I do a series of long deep breaths, then I breathe normally and try to concentrate only on the breathing, I don't "join" the thought, I let them free, I observe them, until a dissociation occurs, and it seems that the mind takes on a life of its own. And I, the observer, encounters this huge new world that invites me to immerse myself on it, in order to discover our own being from a different point of view, and I let myself go by this living energy stream, as if I were on a boat floating adrift.

[Suziefish]

Wonderful picture !!

Awesome account !! A folded paper world .. WOW !!

Thank-you Tak,

Sincerely,
Susan

[tides2dust]

<3 I feel the heart in your experience.

Thank you for that sensation.

[Tak]

Inspired by some posts here at Pulse, related to AP and ETs, I tell you a particular one of my first experiences, from when I was six years old, at that age I began to have my firsts APs (spontaneous). It was very impressive to experience all this as a child and also a great gift that was always with me...

At that age, one night I was having a lucid experience where I was with my family at an amusement park and I decided to fly a little bit, until suddenly, I left the scene and found myself in front of a very particular creature... an alien! Why and how I got there I don't know, but when I saw him, I was completely stunned and I flew around him. It was similar to the gray ones, a huge head in proportion to the body, big black eyes, marked cheekbones and a deep face... the body was very thin, but he had different features, his skin was brown/coppery, somewhat shiny, as well as the shell of some insects, like cockroaches, and also his head had some protruding protuberances, just like the body. Although his physical appearance was quite intimidating, I was not scared by this. But, when I was close I could feel him... I could feel that he was emotionless, I felt an absolute coldness. 

Being in front of this being and feeling something so different gave me chills, I was really in front of a living, intelligent being, but one that was very different from humans. All his energy was different, the sensation is really not like being in front of another person, but with another type of body, it is something so different that surpasses my ability to describe it. That sensation made me go into absolute panic and suddenly I was completely paralyzed turning my back to him. Then, I felt him grab me with his hands, which were very cold and slippery/sticky like a reptile's. OMG! I thought I was going to die. I really couldn't believe that my short life ended like this, in the hands of an alien and in another dimension LOL. I felt so, so afraid... but then my body faded away and I entered the Void (because everything went black for a while) When I opened my eyes... I was back in my bed. I am very surprised that 28 years later, this memory is still as fresh as if I had experienced it yesterday, I had never let myself forget it.

At that moment for me the experience had been more than a dream and very real. I woke up very angry, damn! And I spent a long time in my room alone thinking about all this, I was truly terrified. But over time, I began to think that it was nothing more than a very realistic lucid dream of a little girl having her first experiences and not knowing how to deal with them. I would also like to say that the most curious thing for me had been that, as a child of the 90s, I had a very different concept of aliens, more trite of that time, little green men from Mars, with antennas and a fun or grumpy personality. Maybe more like Melvin the Martian or Gazoo from the Flintstones LOL. I didn't have in mind that image of the typical cold emotionless alien at six years old.

At 11 years old, I remember that I watched a documentary about the Varginha Brazil case, where in 1996 (the year of my experience, coincidentally) a UFO crashed in this town and supposedly an ET was captured by the authorities, when they showed the images of the ETs. ...They were 90% similar to what I had seen as a child, the only difference is that these ones had red eyes and the one I saw had black ones, but it was almost the same, brown body with bumps, etc... when I saw that, I couldn't believe it. I slept for a week with the lights on it was a remarkable coincidence. Another thing that caught my attention is that they usually describe that these ETs have cold and sticky hands as I felt at that moment, I had never heard that at that age, which increased my fear and I began to think that there was reality in what I lived as a child and it was more than a lucid dream. To this day I don't know what that was all about, and maybe I never will.

This little figure is actually very similar to what I saw, It looks very cute, but...  


But something very curious happened when I was 19 years old related to this creature, I have had some very particular dreams, which I feel have been flashes of past lives that my subconscious has shown me for some reason. At times I lived them in first person, and at times in third person, I do not control this experience, but I am more like an observer, however, I feel what the character is experiencing. The feeling of these dreams is different, that's why I suspect they are something else and it has happened to me 4 times.

One of them related to this kind of ET was the following... I become aware and I am submerged in a green liquid inside a huge tube, they have me in suspended animation sleeping, suddenly the chamber is open and I wake up, guess what... on this occasion I am that ET! I am in the middle of a rescue operation, they are rescuing me, since I belong to a slave species, who works for "The Giants" that is what I called them, I don't know what those ETs look like, my memory is blurry, I only know that they are huge and they measure about 5 meters and I belong to them. They are really scary, I was very afraid of them and if we don't work, they kill us, as simple as that... and I didn't want to lose my life, that's why I worked incessantly. When they don't need me, they put me in that tube to sleep, a horrible depressing life.

