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I was shot and killed in an alley.

That was my first memory. Staring at a guy in his 20's or early 30's in an alley and hearing the sound of a gun firing. , everything became silent and I fell to my knees. 

When he shot the gun, everything became silent after he pulled the trigger. I fell to my knees and everything turned black, followed by white as I felt my body fly up and then it went hazy.

It couldn't have been more than 10 seconds, that was my first ever memory. I don't know the town, or the dude's name, or why/how I got in that situation in the first place.


After that, all my memories became a blend of random visions and dreams until about the age of ~3. I don't know if the death was a past life and I was reincarnated or could be this life? Regardless, I've had a natural tendency to experience the paranormal throughout most of my child/teenage life (to a lesser extent in my 20s).  I don't claim to be psychic, but when I was younger I seemed to have been in tune a lot more with everything around me, and not just the physical.

This thread will include experiences I've had to help create a better understanding of myself, maybe some others have had something similar experiences? I never talked about it much to others because I would be met with scoffs and laughs. I figure some people here will have more of an understanding than the average Joe.

I'll do my best to provide accurate points of reference when posting.

But going back to my first sentence. The scene is seared in my head, once everything got fuzzy a lot of the images that popped up were equally hazy memories of me sitting in a car seat or just laying down (I was probably a baby? Who remembers everything as a baby though?). It just seemed like a non-stop 24/7 barrage of randomness and terrible dreams until I was a toddler.

Sorry if everything doesn't make sense now, as I continue to write more posts over time I'll do what I can to put the pieces together in a coherent manner.

[Journal Entry Catchup]

In my heart of hearts there has always been a feeling that I've been stuck in my own head and that we are all meant for greatness. The problem is that life itself is a big distraction that prevents us from finding/discovering/understanding our individualized missions (imo). I dropped learning AP/visualization/lucid dreaming about 13 years ago to focus on my career but felt like something was missing.

It was only until recently where I rediscovered AP and it's rekindled my love for understanding the mind and oneself. I figure to create a journal my learning AP and document my attempts and progress, as well as other skills that are on my checklist to focus on.

I also will write about any AP experiences (the ones I recall). I see videos on Youtube and documentation on the site and it seems like there is so much to learn but not many people cataloging the journey. I am hard-pressed in believing that no one else is struggling to AP and would find it much easier to be patient and stick to it if they follow along with other newbies as they progress.

So to anyone in the future that reads this (currently your present), let's do it!

Journal Entry Catchup
Attempts (30-40): Below are my most notable attempts

4-15-20Shower meditation: played some Binaural music and felt more weightlessness but no AP.

4-16-20 Night-time: Woke up at 3:30 am and reread a tutorial, laid back in bed, and made a few attempts. One, in particular, was that was placing a significant focus on feeling the sheets on top of me and the bed beneath me while sleeping. My limbs felt weightless and numb at the same time. I tried to do the rolling out of bed method, but I just had trouble visualizing it or imagining it.

4-17-20 It was getting pretty late, and I found myself dozing off to sleep, but made a conscious attempt to acknowledge I was falling asleep and to slightly move my hands on the couch to feel anything. I slowly began closing my eyes, and what initially felt like a blink almost instantly turned into darkness. I tried moving my hands but could only muster up what felt like a vibration. I tried moving my body as well, but it felt like a slight nudge pulling from where my body was physically at.

At this point, I tried to wake up but I couldn't, it felt like the time I had sleep paralysis a decade ago, and anytime I tried to move I felt massive vibrations. Then I had a flash memory of the feeling I had each night for probably the first 13 years of my life when I would be asleep and would see a dark void in-between dreams. Ehhh, It's hard to explain, I guess? After a few minutes, I would try to move my body, but the numbness was still there. Instead of attempting to AP (in hindsight that probably was the best opportunity to date), I focused on waking up. So whenever I tried to move a hand or foot, I would feel the vibration out and time it to start at the exact moment, I would attempt to open my eyes. On the 3rd try, I jolted my eyes open as I began to move a hand. I did wake up.

But, everything felt different for about 30 minutes. Any movement made felt incredibly lagged despite my intent (example: moving my arm up felt like lifting a small bag in slow-mo). At the same time, my arms and body felt super energized (but I still couldn't move anything at regular speed). I managed to open up my notes on my phone and typed any thought that popped in. Any specific insight or conviction that I held was met with strong vibrations throughout my body (verbatim comparably to sleep paralysis). In the past, I'd delete and forget (never really worked out), so I kept typing.

