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Messages - BlackTalon

#1
Welcome to Dreams! / aliens!
September 24, 2004, 16:08:25


Just thought i'd share this, i'm sure theres some symbolizm in there...but it interested me enough to start doing some dreamwork.


I was on my way home after work when I look up in the sky and in the distance I see 2 ufo's, they were spinning around and each one had at least 4 large lights probing over the landscape into house etc. I got this sense that I should should run home to get my camera so I can prove what I'd seen. Then I was aware that whatever was in those ships were aware of my plans..so I started running faster.

These small ships the size of large stereo speakers, trianglular but very pointy start flying overhead trying to spray some misty substance on me. I know whatever it is is going to stop me from my quest from getting my camera. So I hold my shirt over my mouth and manager to make it to my apartment.

It seems I had some kind of confrontation with a being...in my mind I thought this thing was evil that I could stop it by using prayers and things from out of the bible ( not that I would in real life )...anyways this being is looking at me like i'm an idiot and I soon realize it has no negative intent.

For the way I handle the situation with the being I feel that i had been cursed in some way, something was taken away from me.

Later after these things left there were a few friends who showed up who all had these symbols burned into their skin. Almost looked like black tattoos, kinda oriental looking symbols.  i thought ahah! I can still take a picture of this marks and have proof.  So I take a few pictures of the marks the others have and notice I had one myself...it was the same mark as the others except it had a distintive different marking. I thought that was odd, so i took my camera and took a picture...wierd thing was when i looked at the picture of my own mark it was blurred out and had a mark beside it....made me think of "the intel inside slogan" but it said something else...somehow I felt i'd failed and made a fool out of myself....but it gave me a reason to look into dreams more so it was good for something at least :)

#2


I think it would be great if you added another forum in which we could discuss Near death experiences & near death communication...maybe even throw soulmates in there..I know this could probably fit in on of the forums already but I think it's a unique topic.

Here are some links to 100's of account in which would be great to discuss and have it's own home. These links would make great stickies for it's own forums "hint" "hint" [;)]


nderf exceptional nde's
http://www.nderf.org/Exceptional%20Accounts.htm

nderf - archive 2004
http://www.nderf.org/NDERF_NDEs.htm

nderf archive 2003
http://www.nderf.org/archives_2003.htm

nderf - archive 2002 1st quarter
http://www.nderf.org/archives_1stHalf2002.htm

nderf - archives 2002 2nd quarter
http://www.nderf.org/archives_2ndhalf2002.htm

nderf - archives 1998-200
http://www.nderf.org/archives_1998_2001.htm

iands - archives 2002-2004
http://www.iands.org/msgboards/messages/544/544.html?1094086003


Here's also a link where the skeptics have their say.

http://www.nderf.org/Skeptics_Corner.htm



#3
Welcome to Metaphysics! / New NDE accounts
September 13, 2004, 15:50:06


Theres a bunch of new accounts over and http://nderf.org...theres about 13 or so new ones but this one in perticular is interesting. Thought i'd post it here to see what you guys had to say about it. Not very often I read negative NDE's...well partially I suppose.


Experience description:

Well before I start writing anything, I feel that I have to give you a little bit about me.  In Nov. of 2003 that was about three months before hand i lost my mother and a friend (who is a girl) who i want to take out on a date. My mom passed away because of injuries she had in a car accident and my friend in a plane accident that we were both on.  In the plane accident i had broken my left ankle and was placed on leave from the Army.  It was only about three days later that i was told that my mom had passed.  I wanted to share that as both of them are in my experience.

    I was home a few months when i was told that i had stomach cancer.  I was under going the treatment for it and dealing with everything that the treatment was doing to me.  I was told that one of the meds could cause a heart attack but the chance of it was a million to one.

    A few weeks after i started i started having small chest pains and i went to lay down for a while.  My brother who at the time was an army medic was at home went to take a look at me after about an hour.  When he did i told him that i was feeling something heavy on my chest and i had heartburn really bad.  He took my blood pressure and told me to relax and take it easy.  He then told me that i was having a heart attack.  He had my step-mom call 911 and started treatment on me.  He and our step-mom worked on me till the fire department arrived.