We are not on a planet, but on a base floating in space. Those who are rescuing me are human like, they look very similar to the description of the Pleiadians, blonde men and women with kind expressions, I think they have tight-fitting white rompers. I can't believe that someone is doing that for me, a worthless slave, and I feel very grateful. I don't know how they found our whereabouts, or how they knew me, but I didn't hesitate to go with them, because they explained it to me, calmed me down and encouraged me to do it. Since I knew the base perfectly, because I was born there, I was able to guide them through the way to hide well and finally get out. The whole time I was very afraid that the Giants find and kill us. At one point I thought they had discovered us, and I felt so sorry! But luckily not. I guess that's why I hate all kinds of oppression and to feel free is an invaluable treasure for me.

We passed through many different places, many passageways, green and black metal structures and there is where I was able to see my body reflected in a metal wall and I saw that I was very similar to the ET I saw when I was a child, but this time it was me. And the most interesting thing about the dream was that at times I did not see with normal vision, but rather I saw everything in infrared and ultraviolet, like insects. I think I saw this way in the darker areas and a large part of the dream unfolded through this type of vision. It seems that this being that I was, was not as cold and calculating as the image I had as a child, there was some emotion and reaction, perhaps not to a human degree, but I was not a robot either. Unfortunately, the scene cuts before I see how the mission turned out, but I feel like it was successful, we could escape, and I had a better life. I know this sounds like an episode of Star Wars, but it was so real to me at the time, that when I woke up, I was quite shocked. In general, my dreams are not so adventurous, I dream everyday life things with some surreal tinge, I only dream these types of things when watching a movie or reading a book and that had not been the case. It felt very different.

If this was really a flashback of a past life, in comparison this life is heaven, despite the crisis we are experiencing as humanity, I imagine that there are worse existences, even if it is difficult imagine something worse than Earth. I think the biggest challenge we face as humanity is dealing with our own mind and emotions, and despite the darkness of the world, make our self-light shines brightly. I am so grateful for this life! The love and Nature... And I wonder how many things we have been, so many types of beings that we have already lost count. I don't know what to think about all this, nor if the creature I saw as a child is the same as the one in my flashback dream. I have also read about simultaneous lives and who knows? I don't feel now with the courage to delve deeper into this, but in the future, it would be interesting to know more.

[Suziefish]

Thank-you Tak !!

yes, these dreams of ours feel different than dreams..
like we are re-living a part of something disconnected..

your writing echoes the feeling of my mattress shaking for no earthly reason
like something out of a horror movie, not out of it, in it

as I read what you write I am beginning to understand why I got to this site

you write exquisitely.. you express the adventure well
Sincerely,
Susan

[Tak]

I enter into the hypnagogic state and see, as usually, many geometric shapes, as if they were little venetian figures, a mosaic, in the shape of a circle tunnel and also many colored triangular pieces. In a moment a beautiful golden petals flower, with white and pink pearl pistils forms, and begins to spin on itself, it closes in a bud and opens constantly again and again, like into a loop. At one point the flower disappears and I see a black hole with a gray background, and I go through it. And suddenly something strange happened, I saw the tiles on the floor and I had the sensation of being kneeling on the tiles, as if a part of me was in bed looking at the ceiling, and the other part was already separated on the floor, in these two places at the same time, which was very confusing. In general, this happens the other way around, once out of the body, I feel in the background that my body is still in bed. But this time being in my bed, I felt in the background that I was also on the floor. I spent a long time entering and leaving the hypnagogic state, seeing many beautiful colors, there were also black and gray concentric circles that rotated in the background and many colorful spots. And the funniest thing was at the end starting to walk along a rainbow path that makes different shapes, bending, going up and down... that was really fun! Sometimes my mind is a little crazy in these states lol.

The hypnagogic state goes away and I can see my room! I'm still lying in bed, but I already know it's time to get out of the body. The room is fluctuating, I see that next to me I have a plate full of delicious figs, I grab one and eat it, I roll and fall to the side of the bed. At that moment I thought about be denser, I began to think that perhaps I cannot go to the etheric plane due to a density issue, since I felt very "vaporous" so I began to concentrate on being denser and I began to feel a very strong tingling sensation through the entire energy body... but this made me start to fall through the floor, falling and falling... watching as my room became smaller from the distance, as if it were a holographic cube in middle of the infinite blackness. I thought about flying, but I couldn't do it, I was almost motionless, I felt hard and numb.

