Messages

I think that how much of 'you' sticks around afterwards depends on how much you want it to.

The fundamental question is... is this the real you or is the real you a higher, dual self, that is controlling everything from some higher plane?

If this is the case, and if we are dual, then it's safe to say that we aren't really 'us' at all.

So, we may not even want to cling to our egos and personas when we die. Reality might just be a huge illusion or dream that our higher self is inventing at a quantum level. Also, you might want to look at it this way: lets say you had a dream that you had someone else's life, someone else's name, and someone else's personality and you had a whole dream surrounding this illusionary persona. What happens when you wake up? You are you and the persona in your dream quickly dissolves, fades away, and becomes distant. Sure, you might always remember having a dream where you were someone else, and lived someone else's life, but, when it's over, you don't cling to it, right?

Perhaps death is like the higher self waking up from a dream. And, when we reincarnate, we might start dreaming all over again. 

I can't explain how or why, but, the women in my family have always had these creepy dreams that always warned of something bad happening. It has come to the point where we'll actually call each other to make sure we're all okay when we see the other get hurt in a dream. It has been everything from dreaming someone got ill the day before they did, to foreshadowing a car accident, to people ending up in the hospital, etc. As for me, personally, I've stopped counting all of the spooky dreams that ended up either coming true or hinting at something terrible (or good) happening.

About five days ago, I had a dream that I was just walking around, minding my own business, and someone pulled a knife out and was stabbing me in my heart until I died in my dream (woke up  ) Note the heart symbolism.

I woke up shaken but ignored it. The next day, I had another dream. The same spirit guide that I have been seeing over and over in my dreams over the years, came to me, and told me I was in serious danger. She told me I was about to die or come close, and that I had to be ready for it, and have positive thoughts at the end. She was telling me that my time was near and that I need not be afraid but just accept it and be at peace.

I woke up thinking "Woah, maybe I'm going to die soon." but ignored it.

Then, I was just going about my daily tasks, when my grandmother called me. Why is this odd? Well, my step grandfather dislikes me and my mother and father and he is kind of controlling, crazy, and possessive. His reasons for disliking us are irrational but he does everything to keep my grandmother from talking to / seeing her family. She recently confessed that he threatens her if she talks to us. Don't even ask, it's a family soap opera we have going on. So, grandma hasn't called me or seen me in two years! I was shocked that she was calling me after so long. I asked her what she needed. Her response was...

"I had a dream that my late husband (my biological grandfather) came, calling your name, saying your time on Earth was over and that he was there to take you with him" and I mean, she was sobbing as she was recalling this tragic dream about how I was going to die.

I got off the phone, shaken, but kind of shaking it off. I mean, a dream is nothing to panic about, right? Only thing is, my mother oddly enough also gets these weird, spooky dreams, and she calls me all the time to make sure I'm alright because twice when she dreamed I got hurt and very ill, lets just say it happened very shortly after.

An hour later, my mother called. She was like "I just woke up, and I had this terrible dream that I was at your funeral, saying goodbye to you" and she told me to be safe, and be well. I actually laughed and said "Hah, maybe I'll have a near death experience today because grandma just called and said something similar."

Boy, I had no idea how close I really was.

I'm only 22 but have tachycardia so I stopped caffeine, tobacco, and even sugar is something I avoid. I stopped by my place and my room mate had a tall, tasty drink poured out, that I THOUGHT was fruit juice (I found out hours later it wasn't), but was a very concentrated energy drink with caffeine and ginseng, two stimulants I avoid. Last time I even took ginseng in a pill form, it weirded me out for six hours. You can see why I stopped drinking caffeine. Now, to make things worse, my room mate also put some cookies out in a clear plastic bag. At least I thought they were cookies. I found out later that they were energy cookies. One cookie = 1 cup of coffee, it said. I had four cookies, not knowing what they were. The packaging wasn't there, so, I thought it was just a cookie. Like I said, someone who hasn't touched caffeine in a whole year, just had a big tall glass of an energy drink, and 4 full doses of caffeine. Apparently my room mate just bought this energy supplement stuff and poured some out / put some cookies out to take to work later, to give to friends, and I got to them first.

Not knowing I had just taken a HUGE dose of uppers, I went to my fridge, thinking I just drank fruit juice and ate normal cookies, and pulled out a nice, tall beer. Yay, now I'm adding downers into this fatal combo.

