Messages

*Warning sexual content*
Where do I start? I couldn't take it anymore and I have to tell someone, this awful feeling in my gut dwells, and I get the same hurting sensation in my heart again. I'm afraid, and I don't want to give these demons power but the things they told me are truly horrible. I will now not listen to these voices though but sometimes my obsessive thinking gets in the way. Sometimes its too loud. I supposedly conquered my obsessive thinking long ago but now with beings that can read my thoughts it returned. I often question my own sanity and I don't know if whether I am insane or not. If this is reality, if I am really being attacked or this is just my obsession for spirituality pushing me onto the edge? I don't know, and I don't know what's worse. If I'm insane or if this is real.

Let me start from the beginning. It all started with chatting with a friend, and over time I grew feelings for him. I am afraid to admit it but I couldn't stop thinking about him, and because of him I learned to love unconditionally again. At the time I was really into a deep depression and felt a lot of hatred and anger, but when I heard of his problems my heart hurted for him so bad. I wanted to take away his pain, and heal him. (I send light energy to him, but my passion was so intense .. this spiritual love) I didn't understand whether this was romantic love or if it was unconditional love, and found myself confused. I just thought that I developed feelings because I was lonely here and I just did this as a defense mechanism? In my back of my mind I knew it was foolish, childish, and how can I just love someone who I never met? I will call him Tim.

I am not the type of teenager who falls in love with every guy I meet kind of girl. No, in fact I distance myself when I can because I don't want to find romantic love or just because .. perhaps its because there is something wrong with me (anti social, bi-polar, social anxiety etc.) who knows what the f*** is wrong with me. I also am a flirt and you know that, and cyber sex was just a game. I never took it seriously, I never masturbated while doing it. It was just fantasy, that's all. But then something happened, we started to have intense sexual feelings .. he said it was a spiritual link .. I was wondering the same thing. But these are not normal heat, it was as if our thoughts yield each touch I felt. So I thought.

He is also spiritually gifted, and I even had a dream interpreting his "past."

Lots of other things happened, my change of appetite (which is unusual because I am emotionally addicted to food) I started to hear faint whispers, each day it grew louder. I told him and we both agree that I was just reading his thoughts. These whisperers were deceiving me however, and I have to pay the price for falling for it.

I didn't understand why I sense more then one entity in the room (though this was usually the case before in the past) when I started to get these sexual feeling again. I didn't realize that the feelings I had before were sexual and I didn't understand that because it was to a lesser degree. It was a tingle I felt on my a**, I felt it before .. like energy but I just regard it as a prankster entity or it was all in my head. I mentioned this before but no one commented on this so I thought it wasn't a big deal. To tell you the truth I didn't even know about anal sex back then.

But then when I grew feelings for Tim, one day something happened and we both felt an intense feeling, but it felt too real. Tim felt (sometimes sexual feelings or touches I did not envision) when I send him light. (This is way back before I even started to seriously think of him that way) but when I ask what he felt he told me he felt things that sounded obscured and I took it that he was only joking and playing around. I started to believe when I had my first sexual intense feeling we had the exact same time. I didn't understand what was happening, I just believed it was a link, or it was thought forms or something like that. I guess it was my fault for not fighting this feeling, I know I'm too young and a hundred other reasons came into mind but I didn't fight it in the end. I really liked Tim, so I just allowed it.

Many of you probably know of the attacks I encountered in the past. I have "spirit vision" where I see energy and a mist of the sort. I can see astral insects and stuff like that. When I prayed to purgatory for the first time in my life I think I was 11 or 12, I sensed and saw energy or an entity. It looked human and I felt the hairs on my body go up, and he touched me somewhere I rather not mention for a second. My fear for the unknown and evil was my paranoia back then, for I was like I said, an obsessive thinker. I had nightmares every other day, fives times a day. My fear gave them power though I wasn't as spiritually aware then as I am now. The dreams were unusual, one dream was empathic where evil filled the left side of my chest. It was pure evil, so horrific that I never forgotten to this day. Physically it felt good and even a dimensional sense of feeling but it was pure pure evil and I never been so frightened in my entire life. One night I felt the restlessness of an entity who was swaying back and forth in the air. I had many nightmares of wind entering my throat and this intense pain in my chest like no other, others I was just paralyzed in bed and thrown in a straight line in the air. Over time my nightmares would change, my moods would change, and the energy in my room would change. These were things you probably hear often from other people's dreams. I stumbled onto this site in hopes of finding an answer, for help. A few others warned me of possion, though I was young and didn't act out of fear nor did I progressed on this idea. The invasion wasn't something obvious, it wasn't like the lights flickered or something like that. Something physically was not seen. I struggled for a year and finally conquered my fear in a lucid dream. My nightmares lessened when I finally did, however I still get weird dreams/nightmares once and a while. I still sense entities. The energy in my room changes constantly.

(Back to the present)
In the beginning the whispers were low, I could barely hear them. Then it gradually grew louder. I heard things like "I love you Vanessa" and my name said constantly, other mutterings I wasn't able to hear. I should of known, mostly because this person is the lovely dovey type. I was a fool I should of suspected something was up. I wondered why the whisperings sounded as if there was more people.

I felt real sensations like, being held and being licked in my ear, and f***. I asked Tim, if he felt things like that and he said sometimes. I was wondering what was happening, I still didn't understand.