I decided to return to the body because I couldn't control the situation, but when I did, I didn't feel it at all! I didn't feel my limbs, anything, it was like being a floating head on the pillow, a bit strange but a fun sensation. I decided to induce another experience and I began to see in a deep hypnagogic state that I was inside a vehicle on a street and I saw enormous trees, very long and green, little houses, but at one point I felt a strange vibration in my head, as if someone had passed over me an electric shaver and I had a very strong spasm on my head, only on the front left side. That made me go back, it was not pleasant. I induce another experience and I fall to the side of my bed with a thud and it is very difficult for me to get up and move my body, I felt pain, I don't know why, like I was numb and hurt. But finally, I was able to get up and the pain went away soon. At that moment I decided to go out the window, first I took out one arm just to prove, because in general when I leave my house I enter the Void, unless I be taken by the Guiding Force... then I proceeded to put my whole body outside and when I came out I saw the terraces of the buildings, which were a little different from the real ones, but very nice. I was flying for a bit, but suddenly everything faded away and I enter the Void.

Now I am in a huge room, there are wooden stands where I see many people sitting around and they are projecting some kind of movie. I was very curious to see this place, so I ran inside, and I don't know why, but it took me a bit to do it, it seemed as if there was a magnetic field that prevented me from doing so, but I used a lot of strength and I did it. When I enter, I asked what this place is... The people present told me a strange word that I didn't understand. Actually, I realized it was an advanced class, it wasn't my class! Everyone stopped doing their things and was very amused by my presence, as if a little girl suddenly walked into a classroom at the university. They laughed when they saw me asking so many questions and seeing me so confused because they weren't expecting it, they told each other secrets and I looked at them trying to guess what they were saying. Somehow through the concepts, I was able to understand that part of their task was to supervise younger students, like me, and I felt a bit like the rat lab of the class, but at the same time I had fun with the idea.

At that moment I began to feel confused and wondered if I was really in an astral area, or if this was just a projection of my subconscious. In general, I have no doubts when I am having a lucid dream or if, on the contrary, it is anything else. Although I am very aware in the lucid dream, I know that it is a projection of my mind, but when I have doubts about what I experience, I begin to make questions. So, I asked them if they were individual beings or higher aspects of my own consciousness, at which point I did a test, and thought about them telling me that they were aspects of my consciousness, to see if I could control what they said, as I generally do with my dream characters. But to my surprise they said NO, but that they were individual beings. I asked them the same question again, to corroborate and they said NO again, they were beings separate from me. I was frozen, it even gave me chills and I decided to sit down for a moment to recover from the impact.
But they just looked at each other and laughed, like seeing a cute little girl. And while I was sitting, I asked them if they were completely non-physical beings or they were embodied in human beings at this moment. But they did not want to answer, they became serious now and most of them began to disappear, fading in front of me. Somehow, I was able to recognize the teacher present, perhaps because she seemed older than the rest of the students... and I thought that it was my opportunity to bombard her with questions and gain a little more knowledge. However, it seemed like the teacher had enough of me dismantling the class (as always )

But before I had the opportunity to talk to her, I don't know what happened, something very strange and confusing. Suddenly I was being taken by the Guiding Force very far from there... But this time it was different, I felt infinite well-being, an inexplicable happiness, an incredible feeling... I felt like I was healing and regenerating. I was through different places, parks, cities, seeing many people, etc. But through those scenes I could see a transparent layer, like a filter of a pink hue with green kaleidoscopic fractals. I was feeling so happy that I started singing a song lol and I felt so grateful. At one point we passed by a small park and I remembered that I was there when I was 7 years old, but I had forgotten it! I couldn't believe it... there I was again. Lately I've had a lot of memories during lucid dreams, things that I had completely forgotten, could be situations, past dreams or physical objects. The Guiding Force leaves me inside a room, and I no longer feel that beautiful regenerative elixir anymore, the healing ended, and I returned to the normal state, I felt a marked difference in states of consciousness. In the end I decided to get out of there and I am now in a kind of bathroom, I see a towel and an elongated yellow insect walks on it, it looked very real and its surface shone, I was surprised by such realism. I opened a door to get out of there, but when I do it, I see in front of me another door closed, it was exactly the same door, I open it and the same thing again, another door closed, exactly the same as before, it happened three times. I started screaming desperately no, no, this can't be happening! And when the last door appeared, I made the decision to open it differently and I was finally able to get out...

