Messages

@desert-rat
Well thanks for that "...but your soul / higher self is safe ...." Is that is true? Who KNOWS?

@desert-rat
Thanks for the explanations. I am going to take a look at the link provided by you!

@Steel Hawk
In my opinion there are two sorts of people out for spiritual development. First there are the ones living in happiness and/or love, that came with certain talents, like we all do. They experience, at points in their life, things with their awareness, that they can´t explain. Mostly the encounters, with what is available for them above the 5 senses, is making them grow, know themselves better, and even bring along more abilities to gather happiness, thereby ultimately more love. On the other side there are the depressed ones, living in sorrow and fear. With them everything applies that goes with the people that are manipulated, from young age, to be positive. Except through their negativity they are a magnet for things destroying them. That means loosing awareness, wisdom, knowledge, energy, abilities, talents, connections, ultimately themselves. Either they take the path of destruction themselves, or their way is to get what they are unwilling to do. With accepted violence of any kind, it is possible to do principally the same as the ones in happiness and/or love, but with "lower" means.

LOL, it didn´t looked like the "Jewish" rabbi wanted to make a golem out of me! What he was up to was already manifested in one guy in the community. He always smiled, seemed to be happy all day long, but was superficially retarded with his intelligence. It is strange that he looked rather intelligent, with allot of pain carved in his face, seen in moments him beeing alone. Under the influence of the rabbi, no matter what the rabbi wanted, he was doing it. He even smelled like him.

I always was able to differentiate reality from phantasy and vision. Maybe I went insane and that's over. There is also a possibility that forces in this world are not happy with who I am and the way i could have influenced the world with my energy. How about all the people and circles that wanted me are upset and are putting up a show, with some little influences over my etheric body, to make me go insane. Or they take energy away, as parts of my inner world. Once I heard "many are jealous of me, because I have something that is special". SO a situation was fabricated, in which I have the "choice" to go, join something, change myself to fit to the ideas how entities in this world should be, or, what maybe the real intension was, to destroy me, with the sweet factor of letting me "choose", whilst always being on the mercy and energetic influence of others, meaning there was never a choice of will.

Every time I tried to listen to my soul, or inner voice, the surrounding of people of all sorts attacked me, to bring as much pain as possible. As strange as it sounds. I was kind of selfless and wanted to give love to the unhappy ones, where it was needed the most. At some point, when I was 6 or 7 I realized that people in love are ignoring the unhappy ones as good as possible. Giving love to them seems to be the worst thing possible. Also for years I couldn´t understand why people aren´t helping each other out constantly in their free time, no matter if they know each other: Painting a fence, washing a car, carrying something, giving a hug of love if needed, to anybody.....of course having some time to relax. Why this unknown behavior is the way to go came into mind at the age of around 25. Especially the bible is ridiculous, when it comes to this: Love everybody like you love yourself..., but it is said in the bible, that god only turns towards you, bringing along the Holy Spirit, light and love, if somebody gives love to him first.... It´s kind of this is hell and I came from a place that is the opposite of here.

What happens when I become one with my soul? What if my soul, if it´s still there, doesn´t want me, which would be of no wonder? What happens then? Does the merging of the ego with the soul has to happen in life, or could it also happen in death? What is this immortality then? What does it bring along?

That severe an etheric body, to take it over thing, makes strangely alot of sense, when I look at my experiences with a certain person. Wouldn´t it be the perfect crime? Torturing somebody, until his etheric body is vulnerable, him not even aware of what is going on. With destroying somebody completely, not even charmic reactions have to be feared. Well, i´m a warrior, some say. So one way or another this is going to get down......

I know: Love works best. Which is a pain in the butt, knowing now how to get love in this world.

All this typing in the internet doesn´t really help. I might need a guru, showing me a way. Some form of trustful relationship, for getting a free mind, to unchain me from negative emotions in coherence with the past, with this beeing able to find a positive way. Or i must do, what must be done. I don´t hear my inner voice anymore, for years, since my heart broke with 14 years of age, more and more silence. Maybe it´s up to me, to be what the world created, what the world formed.

Important is how to make the people stop sneezing, coughing, harrumph, around me. Looking me in the chest, the eyes, then fastly at somebody else.
What is going on with that? Is there a possibility that your own conciosness and abilities are taken away? Or is this a game of influence? What kind of energy do people exchange with looks and other means?

@desert-rat
I´m from Germany. The main religions are christian and muslim. Beside those two all sorts of other believs and uses of spirituality are around: Voodoo, Wica, Satanism, Hinduism, Buddhism......

I don´t believe in any specific religion. After having some exchange with people from certain religions and reading about these, it came clear that generally they have some things in common.

The thread on the Pavlina page was interesting. I haven´t read it all, but enough to understand: In the end no solution was found for the affectet person.