(This all happened in a matter of a few days)

Then one night I felt it again, the feeling and I welcomed it. I didn't really get any pleasure from it like I did when I experience it the first time. I sense other entities, and I was confused what was happening. The whispers were louder, their was a women's voice who sounded as if she was instructing the one who was doing this to me. They were chanting something "black yellow, black green" something with colors. Then I heard him moan and say yes and things like that, and I felt his fluids inside of me.

I was so cold, shivering uncontrollably I went to my room because I was in the living room at the time and I couldn't stand the cold. The voice who ***ed me said, "Look at her I can't do it, she's sweet." I heard the female voice and it said, "yes you can she is just cold." And he repeated this over and over, "look at her she's scared." The other voices said "She's cold." I was confused as what was happening. The female voice said "Yes you can!" over and over. "She's sweet, I like her." I was sitting on the bed, and listening to what was being said. Then he started (edit) me from behind, and it felt just as real. (I got no pleasure though, but felt his fluids and it felt real) As a virgin I don't know how such things feel like. Then he started cursing, "laputa." I couldn't believe what was happening. As I look back at the scene, I feel this urge to vomit. I feel this extreme guilt and disgust, I was the one who welcomed it, its my fault in the end. I thought it was "Tim." I can't believed what happened, I just want to die. I feel like I deserve it, and this is an event that will probably traumatize me for the rest of my life. How could I be so stupid? I .. Just .. Can't ... believe .. It. I am in shock. Then the voices started yelling telling him to "KILLL HEER." I however knew that this was impossible, and was confused. I didn't know what to think, so I just didn't. I told him I trusted he wouldn't and have faith, the voice just replied back "I can't, I can't, I like her. Besides she's cute." The voices grew, I feared they would gang up on him. I imagined light pouring into us. I prayed and prayed for it to stop. I did the protection mediation, but it didn't work. I then talked to umm... an online friend, a channeler and asked for his help online. He told me to read the bible, but I couldn't bare to tell him the details. I was to ashamed, and I could die from the shame. He said he didn't sense anything, but then again he said doesn't sense everything. I started to question my own sanity. I read the bible, heard the voices say "shut up" mostly the women's voice. I prayed, I imagined light coming down onto me. I did this till dawn, and my mom overheard my praying and loud shouts for them to leave. She was very angry with me and told me to go to bed. I didn't sleep much, something was coming down on me. When I awoke the voices didn't sound like they were outside but in my head. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I heard "shut up," and "omg" and my ears felt weird (they do when I chant prayers and etc.) and the body of the entity was sticking out of my body a little bit. My left cheek felt itchy, and I could feel it move. I close my eyes and when it moves a flash of white is seen under my eyelids. The sides of my neck also felt weird. I thought about what happened, and finally realized the situation. I was first thinking "Am I insane or is Tim really doing this to me?" Then I realize that Tim, no matter how spiritually gifted .. A live person isn't capable to stay in my body that way. It was an imposter, of course! Why the f**k didn't I see it? When I chanted prayers I felt a sensation Tim described he felt when I send him light. "Elevator feeling, arms around my neck, intense pressure on the sides of my neck." I realize that the entity used us, and that it was in reality it making us feel that way. I realize a lot of things, how my dreams connected to all of this. One dream I felt myself being poured into my navel charka and etc. I sensed energy one morning (this happened long long before any feelings occurred) I felt the tingling sensation on my a** when I woke up. I went back asleep and felt and saw in my mind's eye a man entering my body. I was half asleep then, and he immediately went out once he knew I realized all of this. The entity followed me to the shower, I saw the sparkles at the corner of my eye, and sensed it. One dream I was raped by something invisible. And had a few sex dreams with invisible entities before, but it wasn't really sex, more stimulated then anything else. At the time I didn't even know what anal sex meant. That's how it was done. One night I was my spiritual sight was stronger then ever, and I saw faces in the energy. They were all staring at me, and my whole room was filled with energy. I saw streaks of red in the air, sparkles of light in the corner of my eye. I saw a man at the foot of my bed. It caressed my arm. His hand felt real. In the past I sense a lot of different things, but they were brief. I never heard voices before. Sometimes when I am crying I am sometimes conforted by the energy in my room. They stick to my finger tips. When I mediated to meet my guide, the same female voice I heard was the women's voice I mentioned before. All I managed to hear was "Ssss" probably the "ss" in my name. There is so much more, but who knows if it connects to this. I can't be to sure. I don't even know if I am sane after all.

I did a lot of praying, and did my light technique, I put on the telecare channel when I got weary of talking over the voices, I went to church that day. It was Sunday. I felt it sexually using me, and sometimes it uses that as a way to fight back my prayers. It felt real but at the same time, I just felt more of a tingle. I just started moving and walking so it would stop. That was my way of struggling with something I couldn't even see. Now when I do that I get "Stop moving you b***." The baby in front of me in church turned around and stared right into my eyes, as if she was seeing right into my soul. She then motioned her grandma to look at my direction and she started tapping on her bible furiously. She looked at my crotch then stared at my crown for a long time. I mediated in prayer, and vision God entering me and cleansing me. The baby wasn't afraid of me after a while and reach out for me (gave me hope), she interacted with all of the people around her. She cried a little before after she finished staring at me. I think I made her feel uncomfertable, I think I made her cry.

