Hello everyone,
I'm a little bit apprehensive of posting this, as I'm fairly new to this field and have only been experimenting with long periods of meditation for a couple of weeks. I apologise in advance for any naivety expressed. Something happened to me last night that has had a profound effect on me and I don't feel particularly comfortable confiding in the people close to me. I am posting my diary entry here in the hope that someone might be able to offer me some insight into whether what I'm experiencing is significant or merely imagined. As I am unsure myself what to make of it.
Here we go:
13th July 2009
The weirdest of nights. I had been watching a short video on Astral Projection. The video talks about the silver cord, and about how passing through all physical materials and energy is possible. I also saw something about sleep paralysis, an interview with someone on the Seinfeld show. These things lead me to draw one of two conclusions:
1.The power of suggestion is more powerful than I anticipated.
2.The information presented me with the information required to experiment.
I was laying in bed, drifting off to sleep when I heard the voice of a women. "You know what you have to do tomorrow", she said. Initially it did not register, It took several seconds before I managed to regain consciousness and attempt a reply. "No I don't. What do you mean? I have to meditate? Is that it?" The signal was gone. Upon which time I lost all sensation in my body, my head felt as if some electrical force was being poured over it. "I will eat your soul", or something along these lines, something far more threatening – not the female voice previously encountered – surfaced. I became enraged, started yelling, but I was afraid. It was at this point I think, I lost consciousness.
I think I was dreaming, I recall being in two places at once. In my bed and sitting on the chair in my office. I was trying to connect with ET's and follow them on their journey to wherever they were headed. However I was held in paralysis - both mentally and physically – by a being I mistook for Emily at the time and it prevented from advancing. I was eventually after a period of discomfort, returned to my bed in the contorted position I had been sat in in the chair. On reflection I have to wonder whether this was an alternate of the reality I experienced whilst trying to communicate with a bright light in the sky In a waking period earlier that night. Its hard to remember as I believe I was unconscious at the time.
After waking from this paralysis physically I rolled over and tried to sleep once again. Paralysis again, I could not move my body at all. I knew it was there, and I could experience the sensation of breathing, but I was not in control of it. I could hear warnings, almost as if a pre recorded message of some sort saying thing like "you are not permitted to do this". There were several messages that I protested against in some cases violently – I remember feeling enraged yet again. I remember having the distinct feeling that I was being monitored, and there was some technology in place somewhere that was attempting to prevent me from whatever it was I was on the verge of doing. After some time in paralysis I realized that It might be possible for me to leave my body. So I attempted it.. and failed. The amount of effort required seemed tremendous. However I knew I had to keep trying, I had a feeling they were coming for me (who?) and I did not want to be held in paralysis when they arrived. I needed to shut down the technology that was making me uncomfortable. After a few more attempts and a tremendous use of energy, I managed to upright myself. Sat on the bed, I could see body lying there on the bed, paralysed and contorted. I managed to stand, although uncomfortably and remember feeling that my hands felt heavy like bowling balls, and my legs felt strange – jelly like. It look a while for me to get my bearings, then I walked straight through my bedroom floor. I recognized my surroundings, but there was something different, almost dream like about them, as If I was seeing in some other kind of light spectrum. I remember hearing a tone, the source of my discomfort and being convinced there was a piece of technology that was trying to prevent me from being this being. I floated down the stairs in search of it and straight through the front door, shifting form somewhat into what I can only explain as some kind of balrog. And charged clumsily outward into the space in front of my house – flying. Unimpressed with the speed I was achieving I shifted form once again to some sort of cat/bullet style form. Reality shifted from the physical, to some sort of digital equivalent, I was traversing some kind of matrix of electrical data. It was here I commenced my search or the preventative signals I was receiving. I remember not being 100% sure of what I was doing but I confined the signals to a specific area of this grid, then stood out to me as red flashing spots in the matrix of blue. And I erected some sort of being to contain them. One here I started systematically destroying them. Sometimes smashing them with my hands, others simply by thinking. It was during this point I received a signal from my physical body, the sensation of drowning. Water in my ears and inability to draw breath. I realised that I was still capable of receiving stimuli from the physical and returned to my paralysed body briefly to inspect my surroundings – thinking I might have subconsciously ran a bath and was drowning. Only to find my surroundings unchanged and my body in the state I had left it.
