I am going to try to explain this but I'm not sure how. I'm quite confused and in shock and what happened isn't really anything I can truly put into words. Sorry if this post is blotchy and confusing to follow!!
Okay, so a few months ago I started getting a lot more in touch with my spirituality. Very in touch. I also stumbled upon astral travel and started to research a lot and occasionally practiced. I wasn't getting too many results (I got some, though), although I fully believed in it and knew I would someday be able to advance enough in my practice to achieve it. About two weeks ago I had a lucid dream unexpectedly, perhaps even my first lucid dream. It was very strange... I wasn't sure why it happened, but I think being completely open to these things existing and being real maybe gave me that final push? Within the past couple of weeks I've woken up every day feeling kind of raw and sensitive... that flu-like feeling where your skin is sensitive to the touch, etc. Also I had just felt kind of raw for a couple hours after waking up, even my vision seemed kind of raw. I just assumed I was sick and/or coming down with something.
What happened earlier today blew my mind, though.
This morning at around 10:30am I was feeling very tired. I got into bed and eventually drifted into sleep. I don't really remember much initially... I was just sleeping, I guess. It's a blank spot.
At one point, I feel this really intense feeling. I feel like I am imploding/exploding/choking/orgasming/vibrating, all at once. I opened my eyes while I was lying in bed- I looked up above me, and my room seemed to be filled with sunlight, and my usually white walls were a warm pink color. "Lines" that separated objects and whatnot were less solid, they were almost fluid. I blinked, and above me for a split second I saw a face, almost like Mona Lisa's? I was very confused and mystified and had no idea what was going on. I then tried to get a closer, more detailed look at the face and I was "sucked" from my bedroom somehow (keep in mind, this is my first experience successfully astral projecting... isn't it almost impossible to leave your room/home the first time?). Well, I had absolutely no control. Cannot explain the feeling though, really. The imploding/exploding/mash of feelings was still coming on strong, and although I felt like I was choking, I also somehow knew I wasn't going to die.
Okay so yes I was then in another room, in another house (and at this point I couldn't remember the being sucked feeling, it was just like... I was there. that's it. not OMG I WAS JUST TELEPORTED HERE or anything). There was a woman there, she was beautiful, she was wearing a green velvet dress. We were talking. She was rather mean and bitter, elegant, beautiful, wealthy. The house was beautiful and elegant as well. The room we were in had large windows... the room was bathed in orange sunlight, so probably around sunset-hour. The room had large windows and the view outside of the house was gorgeous. I somehow knew we were in Ireland (I just knew, didn't even think about it). I felt younger than I am now (I am 19 but I somehow "sensed" I was maybe 12 years old or so, perhaps even younger). The woman was a teacher figure (again, I don't know how I even know this, I just had a feeling. Like... I just knew, if that makes sense), my teacher... an "arts" or music teacher of some sort, but I can't remember now. She had a very rude vibe to her, and I felt pretty unimportant in comparison. She felt superior to me, and I was just a stupid kid who wasn't nearly as elegant as her, and she talked down to me, but not in an overly rude way? Like, tone of voice? I felt comfortable with her though in the sense that I was "used to" what was going on, although I'm not quite sure now what was going on.
So then it got really weird... we were talking, and then I realized, we were seriously talking. The speaking sensations were not how they are physically although they felt just as real, just different (and it was not like talking in a dream). And I had an accent, some sort of Irish accent. I was very surprised by this and I couldn't change it, I couldn't talk in my usual accent. I asked her about my voice and she said it's the same as usual, but said it in a snotty way that implied I always sound like... I can't explain it, you know when people of status rag on people of low-status? Like that, only in a "cultured" adult ragging on a younger person in a way that they're kind of disgusted but not actually mad? Kind of like "what are you talking about? yes. that is your voice. you always sound like an idiot, though."
After "noticing" my voice, I became more aware that something strange was going on. My vision started to distort way more than I thought possible (and I have experience with hallucinogens in the past, and the intense visuals with those were similar but a lot less "crazy" than these visual distortions). Everything in the room started changing sizes and whatnot. I somehow became aware of my physical body again, I think, because I started to "choke" again and the whirlpool of intense feelings began again. At this point, I was standing next to some large windows, the woman was on the other side of the room looking through cabinets for something related to our "lesson" or something... she was standing next to a black piano. I guess the "sucking"/raw/intense feelings were back full force. I remember the room in the house as I got "sucked" out of it... my exit from the room was like shrinking and flying, I was not in control at all, I was basically like a little tornado/funnel of "me" whirling through the room. I was sucked across the room, underneath the piano, and I even remember seeing the detail of the floor before being sucked right through it?!?!
I then was in my bed again. I was panicked and could not move my body, but I was still aware of my physical and astral (?) body at once. The intense feelings persisted. I felt like I was floating/sinking downwards through the mattress, freaked out, fought that feeling, floated upwards, back into my physical body. I was flailing my arms and I could see my arms limp on the bed, but ANOTHER PAIR thrashing in the air coming out of my stomach-area. And then I eventually snapped out of it. When I woke up I felt that really raw, sensitive skin flu-like feeling I mentioned earlier, "raw vision," etc... weird, right?? I woke up an hour and a half or so after going to sleep, by the way.
What to make of this? I'm so confused. I am a little scared, and totally shocked. The experience was more intense than I imagined it could/would be. And another interesting note on my "astral" arms when I saw them flailing around while I was trying to wake up: their outline was like a liquid-y, silver-y, rainbow-y color. there was just an outline visible, it was thin as yarn but very bright and noticeable. it was almost like the mercury in those thermometers... looked to be that consistency and color, only it shimmered rainbow-y specks like reflected light off glass.
And the vibrations/energy feelings were about 100x more intense than I imagined. I did not know it was possible to feel that much.