20 minutes after gulping down my beer, I noticed my heart rate go up, and up, and up, and up. And my body temperature was going up. My face was burning and my whole body was on fire. I literally tore all my clothes off and sat around naked, and I still felt like someone set me on fire. I didn't understand why! I was not only having these crazy, physical side effects, and felt like I was having a heart attack, but I was also starting to feel very out of my mind, paranoid, and not sober at all. I couldn't sit still, I had to move all the time.

I started drinking all the water in my apartment. I had 5 full bottles but was so thirsty, more thirsty than I'd ever been. I tried throwing up twice but at that point, I think it was all in my blood stream. Then, I drank about 5 more bottles. Was still thirsty. My room mate came home and saw me laying in bed, out of my mind, crying that I was about to die and that I was terrified out of my mind - which I was. I told my room mate what I drank and ate and I realized, all of a sudden, that because I have a heart condition and am very caffeine sensitive, I basically just overdosed. And, that beer was a downer, and we all know that alcohol + uppers = dangerous. I was rushed to the hospital, where my pulse was at 150 and I was out of my mind for 7 hours. By the end of the day, I started getting my sanity back, but it was seven hours of tachycardia and sheer panic. Even the IV they gave me took time to work. I guess that's how much I overdosed. I'm also 5"9 and 120 pounds, so, body weight wasn't on my side, either. My cardiologist told me it's good that I got there in time because once, I had to go to the hospital with severe chest pains after 2 cups of espresso, once. With alcohol and 7x the normal caffeine dose in me? I am honestly shocked I am okay. I know that most of you probably enjoy a cup of coffee, and are flat out immune to it, but I have something called dysautonomia and need beta blockers just to lower my heart rate on a daily basis. If I'm not pushing 100 - 110 at a normal sitting state, then it's something. If I'm lucky, I get down to 90 - 95 beats when I'm super relaxed.

I remember the whole time, I was thinking that I was going to die, but I wasn't at peace with it at all. It was the scariest experience of my life and I feel very obliged now to listen to every single one of my dreams, and to listen to the women in my family when they have crazy dreams, too. This whole experience showed me that nothing is crazy at all. I mean, what are the chances that I'd talk to my grandmother for the first time in two years because she had a terrible dream about me, dying? Better yet, what are the chances of my mother calling me the same day to tell me a similar story? And what about my own dreams? Me getting stabbed in the heart, and my spirit guide warning me of my death - all happened 48 hours or less before this little incident.

I feel almost like I cheated death, at this point. All the signs were pointing to it but I'm still here and kicking! Final destination, anyone? Some would say it's a coincidence but it seems too big of a coincidence to me. Just kind of reminded me that maybe I have someone looking out for me, up there. And, I thank my spirit guide (or whatever entity she is) - she warned me once a few days before my ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me. Literally came and said "Listen, your boyfriend is about to leave you after four years."

So, she is very blunt. When she came and said "Listen, you're going to die, just accept it" I was a little freaked out, to say the least.  

It's been a few days now and I haven't had any bad dreams yet, just good ones. And, no one has called me sobbing, claiming they saw me die in their dreams, so, I'm guessing that's a good sign too.

Ah... how do I explain?

My best method for actually APing is to find myself in a lucid dream, or a very visual "fantasy" situation, where it becomes like I'm watching t.v., basically. Hypnagogic visuals, and such. I have found myself in very vivid lucid dreams, and a light trance where I'll find myself out in the woods, or by the ocean, or in such a place, but I'll still feel my body (barely, because it's falling asleep)

When I actually AP out of these dream or fantasy situations, I get a physical feeling. You know that feeling you get when you close your eyes for two seconds, see yourself tripping down a bunch of stairs, and falling? I get that feeling, while in a hypnagogic state where I'll be aware and where I'll have a 360* view. Like I said, like watching t.v. I'll actually start to meditate and concentrate, while in these states, to AP and reach higher states.

Each time I tried this, and it worked, it always felt like someone pushed me off a cliff and like I was tumbling at the speed of light, or going through some wormhole, or something. That's how I imagine being sucked into a wormhole feels, honestly. And, I'll always find myself in a much more vivid, and "real" place, with full clarity, 360* view, and, most times, I'll see an aura around my own body.

In a really vivid fantasy, unlike those detailed, realistic situations where you see just about anything and everything, and are a part of it, I just feel like I'm watching a random movie play out in my head. I'm not actually there until I become aware that I'm there. Then, I can actually project into a more realistic, detailed, clarified version of it, because the fantasy/dream becomes stronger.

Thing is, I have APed before, and I have had SP and false awakenings. Even telepathic dreams, all since I was about 15 or so. So that, I was used to. I just haven't had anything new or interesting start happening, like this.