    When i was in the E.R. i felt my body go numb and my chest was heavy.  I started seeing the room go black and i had a hard time hearing everyone around me but i remember hearing my doctor say "No we can't lose him, lets keep going, I don't want to lose him, he is just a kid, give me another round of epi and charge it to 360 and keep bagging him,"  Then everything thing went black and deadly quite.

    Then I was what i thought was the waiting room and my doctor taking to my dad.  Then my brother (who was in the E.R. with me working on my) walking in a daze saying "what did I do wrong, all the medical training i have and i could not save my brother, what the hell did i do wrong,".  I tried to tell him that i was ok but he could not hear me.  Then i remembered what my sister said happen to her when she had her NDE just a few weeks before.  I thought oh my God I am dead, this is what it is like,  but where is my mom and grandfather? where is the music that she said she heard?  Where is the light so bright that she talked about?  Then everything went black and i could not see anything and all my thought were played back to me.

    Then wherever i was started to fill with fog.  I then felt myself move along a hallway of darkness.  Then i heard someone calling my name and telling me to come along.  I was ok and this where i was to call home.  They were there to guide me home.  I could feel something was not right and i wanted to go back the way i came but i was told that i could not go back my time on earth was done. I was to keep moving and i would see my mom soon.  The voices keep telling me to move along with them and to keep up.  Everything i looked back i felt something bad was going to happen to me and that i need to go back the way i came.  Every time i look back the voices told me to keep up and keep moving.

    I told myself that enough was enough and i said that i did not want to go any further then where i was, till they told me where i was and where we were going.  The voices said that we had reached our point.  That i was where i need to be now.  I then could smell what i thought was sulfur and death.  Then the voices started to laugh and say that this is what my life caused me to have. I asked where i was and what was going to happen next.  The voices just laughed some more and repeated what i said.  I thought to myself that i had to be in hell, because this was not as my sister said happened her.  This is not how she said heaven was like.  Then i could hear my thoughts out loud.  The voices then said that there was not heaven for me.  That this was the heaven that was to be mine.  Then one of the said that it was feeding time.

    Then i felt like i was pushed back into a wall and my arms pinned back to the wall.  I felt totally helpless and then i saw what looked like hair ball with shark teeth come at me.  I looked to my right side and saw that the voices were little monsters that were turning into the hairballs and back into monsters.  They were the ugliest looking things i have seen and yet to see.  They looked like snakes crossed with bats crossed with something that had horns.  They had bodies that was like that of a snake and it had wings.  They arms and hands look like those of a bat.  Their faces look like snakes and they had fangs like a bat and a snake.  On the top of their heads they had horns, but not like the horns of a bull or a ram.  They had pointed horns but nothing that i could say was earthly.

    As they turned into hairballs i asked what was happening to me.  They laughed and told me to shut up and i could hear my feeling out loud.  Then they started coming at me and as they did, i felt sick to my stomach.  I remember feeling why is this happening? Where is my mom and where is God?  Then i felt them feeding on me.  I looked down at my what i thought was my body and parts where gone.  I then looked at them and my body parts where in their mouths.  Then one of them said "We told you already that this is your heaven and we are your God."

    I don't know why i did this, but i started saying the 23rd psalm out loud and they stopped feeding for a few seconds.  One of they said that was not going to help me now.  I kept on saying The lord is my shepherd, i should not want, he make me lay down in green pastures, for his name sake.  It was then they curled into a pile and yelled, "There is nobody to save you!"  I kept on saying the 23rd psalm.  "Yea, i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil for thou are with me, thy staff and thy rod. they comfort me."  I then felt my arms go free and i was standing and they were crowding in this pile saying there was no one to help me now.

    I felt that i had to say the psalm all the way to find my way out of this place - that i now felt was hell.  So with everything i had in me i tried to recall every word that i could say.  "He leadeth me beside the still waters and he restored my soul. You set a table before in the face of my enemies, You pour oil over my head and over flow my soul, Your love and kind have always been with me."  At that point i started feeling a wonderful feeling that come over my and i had to close my eyes.

