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Hey Everyone --

     So for the past year or so as I have delved further into mysticism and projection I have experienced a lot of social anxiety (panic and discomfort spending time around other folks - basically just having a hard time processing information about them that I'm not used to having).  From time to time it's been so bad that I've had to flee a scene on the spot from irrational fears, etc.  Well, on Monday night I came home from my girlfriend's feeling love all over and climbed into my warm bed, where I had this flash of insight.

As the love I had felt from her that night began to fade away and my regular anxiety returned, I began to notice something very interesting.  I sort of visualized (I hesitate to limit myself to just this word, because it's not quite visualizing, but more like pretending that you're doing it) that I was lying on my back with my arms and legs stretched out in a completely empty room that was the ruddy color nearest to the color of the inside of flesh.  As I lay stretched out I began to associate these waves of anxiety that I get with a little earthquake that shook my room back and forth.  Though the room was shaking I knew that all I had to do was concentrate on just lying still and letting it happen....just kind of feeling myself get tossed around a bit and being okay with it - just kind of noticing it in the same way that we notice our thoughts or other elements of our consciousness as we meditate. 

Interestingly, I also had a very intense and meaningful dream about my family that night and woke up feeling very hopeful.  On Tuesday I tested out the technique almost all day... I just kept seeing myself lying stretched out on the floor and trying not to do anything but feel what it's like to lay still and not react to being tossed around. 

It worked spectacularly all day and has not stopped working since!

If it's just light anxiety, I imagine slight tremors causing the room around me to vibrate.  As it corresponds to some of my physiological symptoms, when I get this type of anxiety I can feel the lactic acid/cortisol begin to bubble up in my ankles and calves...kind of a light iciness.  With the visualization, I still do experience the physiological symptoms, but I am able to disconnect myself from them so that my breathing patterns and mental state remain steady.  The anxiety passes and I return to a feeling of mellowness.  Often, the state that I feel right after waiting out the anxiety is even calmer than my usual non-anxious state.

Needless to say, this is a huge personal victory for me.

I've played around with the visualization a bit and found that it actually works just as well with other situations.  For instance, if I'm feeling embarrassed about something and that's taking me away from the calm I want to be in I change the visualization so that the walls of the room kind of pulse slowly with the same pink/red that your cheeks would get when you're embarrassed - and my goal is to simply not react to it.  Same type of thing if I'm getting distracted by worrying about someone else's conversation or if someone is staring at me - or really whatever demon I'm needing to overcome.  if it's someone else's attention that's bothering me I imagine a window in the room I'm laying in and a gigantic unblinking eye gazing at me through the window.  whatever it is, the idea seems to be to acknowledge it as best as I can and simply not react to it.  It's great, because in the visualization my body is already on the floor lying still, and it's fairly simple to continue doing what you're doing once you're doing it.  Currently I'm using the technique to tighten my attention overall and slowly eliminate all of my fears.  If there's something that would cause me panic I put a big red and blue police siren in the room and let it blare away while I lie on and feel the ground below me.   if it's something that is trying to distract me then I put it square in the room, put in the circus and the big band or what have you, and let it try to do its worst while I just lie there noticing what it's like to lie there, and step up the intensity of the anxiety-visualization to match what's happening to my external reality.


There you are!  I'd love to say that this has conquered my anxiety, but it's only been 4 days - granted, these 4 days have had almost no problems      I totally recommend this technique to everyone, especially if you are like me with your panic attacks.

So I had posted once many months ago about my first (and since that time only) astral projection.  It happened randomly, though I did feel myself leave my body and it was great fun.  Since then I've done more practice and reading, and also taken a couple of trips to a sensory deprivation tank.

The best times I've had and the closest I've got to projection have been in the sensory deprivation tank.  I highly recommend this thing.  Basically how it works is you lay inside an 8x11 tank filled with 800 lbs of epsom salt, which keeps you buoyant.  No light gets in, your ears are under the water, and the water matches your body's natural temperature, so right away as you get in and float you can't feel that you have legs.  your sense of self quickly drops off, which, as anyone who has meditated or tried to project knows, is, like....radical, man.   

A list of Flotation tanks, internationally!  http://www.floatation.com/wheretofloat.html


So basically it's like a pre-packaged instant deep meditation.  10 minutes in the tank and you can slip into the Theta waves (these brainwaves are different from Alpha and Beta waves - our waking and dreaming waves, respectively - and the kind that Zen monks experience when in a deep trance).  This is perfect for someone like myself who doesn't really have the patience, know-how or discipline to spend a year practicing meditation.

