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Another brainwashed one.  Let me set the record straight.  The emporer Constatines wife re-wrote the bible from "everlasting re-incarnation" to "everlasting life", since what good is heaven if you keep coming back?  Purely political reasons, and example of power politics.

Do I believe in re-incarnation?  But of course.  And not the way you don't.  I'm here now for a purpose, and life is about learning the purpose and lesson.  I also believe in "higher-selves", the "me" that chose to send this part of "me" back for another round of flesh.

Life is never dull!

You have basically described the common problems in a nutshell. Unfortunately, this is what most people have to face when trying to do it. Astral projection is one of those things that sound quite simple and straightforward on paper. But when you actually try and do it, all manner of challenges rear their heads.

Somehow, you have to forge a channel that runs between wakefullness and sleep. It's a tricky mental balancing act to achieve and normally takes a lot of practice before a high degree of proficiency is attained. Unless you happen to be one of the small minority who have a knack for it that is. Unfortunately, I was not one of them and, from what you say, it looks like you are not either.

What usually happens is, just like you describe, you can't seem to get relaxed and then, just as you do, you fall asleep. It is most frustrating as I and many others know only too well. What I would suggest is, don't give up on your current attempts because you never know, one day it might all just fall into place for you as it did with me.

In the meantime, try raising your awareness in order to "come awake" within a dream. That way when you fall asleep you get another shot at it, as it were. Projecting from within a dream is a perfectly legitimate way of going about it. It's a little tricky as you are by no means certain to achieve the requisite state each night. But with a little practice there is no reason why you should not be able to project, say, once or twice a week from this technique.

HTH

Yours,
Frank