I chanted prayers for a while and was exhausted. I heard lots of weird things, different voices, they just repeated my thoughts or what I did. There is three different voices I know of, but more entities. They repeated to me my fears, my weaknesses, personal things to make me feel bad. "Stupid girl, she thinks she's fat, she likes the pain, she is a masochist, she after all cuts herself even if its not that deep or if its only a scratch , etc." It was just repeating the darkness inside of me, when the thought came up.

At first I fought it pretty well then physically and mentally I grew exhausted and the guilt was overbearing. I talked to Tim, and he said he would put a shield around me but I asked him he sensed anything and he said no. I wondered about my own sanity. I tried to fight back by blocking the voices, not listen to them and singing to music, my obsessive thinking was getting in the way. It would rape me, I heard weird things like scissors clippings. And felt sensations as if my hair was being cut. Later on I asked Emily, a 13 year old rape victim and perhaps also sister of the man what was happening and she told me that he cuts the hair of his victims. I was unsure she was just pulling thoughts out of my head, or if she speaks the truth. I was wondering who side she was on. It was confusing because the voices changed, as well as personality. She would repeat my thoughts to the man, even though he can hear and said it himself. But she would also say "I'm scared, she really scares me, she's smart she can hear and feel us, she knows .." the man would just say "She's stupid she can't hear us, shut up, Shhh..." Sometimes she would defend me when the man gives me an insult, other times she would repeat she is afraid of me. I then thought the entities mimicked each other's voices because Emily was contradicting herself often. Sometimes the voices fade, other times they are loud. When I pray the voices seems to lessen.

The things Emily told me, of the man who stabbed her and raped her, not to mention she called my help and we started to comfort each other like sisters yesterday. I did not trust her then I felt I should. Later I realize its all lies, and she was deceiving me the whole time. She was a demon in disguised. She just repeats my thoughts to the other demon, but I was hurt and her helplessness and calls for help touched me, she would defend me too. And I heard her say "Don't cut her hair, no I can't do that she's my friend, she's right I know she is (when I told her she has to go to the light and move on, not to be stuck here in my body), I'm so scared." And she seemed to care about me. But then the voices would change and I knew it was a lie. He would call me a "Jesus freak" and insult me. I was so overwhelmed that I started running, and I emotionally broke down right there. I cried but I felt so hurt I couldn't even cry right. I wanted to die so badly. I really needed to talk so I visited a friend to clear my mind and we talked for two hours. That way at least I didn't hear the voices. I felt so depressed, then after I called random people just to get my mind off of it even if it was after 11 and most people were asleep. I chanted prayers, for long periods of time. I would use up all of my energy to fight back, but I don't know what else to do. At one point I couldn't stand the insults but I fought back. My parents were ticked at my strange behavior saying I am making them sick themselves. They think I'm doing this on purpose. "Look my mother just died and I am not even that depressed or bored. I wish I was in the house the whole *** day, and who needs friends, with your aditude like that no wonder you had a fight." (I never even fought with anyone.)

Last night I realized Emily was fake, and I felt it cut my jeans but physically they look fine. It said "I'm cutting your soul stupid." I didn't feel pain but it felt, well weird. I get the same sensations when I chant prayers, around my neck. I think it cuts my neck when I pray. Also I could smell such a foul order, it wasn't my scent or any one else's at home. I took two showers already. I been really stressed lately, and you can tell when my sarcasm kicks in and I start snickering (I do that often when I am nervous) I was really stressed. So I asked it why it cuts me, why it rapes me and it says I deserve it. You let me take advantage of you stupid, you had sex with the devil. You're friends a guy who use to do voo doo and you liked him. (another friend) More insults. They would kick my butt, my body, rape me, cut me I felt coolness roll down on my body. It was blood, but I saw no physical mark. I asked how this was done. He said black magic. It doesn't want to tell me about things like, how long this been happening and he admitted lying about things in the past and right now and being a liar.