When I finished writing my racing thoughts, I put my phone done and closed my eyes again. Back to sleep paralysis with all the extra energy built up. It didn't last long. I was able to awaken about 5 minutes later and looked at the notes at what I did to get to that state. I tried replicating the notes but no Bueno.

So was this close?


Third Eye Training
I'm sure a lot of my visions / sensory experiences are related to this. As someone with ADHD, I find that obsession is the only thing that allows for Hyperfocus without distraction. So my love for visualization and using imagination is innately there (90% of my visualization is done with my eyes open, sounds weird, but it's natural for me). Point being: For anyone looking to learn to awaken the third eye, using me as a point of reference might not be optimal since I'm pretty sure I had a natural aptitude for this growing up and it was only until 2 or so years ago it might have closed (looking at the symptoms: confusion, uncertainty, cynicism, jealousy and pessimism fit the bill of what I've been dealing with).

I'll do my best to track sessions on training, but I primarily used this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42emhw70HDE as a reference point. Unfortunately, if you are looking for a long journey, there is none. I watched listened to the video (with my eyes closed) and listened to the directions verbatim. About 5 minutes in I felt a tingling sensation between my eyebrows and kept seeing intense flashes of white. Since then I continue to feel a light throb on that spot and have been able to focus much easier on projects and listening since. (Before I would rate my focus level as a 3-4, now it's a 7-8).

If I get consumed in work/life and the throbbing stops, then I will sit on the toilet/shower/bed and practice the visualization again. I'll work on a way to refine this process.



Below are theories/notables on items I plan to learn more of in relation to AP
-Time Travel
-Awaking Third Eye
-Communication
-Sleep Balance
-Entering Dreams
-Recall
-Parallel Universe
-Clairvoyance
-Awareness & AP Quality

Sorry if this post feels rushed, I shouldn't spend too much time here. But I'd rather do this compared to browsing social media or video games. There isn't much time left for me in this realm.

Hi everyone! I go by Joey, or feel free to call me by my handle .

It's been ages since I joined a community, especially on a subject I am obsessed with.

About me; I have always had a sense of the non-physical, and I had many paranormal experiences as a child all-through until my early 20s.

Sadly, in my late teens and early 20's, I began ignoring these experiences as most other people would shun or question what I experience. It's been nearly 15 years since then. At the time I couldn't explain the phenomenons of; seeing shadow people, physical items in reflections but not elsewhere, and an acute 6th sense that randomly occurs at times (sometimes flashes of the future, but it often is a bright white right before random disruption (sound or someone surprising me) happens.

I mention this because it was only recently (2 weeks ago) that I came across a random YouTube video that explained how AP techniques (was initially looking for lucid dreaming). The methods mentioned in the videos sounded strikingly similar to how I used to sleep growing up without knowing, except back then, I had no intent except for continuing a dream from where I left off from waking up.

Circling back to now, it seems like a lost skill. Since coming across that AP video, I've been relentlessly obsessed with AP and have been trying to do it with no avail. I plan to keep a journal of my journey since it helps me recollect focus and continue to pursue.

Anyways, thanks again for accepting me. I still have a lot to learn, I still cannot AP after trying the techniques. I believe I've gotten close a couple of times but haven't been able to actually make it happen. Reading about Frank Kipple's research has helped me focus and I feel a burning desire to learn how to AP and do my own research. This has also been getting me excited to go to sleep/wake up early each morning as well, something that hasn't happened since my teen years. Day by day, I feel like I'm getting closer to doing AP, but this is way tougher than what people say.

The more I try, the more I feel like I'm closer to finding something that I've lost that was once vital for me. I think my most significant pain point is that I rarely imagine with my eyes closed (99% of my imagination is with eyes open), so imagining movement is for me. People say 'you'll know' when you AP for the first time, but I haven't had that moment yet.

It sounds crazy, but I've dozens of images/experiences that I recall before I had 'real memories' (~age 2-3) that happened at some point in my life (mainly until the teens) and I have this feeling that can only be described as an inner voice that says 'don't forget'. But I don't know what I am supposed to remember, the only thing I do know is that the feeling in the back of my head is telling me that I'm close to finding it. I probably have way more questions than anyone has time to read, but for now I'll focus on learning to AP first.