@steelhawk
I haven´t explained my experiences in enough detail, so there is too much room for interpretation and misunderstanding. So i hoped the hints, in my first post, are enough to get somebody that understands into helping me. This is not the first time these experiences were discussed in a forum, or personally with somebody. Actually, the whole thing is going on for four three years already. Because no real solution resulted out of the doings of me and others, i am kind of demotivated to write it down again in all detail. Also this is a very big forum, so the possibility of finding someone could be higher.

Many things happened: It all started in the end of 2008, with Wicca people, Satanic people, Muslims in basements, secret "jewish" & gypsy parties, a big "christian" mega church, smaller christian communities, some spiritual medium people..... while these were the main people i was around, also some Hindus and others came into play. 28 years, since i was born nothing, then boom, all sorts of people were interested in me. Muslims aproaching me at a playground, christians coming from nowhere, talking me into something, Satanic people offering me loads of woman, a Hindu priest at a temple offering me enlightment and marriage with a hindu woman, me not beeing welcomend there anymore after refusing........... the satanic people not wanting me anymore, after refusing the offerings, the christian mega church people beeing angry at me, after refusing, the muslims wanting me to get muslim, having the most important muslims from the whole state in a basement with me, "i should say this and do that... bla...bla, not common... special", but i refused. At the end, when things started to get really heavy, a jewish rabby in a messianic community said "it´s better to be a servant, than a slave", his smell coming to my nose, entering it, throwing out the moron-moron relative that took some percentige over in my will, but me running away, the next time the jewish messianic community (there are also non-jews, it´s again too long of a story to explain) there clearly stating i am not welcomened anymore....

One more time this is mentioned: I was approached, outside on the street as an excample, invited and/or taken to these places. The thing is, i always have had this weird feeling with all of them. So i said no. Some were getting really angry. So many stories, no energy left at all to tell you guys and girls in this forum. Sorry.

At some point there was this ritual i explained already. Than things really started to get weird!

Before anybody asks why i even came with them. Something personal and dramatic happenened in the end of 2008. Then all this started.

If i am not near the level were my esoteric body could be affected, how do you and i know the level it could be affected? What is a etheric body good for in life and beyond? What is actually affected with woman pointing at me with the finger, that having energetic effects inside me, people sending manipulative energy through the eyes, to my chest or head, often also looking fastly away from my eyes and chest to somebody else, lauging at times "he is not even aware of it hahaha*"? What is happening here? How do i stop it? Happyness, joy as a counterweight to fear and terror?

How do i get rid of these influences? Or is there a way to get activated, to see and to know, and not to walk dumb on this planet anymore?

The question is if only the ego is messed up, and the soul alright, or if any kind of energies are acting, anything is happening with the soul?

We did. 

Well if you don´t understand any of that, than you propably have no answers.

My first thought was of demon possession , but this is worded so strange it makes no scence .  Maby if some one was possessed by a demon one would make a post like this , I dont know .  If Who am I makes a follow up post we might get a better idea of what is wrong with them .  It is also possable that some one is just having some fun by making a silly post .  desert rat 

It is no joke. If you don´t understand something: Just ask!

For many reasons and a long story of torture, somebody took over my body and actions at some point. It was the persons smell in the chest, accompanied by vibrations and heat, traveling from the chest to the head and the other way around.

I landed at a spiritual healers place. I was on a lounger, one woman held my feet, the other touched my head with both hands. They lead me verbally through grassland, a brigde, to a spring. Than one asked if i want to give all my lifes away, negative influences from other lifes. My heart, that i couldn´t hear for so long, said no, but i was so much in fear that i replied yes. Something exitet my nose with a hiss, that the woman breathed in at the side of my head. Immedietly i was unconciosness for some minutes. After i awoke i was myself again.

But now the problems changed. People started looking at my chest and then fastly to somebodies else chest or eyes. Also they try looking me in the eyes, doing the same afterwards. Sometimes stranger people outside ask me for the time or anything, even grab me, for having a look into my eyes, then looking fastly away at somebody else. Afterwards some grin at me. They also caugh, sneeze and itch around me all the time, look at the clock... The woman sometimes point at my stomach, that gives me immediately a erection with a following ejaculation. Also my body odor disappeared for months. It is already back now. Often the white in their eyes gets red, sometimes yellow, while they are doing that at night. One time a 18 year old guy was looking me in the eyes, with his reddish eyes. I lost every little bit of my will and signed telephone contracts for him, he selling the phones, i having big problems.

The caughing and sneezing is getting less and less. I have changed places, am hundreds of kilometers away from the person that took me over once.
But after months the smell of that person is coming back sometimes.

I don´t except any help. I just ask if this is just a show for the messed up ego i have? Is the soul still alright?

Please answer with not holding back.