I felt so sick, so guilty .. I thought of suicide. I wanted to vomit. "Okay why don't you do it then." It just repeated my thoughts, my hidden feelings .. "haha because of her spirituality" "Jesus freak" and I just couldn't do what it wanted to do. I was so overwhelmed that I went to my parents room and told them about the demons. I sobbed, and hugged them something I didn't do since I was a tot. I don't normally cry in front of my parents, and I felt this need to release but I was so desperate. Then it said it wanted me to cry and I stopped, I couldn't cry anymore because of what he said but I wanted to do so badly. I told my parents, "I'm insane." And sobbed. They just said "No more staying past 12, no more violent TV shows, no more anime." They denied it but I can see it past their eyes, deep inside they probably felt this as well or at least question my own sanity a little bit. They really don't believe in occult and stuff like that. A priest came by the house, years ago when I first had my nightmares to bless the house. My mom asked the priest to come when I showed her a small claw mark on my wrist. There is five lines, curved making it look like a claw print but its also thin enough to mistaken it as just coincidental. The thumb and pinky print was not a line but a small dot. It was centered perfectly right on the middle of my vain. I don't remember hurting my wrist, and it was my left one .. the one I don't use. "The house was already blessed," my mom said, "there are no demons." And it makes sense. She said (I was at school) that the priest, "there was nothing in the house." Your biker babe might be insane, its just so hard to believe. I'm shocked myself. Sure I have my flaws in my own mentality, my anxiety and obsessive thinking but many others do as well and .. one day you wake up hearing voices you just know you're life will be changed forever. I wish I'm normal now, I wish I never dwelled into spirituality, I wish I can have my life back. I had so many plans, study hard, join after school activities but what if the voices don't leave? What if I really am insane? And now I don't think I can even look at myself in the mirror knowing, I had sex with the devil. I deserve to die, but I can't do such a selfish thing nor can I do what it wants me to do. Every time I sleep its like asking to be raped. I guess this is the price I have to pay for my crime. I am going to try to look for a channeling group, and if they don't sense anything themselves then I just going to join a convent. How can I interact with others when they can see the horror in my eyes? I'm such a horrible person to let it use me that way. To be stupid enough to fall for their deception. I should of known! Why didn't I? Why is this happening to me? You're biker might be insane, and my whole life will never be the same again. If its truly all in my head then I'm leaving this site. After telling you about this crime, I really don't feel like I deserve to be here. How I wish I had a shoulder to cry on now. Will God ever forgive me?

Hi I was wondering, this physhic said she saw my animal guide. She saw the image of a grey stallion, with a dark grey muzzle.

I was wondering if you knew what this mean or symbolizes?

I'm intrigued.

(This happened yesterday)

Exhusted, yet I didn't really wanted to go back to sleep.
I was trying to clear my mind, concentrating on the darkness behind my eyelids. And saying "OMMM" in my mind. I was careful in keeping conciousness. Everytime I realize an image popped into my head I would concentrate on the darkness behind my eyelids once again and say "OMMM" mentally. I knew that I was really relaxed and in dreaming mode because the images that popped into my head looked realistic and easily the darkness behind my eyelids dissolved away.

I did this over and over and over, trying to keep my head clear and I concentrated on "nothingness"
until the outside noises from below and children playing outside faded away and was forgotten. Now everything outside is GONE. I could say "OMM" in my head peacefully now.

The sister of my friend popped into my head, she does so alot. Annoying little brat. Well once again I realized it and I try clearing my mind and concentrating on the darkness behind my eyelids and saying "OMM" and a music box appeared playing soft music. It was beautiful. I don't remember if this music box appeared before or after I said "OMM"

BANG! I am paralzyed and the viabrations of my body was intense. I realized this, shocked for I haven't intended for this to happen. I just wanted to practice clearing my mind never expecting results, and this quick too. I thought to myself how I must be doing something wrong because this technique usually helps you hear my inner voice, the popping sound in your ears.

I said out loud (mentally cause I couldn't open my mouth)

God take me, I sacrificed myself to you. Do as you wish, I don't care what but please hold my hand every step of the way.

(please hold my hand every step of the way is a common chant I do inside of me so I can keep my strengths up)

I tried to become consumed in the viabrations and it became even more intense. Sometimes I forget and start struggling but I quickly remember and I stop, trying to keep "nothingness".

Images pops into my head, an sexual image pops into my head and I realized it (I don't remember what) and I do the nothingness again. An image of an old man appeared, my first response was eww lol but I tried again clearing my mind letting the vibrations consume me when a pair of hands reach out forth mine and they where huge hands. I could not see myself or anything.

Is it the hands of the old man, God, or my guide? I asked myself. I thought to myself that Jesus's hands shouldn't be so big, usually they picture him as thin, and fagile. I thought of his hands as long, slender and even boney. But I realized what I was thinking and don't questioned God popped into my head and I appolgized.

I knew that God heard me, he always does and if you have faith in Him you then have nothing to worry about.

I let the hands guide me. I don't know where I was going, it was dark and I am still paralzyed in my bed with the viabrations.

A dream in my head started to appear but I did not want to do "nothingness" because I thought I should listen carefully for any messages. I don't think I really lost conciousness.

I appeared in sitting on those metal inflatable seats. I am in band and I hold an instrument, a flute I believe. A boy next to me with intense blue eyes appear. (haha this could possibly be MY dream, or maybe God is amusing me with a cute blue eyed boy )

He looked at the flute stunningly, I forgot how to play and I wispered if he forgot and he said yes and I told everyone if they forgotten come with us. No one came but the boy and I. I knew this was a plan from God? I don't remember the exact words I spoke to the boy.

We where walking in the halls of a school. It looks like this school I went to open house once, but wasn't sure if it was exact I thought to myself.

I said to him, we will join the art club and if we forget how to paint we will join the sportclub and if we forget how to play, and etc. and etc.

He nodded.

And if we can't join anything, then we will do nothing.

A orchastra teacher came and asked him to please come back and play. The boy went with her and agreed, I was upset. I felt betrayed.

I yelled out that:

I am a new Eden and I will make babies in heaven and its your fault, I should of make babies with You.

(Or something of the sort)

soo this ends it. What exactly happened here? I'm really confused.

I am a 14 year olf female living in New York.