You're right, Lionheart , I did try the light and sound machines but honestly didn't expect them to have this much of an influence. When I use them, I don't go OBE or even trance - at most, I'll get light visuals and my mind will wander into a fantasy.

It's when I don't use them that I notice these things, like, the lead blanket Szaxx mentioned.

I'm not so much scared to evolve, spiritually, or experience new things - I am a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to being sick, or uncomfortable, etc. While in SP, or while having this 'lead blanket', my breathing becomes really strained and as someone who has asthma and allergies, I don't like feeling like there's something heavy on my chest.

As for the fear scenarios, who knows. They're scary in the moment but kinda cool to reflect back on. It's like "Oh hey, I was in my very own horror movie"

Oh, I've noticed something while in SP mode and while now in this new heavy less-paralyzing SP mode. I can almost always break my right arm, free, eventually, and move it around.

Thing is, I have such a hard time figuring out if I'm in physical or not, because I obviously have dreams now where I have SP mode, and now this new heavy feeling.

I have had false awakenings where I'd dream about getting SP. Lately, I've been feeling my body bleed through into my dreams.

I sometimes experience SP in my dreams, and now, this heavy lead block feeling, too.

I mentioned this to all my IRL friends and not a single IRL person that I know has ever reported getting SP, or this heavy feeling, much less dreaming about SP/this heavy feeling. 

In fact... I told my mom, and she wants me to go see a neurologist, now, and is making me go. I'm 22 but she is all, freaked out now, and she wants me to tell the doctor exactly what has been going on... Yeah, like that will happen.

It's just such a weird feeling, feeling like you weigh a ton.

I bet the dream was just me being in a light trance, and physically feeling the heaviness of my actual body, bleeding in to the dream.

I've just never had it before, and now here I go, dreaming about it and actually experiencing it. Hoorah!

Probably a good sign and all. Everytime something new and bizarre happens, I just count that as a + and carry on, expecting more to come.

I had a false awakening that I woke up strapped to a surgical table. The doctor (looked humanoid) came and was about to give me a shot. I fought him off, and with my hand, grabbed the needle and tried to push it away. He got me, anyways, and as he injected me, I felt the effects of it immediately.

It felt like I was being injected with a very strong muscle relaxer and something to partially paralyze you. Yes, in my actual dream, I was feeling these physical feelings, as if my actual dream body was having a reaction to whatever was in this stuff. I started feeling heavy, and like a pile of bricks. I wasn't paralyzed and I could move, but it took all my willpower to move. There was so much resistance that moving my arm felt like pulling a 200 pound weight.

I laid still as experiments were done on me, and then, naturally, I woke up safe and sound.

Now, as someone who's had SP dozens of times, I know what it's like to feel completely helpless, but I've never had this 'I feel like I weigh as much as an elephant' feeling before, until this dream, really.

Well, about two days ago, I woke up (for real ) and there it was. I could move, but I felt so heavy, and it was exactly that same feeling 100% that I felt in the dream.

The best way I can describe it is that you just feel like you're wearing a suit of iron that weighs a ton and you try to move in it, the best you can, and it takes up all of your energy to do, and it just drains you as you do it.

Umm....

So, yeah, there's my weird experience to report on. Any thoughts?

Believe it or not, I've found that the bed/position you sleep in, also contributes to dreaming.

Want to hear something funny? I call my couch the lucid dreaming couch.

This was the couch I first got SP on, my first lucid dream on, and virtually every single time I sleep on it, I have a VERY vivid dream.

The couch is firm, and I usually sleep on my back on it, and it keeps my spine aligned really well. I have a theory about posture and firmness being important, while asleep, because maybe the chakras come into play here?

I stopped dreaming on my bed. In fact, my bed hurts my back. I switched to the 'lucid dreaming' couch and sure enough, for four days now, I've had a vivid dream every night!

This vs the 3 dreams / a month I've been getting on my bed.

I would also like to note that I went on vacation and had dreams on the condo bed every night, but, they stopped when I got back home.

I've concluded that:

Yeah, the Laxman is unbeatable, and provides the best experience if you're looking to lose yourself. Best visuals - lets you adjust blinking / brightness, as well as mix and match beats + colors + and mp3s, etc. The way the light bounces around in the goggles is also beautiful.

The Procyon is not as flashy, and the light show, while beautiful, is rather dull.

There were a few sessions in the Procyon that had a brighter light show than some of the other sessions, but still. The red + green + blue light show is a beautiful one, though, and I did get some visuals, but definitely nothing close to the mandalas produced by the Laxman.

