I hope somebody helps me to understand and accept obstacles, the situation I am in. I am going to post here a mail to Tom Chalko, the author of "The Freedom Of Choice" book. If there is a soul, capable and experienced to help me, please do so.
----------------------------
Hi, Tom,
I do not know if you are there, will you try to understand me and what will be your answer. But please try to.
I am having hard times... 2.5 years ago I have met a good girl at the concert. This meeting was so much extraordinary that there were no doubt we were there to meet each other. Everythng was going well until now, we loved each other and we do love each other now.
Recently she has met a girl and now she loves that girl too and she has sex with her too.
I tried to understand that, I tried very hard to accept that. For a moment I accepted that third person and my girlfriend's relationship with her, I accepted that third person so much, that I began to feel love.
Yesterday we returned from 3-day country-side holodays. This was first time we three met together. During these three days I experienced so much feelings, - love, saddness, disappointment, but I never felt anger. Two girls were together all the time. My girlfriend asked, if I am ok, and I answered Yes. I did so every time, even if it was obvious that I wasn't. I have never asked anything from my girlfriend. It is up to her, how much love she gives me, and so she loved me.
The feeling that I cannot get rid of is jealousy. I tried hard. Even if I accept the third person, I do not see possibility to accept their relationship.
Tell me Tom, is it natural, that we love each other with my girlfriend, and she has such relationship with her girlfriend at the same time?
What do you think about monogamy? My current understanding is that monogamy is a must at least for me, I cannot overcome that.
Please note that I am not talking about sexual monogamy, instead, I talk about indivisible, inseparable love between two persons.
Thank You very much,
I hope to hear from You soon.
Andrejs V, Latvia
----------------------------
Hi, Tom,
I do not know if you are there, will you try to understand me and what will be your answer. But please try to.
I am having hard times... 2.5 years ago I have met a good girl at the concert. This meeting was so much extraordinary that there were no doubt we were there to meet each other. Everythng was going well until now, we loved each other and we do love each other now.
Recently she has met a girl and now she loves that girl too and she has sex with her too.
I tried to understand that, I tried very hard to accept that. For a moment I accepted that third person and my girlfriend's relationship with her, I accepted that third person so much, that I began to feel love.
Yesterday we returned from 3-day country-side holodays. This was first time we three met together. During these three days I experienced so much feelings, - love, saddness, disappointment, but I never felt anger. Two girls were together all the time. My girlfriend asked, if I am ok, and I answered Yes. I did so every time, even if it was obvious that I wasn't. I have never asked anything from my girlfriend. It is up to her, how much love she gives me, and so she loved me.
The feeling that I cannot get rid of is jealousy. I tried hard. Even if I accept the third person, I do not see possibility to accept their relationship.
Tell me Tom, is it natural, that we love each other with my girlfriend, and she has such relationship with her girlfriend at the same time?
What do you think about monogamy? My current understanding is that monogamy is a must at least for me, I cannot overcome that.
Please note that I am not talking about sexual monogamy, instead, I talk about indivisible, inseparable love between two persons.
Thank You very much,
I hope to hear from You soon.
Andrejs V, Latvia