    Then i heard a voice say, "Joe it's me, open your eyes.  It really going to be ok.  I knew the voice as being my friend that i had wanted to ask out back in Nov. 2003 just before she was killed in a plane crash that we were both in.  Then she said "Sandy, He is too scared to open his eyes right now, maybe you can get him to open his eyes,"  Then i knew that i heard my mom because she said "Joe, my sweet thanksgiving baby, (my mom would always call me her sweet thanksgiving baby because i was born in November) your ok now, the worst part is over now, open your eyes baby, it's ok to be scared but you need to open your eyes now, my little sweet pea, please for me baby."

    When i did open my eyes i saw her standing before me hugging me and she told me to look down.  When i did, I saw my body was one again. The parts that were bitten off where back on my body.  She told me that i was ok now and that i had a choice before to make but first she wanted to show me a few things.

    She took my hand and we were off.  The first thing she showed me was a castle.  It looked very old and very beautiful.  I could see knights on horseback riding off into battle.  I could also see that the castle was on a very green hillside.  I could also see shepherding with their flock eating off the hillside.  I then asked my mom if i could feel the grass because i had not seen such a hillside before.  She took me down so i could, and as we got close i could smell the grass.  It smelled like watermelon, it was so sweet smelling that it was overpowering and i wanted to eat a piece because i thought it was watermelon.  My mom told me that i could not, it was for the sheep to eat.

    The next thing that she showed me was an ocean.  It was not one that was on earth.  The water was a dark navy blue.  I would almost say it was a cobalt blue.  My mom said it was ok for me to take a drink of water.  When I did it was so good.  It was like having a raspberry/bubble gum/tuttie fruity snow cone.  It was like nothing i ever had and yet to have again or at least found yet.  She told me that this ocean is where they all come to drink and to unwind a bit.

    She then said that she had one last thing to show me.  It was not a very happy thing to show me but she had to.  I told it was fine.  If she had to show it then it was ok.  I was not going to stop her from showing me.  It was part of what she had to.  She took me to our house and inside the rooms and i was to see my family.  I was to see what they were feeling with me in their lives. I could feeling a great loss in every room.  Their hearts were heavy with sadness and wondering what could have been for me and my life.  I asked my mom if this is what Mandy went through when she had her NDE.  Mom said no, that her's was not the same as mine.  Everyone is different, therefore everyone has a different experience.  Mandy has not done the same things that i had done and she has not yet done what had been asked of her.  She still has things that she has to do before she is shown any of what i was seeing.  I then asked my mom if the reason she was showing me this was to help me make up my mind if i was going to stay with her or go back to my dad and my family on earth.  She said "yes."  She wanted me to make up my mind between the places that i could be.

Then she said that i had to stand before someone and it was time to go before him now.  She told me not to be scared of what was going to happen next.  Then we were off to where she called the point of choice.

    When we got there, there was a huge scene to my right side.  Then there was a bright light that came up.  As the light grow closer i saw a golden center in it.  When it stopped the center was right in front of me and said nothing.  Then i was told to look at the scene to my right.  As i turned my mom said it was ok, just let my feeling be known.  I could see photos of my life on earth.  My old schools and all my friends, all my pets, all the pranks that i played on my teachers.  Then the last photos i saw were of my family.  All the times i hurt my sister and all the games my brothers and i played.  When it was over i was asked if i had learned anything of what the other person felt.  I said yes and that i was very sorry of all the hurt that i caused them to feel.

    The light said that i had a choice to make.  I was free to stay or that i could go back.  The crossing point was right in front of me.  All i had to do was walk across two feet but if i did there was no going back. I was there to stay if i cross those two feet.

    I said that i wanted to stay but i could not take knowing what my family was going to be feeling if i stayed.  I wanted them to be happy that was ok but i know that they were going to miss me too much for me to be happy if i stayed.  I was told that it was ok for me to go back it was my choice to go back.              

    Then the golden light said to my mom to take me back.  She said ok that she would.  She then said ok baby just lay down and keep your mind on me.  Its ok to be scared but just remember you are going to be ok.  Remember that i love you and your brothers and sister and your dad.  I will be here for all of you including your new step-mom. Then she said to close my eyes and when i open then again i would be back with my dad in my body.  She also said that i would feel pain but it would be ok.  I would be home in about a week and i would make a full recovery of my stomach cancer in a few months.

