Just now, I was playing an online game with many thousands of other players. Seeing a member of the opposite team, I "waved" to let him know I was friendly. He promptly killed me.
Seconds later the chat channel was in an uproar. A character had stalked another character for the sole purpose of stealing something from him. Afterwards, in an utterly unrepentant line of dialogue, the person who had stolen from the other responded, when asked why he did it, "Because it was funny."
At that moment, I remembered many other incidents of pointless murder and grief from the game, people who made it their sole mission to cause misery to other players.
I then remembered other online incidents outside of the game, where people were made fools of and publicly ridiculed and humiliated, while the perpetrators congratulated themselves on a job well done, and basked in the glow of their burgeoning fanbase.
I remembered facets of my own family, how my father had family-hopped himself to several different women and had seen no repurcussions from his behavior other than moving to a new city after each planned divorce. The only ones to suffer from his actions have been my mother and siblings.
I remembered how my sister and I were almost attacked by a van full of screaming men as they shouted obscenities at us and we bolted for the safety of a 7-11.
I remembered the many news incidents of widespread murder in the millions of those in Africa, the hundreds of thousands under Saddam in Iraq and the whole of the middle east, case after case of killing, rape and other heinous crimes happening in our own country, and wonder at just how many stories I have never even heard of in other countries.
I had never felt as physically nauseated with humanity as I did at that moment.
I truly believe the way to change the world is to change the self. But when the whole world seems to be crumbling around you through the uncaring acts of those who manipulate, take advantage of and hurt others... I had to ask myself then, what exactly is changing myself doing for the world? If anything, I've experienced more hatred since I've tried to be good to other people.
What is going on? Can't people realize that others bleed and cry the same as they do? Can't they understand how connected we all truly are, on not just a spiritual sense but a physical one as well?
What am I supposed to do in the face of all this? Changing myself has done nothing for any of the perpetrators of this hatred, fear and selfishness... it seems to have done nothing at all.
What am I supposed to do?
Seconds later the chat channel was in an uproar. A character had stalked another character for the sole purpose of stealing something from him. Afterwards, in an utterly unrepentant line of dialogue, the person who had stolen from the other responded, when asked why he did it, "Because it was funny."
At that moment, I remembered many other incidents of pointless murder and grief from the game, people who made it their sole mission to cause misery to other players.
I then remembered other online incidents outside of the game, where people were made fools of and publicly ridiculed and humiliated, while the perpetrators congratulated themselves on a job well done, and basked in the glow of their burgeoning fanbase.
I remembered facets of my own family, how my father had family-hopped himself to several different women and had seen no repurcussions from his behavior other than moving to a new city after each planned divorce. The only ones to suffer from his actions have been my mother and siblings.
I remembered how my sister and I were almost attacked by a van full of screaming men as they shouted obscenities at us and we bolted for the safety of a 7-11.
I remembered the many news incidents of widespread murder in the millions of those in Africa, the hundreds of thousands under Saddam in Iraq and the whole of the middle east, case after case of killing, rape and other heinous crimes happening in our own country, and wonder at just how many stories I have never even heard of in other countries.
I had never felt as physically nauseated with humanity as I did at that moment.
I truly believe the way to change the world is to change the self. But when the whole world seems to be crumbling around you through the uncaring acts of those who manipulate, take advantage of and hurt others... I had to ask myself then, what exactly is changing myself doing for the world? If anything, I've experienced more hatred since I've tried to be good to other people.
What is going on? Can't people realize that others bleed and cry the same as they do? Can't they understand how connected we all truly are, on not just a spiritual sense but a physical one as well?
What am I supposed to do in the face of all this? Changing myself has done nothing for any of the perpetrators of this hatred, fear and selfishness... it seems to have done nothing at all.
What am I supposed to do?
