Topics

I've been Lucid in my dream before but not like this.. This is the first one where it almost felt like I was in the matrix! Before I fell asleep I wanted to fall asleep and escape. I wanted to Lucid Dream and it worked. (Was kind of thinking depressing thoughts before going to sleep, just the usual mind playing tricks type of stuff.) Haha going to copy and past what I wrote when I woke up...:


This was my first official lucid dream.
Everything was in black and white.. When I knew i was in the dream I immediately looked at my hands and asked for clarity. When I looked up and looked to my left I seen someone walking.. Completely creeper me out because I didn't asked for anyone to be there... So whatever I just want to drive. I couldn't drive the car normally and comfortably and when I did it moved so slow.. So now I'm think wtf my first lucid dream and its black and white.. Dark as excrement.. And I can't bonking drive this thing. I looked at my hands again and asked for clarity again. There was a point too when I was in a stairwell. So after driving the car for a while I'm just like wow this sucks.. Is this the first level? A lot of things were going through my head.. I was creeped out.. It was very real but I felt like I was in a game and kept thinking one I lucid dream I never go back to regular dream.. (Read this somewhere). Here's the strange part.. I was still full conscious. But I was disappointed and I wanted to wake up.. So I close my eyes.. Then open them. Still in dream. I close my eyes again and open them but this time I can see part of my face but I am still in the dream! I thought about the things I've read about falling backwards and it turning into a astral projection but I was afraid! Haha so I closed my eyes again and realized I was at some place of false awakening. Then I really woke up. WOW!


I truly feel like though if I would have aimed with the projection it would have worked. It was just so hard for me to move in the dre it was crazy.. Could have been one idk.. Usually when I become lucid in a dream when I look at my hand they are glowing.. This time they were not but I had so much control I managed to look at them several times. Because the dream was in black and white ( my very FIRST time dreaming this way) my hands were not glowing they just looked normal. Pretty cool excrement. The great thing about it, my books on dreaming should arrive soon. I am stoked.

i remember i was somewhere with my mom, something she said was so bad that it made me think 'this is a dream' so immediately i tried to remember what to do when you need to keep that state. so i looked at my hands and rubbed them just so i could remain in the state. then i tried to spin in circles. i dont remember actually spinning but i still tried. when i was doing this i wasnt in my house but soon after that i left my house and thought 'if this is really a dream i can fly' so i left out the door and thought about lifting of and i was in the air. the flying part sucked to me though, the best part was me actually realizing i was in a dream because it was sooooo clear and i really felt like i was in another world like i just transported there. somewhere though i felt something pulling me out of the clarity i had. i was still aware it was a dream but not as much as when i first realized it so i tried to stop it but it didnt help. the rest seemed like a regular dream even though i was still somewhat in control.

I've had this for almost 2 years now due to too much marijuana. when it first started i couldn't leave my house without feeling like i was trapped inside my body. it was like my heartbeat was magnified and when i would walk down the street it would seem like i was walking in a fantasy world where cars , houses and trees were just fake. Today i can go outside but life still seems unreal to me and i don't know who i am anymore. Before this happened i was VERY in touch with my spiritual side. i used to make music solely inspired by the vibes i received from life. After 2 years the only thought that remains a fact about what troubles me the most about this is that my spiritual connection with life seems to have disconnected during this DR process. I've read that DP/DR is like a spiritual awakening but with me its seem to have done the exact opposite ; and my first  thought is because marijuana caused it. When i smoked i would have TERRIFYING panic attacks and to this day i still cant smoke because i don't get high , just a little slow motiony and panicky. i always felt when i was back to normal i would be able to smoke again and get a normal high ... the spiritual type of high but no. makes me believe i still suffer from DR/DP. this is not about drugs though , its about my lost spiritual connection with life. that's why i have been trying to rely on my dreams and attempting to learn how to AP for answers. Any thoughts? BTW im only 20 years old.