    With my eyes closed i felt myself float back into my body.  As i did i could see words and answers pass through me.  Almost as i was gaining all the answer to everything i could ever want to know.

    When i opened my eyes some six hours later, my family was at my side happy to know that i was back.  I could not find the words to tell them of what i had gone thru.  Well at least the part that i feel was hell.  I had a hard time telling or at least getting them to understand that i was in hell for a while.  My mom was wrong about me being in pain.  I was not feeling any pain and i was able to go home about a week after.  I did make a full recovery of my stomach cancer in about three months.
#4

I haven't astral traveled yet, well that I remember...but this neg thing is really interesting.

I remember one night I was living in the basement of this apartment, i was watching tv..I was fine, not thinking anything in perticular then all of a sudden I felt this dreadfull feeling overcome me as I felt something very negative just hovering beside me and I also felt cold. I had a bible which my aunt gave me, I tried to read it earlier but i'm not big on christianity but anyways this feeling was so dreadfull I grabbed the bible and start reading it to myself cause I was scared literally out of my bones. I've never experienced this again but it was too overpowering to be all in my head.
Anyone else have something like this in waking life?

I know a friend of mine said he had something like this while going for a walk with his sister. They walked down this dark road, kinda out in the middle of nowhere where they lived. She said all of a sudden we both looked at eachother as we both felt something and we were so scared my brother took my hand and we turned around and walked back home. They didnt see anything they just knew there was something there and they wanted no part of it.

Made me think of bigfoot lol...not that I really believe in it or not ...but i've read accounts of people running into them.  One I remember was these people were camping and 2 went to one side of the lake to collect some wood. They were walking down a path and right in front of them was a bigfoot, yeti, whatever it was just stared at them and broke off a large branch and just stared. These two were so scared they just lied down in the ditch and curled up into a fetal position shaking..they didnt move till it left....Made me think of dogs or wolves when the submissive ones roll over and expose their bellies.



#5


Ok, I had my headphones lying by the monitor and I was reading some threads and I heard someone talking...i'm thinking huh? I don't have music playing...I put my headphones on to confirm. Put the headphones back down went back to my reading. I hear this talking again, now i'm looking at my ashtray wondering whats in there that could be talking to me...lol...just wanted to say you had officially weirded me out! wasnt till later I put my headphones on again and realized what it was.
#6

Theres some really interesting posts on here...I think it's time for me to start understanding myself better.

What i'd like to do is shed myself from my ego, so I can gain more of a childlike view of the world. I know it may be tough since I can't really unlearn and unsee what i've seen in my past. It's just that all these assumptions about the world I live in, how I view myself, how I think others view me, judging other people thinking I know them by how they act, or look. It's rediculous and a waste of energy. I also want to detach myself from certain things as I have a problem with confrontation.

I work in a hotel and have the great pleasure of having to tell people to keep the noise down, kick people out, dealing with thieves and alcoholics. Now i'm not afraid of actually getting into a fight as my intuition or my feelings is i'd rather fight than have to tell someone to keep things down or throw someone out. The problem I have with the actual confrontation is with my body it reacts right away, say a bunch of drunks walk in to the hotel and right away I know i'm most likely going to have to confront them and when the time comes my heart just starts going ( adrenaline rush?) i duno and I feel shakey and to compound that I don't want to confront someone when i'm supposed to be someone of authority having that reaction. So this is a big thing i'd like to understand more, as i'm not afraid but my body reacts and that holds me back. It doesnt make sense to me why my body would react, as i'm not afraid of death, not afraid of a fight,...so really whats the problem?....

Sometimes I wonder if i'm feeling something from other people, cause if someone is mad at me or i'm having an argument it feels like i'm being stabbed right in the center of my chest. Another strange thing I noticed when my boss asks me for a favor, say to work a certain day for him, before he finishes the first word of the sentance I feel sick, i can't describe it other than maybe i'm feeling ( what someone would feel if they wanted to ask you something but didnt want to be turned down )...I don't understand why I feel this way.