The first time I got in the tank, I hallucinated the most beautiful music I had ever heard. It was very....cherrywood music - lots of really amazing piano mixed with the most unbelievable trumpet section and blended into some aqua-funk.  That was cool.

Part of my reason, in truth, for using the tank was that I heard that many folks experience hallucinations while inside.  The theory goes that when all stimuli is removed from the body the brain creates its own.  Wiki: John C. Lily, theorist and grandfather of flotation tanks.

But something also had happened to me:  I started hearing a strong hum.  So strong, in fact, that I was sure a train was passing outside the building I was floating in.  But it fluctuated enough that I knew that this must be, in fact, the famed "vibrations" that I have never before experienced.

It was magnificent...as though there were two electric gyroscopes spinning outside my ears...or maybe if someone was waving a light saber on either side of my head....that kind of phased electrical hum.

The second time I got in the tank, the same thing happened.  At first I heard the most amazing and beautiful bluegrass music I could ever ask for (I didn't even know my subconscious knew any bluegrass).  Then something interesting happened, and as it happened I created a little narrative for it.  I began to notice that all of the music that was churning away in my brain was part of this little "city" of noise and excitement and activity.  the city was comprised of lots of people - the musicians playing the music, the villagers chatting away with whatever thoughts were going through my head, builders and artisans doing their peculiar function in this little town.  But where before I was "in" the city, and did not even know that there was anything outside of it, now I sort of "backed up" a bit, and was able to see that the city had a high wall that could be mounted and crossed.

So I crossed this little palisade and began walking backwards so that the little town was in front of me even as the music faded and the townspeople became specs in the distance.  I got further and further away until the music was completely gone and I could see nor hear nothing else, yet my attention (keyword here) was planted not on where I was going, but where I had been.

As I kept walking backwards I could feel these strong breezes behind me turn into gale force winds.  It became harder and harder to walk and seemed to require a lot of energy just to stand.  I seemed to be aware of the fact that my not turning around and facing these winds and this unknown behind me was preventing me from experiencing what I needed to experience, and yet I could not do it.  The winds became louder and louder, and then a couple of voices, fighting with the sound of the voice called out to me.  One of them was male, young, maybe an alter ego of myself.  "Go, go, go.  You must go.  go."  he kept repeating.  And then there was this other one, female, who for some reason reminded me a lot of Judy Garland - probably not unreasonable considering the whole Tornado part in the Wizard of Oz.  And, she shares a birthday with me.  This young girl kept saying, "Don't leave me!"  "Don't go!"  And that was about it.

Well, the other night I found out that a friend of mine is actually quite versed in the psychical arts.  She claims that she gained healing, precognitive and telepathic powers after simply asking the universe for them, but that the requisite bite in her sanity was too much to bear and she simply "gave them back."  Well, in spite of not being sure if I believe her, she told me what I found is a really great way of getting to the vibrations, or at least I found last night that it worked splendidly.  Hopefully it will work again (by the way, I should note that I have been in a bit of a lovestruck and happy go lucky mood and I believe this may affect projection attempts in a positive way).

The way she told it to me makes perfect sense.  She said she tries to make one side of her face touch one side of the room and the other side of her face touch the other side of the room simultaneously.  When I tried it it made so much sense.  "Of course," I thought, "you have to activate both hemispheres of the brain for at least a split second."  I won't try to defend my awful armchair neuroscience, but my superstition about the pineal gland (which rests between both hemispheres) and my positive experience are enough for me.

So I shall explain in better detail exactly what reaching the vibrations felt like for me for the benefit of beginners.  I did everything to relax myself that you will see in various other posts around this forum.  breathing, tension release, etc.  then I just relaxed all the muscles in my face and tried to allow the right side of my face to be sucked towards the wall while I also tried the same thing with my left side.  As this was happening I noticed a familiar high pitched whine in my ears.   It's something that is frequently noticeable during the day but can only be intently listened to when you're lying down and relaxed.  So when I turned my attention towards the pitch, I relaxed and sort of let it pull me in.  it would be the opposite of squinting to see into the distance.  letting the undertoe pull you out to sea.  The more that I let it pull me in, the louder grew this soft rumbling.   It's exactly like a seashell for two reasons:  the initial sound that I heard is just like the soft whisper in a seashell, and also, the way that your attention gets pulled in is analogous to the pattern, sometimes called the Golden Mean, that is found on the side of certain shells.  This pattern:

http://presentationzen.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/shell.jpg

So as you get sucked into this thing your attention becomes less and less focused on the room around you and more and more as though it's curling into itself, if that makes any sense.  as though your eardrums are turning in towards themselves, and that each is independently making this change.  The reward is the steady electrical hum that seems to revolve around the ears.