The Laxman produces the craziest mandalas. The brighter the light, the more intense the mandala is. With the Laxman, you'll see the flower of life, sacred geometry, crazy kaleidoscopic mandalas, but with the Procyon it's like... not as ornate? But pretty. I underscore pretty. It's still a relaxing device.

The Proteus is brighter and gives more defined mandalas, and imagery. It seems that the brighter the machine settings, the more intense the experience... for me, anyways.

I really want to get the red/blue Proteus glasses, and a Thoughtstream (bio feedback device, can be used with Proteus - will make a light show based on your own body. )

Okay, here's another thing or things I'll say about machines.

The binaural beat + light flickering action is actually quite relaxing on the brain. In fact, if any of you take sleeping aids, have insomnia, or are on anxiety or anti depression meds, this baby can honestly help with all. I have all these problems, and suffer from them daily. When I put on a light machine, it's like popping a happy pill. 

The light + pulsing sounds really make your brain feel like it's getting a massage. If I have a headache, or any tension at all, it's like the light machines go into my brain, massage it, and I can literally feel all of this negativity, weight, tension, and.... invisible, heavy "gunk" just dissipate and float away. Oddly enough, my pineal gland area in particular starts feeling like it's stirring, and being poked and prodded, and influenced by something.

Also, the feeling of relaxation is much more potent than something off the shelves. Well, at least for me. It just feels like your whole body lets go of all tension, and you just slip into a void where nothing exists but your consciousness and this pulsing, and vibrating color, all around you, easing your mind into pure relaxation. I literally feel it pulling me like a magnet. The relaxation. My mouth will gape, I'll start to drool, my head will tilt to the side, and I'll start leaning over, when using one of these machines. I get so relaxed that I just go limp and surrender to the light! 

I get a mixture of visual (possibly from DMT in the pineal gland triggered by light) hypnogogic-like visuals, where I'll see alien and far away landscapes, and all sorts of amazing stuff. Then, I'll get mandalas, and swirling patterns, etc. Sometimes, I get both at once! Mind visuals AND geometric patterns

On another note, I am glad that I got the Procyon refurbushed and for very cheap. The Procyon is a machine by Mindplace that usually runs for $270 and its only advantage to its much cheaper $180 counterpart the Proteus is that it has the addition of blue added to it, while Proteus only has red and green.

Well, the procyon has six total lights, while Proteus has eight. To me, this makes all the difference in the world, and I'd gladly sacrifice a color for extra brightness. When not in the mood for the Laxman, I find myself going for the Proteus quite often.

In fact, last night, I fell asleep with the Proteus on, and had many colorful dreams.

Well, I adjust my brightness to whatever I want it to be at. I do like turning the brightness up, though, it makes it more visual and gives nice mandalas, for sure.

Last night, I fell asleep with a machine on and didn't even realize. I just put one on, for a nap, and next thing I know is, I'm waking up six hours later after having many vivid dreams all night.

Okay guys, I am back, with news!

I basically bought a refurbished Laxman, Proteus, and Procyon for the price of what the Laxman costs at retail price. Good old ebay bargain hunting. All seem to work, too. So yeah, I got them all super cheap. 

Here's what I have to say about mind machines: THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL.

Laxman pros:

It has a full spectrum of colors, it lets you put whatever frequency (including base frequency) that you want, it is the best out of any machine that I've tried for getting the ganzfeld effect, it has the prettiest visuals, open/closed eye, you can adjust blinking/as well as brightness, and it is the brightest machine that I have. Sometimes, I like to completely turn off blinking and just stare into the colors. Imagine finding yourself in a virtual reality scene where you're in a room that's made up of only one color - it's neat, and quite relaxing! Things seem to be without depth, also. You just sore of stare off into a colorful void and it's actually quite relaxing.

Also, it has nice background music, and lets you choose the frequency you want, with/or without an mp3 of your choice. Also, these are BRIGHT. I'd say these goggles are brighter than the Procyon for sure, and brighter than the Proteus by far (although the Proteus is a good second choice if you're after brightness). The brighter the machine, it seems, the more complex the geometry and patterns become. And, the Laxman, out of all my three machines, is the brightest shining star of the lot. The Proteus is pretty bright, though, and it's cheap. It doesn't compare to the blazing brightness of the Laxman, though.

The Laxman seems to show me the flower of life, and other beautiful geometrical patterns, a lot.  

Cons: Kind of bulky and sometimes hurts your eyes when you don't expect the light to get quite so intense.

Honestly, aside from that, I can't find many cons for this, so I'm going to go on to the next one.