So to cut to the chase i'd like to learn how to shed off some of this baggage that i'd gained over the years so I can't live in a world without having to judge myself or others....and my question is what is the best way to go about this? I do meditate from time to time but i'm wondering if I should be concentrating on my thoughts and emotions or if theres some special techniques for this.

Another weird example below

1: A walk downtown to the store
2: A walk in the woods or on the beach with no people around

I feel all kinds of different things when i'm around people or if i'm going up town, but say i'm by myself it's almost the opposite, it's like when i'm around people i'm emotionally getting pulled around...i'm not at peace. If i'm out in the boondocks somewhere i feel more childlike, maybe this is because I have engrained in my mind a self image...i don't really know.
#7
I wanted to ask a few things to people who have been meditating for awhile.


I think I read this in some book, but that strange thing where it feels like your arms are in a different position, Say my hands are rested in the front then while meditating it'll feel like they're out to the side and sometimes in odd contorted positions. Does anyone have any idea what thats about?

Also I don't understand the images you see in meditation. I can understand if i'm thinking about something and it'd lead to an image but i'm not usually thinking and I see all these random images. People, faces, places. I remember once looking up at some african americans, and they were looking down towards me, as if I was a kid or maybe an animal. They looked poor wearing almost rags. Just seems so strange that the images you see in meditation are more vivid than my eyes can see. Could we be seeing into another time, through someone elses eyes or past lives or something...anyone have any theories?
#8


I'm not sure if anyone would be into this. Found this site awhile back through the coasttocaostam website. You have to sign up to play but can start right away, theres different card games and you pick whats gonna have a picture on it, ect, a remote viewing one and a few others.

http://www.gotpsi.com/bi/gotpsi.htm
#9
I'm wondering if anyone ever feels this way. It's the thought of being eternal or being aware forever. When I was younger when i'd think about dying and no afterlife or god it was a devestating fear, but now I don't have any worries about dying. Though when I think about living forever theres something in that thought that scares me..almost more than death and no afterlife...kinda weird ya I know.
#10

I was bored today so I was gonna try to recreate the sounds I was having before the obe state..which I didnt actually get to. It's not the best...I think one day I'll try to recreate it from scratch. The rumble part is pretty much the same as I had except it ecompased my entire brain while feeling electicity throughout feeling. The fast pulses were more on the sides of my temples about a couple inches out but i'm close at least with the sound. Just curious if this sounds anywhere near what everyone else has before obe....might take a bit for it to appear on the link.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/mindprobedmusic.htm
#11

Hello everyone...new guy to the site.

Found this site after looking up some information on my experience below...looks like I'm in the right spot.

I woke up from a dream...it was an interesting dream but nothing special...so I decided I was gonna fall back asleep right away to see if I could get back into the dream...I fell asleep...but I actually thought I was awake cause I got up and went into the living room to go on my computer...which was where it used to be in a different area..( didnt realize it at the time )...The room was dark and I noticed some reds eyes in the wall beside the computer...so I started turning all the lights on...went back into bed and decided I was gonna try to wake up.

I managed to wake up...at this time I was going back to sleep but this time I was aware...I got some electical buzzes or pulses on the side of my head...( had this once before so I wasnt too worried)...I figured I'm gonna see if I can fall asleep and stay aware...my body would feel heavy as this loud buzzing would overcome me...I remember thinking how loud it was, if someone was beside me it'd wake them up...I continued in and out of whatever level I was on...I would have other weird sounds like a zipper sound and a whip...not sure what that was...after getting tired of this buzzing sound and not being able to stay in that state I tried to experiment. I decided to visualize places...fields, mountains whatever and visualize myself there...this seemed to be working...but the buzzing was getting so intense at times It started to worry me so I just gave up and fell asleep. Is this the first step to astral or obe's?...I've yet to read anything on these forums but i'm gonna have a look now...thought i'd share my first experience.
#12
Actually I had a good chuckle when you were talking about dreams and that when you believe things they happen. I don't know how many times in dreams I see a light switch and said "I bet you theres no power or it won't turn on will it? ..and it never does"..