Maybe you guys can answer a few questions. Ever since I was little I can see energy orbs.  They are all different- one day I encounter energy that has a small shape, or have fluttering wings, insect type, different heat or vibrations, or sometimes the energy is hard to detect. Sometimes the energy seem to be interested in me other times i think it prob. doesnt even know i am there. There is larger energy as well, sometimes i can sense that they are some type of animal, or another entity. I had experiences when I felt the emotions of these entities (the larger ones though) of restlessness and it was floating or running in the air back and forth. But I am curious what these little energy orbs are.

Every night when I am relaxed, I can see them floating around. I stroke them gently with my fingertips, they seem to be fond of my fingers for they are attached to them, as if they come toward them when i "let gp". I can feel the energy in my hands, sometimes it is heat, strong heat other times I can feel difference in temperature, or texture in the air. Other times I can't even feel energy but I know its there. I talk to them everynight, or at least in my head. I feel like they are friendly creatures. One time as I felt energy all over my room and I can see fluttering wings as i tilt my eyes in the corner i had an image of either fearies or baby angels (it was so quick that i couldn't tell)  my eyesight is limited and I am hoping to expand and improve this ability. Of course not all the time the energy is "good". But I haven't felt any bad energy for a long time now.

When I look into the air and feel it, it reminds me of it floating in the water and you are like touching the surface where the water line meets the air and it ripples. when you stroke it. I feel the same confert when I swim and when I lay my hands and feeling the energy around me. I love the feeling of my hands vibrating, the warmth, (hehe sometimes they are not so warm!)

My senses increase when there is a full moon. I am currently starting to do a mediation to clear my chakras because an online friend said they were blocked (and i am not surprised i had the indictations) and i think this energy helps me concentrate when i am cleaning them. The first time I did it was in my room (although i had trouble keeping my mind on focus) he said the day after that he was very surprised that i was able to open my chakras after only one attempt and that they were really open. (romote healing just in case you didn't know) I also sense a tingle on my body.

I see these things best at night, with the new mediation (just started 3 days ago) i am able to clear my mind a little more easily and images in my mind appears (that i did not cause) as if they were a dream, but i was totally concious and awake, but i was relaxed enough to feel as if i was asleep. Hear wispers and voices (it happens some days) currently i saw a list appear in my mind but the sounds and images seem to be blurry.

When I continue my mediation and communicating with this energy

(one time it had an healing effect on me where i had this big fight with my mom and i was vioulently crying. as soon as i started stroking my energy orbs and they seem to come to me i felt instinctly better)

will these images and voices become more adioable that flask into my mind?

Note I am not saying that i always hear these things only when i become extremely relaxed, or when there is a full moon. Especially when I stay up for most of the night stuying and have to wake up each morning at 5 because of my bus. I am exhusted and this of course helped.

I also have another question, is there a way i can communicate with them on a more deeper level? I also sometimes I can not differenate between them, they seem to be different sets of them that keeps interchanging and switching when they visit me.

Sometimes my whole body feels like it is vibrating, and my ears start ringing softly. It feels so good to be so relaxed. I can't wait to learn more mediation techniques.

So do you understand what I am describing and feeling? At first I thought everyone could see them but I asked my mom and dad and they can't. It seems so weird to think that only some people can see energy when it feels so natural. Yet everyone can see chi, so wouldn't people be able to see this also?  I don't understand ...

I tried doing an online search but I couldn't find anything. Sorry for the typos, I can't think clearly today, I got this big headache from school[]

one day as I was about to fall asleep I started to feel dizzy and my head begame to swirl. My I felt pressure on my brow chakara. And then out of no where I saw an eye. Ever since then when I move my eyes to the corner of my eye or sometimes close them I see cat like eyes. Sometimes they are different colors like one day their green and the other are white. Its strange because I don't even think about eyes when it happens. (even though I named my sn eyesofvengeance[8D]) So what exactly am I seeing?

I feel that this is a matter of importance. Another one of my famous nightmares ladies and gentlemen. But the more I think about the more I wonder if my subconious is trying to get me into astral.

I'm paralyzed again (SUCH AS IN ALL OF MY NIGHTMARES) and I could hear the ringing sound in my ears quite loudly when I concentrate, and I feel the vibrations in my body intesifying as I melt into the dream.

I do not know wheither or not I should call it vibrations. The feeling is quite hard to explain. It's a feeling of coolness, almost coming in waves. Sometimes the feeling is pleasurable other times it is very unconterable.

I also know that when you hear the ringing sound and you concentrate you can get astral hearing.

I decided that since fighting back only makes my nightmares worse and painful that I will willingly let the vibrations consume me. Strangely it felt good, I melted in pleasure. Also when I had nightmares such as these I fight back because if I don't I will fall deeper into sleep and wake up into another nightmare. When ever I didn't fight back the feeling intesify and always in the end the feeling becomes very painful. When I fight back the pain is felt as soon as I struggle. What do they both have in common? Well when I'm in the end of the vibration cycle my head begins to swirl. That is whatever doing this to me lifts me up into the air and I am thrown into the air in a straight line.

My past nightmares as you remember consist of a demon. I still was paralyzed. Sometimes I can see his claws on my ankles as he threw me, other times I did not see him at all. My recent dreams I usually do not see who is ever doing this to me. I know however that it is not a demon but a spirit of some sort. It is invisible. Also ever since I had that nightmare of the demon and decided that I will stop struggling, I did but I also managed to control me fear and said the our father. I felt victorious when I woke up to find that I conquered my fear. Ever since then my nightmares has stopped and I just got crazy vivid dreams that I usually get after that. But now whenever I get nightmares it changes into the one I am describing. It is a little different as you can see. I didn't feel the vibrations before.

