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For as long as I can remember, there has been another side of me.  I can hardly describe that side.

I just got another 'word' from it, and I finally decided to ask.  My experiences with it tend to follow a set course: a normal, everyday thing happens, and it's utterly dumbstruck, then enraged.

For instance, I was bathing.  I looked down at my body, and it just said something along the lines of 'Disgusting.  It has no fur, it has no scales, it has no feathers.  These long thin things (fingers) are good for nothing but being snapped, so why do you have them?' and then it was gone.

Similar things have happened while in the car, at school, and so on, and I have been told I 'zone out' while this happens.  I think it's always there, commenting on what's going on, but these times are only when I lose control for a minute or two.

The spiritual side of me is trying to rationalize by saying it's something like a spirit from another life.  The pure no nonsense atheist is certain I'm just going nuts and I need to cut it out, and trust me, if I could, I would.

I have no idea what this is, and I would really like some advice, just some methods of finding out more about it, or maybe some people who have a similar experience? Thanks.

If you want to reach me personally, as I don't get on this forum often, my YIM is youkaibladermax.

Specific? Ah... well, if I could see Terry and Tucker again... I think that might help.  I meditated once, and I thought I saw them.  Not sure if I really did or not, but it calmed me down for a while then.  I've never been able to let go of things, that's the problem.  And just sitting back and looking at myself I can't stand the fact that I still have a lot of growing up to do...

Thank you for all the warm welcomes.

I'm not sure why I'm doing this or even what I'm doing... But here goes.

I'll sum everything about me up as much as I can... I have a habit of making ungodly long posts.  I was raised mostly by dogs, Terry and Tucker.  My birth parents came into my life and suddenly wanted to raise me after they died.  I have been in two abusive relationships, one three years ago when I was thirteen and one just a few months ago.  I find it incredibly hard, not to trust people, but to respect them.  I generalize a lot, and the bane of my existence is the human race.  Yes, I understand that I am human as well, and that is just another part of me that I despise.  I have bipolar disorder and major depression, along with mild anxiety.  I am very eloquent for my age, but I can also be extremely manipulative and cold-hearted when I want to, and I'm not just blowing smoke.

I must admit, I have very little experience with things of an astral nature, but I would like to learn more.  I had a friend who helped me for a while, but we drifted.  She always used to tell me that I can't expect to get the answers from someone else, that I need to find them for myself... but hell, I barely listen.

So here we are.  If anyone is willing to take up the challenge and help me... post or drop me a message, I guess.