I'm going to play around with it a bit more and see what becomes of it, but so far, this is the only thing that has worked for me in getting to the vibrations level.

Hope that helps someone somewhere!

Just a quick note:  this past weekend in downtown Berkeley on Shattuck avenue (and Kitteridge) someone had scrawled 2012 on the sidewalk in chalk.  Somehow, it just seemed right.  Anyone else see any 2012 graffiti?  I like the idea of people getting interested in 2012... though somehow I couldn't see this happening anywhere but berkeley.   

So I recently moved to the San Francisco Bay area, not really knowing why entirely and sort of on instinct, and since I've been here I've felt "deja vu" more frequently than I usually do.  Though with probably all of my deja vu moments the feeling is that "I have been here in a dream."  The only question is whether or not I have actually had the dream or am I simply believing that I have had a dream about the location.  part of the reason I'm now writing down all of my dreams.     Usually the dreams are from years and years ago, and I recall them immediately when I see the place or thing in reality that had appeared in the dream.  Most recently I took a drive through Sausalito and found a little house that I believe I had dreamt about long ago.  Bizarre as it is, right when I saw the house I recalled the dream with great vividity.  It's strange because there's no way I have thought of that dream for years, and probably never would have again.  Perhaps it's just a house that just bore a remarkable similarity to the one in my dream.

Weeks before this happened I was walking through Berkeley when I gazed into the hills and saw a structure that instantly reminded me of a dream that I had had probably 8 years ago that involved what I believe was that building.  There have been more cases before that, too.  These types of incidences may have happened to me before, but never with such frequency.  Makes me wonder if in a past life I lived in Northern California. 

[Robert Monroe!]

Does anyone ever wonder if musicians (particularly those from the consciousness-expanding epoch of the 60s) have ever referenced astral projection in their tunes?  There are a couple of songs that I can think of that may be making reference to it.  The first is one by a group called Love, who was heavily psychedelic in the 60s.  Check out the lyrics to their song, "Que Vida."  Not only do you get a couple of interesting allusions, but in the beginning of the song there is a prominent "pop" not unlike the one so many projectors describe as having experienced.

Que Vida by Love

*guitar introduction and cork-like POP!*

With pictures and words
Is this communicating?
The sounds that I've heard
The growling voice then fading
And yes my heart was beating
Or was it just repeating

With nickels and dimes
You soon will have a dollar
Am I in your time
I see no need to swallow
Or catch a plane to travel
My mind's not made of gravel

Can you find your way
Or do you want my vision
It's dark there, they say
But that's just superstition
And in my last inspection
Is this the right direction

I once had a girl
She told me I was funny
She said in your world
You needed lots of money
And things to kill your brother
But death just starts another

*cork POP!*



Interesting, no?  Email me if you like and I can forward you the mp3 (gmail lets you send heavy cargo )


Here's another one I've noticed, authored by a group less known for being psychedelic than Love, but written by Bob Welch, a super-psychedelic acid-tripping freak .  I visited the "philosophical ramblings" portion of his website ( http://www.bobwelch.com/new_philosophical_ramblings.htm ) and noticed, LO and BEHOLD!, that he cites Robert Monroe! in a list of books he recommends.  Intelesting, no?  Here are the lyrics to his song, "Hypnotized", from Fleetwood's album "Mystery to Me":

Hypnotized by Fleetwood Mac

ts the same kind of story
That seems to come down from long ago
Two friends having coffee together
When something flies by their window
It might be out on that lawn
Which is wide, at least half of a playing field
Because theres no explaining what your imagination
Can make you see and feel

Seems like a dream
[Welch: "...mmm, your body means nuthin'... when you're...]
(they) got me hypnotized

Now its not a meaningless question
To ask if theyve been and gone
I remember a talk about north
Carolina and a strange, strange pond
You see the sides were like glass
In the thick of a forest without a road
And if any mans ever made that land
Then I think it wouldve showed

Seems like a dream
(they) got me hypnotized

They say theres a place down in mexico
Where a man can fly over mountains and hills
And he dont need an airplane or some kind of engine
And he never will
Now you know its a meaningless question
To ask if those stories are right
cause what matters most if the feeling
You get when youre hypnotized



I'm no son of a doctor, but I could definitely believe that these two songs are at least in a peripheral way linked with OBEs and consciousness expansion.  Maybe I'm just being hopeful, but I do get a bit of a rush out of the idea that I'm participating in a mystical adventure that my psychonautical heroes in the 60s and 70s pionereed. 