Proteus pros:

It has two colors, which is nice. Red and green. Red is more stimulating, green is more relaxing. I see shades of blue, white, orange, and yellow sometimes. All in all, this machine is GREAT because it's brighter than the Procyon (its much more expensive successor). The Proteus has 8 total flashing LEDs (four on each eye), while the Procyon only has 6 (three on each eye). Anyways, another pro are the lightweight glasses. It's a very relaxing machine, indeed. There's no fancy background music like in the Laxman, and it has a lot of beeping-type binaural beats, but it's still relaxing on the mind.

Cons: Only two colors. Also, could be more diverse on the binaural beats/sounds, but it's not bad at all.

Procyon pros: Has three colors: RGB, which are BEAUTIFUL when joined in unison. It's a simply marvelous device. The blue really makes the device stand out from the Proteus. Lightweight sunglasses-type glasses, again. Typical binaural beats, with beeping, as with the Proteus and many other machines -- if you want binaural beats + serene ambient music, hook up your own music via CD player or seek the Laxman. The Laxman has built in tranquil and serene MP3s that you can mix and match with the binaural frequencies.

The Procyon is more like the Laxman than the Proteus is, in the sense that the three colors RGB, when patterned a certain way, create the rainbow, as they blend and mesh into each other. I saw reds, oranges, purples, greens, blues, whites, yellows, etc. you name it. This baby will flash the rainbow right in front of your eyes, much like the Laxman will, minus the bulky swimming-goggle feel. Plus, at less than half the cost of the Laxman (you can find it for $260 or so), this would be the light machine I'd go for if I couldn't afford the Laxman and it's customizable luxuries.

Cons:

It's not as bright as the Proteus, which is its one downfall. Brighter is better. Better visuals the brighter the machines are. If the Procyon were a bit brighter, it would be perfect. One could also say that if the Proteus had a blue channel, then it'd be perfect. Ah, guess you can't have it both ways.

If you want to buy the much cheaper Proteus (I see used ones going on ebay for $100-120 sometimes), just know that they come with red/green glasses, but you can buy the alternative red/blue glasses separately, online, sort of making it almost as brilliant as the Procyon, at half the cost.

Then, if you want to throw some blue into the lot, you can just switch out glasses. I'm thinking of ordering these RB glasses myself, because I'm interested in seeing the lovely shade of blue paired with the four LEDs of the Proteus.

All in all, no matter what machine you go for, it will be lovely, no matter what. In fact, I love all my machines, now. Picking a favorite or a least favorite is hard, because they're all like my babies, now . They all have advantages and disadvantages, and I feel like they're all amazing in their own unique ways.

So all in all, I have concluded that....

Go for the Laxman if you have cash, because there's no way you will be disappointed. Full spectrum of rainbow colors, customizable MP3 sessions, nice tones, you can set the brightness/blinking, you can adjust the binaural beats, mix and match the existing mp3s and sessions, etc. It's so beautiful, and bright, and everything I dreamed it would be.

If you want a pretty machine that gives a rainbow effect, for cheaper, go for the Procyon. The RGB combo does translate as a full spectrum rainbow, behind closed eyes.

If you want something super cheap, though, and brighter than the Procyon, and can live without the blue tone being added in, then the Proteus is great. If you have $50 to dish out for red/blue glasses, that would make it cooler.

I haven't tried the Micro Beat Mini, Sirius, Mindspa, or some of the others, but in case I do... I will keep you guys posted.  

For me, it's not really a matter of which mind machine is the best. It's a matter of which one is gonna be next to add to my collection, because I'm now completely addicted to these beautiful devices. 

I actually want to get the Laxman and the Procyon. I have a strategy behind this.

The Laxman glasses will work on the Procyon. The Laxman comes with it's own system, obviously, which isn't supposed to fail. But... just in case, the Procyon, which is half the cost, can always be used with the goggles. It will just have different session styles.

Plus, they come with their own set of unique glasses. Mixing and matching sounds fun to me.

See, I've heard that they do have customer support. I've read these accounts from several different people. Maybe the people who didn't get customer support right away just didn't try hard enough to contact them. Trust me, if I had a problem, I'd be emailing and calling and annoying anyone I could until they could help me with the problem. 

Plus, if you have an actual glitch or malfunction in the goggles, for example, you can buy replacement goggles online, even if the warranty has expired and they won't replace them.

Speaking of which, there is supposedly a warranty on them? From what I've read.

I got into some financial issues so my order on my Laxman is slightly delayed, but I'll hopefully finally get it in 2-3 weeks.

