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I can't explain how or why, but, the women in my family have always had these creepy dreams that always warned of something bad happening. It has come to the point where we'll actually call each other to make sure we're all okay when we see the other get hurt in a dream. It has been everything from dreaming someone got ill the day before they did, to foreshadowing a car accident, to people ending up in the hospital, etc. As for me, personally, I've stopped counting all of the spooky dreams that ended up either coming true or hinting at something terrible (or good) happening.

About five days ago, I had a dream that I was just walking around, minding my own business, and someone pulled a knife out and was stabbing me in my heart until I died in my dream (woke up  ) Note the heart symbolism.

I woke up shaken but ignored it. The next day, I had another dream. The same spirit guide that I have been seeing over and over in my dreams over the years, came to me, and told me I was in serious danger. She told me I was about to die or come close, and that I had to be ready for it, and have positive thoughts at the end. She was telling me that my time was near and that I need not be afraid but just accept it and be at peace.

I woke up thinking "Woah, maybe I'm going to die soon." but ignored it.

Then, I was just going about my daily tasks, when my grandmother called me. Why is this odd? Well, my step grandfather dislikes me and my mother and father and he is kind of controlling, crazy, and possessive. His reasons for disliking us are irrational but he does everything to keep my grandmother from talking to / seeing her family. She recently confessed that he threatens her if she talks to us. Don't even ask, it's a family soap opera we have going on. So, grandma hasn't called me or seen me in two years! I was shocked that she was calling me after so long. I asked her what she needed. Her response was...

"I had a dream that my late husband (my biological grandfather) came, calling your name, saying your time on Earth was over and that he was there to take you with him" and I mean, she was sobbing as she was recalling this tragic dream about how I was going to die.

I got off the phone, shaken, but kind of shaking it off. I mean, a dream is nothing to panic about, right? Only thing is, my mother oddly enough also gets these weird, spooky dreams, and she calls me all the time to make sure I'm alright because twice when she dreamed I got hurt and very ill, lets just say it happened very shortly after.

An hour later, my mother called. She was like "I just woke up, and I had this terrible dream that I was at your funeral, saying goodbye to you" and she told me to be safe, and be well. I actually laughed and said "Hah, maybe I'll have a near death experience today because grandma just called and said something similar."

Boy, I had no idea how close I really was.

I'm only 22 but have tachycardia so I stopped caffeine, tobacco, and even sugar is something I avoid. I stopped by my place and my room mate had a tall, tasty drink poured out, that I THOUGHT was fruit juice (I found out hours later it wasn't), but was a very concentrated energy drink with caffeine and ginseng, two stimulants I avoid. Last time I even took ginseng in a pill form, it weirded me out for six hours. You can see why I stopped drinking caffeine. Now, to make things worse, my room mate also put some cookies out in a clear plastic bag. At least I thought they were cookies. I found out later that they were energy cookies. One cookie = 1 cup of coffee, it said. I had four cookies, not knowing what they were. The packaging wasn't there, so, I thought it was just a cookie. Like I said, someone who hasn't touched caffeine in a whole year, just had a big tall glass of an energy drink, and 4 full doses of caffeine. Apparently my room mate just bought this energy supplement stuff and poured some out / put some cookies out to take to work later, to give to friends, and I got to them first.

Not knowing I had just taken a HUGE dose of uppers, I went to my fridge, thinking I just drank fruit juice and ate normal cookies, and pulled out a nice, tall beer. Yay, now I'm adding downers into this fatal combo.

20 minutes after gulping down my beer, I noticed my heart rate go up, and up, and up, and up. And my body temperature was going up. My face was burning and my whole body was on fire. I literally tore all my clothes off and sat around naked, and I still felt like someone set me on fire. I didn't understand why! I was not only having these crazy, physical side effects, and felt like I was having a heart attack, but I was also starting to feel very out of my mind, paranoid, and not sober at all. I couldn't sit still, I had to move all the time.

I started drinking all the water in my apartment. I had 5 full bottles but was so thirsty, more thirsty than I'd ever been. I tried throwing up twice but at that point, I think it was all in my blood stream. Then, I drank about 5 more bottles. Was still thirsty. My room mate came home and saw me laying in bed, out of my mind, crying that I was about to die and that I was terrified out of my mind - which I was. I told my room mate what I drank and ate and I realized, all of a sudden, that because I have a heart condition and am very caffeine sensitive, I basically just overdosed. And, that beer was a downer, and we all know that alcohol + uppers = dangerous. I was rushed to the hospital, where my pulse was at 150 and I was out of my mind for 7 hours. By the end of the day, I started getting my sanity back, but it was seven hours of tachycardia and sheer panic. Even the IV they gave me took time to work. I guess that's how much I overdosed. I'm also 5"9 and 120 pounds, so, body weight wasn't on my side, either. My cardiologist told me it's good that I got there in time because once, I had to go to the hospital with severe chest pains after 2 cups of espresso, once. With alcohol and 7x the normal caffeine dose in me? I am honestly shocked I am okay. I know that most of you probably enjoy a cup of coffee, and are flat out immune to it, but I have something called dysautonomia and need beta blockers just to lower my heart rate on a daily basis. If I'm not pushing 100 - 110 at a normal sitting state, then it's something. If I'm lucky, I get down to 90 - 95 beats when I'm super relaxed.