The one thing about dreams I don't understand compared to waking reality is. Why do I really have no fears in dreams...or at least not as much or the same kind of fear. Even when I don't realize i'm dreaming. In a dream if i'm around alot of people or interacting theres no thought of how those people think of me or judge me. In reality however it's a bit different, i'ts more of a childlike state of your in your own world and nobody else really effects you. I'm still using the same mind in my dream than I am in waking reality, so why should it be different?...

So it seems the dreamstate mind should be the type of mind state I should have in real life. Just a curious spirit wandering around, not caught up with thoughts of work and worrying about your bills.

Dreamstate
When your a child
NDE
Maybe astral travelling too? ( never been there ) that i'm aware of.

These 4 are quite simillar, you just wander around in a curious state, a happy spirit experiencing.

Then theres the physical reality of the adult state, to think of it compared to those makes me think that my mind is poisoned. Maybe this state is more fearfull because my mind knows my physical body is mortal and has to keep it from danger.  Maybe in the other states I step outside of my human brain and that is where the problem is.

Any thoughts on this?..don't mind me i'm just rambling [:D]
#13

I've never read any of the Monroe books..maybe one day. I take my ideas and theories out of some religion, nde's and some from whatever else seems to hit me.

I tend to lean more towards the side of us doing the greating rather than praying for "god" to help us. Most things i've read seem to point to us being a part of god or a part of everything. Although i've never experienced "oneness" other than in a dream I still see it come up all the time, especially in nde's.

I've always believed for some reason that we can create anything we want if we believe it ( levitate, fly, heal whatever ). I think that may take awhile to get that far because of the way our minds throughout the generations have been programmed to believe this kind of thought is rediculous.

I know I worked on creative visualization and faith healing for a specific kind of healing for about 2 years and learned a little bit about it.
Like meditation I would concentrate on the area of healing and try to keep that in mind all day or whenever I thought about it. I would visualize the healed part of the body and it eventually made my awareness very strong...or at least more focused that I had known about before.

I found there were many layers of belief..when I really thought i wholeheartedly believed in what I was doing I realized later that I only chipped away a small piece getting to the real belief...kinda weird for me to explain. I always felt like I was just about to..for lack of better words fall into the cavern of true believe for manifestation...but I could could never quite get there. Now I don't know if it's because i'm not truly believing what i'm doing, a fear is holding me back, or my mind is fighting with me.

The interesting thing about those two years is now having an enhanced awareness...at least within my body that I can move around like a strobe light and feel strange sensation in the focused area. That is probably where the fear comes from because theres not really a handbook, nobody that can tell me don't do it this way do it that way.

I've been thinking alot about if I can use that awareness point and focus it outside of myself and be able to effect the space between objects.

oh well kinda got off track there lol...I don't really have a theory, just that I feel were supposed to keep evolving and learning.
#14
yes, thank you. You can deliver the pizza to the front gates...the big white pearly ones.
#15
Welcome to the site, nice ta meecha :)
#16
Welcome to Members Introductions! / Hello everyone
September 28, 2004, 09:06:15
Although i'm new here myself...welcome to the site [:D]
#17
Welcome to Members Introductions! / hi everyone
September 22, 2004, 10:49:14
Welcome to the site...nice image, makes me want to have a nap.
#18
Interesting topic...

all I can add is that I was once one of those bullies as a teenager. I didn't go out of my way to beat people but I made sure to make sure people knew I wasnt scared of anything. This was because like someone else said was weakness. This was my cover to protect myself so I would exploit other peoples weaknesses to save myself from hurt. When i think back i'm ashamed of things I did but I suppose that was part of my learning process as I was learning how to deal with  my own weaknesses and at the time this was the only thing I knew that worked to take my mind of my own insecurities.

I wouldnt go as far to say it was instinct it was just the only way I knew how as I didn't know I could look at life differently than what I was experiencing at the time.

I'm not a bully now so how could that be instinct, if i'm feeling insecure about something now I don't react the way I used to..now i try to make people fit in or feel at ease when i'm around them. I think if it was instinct i'd always resort back to my old ways.
#19
Hey kodemaster, cool to see someone here besides myself who makes music. I liked a few of your tracks especially "ultima" & "switchshift" good stuff.
#20
I haven't been here long either, didn't notice this post before thought i'd throw mine up...just barely managed to fit my big head in there lol...the other two are my partners in crime....the one on the left is very gassy...so I named him nuke.