Is it like a game where you have to conquer a fear which you must do it correctly and then when you conquer it you go to a new level and have a different nightmare which you must conquer too and this keeps repeating into differnet levels until you beat the whole game?

I begun to wonder when I woke up from my current nightmare.

Also when I'm thrown into a line I wake up into another nightmare and I am again paralyzed in my bed. It could happen millions of times before I wake up.

This dream was different. When I was lifted I saw a black transparent gasous cloud (spirit energy) also the spirit was a fat female. Strange this never happened to me before. Also she had a dog spirit. If I ever saw who ever is doing this to me I see different things each time. I feel that this is not its true form.

I wonder if this dog spirit was the same when the time I dreamed being paralyzed once again and I saw a golden fearie across the bed and two cats and a dog or two. The vibration was very strong then.

In all of my dreams the vibrations are different. Different wave patterns and pains and pleasures. Sometimes it is felt stronger on my head and chest area or other times it was my thighs and legs.

Sometimes pain and pleasure comes in waves and patterns and also different areas of the body.

As for the nightmare with the fearie in it when I woke up I felt energy especially on the floor. It was the size of a dog, it even reminded me of a dog from its strang behavior. Also a another energy who was suspiciously interested in me. It would go on my pillow or infront of me. When I put my hand forward to touch and feel the energy as I also do I could swear I saw the shape of a hand or finger and it touch my hand. I explain before that I never encountered such an energy before. All of the energy I ever saw didn't even noticed I was there.

When I woke up I felt energy which is not surprising because there is energy in every room of the house. For some reason I sense and see high energy levels in the master bedroom which I was there before after the nightmare watching t.v. I started getting chills up my spine and also on my legs and waist. It felt good like the vibrations in my dream, it even reminded me of that.

I'm not saying that this energy caused my nightmare, I'm just noting the thoughts I had when it occured so maybe you can understand me clearly.

So what exactly am I experiencing? That's what I want to know. Also I would like to mention that my senses sharpened when I woke up. I can still hear the ringing sound in my ears, and I could see colors in objects in my room or auric colors. I also noticed that my aura senses are being strengthened. Before I couldn't even see colors in the aura now I can reconize a color and each time the outline over the body becomes a little bigger. I wouldn't be surprised if I could fully see the aura in a matter of a few months if my progress keeps going. Perhaps sooner.

this is my most recent pic. I look terriable but that is because i just came back from track hehehe

well i had this person read my aura and he said that it is muddied

i wouldn't be surprised but i would like to hear other opinions as well

i can really fully see auras but sometimes i can see colors and outlines, i could see energy but to an extent

i noticed that i got yellow in my aura and purple on my face

(i only realized i got purple from my id card which had a massive purple outline on my head and hair)

I also noticed blue but the guy never said he saw blue in the aura.

Opinions are welcomed.

Also I would like to learn what the colors represents. I know that this is only really an opinion but i'm interested to see it in other people's point of view as well

Hey I want to become a wicca and I was wondering what are some good beginning spells? Of course I refuse to do anything that is Satanic, evil, and harm others so forget it.

thanks []

Iam lying on my bed when I felt a weird sensation on my body, my soul was vibrating rapidly. My soul was going up little by little. My head was in a swirl of thoughts. The vibration was even more faster, and it was painful but then it wasn't really pain. Something I cannot explain. Like a tickle that you want to stop. I was stuck, nothing was happening except that I was vibrating and I just was scared to death. I thought to myself that the next step was that the soul leaves the "gross" body. I was not ready for such a thing. I wanted to learn meditation, study more of my spiritual studies, learn what I'm getting into before I step both feet in. I tried to stop but then I just became paralyzed. I probably was already but I was too scared stiff to move before. I saw a feriae, she was small and golden. Gold light luminated her whole body. She was across my bed and kinda shy. I was surprised that she did not flee. I tried talking to her but my words came out as gibberish. My physical body then was moving (without my consent toward the feriae). Well I was trying to walk to the fearie but not in such a way in my dream. I was floating but I wasn't the one who was making myself float. Still in my physical body though. I was powerless to move. I tried talking to her but I looked mentally retarded.

(The words and mouth was not doing what I directed it to do.)

Then it lost it's grip. (If their was an "it")

I was able to move again as I wish. The feriae was shy and backed off a little. Their was also a cat, dog, and two cat lovers. They were astral entities.

The cat lovers were stuck together looking in each other eyes and licking each other. They were only in my dream for a minute.

The characters in my dream was friendly. I guess.

It's not necessarily to mention the rest of the dream, for I do not want a dream interpretation, I just want to know if I could be possibly doing astral.

Perhaps at first I was awake and slowly drifted off to sleep as it was happening.

I was having a hard time falling asleep even though I was tired, perfect state for going astral, exhaustion.

