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For me, I was able to cope with this by taking control of my own actions and feelings, or presenting them to others in a straightforward manner.

For example:

My friend's girlfriend is coming and he wants me out.  I feel this, though he doesn't say it.  It feels to me like I am "unwanted" and even "worthless" because of the feelings I am getting, though neither is the case.  It's just opportune not to stay, and better to leave.

My response: Bid him good night and go home (Take control of my actions).  Both feelings disappeared, and my friend and I were happy.

My little sister was very angry and sad over something I said to her as a joke, because she thought I was serious.  I felt "ashamed" for what I did and "sad" as a result of her feelings, which caused me to feel like a real jerk.

My response: Apologize to my sister for my joke, help her understand I would never hurt her, and help counsel her on what self-esteem issues may prompt her to even believe for a second that I was being truthful (Take responsibility, understand her feelings and work to re-arrange them).  After this, we both felt better.

From what I've picked up here, I think we "suffer" different kind of empathy somehow... by the looks of it, what you feel is a reaction to the feelings you pick up from others... someone doesn't want you around, you feel uncomfortable and unwanted... in my case, someone is angry, I quite literally feel that anger... as if it were my own. Same thing if someone is really depressed or happy.

To give you an example (don't know if it's any good though), some years ago I remember talking to my father about some political issue or other. At some point he misinterpretted something I said and took it as a personal insult. His anger flared and so did mine, immediately. I didn't understand WHY he was angry, and even worse, why I was angry. This, combined with my tendency to "broadcast" strong emotional states caused what I can only call some kind of weird "feedback" loop... in the end I had to leave just to avoid us getting so angry we'd end up hitting each other (something unheard of in our family, outside "brotherly love"-situations). After calming down, I decided to write down what we'd been talking about and my views on the subject. I printed it out and gave it to him, and turns out we agreed on practically everything. It wasn't until then that I found out why he'd gotten angry in the first place.

In the cases whee I can feel it "coming" (ie. the person gradually gets closer in some way, or those feelings slowly build up), I can usually more or less keep under control (with respect to myself that is). So, say I go to a friends house, whom I know is rather down for whatever reason, on my way over there I'll "make" myself happy and cheerful. Then, by the time I get there I'll have a kind of "buffer" or balancing force to that depression (obviously, I mostly tend to do this when the other person has "negative" emotions, not positive ones, at least consciously). Incidentally, as it will make their mood somewhat better, they feel more at ease, willing to talk about their issues, etc.

Finally, about you feeling "unemotional."  Could it be that you're just "calm" and "content?"  People get sad when they don't have something they want, mad when they're treated badly, etc...

Maybe you've just arrived at a place in life where everything is pretty much what you wanted?

Interesting point... although it is true to a great extent (ie. I am calm and content, very much enjoy my life, etc. etc. etc.), it is not so much the type of feelings but rather the strength of these that is somewhat  "strange". If I'm alone, even if I do feel angry it is never more than a light annoyance, if I'm happy it's just a contented, calm kind of happiness, if I'm "down" I'm just kind of thoughtful and introspective. To use a visual example, if a flare of temper (e.g. the kind where someone punches a wall or has a tantrum) could be compared to a wave crashing against the cliffs, my "flare of temper" when alone would be like perhaps ripples in a pond, or at the very most small languid waves lazily lapping onto the beach.

first of all, an interesting introduction to Buddhism:
"The Middle Way", by Jinananda (Duncan Steen).

A nice little snippet you can find in there goes as follows:
To those who asked 'Where do we come from?' the Buddha would give the example of a man with an arrow in his eye, 'Would that man say "Before you take that arrow from my eye, could you tell me who made it?"'

As far as deities go, and especially the monotheistic "one", a Christian friend of mine put the whole concept under an interesting light. Admittedly, I doubt his view is common or at least very wide-spread among Christians, but still. He said that his "God" is, in his view, very much the same as in Buddhism the energy, the oneness of everything. His precise terminology was the karma, but I think I can safely extrapolate the above out of it, due to the context, etc. within which it was said.

In as far as I've been able to see, the different "types" of Buddhism are just different views and (perhaps to some extent) interpretations of what one could call "the original", adapted to the beliefs and culture of the people that followed its teachings, without deviating from the central concepts. Now, there is really absolutely nothing wrong with this (after all, Siddhartha very much encouraged it). At the end of the day, they're all pretty much just different ways of reaching the same "goal".

I might've mixed up some terminology (or used words) here and there that to practiced and "schooled" Buddhists don't make sense. That is because I believe in finding my own way along the path, instead of following (to some extent) the path laid before me by others. So, if you disagree, wish to correct, wish something clarified, etc., please say/do so (I would very much like to hear it).

As an addition to what was mentioned in the previous paragraph, I suppose one could say that I am, for now, ignoring the Sangha (well, to some extent at least), and rather seeking my own Dharma. Once I reach a point where I can no longer progress (or perhaps another reason shall be the cause, who can tell?), I shall finally become a member of a Sangha. Or perhaps, in some strange way, I am already member of one, but just failed to realize it yet? Why, I hadn't even considered that... interesting...