I was in a room talking with many people, however I forgot most of the conversation. At that moment it seemed to me that I knew all of them and that we usually go there, but now I don't make the slightest sense of it. At one point I explained to them that sometimes I am on Earth, in two dimensions at the same time, and if they were aware of that and one of them nodded in agreement. The meeting ended and everyone was leaving, a few of us remained, and I started to stop listening! I generally have vision problems, but never hearing problems, so I told one of those people to help me. He took out a kind of white silicone pencil from his pocket to check my ears, first he observed them as if it were a kind of flashlight with a microscope and then I felt a sensation of suction and a lot of relaxation. I felt that he had inserted it very deep and it was almost like a brain massage LOL, it took a long time and he did it in both ears. At one point I got tired and wanted to leave, but he didn't let me do it and pulled me by the arm, because he hadn't finished yet, that seemed very funny to me. When he finished, I could hear perfectly, and I thanked him.
I decide to go to another room and find a kitchen, I don't know why I turn on the faucet and let the water run while I watch it. I decided to put my hands in the water and concentrate on the fact that the water that wets me is frozen, at zero degrees... at first it was difficult to achieve it, it just felt cold, but I concentrated more and it was possible! I really like to experiment with these things to have fun and see how much realism I can create in my experiences. It occurred to me that I would like to become very small now and enter the water molecules, go to the microscopic world, and I began to get closer and closer until I saw the water around me as if it were rain, but that was as far as I got, that was not easy to achieve.

The scene was so confusing that changes, and I appear sitting on a bench in a park, a man with a beard and long black hair, great bone structure and very tall with long brown clothes approaches me, he was blind and carried a cane, he comes to say goodbye to me because he has to go now. I realized that there was also a woman sitting next to me, but I couldn't see her, she was invisible, it's like she was just in her energy body at another frequency, but we could both perceive her, she also had to go. I realized they were my instructors and that we had been talking for a while before, but I didn't remember it until that moment, nor do I remember anything about our conversation. The man says goodbye to me, looking at me with a huge smile and a deep look that radiated peace, although he was supposedly blind, that was not noticeable, nor do I know why he appeared like that. The woman makes me understand that it is also time for me to leave, but I didn't want to leave! And she hugs me tight and starts giving me lots of kisses, as if to say, you got it girl! And I felt so much love from both of them! It was a very sweet and incredible moment.

I enter a kind of hypnagogic state again, but I am in the 3D blackness. I see an orange-white luminous ray and also violet and green phosphorescent figures around me, like streamers making undulating movements, all of this is extremely fun. When I opened my eyes, I continued feeling this wonderful love and healing sensation that I received on this journey.

[Tak]

To start an out-of-body experience, I usually go through the hypnagogic state first, seeing many different scenes and different kind of abstractions. However, it is incredible, but sometimes by simply relaxing and emptying myself of thoughts, entering a meditative trance basically, I can feel "being loose." From here it seems that we are intimately tied to the physical body, as if it were an ultra-powerful glue, and that is not the case. Simply unfocusing your attention from the body and entering the mind is enough. The most here already know it very well. But we really don't need to enter such a deep state to get out, many times we believe that we are still on the physical plane and in reality, we are already on the astral and we didn't realize the great opportunity!

This was one of those cases. I wake up, go to the bathroom, go back to sleep and relax with my breathing, there were some random thoughts, but I realized it was time to go out. When I detached myself, I felt a very strange sensation throughout my body, it was not vibrations, it was like a magnetism sensation, like separating two magnets, as if what tied me to the physical body was a magnetic force. Everything was in slow motion, sometimes it happens to me that I detach myself from my body and it is like being in another frequency of time, as if my will were faster than the action and I try to move a body that does not correspond to the speed of thought, which moves extremely slowly and I have to use a high degree of patience and take it with humor. I never knew what it was and I hadn't read about it, but now that I'm reading the book Otherwhere by Kurt Leland, he talks about this sensation that he usually see in Sleepers, people who are not aware of being in the astral, they move in stop motion (I loved that term, since that's what it feels like) and they have fuzzy outlines. However, it happens to me when I am aware and detach myself from the body, but only occasionally, luckily. I suppose it is just one of the many sensations of this phenomenon, like vibrations, that may or may not appear. This is only at the beginning, then it goes away and I regain full mobility... Holy patience!

