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#1
I've said much already.
Don't regard your life as my business, but, was concerned when I saw your mention of doing away with yourself.
That could never be a solution. As u say, would cause hurt to those close to u. very selfish.
#2
Yes, I have wonderful family which I adore.
U communicate with my wife on IM.

Try to get yourself more positive.
Maybe more banjo time? I dont know.
But, u can be sure I do know, working hard while in your 30's has rewards later.
Just do not get so down on everything while doing it. U are building right now. Build and be happy at it.
#3
I am and have been engineer for very long time.
My job is to define methods to begin with and to fix probs when things don't work.
Oft times working or not is result of caliber of folks involved.
Do not judge people harshly. It has little effect on them but over time very negative effect on yourself, which may be where u are at.

.Be happy with what u have. don't regret it.
Be happy. Simple as that
Life is a work in progress.
Do not over analyze.
#4
Kevin,
Get away from daily routine for day or two and gain perspective,.
U choose to be happy or not.
It IS a choice.
#5
Kevin,
Whining about your current and wanting a different situation is all fine for a bit.
But, you need to do something. Get a hold of it and do something

Weather, work, corporate stuff.
You have not traveled the world much I would guess. I guess this since you have little appreciation of how well you really do have it when taken from a comparison perspective


Mark