Any input on what happened? Advice? What do you guys think?? Sorry for the long post!!
Okay, so a few months ago I started getting a lot more in touch with my spirituality. Very in touch. I also stumbled upon astral travel and started to research a lot and occasionally practiced. I wasn't getting too many results (I got some, though), although I fully believed in it and knew I would someday be able to advance enough in my practice to achieve it. About two weeks ago I had a lucid dream unexpectedly, perhaps even my first lucid dream. It was very strange... I wasn't sure why it happened, but I think being completely open to these things existing and being real maybe gave me that final push? Within the past couple of weeks I've woken up every day feeling kind of raw and sensitive... that flu-like feeling where your skin is sensitive to the touch, etc. Also I had just felt kind of raw for a couple hours after waking up, even my vision seemed kind of raw. I just assumed I was sick and/or coming down with something.
What happened earlier today blew my mind, though.
This morning at around 10:30am I was feeling very tired. I got into bed and eventually drifted into sleep. I don't really remember much initially... I was just sleeping, I guess. It's a blank spot.
At one point, I feel this really intense feeling. I feel like I am imploding/exploding/choking/orgasming/vibrating, all at once. I opened my eyes while I was lying in bed- I looked up above me, and my room seemed to be filled with sunlight, and my usually white walls were a warm pink color. "Lines" that separated objects and whatnot were less solid, they were almost fluid. I blinked, and above me for a split second I saw a face, almost like Mona Lisa's? I was very confused and mystified and had no idea what was going on. I then tried to get a closer, more detailed look at the face and I was "sucked" from my bedroom somehow (keep in mind, this is my first experience successfully astral projecting... isn't it almost impossible to leave your room/home the first time?). Well, I had absolutely no control. Cannot explain the feeling though, really. The imploding/exploding/mash of feelings was still coming on strong, and although I felt like I was choking, I also somehow knew I wasn't going to die.
Okay so yes I was then in another room, in another house (and at this point I couldn't remember the being sucked feeling, it was just like... I was there. that's it. not OMG I WAS JUST TELEPORTED HERE or anything). There was a woman there, she was beautiful, she was wearing a green velvet dress. We were talking. She was rather mean and bitter, elegant, beautiful, wealthy. The house was beautiful and elegant as well. The room we were in had large windows... the room was bathed in orange sunlight, so probably around sunset-hour. The room had large windows and the view outside of the house was gorgeous. I somehow knew we were in Ireland (I just knew, didn't even think about it). I felt younger than I am now (I am 19 but I somehow "sensed" I was maybe 12 years old or so, perhaps even younger). The woman was a teacher figure (again, I don't know how I even know this, I just had a feeling. Like... I just knew, if that makes sense), my teacher... an "arts" or music teacher of some sort, but I can't remember now. She had a very rude vibe to her, and I felt pretty unimportant in comparison. She felt superior to me, and I was just a stupid kid who wasn't nearly as elegant as her, and she talked down to me, but not in an overly rude way? Like, tone of voice? I felt comfortable with her though in the sense that I was "used to" what was going on, although I'm not quite sure now what was going on.
So then it got really weird... we were talking, and then I realized, we were seriously talking. The speaking sensations were not how they are physically although they felt just as real, just different (and it was not like talking in a dream). And I had an accent, some sort of Irish accent. I was very surprised by this and I couldn't change it, I couldn't talk in my usual accent. I asked her about my voice and she said it's the same as usual, but said it in a snotty way that implied I always sound like... I can't explain it, you know when people of status rag on people of low-status? Like that, only in a "cultured" adult ragging on a younger person in a way that they're kind of disgusted but not actually mad? Kind of like "what are you talking about? yes. that is your voice. you always sound like an idiot, though."
After "noticing" my voice, I became more aware that something strange was going on. My vision started to distort way more than I thought possible (and I have experience with hallucinogens in the past, and the intense visuals with those were similar but a lot less "crazy" than these visual distortions). Everything in the room started changing sizes and whatnot. I somehow became aware of my physical body again, I think, because I started to "choke" again and the whirlpool of intense feelings began again. At this point, I was standing next to some large windows, the woman was on the other side of the room looking through cabinets for something related to our "lesson" or something... she was standing next to a black piano. I guess the "sucking"/raw/intense feelings were back full force. I remember the room in the house as I got "sucked" out of it... my exit from the room was like shrinking and flying, I was not in control at all, I was basically like a little tornado/funnel of "me" whirling through the room. I was sucked across the room, underneath the piano, and I even remember seeing the detail of the floor before being sucked right through it?!?!
I then was in my bed again. I was panicked and could not move my body, but I was still aware of my physical and astral (?) body at once. The intense feelings persisted. I felt like I was floating/sinking downwards through the mattress, freaked out, fought that feeling, floated upwards, back into my physical body. I was flailing my arms and I could see my arms limp on the bed, but ANOTHER PAIR thrashing in the air coming out of my stomach-area. And then I eventually snapped out of it. When I woke up I felt that really raw, sensitive skin flu-like feeling I mentioned earlier, "raw vision," etc... weird, right?? I woke up an hour and a half or so after going to sleep, by the way.
What to make of this? I'm so confused. I am a little scared, and totally shocked. The experience was more intense than I imagined it could/would be. And another interesting note on my "astral" arms when I saw them flailing around while I was trying to wake up: their outline was like a liquid-y, silver-y, rainbow-y color. there was just an outline visible, it was thin as yarn but very bright and noticeable. it was almost like the mercury in those thermometers... looked to be that consistency and color, only it shimmered rainbow-y specks like reflected light off glass.
And the vibrations/energy feelings were about 100x more intense than I imagined. I did not know it was possible to feel that much.
Any input on what happened? Advice? What do you guys think?? Sorry for the long post!!