I returned to my mission and destroyed the technology that was causing the discomfort. I flew back in the fashion I had arrived to my house and level of reality. I remember feeling some agitation at what I had had to do, also a loud repeating beeping noise that I had identified as some sort of radar or tracking. I remember thinking at this point 'they are coming for me now' and thinking I should return to the physical as I would now be able to reclaim my body.
I sat in the lotus position at the top of the stairs. I remember registering the presence of two cats; the one I live with, and the one that moved out with my wife some time ago. And telling them that what I was about to do was "akin to Zeus" - I have no idea what this was about. I began attempting to levitate, but realised this was simply to appease my curiosity and began preparation for re-integration with the physical. I meditated enough to sooth myself and rose, walking back through the door into the bedroom, wherein I saw my body once again, in the same contorted position I had left it in. I laid inside it and remember feeling my limbs stretch and lock into their physical positions. Feeling returned and my paralysis alleviated.
At this point I was a little freaked out and scared. I still knew that they were coming for me, in which plane I was unsure but I decided to walk down the stairs and open the front door to investigate non the less. There was no one there I could see.
The experience left me feeling drained, tired and starving. I ate and sat at my computer, rolled a cigarette and watched some video's on YouTube before realising I should go back to sleep. I feared however that I would unwantingly return to this state. A theory that was confirmed as soon as my head hit the pillow and the sensations aforementioned returned with alarming haste. I protested, screaming to myself that I just wanted to sleep and did not wish to return now. Eventually I managed to fight the sensation and drift into sleep.
The entire memory of this experience was with me upon waking up today in total continuous recall. Whether this was a genuine out of body experience or a lucid dream is completely out of my grasp. I do recall thinking that they were one and the same. The experience has left me feeling confused and imbalanced.
---
Even reading back on this myself, I feel rather embarrassed to be publishing it. Has anyone identified with any of the things I explain here that are specific to this experience?
Thank you for having the patience to read this far.
I'm a little bit apprehensive of posting this, as I'm fairly new to this field and have only been experimenting with long periods of meditation for a couple of weeks. I apologise in advance for any naivety expressed. Something happened to me last night that has had a profound effect on me and I don't feel particularly comfortable confiding in the people close to me. I am posting my diary entry here in the hope that someone might be able to offer me some insight into whether what I'm experiencing is significant or merely imagined. As I am unsure myself what to make of it.
Here we go:
13th July 2009
The weirdest of nights. I had been watching a short video on Astral Projection. The video talks about the silver cord, and about how passing through all physical materials and energy is possible. I also saw something about sleep paralysis, an interview with someone on the Seinfeld show. These things lead me to draw one of two conclusions:
1.The power of suggestion is more powerful than I anticipated.
2.The information presented me with the information required to experiment.
I was laying in bed, drifting off to sleep when I heard the voice of a women. "You know what you have to do tomorrow", she said. Initially it did not register, It took several seconds before I managed to regain consciousness and attempt a reply. "No I don't. What do you mean? I have to meditate? Is that it?" The signal was gone. Upon which time I lost all sensation in my body, my head felt as if some electrical force was being poured over it. "I will eat your soul", or something along these lines, something far more threatening – not the female voice previously encountered – surfaced. I became enraged, started yelling, but I was afraid. It was at this point I think, I lost consciousness.
I think I was dreaming, I recall being in two places at once. In my bed and sitting on the chair in my office. I was trying to connect with ET's and follow them on their journey to wherever they were headed. However I was held in paralysis - both mentally and physically – by a being I mistook for Emily at the time and it prevented from advancing. I was eventually after a period of discomfort, returned to my bed in the contorted position I had been sat in in the chair. On reflection I have to wonder whether this was an alternate of the reality I experienced whilst trying to communicate with a bright light in the sky In a waking period earlier that night. Its hard to remember as I believe I was unconscious at the time.