Miracles are for a purpose, and no witness will be unaffected. When you do something outrageously undeniable, one of three things will happen:
1. A spiritually ignorant person will react on a scale ranging from disbelief to rage to mental breakdown.
2. A spiritually immature person will become your student.
3. A spiritually mature person will become your teacher.

And what kind of person does the following reaction fall under:
- Amusement, thoughtfulness and general curiosity but no desire to be a student (learn how to do it) or teacher (in what way do you mean teacher though?)...

Ok, first things first: I have basically not the slightest idea of the subjects discussed in these forums, except perhaps on the most basic of levels. So, I'd appreciate it if you could bear with me and my clumsy stumblings in trying to describe my "problems"... (and sorry for the overly elaborate and extensive post).

Lets start with the empathy, as I reckon it's a lot easier to explain. Since for as long as I can remember, I've had what I assume is some kind of empathy. I am not able to tell what one specific person is feeling, unless that is the only person around (obviously). I haven't actually tested it in any way either. Anyhow, in my case what seems to happen is that I pick up other people's feelings and make them my own. To the point where, if someone is sad, angry, happy, thoughtful, insecure or anything else I very quickly tend to sink into the same emotional state as them.

Now, if those emotions aren't very strong, my own emotional state tends to remain on top. However, if the others emotional state is very strong, or I find myself among a crowd or such, my own emotions tend to get washed away in the "flood". Not only that, but I've also noticed that to some extent I tend to project my emotions onto others (or at least so it seems to me).

One of the main repercussions this has wrought on me is that I tend to, when alone, be quite (although not completely) unemotional. I don't know if it's the way my body/mind tries to compensate for all the emotional overload at other times or what it is. Additionally, when I'm around other people (or know I'm going to be among them) my emotions tend to come up strongly. Perhaps as some kind of auto-defense mechanism once again? As I said, I really don't know.

To make a long story short, this has brought up all kinds of problems and doubts over the years. Things such as emotional "feedback loops" (or so I have come to call them), a tendency to withdraw from people for LONG periods of time (one of my most peaceful and happy moments in life was 2 months in the middle of he Australian desert totally alone), emotional dependency, etc, etc, etc. Also, I've come to doubt if certain emotions I feel are actually mine or not at times (or if other people's emotions are theirs). For example, say I "fall" in love with someone, and this person tells me at some point they felt the same thing since that same time. Now this, combined with my more-or-less "unemotional" state when I'm alone has brought up serious doubts more than once on whether those feelings are truly mine or theirs. Anyhow... so much for making a long story short...


On to the second point: Painful aural viewing. This is (at least for me) at lot harder to explain. Perhaps I should start by saying that my "normal" eyesight is extremely sensitive. I'm not albino or anything like that and I don't even have a perfect eyesight, but walking in the sunlight without dark sunglasses on gives me serious headaches, eye-pains and such. I hadn't thought that this might in some way be related until just a few hours ago when I read the article on aural viewing on astral dynamics, where something is mentioned about how normal eyesight is strongly related to aura viewing.

Back to the point. Just like with the empathy, I've had the "problem" for as long as I can remember. I have this extreme ease to concentrate on something (or nothing)... to the point where basically everything else around me is totally blocked out (yes, I can enter into a meditative state without even realizing it). And that tends to happen without me even trying in the least.

Sometimes, when I focus (as in what one does to try and see auras) on an object (although it is a lot stronger and obvious on anything electrical (cables, appliances, etc.) and to a somewhat different degree, living things) aside from seeing what I've heard of as being called auras (or what they should more or less look like), my vision is often overwhelmed by flashes, streaks, swirls and waves (for lack of a better description) of colour, mostly only partially related (or so it seems) to whatever it is I'm focusing on.

So, lets say for example that I focus on a particular part of my monitor, to try and see the aura of a certain objects' colour. Within something like 2 to 60 seconds (if it does actually occur), without (hardly) any kind of telltale signs or warnings I'll have my entire field of vision flooded with colours, which mostly seem more or less attached to any objects or living things, but as if flowing through (and around) all these there's what I could only describe as some kind of much larger aura perhaps. Now, when this happens I have to very quickly close my eyes and "break out" of whatever it might be as I get quite severe headaches and my eyes hurt if I even as much as try to keep looking at this for more than perhaps a second or two.


Well, I hope I managed to explain my little "problems" more or less clearly. Whatever the case might be, I would greatly appreciate any kind of (useful/constructive) feedback on what I've mentioned, either in terms of explaining, clarifying or just talking about them or to in some way "help" with them in some way or another.

Thank you.
   J.

Hi there. Just happened to run into the astral dynamics website, and figured I'd drop by in here while I was at it.

As with everything else, my main interest in the general subject here is due to curiosity, although I've had a few experiences (often bad, a few times good) with some of the things mentioned here. So, figured it'd be wise to know more about it... not just to avoid (or learn about) the less pleasant aspects, but also learn about it in general.

Anyhow... you'll probably run into me occasionally around here.

Greetings,
  J (or "Jay")