#21
Welcome to Spiritual Evolution! / How to shed the junk
September 15, 2004, 02:07:46
quote:
Originally posted by Jonas K strand

thank you everyone for sharing! i to were in this state where things were very funny and a few minutes later i were in hell, and then back again, and at both the places at he same time... and many other states ofcaurse. jihoo! really nice i thaught. something was really happning! but this turned to more and more bad emotions, i never had no breakthrough and now i just try to get rid of the bad emotions through various techniques- watching TV, listening to music, daydreaming etc. i suppose something went wrong for me... im sure its possible for me to just "do it" and sometimes i do, but most of the time i just run and hide, and i blame myself alot to. as i write this i feel so pathetic... being so sad. did something went wrong there?

please, if you think of something that could be of help (much on this thread have allready been) yes but, i think that what i try to say is that everything is up to me after all, but at the same time as its true its just another bad reason for me not to take advices.

this thread have really taken some interesting turns since the last time i read! its really in present tense... cool.
its so good to hear that others also feel fragile from this training!

/jonas




You were saying you were laughing one minute then had bad emotions the next is there some thought or something that changed your mood into negative feeling? or do these emotions just wave through you without any thoughts attached?  I cant remember a time where I had a negative feeling without thoughts attached to it...or maybe an image.



#22
I know on coasttocoast am they talk about this alot they call them shadow people. There were actually alot of callers that called in on this describing the same thing...never seen one myself that i remember.
#23
Welcome to Spiritual Evolution! / How to shed the junk
September 13, 2004, 15:00:48
quote:
Originally posted by daem0n

another thought:
"one picture says more than thousand words"

i mentioned that we should affect our surroundings, but by no means do active preaching, we start out from the point of view of our listener, like "do you like your workplace" and then "why not", small steps, frank was leaping like neo and the rest lagged behind (those who haven't are not disturbed, i hope [;)], that would mean that they indeed lagged behind, even if they haven't thought so[;)])



BT
Are you saying here that we lagg behind frank because he's looking at things in a grander scale or because his point of view of leaving the ratrace to a more solitude like life is better? I'm curious in the interest of understanding you what exactly you mean by this...i'm a bit slow sometimes :)


quote:

about two years ago i read a lot about buddhism, tried to convince people, but there were 2 problems :
1)i still had problems which buddhism should solve
2)i had no point of view how it should look like and where were we then
3)it wasn't practise, just knowledge

now i don't have to run around and try to convince anyone, my presence is enough, some people are disturbed by it, but they are the ones that have to back down, they see what it is like, and some want to listen ...



BT
What exactly were you trying to convince people about?



quote:

just wanted to show the situation from another view, when you know (or think you know) what to do orwhen you do it,

give example, be the active one, not the closed sarcastic "sage" in the ivory tower
on the other hand, you must know the moment, distinguish between easening the symptoms and healing, and don't get labeled as i was (the buddhist), when people could label me they felt they are back in control, he's a buddhist, he must have worked hard, it's not for me, so it is okay that he exudes tranquility and i'm suffering, becouse we are different, and above all, he's a buddhist and i'm not, oh and i forgot to mention, that he's a buddhist and i'm not ... you get it
still i'm streamer, hope you get the message


BT
I'm not sure what you mean by don't get labeled as I was. How does someone labeling you affect your growth? I know if I seen a buddhist which I have high respect for i'd probably wonder how they view the world compared to me and basically be attracted to their energy? or just the way I percieve them...peacefull.....i see what your getting at but I still don't understand the problem about how you "think" people are labeling you.






#24
Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Leg twitching
September 13, 2004, 14:22:12
I had that bad for awhile, my leg would twitch or my stomach and i'd jump out of my skin. I assumed it was due to bad posture as I spent alot of time on the pc, as I improved my posture I no longer have the twitches...but it could be something else.
#25
Pretty interesting I think i'll try this out. I know sometimes if my mind falls asleep too soon i'll have a dream that i'm stoned and feel so dizzy..if i wake up i'm usually in the middle or close to the shift over but then i get to excited and take some steps back.