Did you guys know that a man went on to OPRAH, yes, Oprah, and blatantly claimed that Sharon Tate was all into witchcraft and illuminati, and that they killed her because she was going to "leave" or wanted to, when she got pregnant. Oprah sort of just blinked and stared at the guy, and asked him how he had this surprising inside info. He just claimed that he knew because he used to be part of it, on the inside.

*shudders* What I'm getting at here, it's just so hard to know who's into what, or who's being controlled, or what's going on on the inside, because we're not meant to know what's going on in that scene. 

I don't think anyone sold their actual soul (is that possible?) but I do think maybe magic or some sort of hidden trade may be used. But we sure as heck aren't meant to know about it.

Oh, and if anyone wants to see some witchy/ subliminal messaging in MSM...

I suggest you look up the videos "Blow" and "Die Young" by Kesha. I got so many satanic/ritualistic/witchy subliminal messages that my mind was ready to explode.

Don't worry, back in the 90s when I was just a kid, someone took me to see Deep Impact, Armageddon, and Jurassic Park.

I had a very vivid imagination and I cannot tell you how many comets obliterated me, how much space junk has squashed me, or how many T rexes took over the world, in my dreams. The end of the world is something we're all as a mass consciousness afraid of, too, I believe. We love the earth and being alive, and imagining it being the "end" is depressing and quite sullen to think about. I bet it does mean SOMETHING, but don't take it too literally. I honestly compare my nightmare-ish dreams and dreams in general to a movie where I am the director.

Thus, sometimes, I just think of dreams as being like movies. Maybe you wanted to watch an end of the world movie, so your brain put one on. 

Congrats on buying the tank! I'm still waiting for my Laxman to get here. Floating is on my list of stuff to try, too, I just need to research it some more.

Well, fear not, I'm not on the bandwagon for complete and utter detox, as they call it.  I've read that mercury does affect a lot of glands/body parts, including those that produce hormones. The pineal gland is still a gland, that produces hormones. That's all I meant. I read a discussion about how mercury can cause insomnia, tiredness, and people being generally more unhappy, and those do seem like they're linked with the pineal gland. My hormones are all out of whack. My autonomic system is in a complete dysfunction, so I produce more adrenaline and am always in fight mode. I produce more T because of this disorder. I produce more insulin than the average person, as well. My sleeping patterns have been a mess for as long as I can remember, so, I'm only assuming that there's something messed up with the way I produce melatonin, serotonin, DMT, etc. I mean, my brain is basically confused on how much or how little of a hormone/substance to release. It seems like, even if the mercury is not per se completely poisoning my brain entirely, it's still poisoning the brain to SOME extent, because mercury is a poison. Yes, the pineal gland may work better once you take out mercury, but so will the heart, and so will the liver, and so will MANY body parts, I'm sure, is what I'm saying. I'm not doing this thinking I'm going to turn into Buddha and become enlightened, afterwards. A lot of people in the success stories, that I've read about, did claim the brain fog (that I seem to have) got much better after getting rid of mercury. Two years ago, I had three fillings. Within the last two years, I had to get three more very close together. Since then, I have felt my energy levels plummet, my chest pains got worse, my brain fog became worse, etc.

Thing is, I've been slowly experimenting with slowly getting toxins/some heavy metals out of my body. I drink lots of lemon juice, eat kelp, garlic, and take lots fish oils and 5 vitamins. That's about as extreme as my detox goes... But, since doing all this, or becoming healthier, and "supposedly" flushing some bad things out of my system, I have felt a whole of a lot better. Oh, and I drink lots of different teas. My dream recall and ease to slip into meditation will be much better if I had a good diet, that day, and took my vitamins. If I slack off and eat cheeseburgers all day, which I do sometimes, and don't take my vitamins, my brain will be in a fog and I'll feel like I can't connect as well, spiritually. Of course, I could be completely crazy, here. That, or I'm being a hypochondriac... 

So is all of the stuff they keep saying about calcification and heavy metals being drawn to the pineal gland just baloney to sell more supplements and products? Oh, and books. 

Maybe I am being misinformed. Thing is, some people say you should worry about the pineal, some say you shouldn't...

Regardless, though, I do think mercury is bad and I wonder if removing it will have any positive spiritual and physical side effects. Many people claim they became happier without the mercury in their bodies. I'd love to have my spirits lifted and a poison out of me. So, for that aspect alone, I want to go through with the procedure.

If you type in mercury and pineal gland on google search, tons of pages pop up. I wonder if these sources are credible. But either way, I do think mercury is bad, and want it out.

