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i have a fear of spiders,its kinda strange because when i was young
i really didnt know why i would grab ants that came into my house and toss em into a web where this one spider was.

ive been meditating searching for answer from my higher self and in this dream i was in this house and there was a spider on the floor.
it was small at first and i got the reason to try and kill it.Thats when the fear step in and all of a sudden i kept thinking it was getting bigger and bigger and it did about as big as my hand and it change its color from black to like a grey blue like look.

Alot of times i try to astral project and right when i get to the vanishing point i see a big spider or i think is see it like its right in my face.
is it some kinda of karma or some barrier of keeping from me spirtual awakening?

sorry ive been gone for so long

i had all these messages and the last post i probably had ya'll worried.Sorry bout that.
but things have gotten better with these voices and i'm lookin forward to a spiritual change.

there not all the way gone but i can atleast ignore them

hey came across while searchin on 2012
what ya'll think
i'd say the sooner the better   http://www.coasttocoastam.com/gen/page1886.html?theme=light

i have a pretty good astral projection tech
its mainly relaxation

so when i'm relax i'm trying to clear my thoughts then i get stuck on one thought at a fast random pace   and as soon as i clear that thought

bam its like my body is so close to actually moving by itself i'm relax every where and there a weird feeling not a vibration surgin through my body

my breathing gets a little heavy and if i continue without fear it feels like i'm gonna shoot right out my body

i think my problem is i cant get this feeling in my face or head
i astral projected before and thats how i did it
how do i summon these vibrations or feeling to the head

everyday these voices wont leave me alone
i take medication and everything but
paranormal things where happening to me and i thought that i was awakening spirtually

one day i think my third eye open up  it was like astral projection except this vibration tingly feeling was very satisfying 100x better sleepparlysis

and i let it overwhelm me and i was in a new world for about 12 to 10 seconds

anyway these voices  dont like the fact that i saw the this place and everything that God or Universal being has bless me with turns against me  makes me feel sad

they say the rudest nastiest an meanist things you probably couldnt think up in one day   and they've done it for 4 years

they sound like people from my family and everyone in the rap industry
they're all african american sometimes i despise my own race for this
because i believe this is real and that ive been deceive all my life
and this is finally the truth that i'm seeing

i love anime and video games but with the voices most times it feels like even they would turn on me which they do

i'm a kind person i would never do this to someone

is there anything i can do its gotten so bad that when i attempt to astral project its like i'm taking the whole globe with me

p.s.
these people also make me think the whole world is going to hell while i accend  i believe in this place i saw and i would take you all there if i could

ok today twice ive made it to a relax state and both times i got to even deeper relax state

i'm just laying there on my back and nothings happening
i need a tech to do after the relax state so i can get the vibration

if i cant get this to work then i'm going for the jump technique
in the past this use to get me into a levitating paralyze feeling.

mann how do i go about this..........Okay

well my experience is in two parts     alright the first

One day on a long trip home i was on a bus and i happen to look out of the window to see a huge dawn sun
it did something to my eyes i cant explain it like two red dots i could see on each eye it went away.

after that something happen to my body it got all numb it felt like i was turning into stone and all of a sudden just about all of the life in me vanish
first my hearing then my eyes started closing all by them self.

as i struggled to keep the last eye i had open everything just went blank
it felt like i died my heart stop and everything
i came too still standing on my feet everything seem normal
but then there was this shiny dot its got all kinds of colors in it.

lately ive been focusing on it and when i do the dominant color is green.

the dot or light stays with me all the time morning to night.

okay heres the second part.

one day without knowing about astral projection i decided to focus on this dot/light   i stared at it   the whole night with my eyes closed.
its real easy to see since its right dead in the center of my vision.
Anyway i continue this untill i fall eventually fall asleep.

The cool Part

i wake up and its this vibration.........ive had vibration before and sometime well they can be violent really hard vibes going through your body.

but this time it was like a sensation just pouring and pouring through my body......But.. thats just it    it was only going through the rest of my body but not the head

so i said to myself i'll try and make go to the top of my head
i did it then i close my eyes and two cresent moons they like intertwine
right in the center of my vision.   Presto
I'm in what i think everyone in this room would call the Future.

mann it looked sooooooooo Sweet   everything had this metalic look
it was blue  the lights where on everywhere and i had only one light on before i went to this place.

the doors actually looked like they would slide open like in the movies
and it looked similar to my own room except bigger.........
i could touch my ceiling in the physical world but here  it was sky high.

the stairs in my room its an attic like room where metallic blue also  
i couldnt see myself or maybe i'm not sure  the sheets where white
i cant remember how the tv look which blows seriously or the playstation in my room  

i was just about to go downstairs but then fear caught up with me
i started thinkin something bad might happen
and i started shaking my head right to left open my eye and poof!

back in my normal room      
pretty cool huh    

so i'm thinking that when you reach a vibration state you should let it
flow all the way through your body no matter how it feels

sometimes i keep my word and do this but then i start seeing through the darkness and at the end i'm always thinking there a spider at the end.

well thats it
anybody got some kinda technique for this fear of spiders i would be getting really far if it wasnt for those things

peace

just saying hi
i got something i want to post
i havent had any answers at all the places i ask this

is it okay if i post it
it has everything to do with astral projection i think