I also began to hear a loud, strange sound inside my head, as if I had hundreds of crickets echoing inside my ears, but I knew I should ignore it until it disappeared. I don't see anything, and all is completely black. It's very funny, because I start crawling around the room like a lizard, instead of walking or flying, I usually hit my body against the floor and crawl or start rolling. Sometimes I hide under the bed too, I don't know why, I don't feel like I'm afraid, but maybe they are still instinctive reactions that one keeps, like animals into unknown environment, especially if I don't see anything. If anyone sees me doing that it's sure to be a very fun show! I crawled endlessly, until I could see the tiles under my body, and I was very happy, so I got up and saw my closet, my furniture, everything as it was, without fluctuations... Would I really be on the etheric plane? However, when I see my bed, my physical body was not there, but the bed is unmade, as if my body has gotten up and gone. I jump against the ceiling and now I see that there are many elements of the room floating and rotating all together in a circle, making a round or a whirlpool, what is that!? The crazy fluctuations have already started. I decide banging into them to test the density, but they felt soft. As always, I decide to leave through the window, but I enter the Void and a state of confusion.

When I recover, I see that I am on one of the streets of my city a few blocks from home, going straight towards a huge avenue, the unusual thing is that it is completely empty, there are no cars or people, but everything looks just as it is... I feel a big adrenaline rush to see that large avenue that is usually full of cars, empty. So, I start running at full speed, it's something I love to do, in fact, I like it more than flying. Sometimes when I don't control my emotions very much in these states, I start doing some crazy things, and in this case, I take some dry palm leaves and different plants that I found on the ground and started singing and dancing along the wide avenue while I was shaking them LOL. But then I started to see a group of people in the distance, as if it were a tour, everyone dressed in white.. I wasn't alone after all! But I went to hide, I think I felt a little embarrassed.

The scene changes and I am bordering a silver lagoon and the most beautiful colors of the sunset bathe the sky, violet, pink, gold and dark blue... I walked a lot and relaxed under the landscape. There were many people playing, flying kites, enjoying and spending time with their families. When suddenly, I don't know why or how, I am taken out of this scene, and I am entering into an office. There are many people sitting in seats, filling out forms, I felt like they were other people sleeping and not holograms. When I look at myself, I'm in my pajamas and everyone else is dressed up, that made me really angry! But I decided that I was not going to change my outfit nor did I care, after all someone interrupted my dream and it was normal to be in pajamas and if someone didn't like, it was their problem I sit in one of the seats and see who are in charge are two men with serenity and peace, who observe everyone and are the ones who deliver and receive the forms. One of them comes up to me and gives me a form along with a pen to fill out. But when I try to read it, I don't understand anything, they are strange symbols, I don't want to put my information there, much less sign, who was it for? Never sign anything without reading it first!

The signed forms were delivered by the people and the place was almost empty. I walked up to one of these men in charge and told him I wouldn't sign anything I couldn't understand, and he looks at me with compassion and tells me he'll translate it for me, and he told me that a Master Guide saw that I needed help in my practices and this gives the Helpers consent to do it, that's just what it was for. When I try to read it again, even though I don't understand the symbols, I touch the paper and absorb the concepts, I didn't know I could read like that, as if it were braille. I could also feel saying there in these papers, all the things I used to do in dreams, my strengths, my weaknesses, my likes, everything was being archived! On another occasion, I also entered an office and learned that all those papers filed information about my progress, I did not fully understand if they referred to my progress in this physical life, in my astral practices, or exactly what. That's why I call these people "The Archivists" a place where all my files are located. This disturbed me a little, but at the same time I had fun with the idea. However, I never needed to sign anything to get help, I always get help, there is always a helping hand, so I found it very strange that I have to sign a paper or give consent, I didn't like that.

I asked them who they were, and they told me a word that I didn't understand, I asked them if they were higher aspects of my own consciousness, and they told me NO. I asked them who are they so?! But they looked at each other as if to say, today's children ask everything! I kept insisting, but there was no response. Suddenly, a door opened behind them, emanating a very bright white light, someone was there in that light and was calling them, they had to leave...I wasn't sure about all this, so I apologized and left the form on the desk, but I flung the pen through the air! lol And I ran away. They were a little perplexed, but I wasn't sure signing anything, I didn't like it! I wonder what all that was like, it was very strange, but answers may take years to reach. I hope I didn't seem arrogant or ungrateful, because I'm always willing to get help, but I didn't like leaving my signature on a piece of paper I couldn't fully understand.

Then I went into a lucid dream where I had a little fun and returned to my physical body.