After waking from this paralysis physically I rolled over and tried to sleep once again. Paralysis again, I could not move my body at all. I knew it was there, and I could experience the sensation of breathing, but I was not in control of it. I could hear warnings, almost as if a pre recorded message of some sort saying thing like "you are not permitted to do this". There were several messages that I protested against in some cases violently – I remember feeling enraged yet again. I remember having the distinct feeling that I was being monitored, and there was some technology in place somewhere that was attempting to prevent me from whatever it was I was on the verge of doing. After some time in paralysis I realized that It might be possible for me to leave my body. So I attempted it.. and failed. The amount of effort required seemed tremendous. However I knew I had to keep trying, I had a feeling they were coming for me (who?) and I did not want to be held in paralysis when they arrived. I needed to shut down the technology that was making me uncomfortable. After a few more attempts and a tremendous use of energy, I managed to upright myself. Sat on the bed, I could see body lying there on the bed, paralysed and contorted. I managed to stand, although uncomfortably and remember feeling that my hands felt heavy like bowling balls, and my legs felt strange – jelly like. It look a while for me to get my bearings, then I walked straight through my bedroom floor. I recognized my surroundings, but there was something different, almost dream like about them, as If I was seeing in some other kind of light spectrum. I remember hearing a tone, the source of my discomfort and being convinced there was a piece of technology that was trying to prevent me from being this being. I floated down the stairs in search of it and straight through the front door, shifting form somewhat into what I can only explain as some kind of balrog. And charged clumsily outward into the space in front of my house – flying. Unimpressed with the speed I was achieving I shifted form once again to some sort of cat/bullet style form. Reality shifted from the physical, to some sort of digital equivalent, I was traversing some kind of matrix of electrical data. It was here I commenced my search or the preventative signals I was receiving. I remember not being 100% sure of what I was doing but I confined the signals to a specific area of this grid, then stood out to me as red flashing spots in the matrix of blue. And I erected some sort of being to contain them. One here I started systematically destroying them. Sometimes smashing them with my hands, others simply by thinking. It was during this point I received a signal from my physical body, the sensation of drowning. Water in my ears and inability to draw breath. I realised that I was still capable of receiving stimuli from the physical and returned to my paralysed body briefly to inspect my surroundings – thinking I might have subconsciously ran a bath and was drowning. Only to find my surroundings unchanged and my body in the state I had left it.
I returned to my mission and destroyed the technology that was causing the discomfort. I flew back in the fashion I had arrived to my house and level of reality. I remember feeling some agitation at what I had had to do, also a loud repeating beeping noise that I had identified as some sort of radar or tracking. I remember thinking at this point 'they are coming for me now' and thinking I should return to the physical as I would now be able to reclaim my body.
I sat in the lotus position at the top of the stairs. I remember registering the presence of two cats; the one I live with, and the one that moved out with my wife some time ago. And telling them that what I was about to do was "akin to Zeus" - I have no idea what this was about. I began attempting to levitate, but realised this was simply to appease my curiosity and began preparation for re-integration with the physical. I meditated enough to sooth myself and rose, walking back through the door into the bedroom, wherein I saw my body once again, in the same contorted position I had left it in. I laid inside it and remember feeling my limbs stretch and lock into their physical positions. Feeling returned and my paralysis alleviated.
At this point I was a little freaked out and scared. I still knew that they were coming for me, in which plane I was unsure but I decided to walk down the stairs and open the front door to investigate non the less. There was no one there I could see.
The experience left me feeling drained, tired and starving. I ate and sat at my computer, rolled a cigarette and watched some video's on YouTube before realising I should go back to sleep. I feared however that I would unwantingly return to this state. A theory that was confirmed as soon as my head hit the pillow and the sensations aforementioned returned with alarming haste. I protested, screaming to myself that I just wanted to sleep and did not wish to return now. Eventually I managed to fight the sensation and drift into sleep.
The entire memory of this experience was with me upon waking up today in total continuous recall. Whether this was a genuine out of body experience or a lucid dream is completely out of my grasp. I do recall thinking that they were one and the same. The experience has left me feeling confused and imbalanced.
---
Even reading back on this myself, I feel rather embarrassed to be publishing it. Has anyone identified with any of the things I explain here that are specific to this experience?
Thank you for having the patience to read this far.