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Have you tried waking in the early morning? My experiences are pretty similar to yours, except I have projected a couple dozen times but then half the time i just can't see anything or move much. however it does seem to improve over time but sometimes it seems too damn slow!
About the middle of the night stuff-I just wake, go to the bathroom, do some energy stuff, fall asleep, the wake while projecting.I think doing this bypasses some of our fears around obe's, but maybe it accounts for lack of control since there is dream imagery going on too. I know other people have written their formulas, so if you could use the search function on this site to find them.

Everything you have experienced sounds rather typical. I may not experience all of it but I have seen such listed in places for astral projection. Breathing can sometimes be distracting for me too. This can be rather annoying. Seems when it happens it does it when things seem about right to leave the body. Then I get the strong urge to breath and this seems to stop things. Only thing I know to say about this is to try to stop thinking about breathing, though I know this is difficult. I do not always have this problem, just sometimes, so I am not sure why it happens.

It seems that projecting is very easy when you are not trying to. I have similar experiences like you said. I usually get feelings like I can easily leave my body when I am busy working or sometimes watching tv, though I do not watch much tv.

That is something I have wanted to ask for also, but did not think it was possible. After having tried since 1988, it is about time for some sort of positive results.