Messages

Leyla - That video is F...ing HILARIOUS!!!

Runlola -

I don't know what they could mean. But then, they're your symbols. If they lasted a while, they must go beyond the usual hypnogogic imagery. Perhaps you need to do some free associating...

Make a huge list. Maybe when you find the right answer, it will resonate?

Good luck - sounds fascinating

I live in the hills and we have lots of poxy mountain related ones. The worst is: Upalong Way (groan)

And I think that dry spells happen for a reason. Perhaps we need to reflect on our experiences for a while, or maybe we need to come back to our practice with a new approach or attitude.

I myself have not had a decent OBE for some time, but I also know that I need to approach the whole hing in a more disciplined and mature way than I did as a younger person. That's ok. There's no rush, right? The Astral is not going anywhere.

Leilah - I think I know what you mean. I'm not real experienced with trance states, and I get something like this feeling often when I (try to)meditate. I feel almost like a sense of vertigo, disorientation, as Stevo said. It makes me feel kinda queasy in the belly, and a little panicky. A fear of the void. I find, though , if I bear with it, I can break through to the other side, which is quite pleasant. Also, if I visualise myself filling up with each breath, it takes the focus off the "falling into nothingness" feeling.

Meg x

Hmm... interesting... I don't know that it is about "giving too much" to the point where it's harmful to others... I think I used to do that when I was younger, but I am ultra-conscious of it now. CFTravelor - what you say resonates with me... the idea of stuffing up, perhaps. Not meaning to hurt others, but doing it anyway? Guilt? Or maybe not protecting myself properly, like what is vulnerable within me. That would probably make sense too.

Thanks for feedback guys... what is interesting is the way these dreams have changed over the years. Anyone else have a recurring dream that has evolved over time??

Meg x

Hi Folks,

Thought i might chuck this one out there for ideas. I started having this dream when i was around 16; I'm now 28. The dream has evolved over time. It used to be about animals,  such as pets but now it is about babies. (I don't have a child, but we are "trying" currently)

So... I have a pet/baby. I am trying to show it something (a toy, a game etc) but whatever I am doing goes horribly wrong, and winds up inadvertantly causing a massive, gory injury. I spend the rest of the dream trying to rectify my mistake, but it just gets worse, the pet/baby winds up in worse pain, even dead, as a result of my actions.

I'll give you an example. In one, I dreamt that I was showing a talking kitten (lol) a view, and we were in a rooftop garden. i was holding the kitten against the rails, but they fell, and wound up being impaled on a wooden stake. I ran down and tried to get it off, but it just made it worse...

They are pretty unpleasant dreams. And graphic. (ew)

Any ideas? What's all this about???

Meg x

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e265/megtheteacher/meg2.jpg

At my friend's wedding in November last year.

Meg

Gnomad -

Just wanted to thank you for creating a fantastic track. I'm an inexperienced meditator to say the least, and using Boxed Nirvana with your suggestions left me feeling more calm and centered than I have in ages. I liked the humming noises - reminded me pleasantly of the refridgerator in my childhood home!  

Meg

...I don't think there is less racism now than before. I think that the manifestations of it have changed...

Meg

Jonathan - in my brain, there used to be a variety of articles on a range of different subjects; they may even have been submitted by people here... I'm really not sure though...

But the FAQ topics are impressive....

Thanks for your help.

Hi folks,

I just wanted to thank you for your interesting discussion.   I am making my very first steps towards meditation, so it was really useful.

Meg x

Hi everyone,

It's been a number of years since I logged in here, and I can't seem to find all the articles that used to be around...

Do they exist anymore? I'm eager to get reading about what's been happening around here!

Meg xx

PS. Thank you for a well-designed site that enabled me to find my old posts very quickly. It was fascinating to read them.

Thanks, Hannah!  

28

Yup.

Hi Astralpulsers,

Wow, has this site grown since last time I was here!! Last time I *really* checked in here as an "Astral Pulse obsessee," (Is there such a word?) there was only around a thousand members! Congratulations to Adrian and all the rest who have done such a great job.

So here I am anyway. Two years into a crazy-making teaching career, and feeling *just* about ready to put my focus into other things (I hope!)
I have just spent the afternoon reading all my old posts, and it has been frightening to realise how much I have forgotten about AP and the experiences I had with it during that time in my life. It has made me feel a bit weird and teary actually... This site was such a huge part of my life (choke!)

So that was in 2002. A long time. I see some of my old chums are moderators now, and some are no longer around. Hello to all of you, and to all those who have joined the community in my long absence... I look forward to meeting you all on the boards

Meg xx

STRANGE REUNION

In the Milky Way's
smooth darkness, you were weightless.
Do you remember?

And the stars were still
and distant. He grasped your hand
as you whorled upwards.

When the movement stopped,
you felt him there, warm and brown
and soft as leather.

Holding you upright
in the black, where you hovered
in strange reunion.

Here, your grandfather,
and real then as autumn leaves
when you kissed his hands.

And he was young and
familiar, that held you in
forgotten memory.

Do you remember?
If there were words, they were not
needed. You felt them

moving through your blood,
tangible and comforting
as worn corduroy:

Grand-daughter. Here in
the glittering, I give you
all my love, my pride.

Until your belly
was full with it, and you knew
he'd been there always.

Watching, and sending
love to you, through the filmy
curtain between worlds.
[/u]

I think that with all the talk of the material world, we forget how joyful our "real" lives should be.

I think it can be really dangerous to get overly sensitive to the non-physical in our daily lives. I think that if people don't work hard to ground themselves, they can really go crazy. Like, when I see John Edwards etc. and the way they jump from one person to the next, I think how he must just be constantly bombarded and it must be really hard to function!