When I woke up I can see the energy in my room. I knew that I was not alone. I usually encounter energy all the time but this was something I never encountered before. Sure I had times where I felt evil but that was a long time ago, I hardly feel much now. A bunch of hoppers, or "dragonflies", chi, and sometimes something else that I cannot explain.
How this energy was reacting to me was frightening. I'm not use to have the energy respond to me when I put my hand out to feel it's energy. I saw a thin band of energy reaching for me, imitating what I was doing before. I think it was reaching it's hand to me! Their was energy on the floor too but it was different from the greeting entity. This energy that was on the floor was smaller. Longer in width then height. I guess you can say like a dog type of creature. At least that was what I thought it remsemble at the time. It was moving on the floor back and forth. More energy was in my room but no way to describe it really. It was just "there".

Now the greeting energy I'm guessing is huge. The energy is very visible. I can see black particles moving back and forth. It's strange how it's energy is the same as others in the room. Like it was made out of the same substance but different entities.

Other times I can sense energy, feel energy, but this time I can "see" the energy. This sense reacted more strongly then the other senses.

This greeting entity seem to be very interested in me. The energy I usually encounter hardly paid any notice, it might just stand there emotionless but hardly reacted to me in any "big way". The energy I'm use to is sometimes just a blob, mostly small. More invisible. I can feel tingling in my tip of my thumb. I don't think from touching it but it was touching me. My hairs on my legs was up and everything.


(Heh heh that's right I DO NOT SHAVE MY LEGS, surprised?)

This thing was on my bed with me. It would go directly near my face, I guess because it wanted attention? Maybe just wanted me to know it's there and "real".

I could not make out if it was evil or not so that was what frightens me. Not knowing what was there. Sometimes I can figure out if this energy was evil or not other times I just don't know. In this case I just didn't know. I hear of evil things all the time and I wish to advoid them as much as possiable. Yet Iam vain, what if this is a being of light? What if it needed help, or have a grand purpose? This thought always makes me try to interact with the energy in my room. This energy was so different, it was reacting to me! I guess that was why I was so scared, this behavior I never encounter before, RARELY. I had times that they did react to me but only in little ways.

So I just went back to sleep that night.

Next night. Just as I thought the energy entities was back. When I went back to my room to go to sleep I can see this energy again. It was on my bed. Near my pillow. (The greeting one) I can see another energy on the floor again but it wasn't really the shape of the dog like creature like before. It was just like a stream of water. Moving, flowing in the air. I turn on my light and guess what I saw? The energy was playing with my bra! I forgot to pick it up this in the morning. The nerve!

Funny how I say it it sounds funny, trust me it's not.

There was a full moon outside and I did not want to sleep in my room. I did not want to go back to astral. I'm guessing this entity is the reason I had such a dream or at least this is what I believe. I know that doing astral while asleep is dangerous, I wouldn't have mind so much if I was awake but I want to be in CONTROL, not it. I stayed awake most of the night, the energy was still there. I turn on the lights so I can barely see it. I can see energy better with no lights, only the dim lights coming from my window.

Then I remember something! This energy, it looked fimilar. Something I encountered before? I think so! I remember one night I saw and felt restlessness from a entity. It looked like it in a way. Black particles moving rapidly. But at that time it acted different. It was moving back and forth in the air, high up my cieling. It was fast but it didn't notice me. It had no interest in my whats so ever at the time. This restlessness was making me feel uneasy. I just didn't wanted to encounter another spirit that gives me nightmares so I went to my parents room to sleep. I slept on the floor, they didn't know that I was there since they was already fast asleep. That night I had the most inspiring of dreams, I met a fearie gueen, dressed in purple. She was the spirit of this grape vine. These fearies greeted me and it was just pure inspiring.

Does this sound fimilar?

Hi I just wanted you to list ways to improve your sight in seeing auras. Your posts and opinions are all welcomed and appreciated. Thank you

I'm going to go to school soon and I heard of magic you can do to help you study. I was wondering if you knew any? White magic only please. Thank you

Hi Iam new and I first want to introduce myself. My name is Vanessa and Iam very happy that I found this forum since I myself am very interested in spiritual discussions.

Okay long ago, when I was like 13 1/2 I have this nightmare. Many others but Iam naming this specific. (Iam 14 now)

This dream was the most scariest of all and it is the most different as well. I felt evil pouring in my chest (I was paralyzed) and it was the scariest thing I ever experienced. Of course my love of God would not accept this evil energy so I fought against it. It felt good, and it was dimensional. This energy was pure evil, I cannot explain how it feels in words.

Okay here is some personal facts: I been having nightmares maybe 5 times a night for a year. Once in a while still get them but they almost stopped entirely. My dreams were basically the same. Iam paralyzed in my bed and Iam being lift up by a spirit and being thrown in the air. I had also in the beginning have dreams that Iam paralyzed and the spirit (like a great wind) being sucked into my chest.

I managed to stop the dreaming one night when I conquered my fear. My love of God wouldn't let me give into these evil entities. The dream as follows goes: I wake up in my bed, once again paralyzed. This time only when I realized that I was dreaming did the spirit paralyzed me and lifted me in the air. (Note: I only saw the demon one dream long time ago, sometimes I can see or feel his/her hands on my ankles) But I was not afraid this time. I had faith in God and I started praying the Our Father. I keep waking up and being paralyzed over and over again but I did not give in and I kept praying.

When did it started? One night I was praying for the souls of purgatory when I felt a presence. It brought me shivers and my hairs was sticking up.