Has anyone else ever thought they might have come across a reference to AP or OBE in music? 

SO, this past weekend I had some kind of an experience.  It's hard to tell exactly what happened, because I can't remember a good part of it.  But the way that it feels upon recollection, is a bit stronger than deja vu...maybe even stronger than a regular dream.  Whatever it was, I am thrilled!  I have been trying for months to project, or even to reach what most people call "vibrations."  I haven't had anything like that...and I don't even think I've had a lucid dream before.  So here's how it went....

I went to sleep (drunk) on Friday evening and woke up the next morning at 8 AM, went back to bed to have what I think were regular dreams....  then somewhere, at some point (I can't figure it out) I felt the tips of my toes rising up, as though they were being pulled with strings into the air.  From there the pulling tugged on my legs and hips, and I felt myself being pulled "out" a bit... sort of slowly and slushy, more like pulling a baby from a womb than anything.  My body was pulled out from the legs forward, but then sort of flipped me upside down, and I seemed to see a vision of my own sleeping visage...closed eyes and all (this is the one thing I have seen before when trying to project).  Now I realized that what was actually "supporting me" - this is the feeling I got - was a cord or rope or something that seemed to be attached to the base of my spine.  The reason I say this is that I felt real, kind of strong pain (it actually hurt!) where the skin was stretching around my, ehem, anus.  Very much the same way if you would grab a dog by the scruff of his neck.  I did, in fact, hear some kind of "pop," but for some reasons it remains a bit invalid in my memory... as though maybe my mind created it or I'm just imagining it.  It wasn't the type of pop I imagined I would hear when I left my body.  It was kind of weak and radio-quality.

Anyway, once I got out I floated immediately.  The beginning was very blurry, and it's impossible to figure out any real sequence of events, but I remember being so excited that I was projecting that I wanted to look down at my body to see if I would return...so I did (at least I think I did).... I looked down towards the "ground," but nothing happened... it sort of felt too blurry to see my body exactly...so giving up on that quickly, I floated around a bit... very much like being underwater.  I don't think I got the hang of much on this first run...I think I was too excited about it all.  But here is what I do remember seeing (this take from what I wrote down upon waking):

I am transported at once to the most "HOLY" looking places.  I use quotes because I believe that's what I was thinking -- I was taken to a place where the chandeliers/candelabras were all very "sharp" and metal.  The vision was clear, but I could sort of see its limits...there seemed to be a slight translucent film running over my sight...maybe as if I was seeing very clearly with my open eyes underwater.  There was no one else around in this scene... it was like a had snuck into the 15th century in some bizarre gothic nightmare.

So I don't know how long this pseudo-projection lasted.  I don't have any recollection of returning to my body.  All I know is that in the next dream I had (this one was definitely a dream), I was talking to a friend of a friend in Texas, and I thought to myself, "Oh!  If I'm in Texas I should visit my friend and tell him that I was finally able to AP!"   So, take that for what it's worth.  Also, my dreams after that were very clear...possibly even lucid.  The guy in Texas I was chatting with told me he was "legally licensed to 'take out Ann Richards,'" and I remember thinking, "Oh...right, she was the Governor of TX."  I don't think I'm usually that reflective in my dreams.

All in all I was very satisfied by the whole thing...   oh, and as a side note, as I am interested in ego psychology and its relationship to what we know as astral projection:  The night before I had this projection, I had a really ego-boosting encounter at a bar with a lady .  As it relates to dreaming and projection, the last time I had a woman stroke my ego like this I had a dream that night that I was able to levitate.  Just thought it's interesting how when my ego gets boosted my subconscious seems to succeed as well...

Any thoughts or comments are more than welcome!   Hooray for me!  I'll see you all in your sleep!  MUAHAHA!