I was on Youtube, watching spiritual healing videos, and one guy was talking about the pineal gland and how heavy metals like to migrate there. He was explaining that mercury and fluoride love to pool in the brain, and other organs. Well, I've dramatically cut down on fluoride intake and I started an iodine and supplement regime to chelate some unwanted junk. Chelating should be done very moderately. The toxins in our body work in equilibrium. When you take some out, the blood stream starts getting used as a dump to filter the excess out.

So, the man who made this video said that he had his "silver fillings" removed. Silver fillings? They're more like up to 55% mercury. And, I have six of them, sitting in my mouth. I did three days worth of research on the subject and I found out several scary things. For one, mercury can cause: depression, anxiety (social and personal), and mood and personality disorders. This got me thinking about how most of America is depressed. How many people have good old traditional fillings? Well, upon hours of research, I have concluded that this should be nowhere near the body. It does seem to make people paranoid, edgy, moody, and depressed. We get a mcg dose of mercury every day if we have these silver fillings. The more you chew or grind on them, the more vapor will get released. Mercury can also cause: blurry vision, ringing in ears, fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, cancer, some neurological disorders, autonomic dysfunctions, heart problems, breathing problems, autism (can make it worse), brain fog, decreased memory, diminished mental capacity, lower IQ, asthma, allergies, etc. The list goes on and on and on. It also does something with our blood oxygen levels, which is why they say people are so tired all the time. Want to know how many of those I have? Me, personally, I have: Allergies, asthma, anxiety, depression, insomnia, ringing in the ears, chronic fatigue, and dysautonomia. Dysautonomia is an autonomic dysfunction. Heart rate, adrenaline production, breathing, etc. all affected. In other words, I am already in fight-flight mode due to my dysautonomia and from what I hear, the mercury can make it SO much worse.

So, anyways, the guy from the youtube video said he went in to have all of his removed, and after the procedure, he walked out of the office and his angelic guides came and told him that he could now expand his mind and consciousness better because the mercury in the tooth fillings was poisoning him and his pineal gland. After further research, I've found that almost everyone felt the effects a few minutes after removal. The body starts dumping excess mercury into the blood stream almost immediately. This can result in feeling really bad. Blood mercury levels will raise dramatically, and then, the mercury will take a few months or a year to settle down in certain areas, again. There's a science behind that. So, basically, one of the most toxic things man could possibly put in their bodies, we HAVE put in our bodies. But it goes beyond that. We get a dose of daily mercury so long as it's in our mouth. We get so much of it, in fact, that once you take these babies out, we basically start dumping so much mercury into the blood that we may get flu-like symptoms for a while. The body goes into haywire. Many people who have had these mercury fillings out claim they start getting what feels a lot like withdrawal symptoms. Luckily, this balances out over the months. I've read and watched many success stories and I've found out that many people had a higher clarity of consciousness once they stopped being poisoned. Many said the ringing in their head went away, and they had higher energy levels, and could concentrate more. You'll be able to visualize better, and have more clarity in your mind's eye. Once you take mercury out, the pineal gland will start dumping its own stored mercury into the blood stream.

If a dentist ever tells you "Oh no, it's fine to have mercury fillings. I doubt your mercury levels are dangerously high." don't listen to it. Why? Well, for one, it's mercury. I don't want my toxic mercury levels to be in the safe zone -- I don't want to have them AT ALL. No thank you. I want my body to stop having a direct source to it altogether. Also, if they are so harmless, and can be left where they are, then why is it that when people remove them, they get so sick for a few days/weeks/months? It's because we had so much excess mercury stored up in various body parts like the brain and the liver, and taking these out causes the body starts dumping toxic waste into the bloodstream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VdQDj6ejNc

This is the guy that claims he connected to star and angel beings after getting his mercury fillings out. He said they told him he was being poisoned. Whether or not he did see star beings is besides the point, though. I really want these things out of me because I do feel a strong body-spirit connection. My body is my temple and I don't want my temple to be poisoned by this junk. The spirit is connected to this body and chose this to be its temporary temple. I don't think the spirit deserves to have its temple be continually poisoned by one of the most toxic things out there. It's bad enough that fluoride is lingering in the brain. Mercury is also attracted to the brain. Apparently, from what I've read, the pineal gland that produces DMT is just highly attracted to junk like fluoride, mercury, calcium, and probably other stuff. Things pool there all the time. In fact, it makes me wonder if the pineal has some magnetic force to it that attracts heavy metals. I believe the pineal gland has small crystal deposits, so I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Anyhow, I don't expect to see star beings, or angels, when I get my procedure done (which shall be soon, hopefully), but I will do this as an experiment to see if my spirits raise any due to this poison being out of my body. Oh, I forgot to mention that a lot of people in their success stories claimed that their depression, social anxiety, and even phobias just went away after this procedure. Nearly everyone reported being happier and less depressed. One person's confidence, social anxiety, and shyness went away. One woman felt no longer controlled by fear. One mom said that her son's autism symptoms got so much better after his fillings were removed. People reported a clarity in thoughts and in wakefulness. People described it as seeing the world more vividly. So, anyhow, I'm going to try to get this procedure done. Gonna save up starting right now.  I only have six teeth to do so it won't be that bad.