I don't think there is any evil spirits in my house anymore, I could only sense good ones now thank God.

My question is, what was this evil I felt? Why did I feel it? I know that everyone has both negative and positive energies but Iam not evil. I try my best to be good, and help others. I just don't understand. Please explain.

It was already edited

i'm really sorry about that

quote:Originally posted by runlola



ummm. you should edit all the "f" words...

What did you think you did that was a crime?

picture a rose floating over your heart chakra.
this is an ancient symbol of forgiveness & protects you.
let it go & don't have sexual fantasies about this Tim guy,
forget about that guy. Try going to the healing section
& ask for some reiki.

i'm sorry about the curses i'm going to edit it right now

i just was so emotional when I wrote it .. I stopped having fantasies and stuff but these entities are still inside of me

and no I am not lying, I am serious about every thing I wrote on here

thanks for all of you're help! i'm going to take your advice on healing

it just hurts so much

sorry about that, i forgot to edit "dreammoods" and stuff because i wrote on their first and its the main forum i go to .. and i just copied and paste it on here in hopes to get more opinions

i appreciate any input

no one else?

someone told me that something is disguising itself as God ..

another said I shouldn't reach for the hands? And that he sense its something dark ..

niice 69 posts ..

lol just had to bring that up

haha i'm so stupid ..

[]

well it wasn't entirely her fault because i never intended in the first place for her to read my guide .. it just so happened that she got a strong image of it

i was posting something in my friend's spiritual forum and she answered, but as she was typing it she just happened to say what she saw

it happens that she is a very strong physic, awesome though just like that she saw it

simiply amazing

anyways i haven't gotten in touch with her, she isn't on the forum very much

thanks for the help

awesome idea

I'll try to get some more members []

Hi mustardseed, I want to say I think what your doing is great. I really appreciate it. First tell God how much I love him and tell him I'm sorry for all the sins and all the things I have done to displease him. I have some questions if you will ..

I'm sorry to be a bother, I know you have a long line of people wanting help and all

So here I go

What exactly am I keep dreaming about? (I been having dreams of being paraylzed and an enity keeps attacking me, even have a weird empathic dream)

Is it me, or is something trying to do me harm or contact me? Is it just merely my subconcious or is there something more?

That dream a year ago where evil was feeling my chest, was it something I did? I mean was that the result of my own negative actions? Was the dream last night about my guide?

Am I on the right track in life so far?

Why is it that I have difficulty expressing myself, talking to others and etc? What did I do wrong to cause this deep anxiety?

I just been feeling so distressed. Why is my personality changing all of a sudden? Why can't I forgive my father? Why am I all of a sudden feel so distant with my mother, why am I causing her pain when she did not deserve it? What is wrong with me?

Also in my other thread "Seeing orbs" in the energy devolpment forum, what exactly am I seeing? I been curious for a long time.

please always know that i love you


-eyes

This is what this thread was about ... to find out what exactly am I seeing. Honestly I have no idea.

quote:Originally posted by cube

I'd like to share with you something that was a hard lesson for me to learn (in fact I'm still learning it) in the hopes that you can benefit from my experiences.

You can't receive love from people if you can't give it, and if there is a specific type of love you desire you MUST make sure you are comfortable giving it freely before you will be capable of receiving it from others.

I can relate to your social phobias I think. I'm comfortable speaking to a large group of people so long as I have planned what I'm going to say well, but I am not at all comfortable walking into a room of strangers.

It's that first few seconds where people look at you where I don't know how to respond, this is a case of me not being able to give the love to them that I want to receive from them.

On the other hand when I speak to a group, I know how to give love in the form of the information I present, so that it's natural for the group to respond with appreciation for the information.

So, it's good that you write poetry that helps you to identify where you are lacking love, but it's important for you to take the next step and address how you can love unconditionally so that you will receive the love you need naturally.

And most importantly, it is the highest form of love to not require validation from others of your love, and to be completely self-realized. This is something I am still struggling with, but I mention it because it would be a mistake to try to build your world around needing validation from others.

I hope this helps you, maybe someday you'll reflect yourself in poetry that's full of light and you can share it with us.

who ever said i can't give love? Look I find that extremely offending considering that you don't even know me and your judging me from my poem, and because I have anxiety problems.

This has nothing to do with my ability of loving back, and trust me I know how to love others. I love my family more then my life and I am willing to love others back.
This has nothing to due with recieving love, no, its a long story that I do not wish to go through now.

quote:Originally posted by findtruth

Awesome poem.[]   You have a very unique ablity[|)], I remember experiencing something like it in my early childhood (1-6 years old) though I lost it [V]. Anyway, it seems to me that you can sense the astral that overlaps the physical and sense the beings that reside in it. The little orbs seem loving in a cute, animal-like way. If you want to talk to them, perhaps try finding a friendly one that seems to think something like the same way you do.

by the way i love your quote, hiei is one of my favorite characters. Well I think when I was younger I was able to see it more clearly but ...

that seems logical.

quote:Originally posted by Damballah

did you write that poem yourself ? it was pretty good

(^_^) yea ... thanks

all i need now is someone who knows what it means!

hehehe no one figured it out yet, but i gave you guys a clue already

*shrug* maybe it is confusing [B)]