There's reasons for some barriers. I find it intense enough to deal with psychic sensitivity when I am having an OBE.

So I think there's something to be said for working hard to ground ourselves. Crap jobs can do this, or for me it's baking bread and making jam. Anything that focusses on oneself and one's physical reality.

Meg

PS Stop looking for your soul mate. He won't be anything like you expect.

Ten minutes - Wow! Its bloody good for being that spontaneous!

I take a ridiculously long time to write (sometimes 20 hours for one poem) - but I think my perfectionism is more of a hindrance than anything. Ironically, my best poems are usually the ones I've spent less time on.

Do you mind giving me some feedback on one than has been torturing me for months?

I'm really not happy with the nutsing home bit - the rhythm is all wrong - its too jumbled or something. I think I've tried to tackle too much and I should edit some of it out. Whch parts woulsd you suggest?

Meg


*DYNASTY*

Most of all,
I remember the bottle
that played music.
The last means of an old man
to enchant children.

Great-grandfather.

It was always afternoon
in that house. An eerie sunlight
coming up from the lake,
my mother's grandmother
feeding us ice-cream
wedged between wafers.

Two boys, she'd had,
but only one was left by then:
The bachelor uncle, who made
aeroplanes from balsa wood.

In my memory they have
a private jetty on the lake.

It's become a dream.


Years later, we went to see her
in the nursing home.
The old house was sold
by then; my aunts fought
for the bottle.

Nothing left.

I remember being horrified
by the noises: A teaspoon
scraping food from her chin
back into her mouth,
her grey tongue that sucked
but wouldn't stay in.

And afterwards,
my mother and I
standing still in the garden,
holding each other.

The first born daughters
of a dead family.

Always the tears making us close.

Hi Kate,

Its interesting - I love some of the line breaks and phrasing. Particularly the unusual ones like:

"by careful / segmentation the philosophy of logic."

I also like the conclusiveness in the end of each stanza.

It's incredibly abstract, so sometimes your metaphors get a bit thick to read. But this is very a la Romantic poets; its nice.

You say you feel like it didn't come out of you. What do you mean?

Meg x

Exodus,

As an English teacher (hohoho), I feel that what you're story really needs is to "show rather than tell".

What I mean by this is....

Imagine if you were going to write: "She was happy."

That is "telling".

Instead, what you could do is "show" us. so you'd say something like:
"She had a huge smile on her face."

A pretty poxy example, but do you see what I mean?

That way you give your readers some work to do.

But your plot is GREAT.

Meg

That rocks!

I reckon you'd be hard-pressed to find this many Australians who would bother to have an opinion one way or the other.

(grr)

Meg

Hi Jeff,

I was also hovering around the astral pulse forums a couple of years back... and haven't visited for so long that my username was deactivated!

It was also work that kept me away... I started being a high school teacher this year and have spent the year writing assignments, marking and generally freaking out!

But it's lovely to be here having a look and trying to remember that part of myself.

Meg

Hi folks,

A strange problem: My OBEs are usually triggered by nightmares. It's always been this way. In fact, it took years for me to realize that my post-nightmare paralysis was actually the vibrational state, and I could leave my body instead of just panicking my way into waking up. My theory is that the fear from the nightmare wakes my consciousness, while my body is still asleep.

This causes a lot of problems. Firstly, I am usually so shaken up that my astral journeys are disjointed and confusing. Secondly, I have a tendency, as a result of my state of mind, to be drawn to places and entities that continue to frighten me in one way or another. There's some pretty unsavoury stuff out there!

Sometimes I am able to break through the fear barrier. Last night I was able to put it aside for long enough to go and visit my beautiful step-daughter, who lives on the other side of the country. I have also made contact with two of my guides in the past, though they are reluctant to "carry" me through my astral troubles.

The trouble is, fear is such a primal emotion, and a difficult habit to break. I find it comes in waves. I go through phases where I am super-conscious of breaking through it and becoming emotionally neutral so I can successfully project. But then after couple of months I am gripped by some new terror (they seem to  be thematic!) and my primal reaction kicks back in on the spot. I either panic and find myself paralysed until I manage a moan and my husband wakes me up, or I project, only to find myself pursued by some horrible entity in some horrible place.

I know in my head that there is nothing to be afraid of and that my fear itself is what is generating some of the more frightening projections, but the emotion grips me at such a deep level that it becomes very difficult to respond level-headedly.

I am interested in several things from you guys. What are your ideas on my theory of the nightmare/projection link? Why do you think I have stumbled onto OBE in this way? Has anyone else had a similar experience, and how did you break the cycle? Any ideas on how I might start evolving my experiences into something more positive?

Thanks for the input.  Its nice to be online again and checking out everyone's ideas!

Meg x

I don't know what it is with me... I just seem to run into these problems unwittingly!

Being hassled by an undesirable astral suitor...again! He has been waiting for me in the RTZ of my bedroom after I've gotten back from my last few astral jaunts, more or less throwing himself at me, trying the most ridiculous tactics. I have tried everything to get rid of him, but he is persistent.  Last time I was out, I tried: fighting him, explaining nicely, using the old love and light to make him disappear, magic ritual, focussing my thoughts to create his disappearance, and I even tried to insult him away from  me, saying all kinds of nasty things about his manhood! Really, what does it take for a girl to get her message through?!

Has anyone had any experience with astral entities who just won't go away? I don't feel I am in danger, but its very disruptive and annoying.

Meg

"...listening like the orange tree..."  - John Shaw Neilson