If this eases any of my symptoms, I'll be a very happy camper.

I think fads are a beautiful thing. Sometimes, they prove to hold deep rooted meaning. As a kid (and still as an adult), I will become intoxicated with one topic for a while until I completely burn it out and never want to hear of it ever again.  Following an obsession can lead you to your true self. My main and number one obsession though is to keep searching for the answers to all things.

Oh, as time goes by, I forget some of my favorite childhood dreams. Or they will become fragmented. There are certain clips from dreams that seem to last 5-10 seconds, max. I will remember a snippet of the dream but will gradually forget the rest. Luckily, I do remember many different snippets, even from my early childhood dreams. Ages 5-10, that is. I remember a mere few seconds of these dreams but it is still a treat. I can replay a few seconds and connect to my childhood self and what my childhood self imagined, at the time. I still remember bits and pieces of dreams where my childhood self was being chased by undead mummies. 

It truly sucks remembering a bad dream with the kind of memory I seem to have. I once had this really vivid dream where I was all alone at home and this creature grabbed me by my neck and started choking me. The dream was very vivid and I remember feeling like I was stunned, and I started to vibrate and I felt this sort of surge go through me. The creature that grabbed me was humanoid, a light green, and it sort of looked like a cross between a grey alien, a swamp monster, and chupacabra. It made me stare into its eyes. It held my neck firm and made sure to stare right into me.

It totally stinks being able to recall THAT dream with total ease... 

I have a theory though that there are just lower astral entities that feed on our energies. So, when they stun us or scare us, they may be stealing some of our energy. That wasn't the first time I felt stunned in the astral. It's sort of like... what I imagine being tasered would feel like minus all the pain. Am I crazy or have any of you guys felt this before?

As for me, I am obsessed with the Titanic and the victorian era in general. The Titanic is just one of those things that I love dearly and have been obsessed with since the age of 4 or 5. Oddly enough, at the age of 4 or 5 was also when I became obsessed with ancient Egypt. So, as a itty bitty little kid, I started a shrine/collection to all things Titanic and Egypt related. Oh gosh, it was so cute. I'd go dig around thrift stores for hours. The third strange obsession was Pompeii. I because obsessed with all things Pompeii. Part of me feels like it longs for that place and time period. And yet, I wasn't there, so I don't know what it was like. How can I miss a place I never was? I guess we could envy those who were actually there, but the timeless question is, were we possibly there?

Are the obsessions that we have in this life remnants of past life experiences? Why is it that certain places, or people, or even eras bring forth such a feeling of nostalgia? After all, we've never been to these places, or met these people, or lives in those eras. So, what causes the heart to desperately long to be elsewhere so much? And, why that particular place or time? Certain places, times, and people can even show up repeatedly in dreams. I've had probably 100 dreams about the same place. Don't know why I'm so drawn to it. Why are we drawn to anything so strongly and passionately? When we truly love a place, or time, or even someone (maybe a celebrity obsession), what does that say? Does it say something about where we were? Or where we're going? Will our obsessions keep playing out in our next existence, should we have one? Are they meant to foreshadow and reminisce both at the same time? I see a lot of my in real life obsessions manifest while in NPR. It's like they're trying to tell me something but they're whispering it and I'm only able to hear part of the whole story. I wish I could know what everything truly is.

I also consider phobias to be an obsession. They are a negative one. Maybe something that once scared us, that we're still trying to be brave enough to face, still haunts us. Everyone has a boogeyman at some point in their lives.

You know what's even weirder? Sometimes, I'll spontaneously recall a dream I've had years ago. I can quite easily slip in and out of previous dreams, in my mind. They are quite hazy and get more hazy over time, but there are dreams I still remember from when I was five years old. Sometimes, I'll be going about my business, when I'd remember a dream I had long ago and will start replaying in my mind.

Perhaps, much like how we like to consciously watch movies and tv shows that are make believe, our subconscious mind likes to entertain itself with the best movie of all: your dream. The movie YOU direct and make.