I remember the whole time, I was thinking that I was going to die, but I wasn't at peace with it at all. It was the scariest experience of my life and I feel very obliged now to listen to every single one of my dreams, and to listen to the women in my family when they have crazy dreams, too. This whole experience showed me that nothing is crazy at all. I mean, what are the chances that I'd talk to my grandmother for the first time in two years because she had a terrible dream about me, dying? Better yet, what are the chances of my mother calling me the same day to tell me a similar story? And what about my own dreams? Me getting stabbed in the heart, and my spirit guide warning me of my death - all happened 48 hours or less before this little incident.

I feel almost like I cheated death, at this point. All the signs were pointing to it but I'm still here and kicking! Final destination, anyone? Some would say it's a coincidence but it seems too big of a coincidence to me. Just kind of reminded me that maybe I have someone looking out for me, up there. And, I thank my spirit guide (or whatever entity she is) - she warned me once a few days before my ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me. Literally came and said "Listen, your boyfriend is about to leave you after four years."

So, she is very blunt. When she came and said "Listen, you're going to die, just accept it" I was a little freaked out, to say the least.  

It's been a few days now and I haven't had any bad dreams yet, just good ones. And, no one has called me sobbing, claiming they saw me die in their dreams, so, I'm guessing that's a good sign too.

I had a false awakening that I woke up strapped to a surgical table. The doctor (looked humanoid) came and was about to give me a shot. I fought him off, and with my hand, grabbed the needle and tried to push it away. He got me, anyways, and as he injected me, I felt the effects of it immediately.

It felt like I was being injected with a very strong muscle relaxer and something to partially paralyze you. Yes, in my actual dream, I was feeling these physical feelings, as if my actual dream body was having a reaction to whatever was in this stuff. I started feeling heavy, and like a pile of bricks. I wasn't paralyzed and I could move, but it took all my willpower to move. There was so much resistance that moving my arm felt like pulling a 200 pound weight.

I laid still as experiments were done on me, and then, naturally, I woke up safe and sound.

Now, as someone who's had SP dozens of times, I know what it's like to feel completely helpless, but I've never had this 'I feel like I weigh as much as an elephant' feeling before, until this dream, really.

Well, about two days ago, I woke up (for real ) and there it was. I could move, but I felt so heavy, and it was exactly that same feeling 100% that I felt in the dream.

The best way I can describe it is that you just feel like you're wearing a suit of iron that weighs a ton and you try to move in it, the best you can, and it takes up all of your energy to do, and it just drains you as you do it.

Umm....

So, yeah, there's my weird experience to report on. Any thoughts?

I was on Youtube, watching spiritual healing videos, and one guy was talking about the pineal gland and how heavy metals like to migrate there. He was explaining that mercury and fluoride love to pool in the brain, and other organs. Well, I've dramatically cut down on fluoride intake and I started an iodine and supplement regime to chelate some unwanted junk. Chelating should be done very moderately. The toxins in our body work in equilibrium. When you take some out, the blood stream starts getting used as a dump to filter the excess out.

So, the man who made this video said that he had his "silver fillings" removed. Silver fillings? They're more like up to 55% mercury. And, I have six of them, sitting in my mouth. I did three days worth of research on the subject and I found out several scary things. For one, mercury can cause: depression, anxiety (social and personal), and mood and personality disorders. This got me thinking about how most of America is depressed. How many people have good old traditional fillings? Well, upon hours of research, I have concluded that this should be nowhere near the body. It does seem to make people paranoid, edgy, moody, and depressed. We get a mcg dose of mercury every day if we have these silver fillings. The more you chew or grind on them, the more vapor will get released. Mercury can also cause: blurry vision, ringing in ears, fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, cancer, some neurological disorders, autonomic dysfunctions, heart problems, breathing problems, autism (can make it worse), brain fog, decreased memory, diminished mental capacity, lower IQ, asthma, allergies, etc. The list goes on and on and on. It also does something with our blood oxygen levels, which is why they say people are so tired all the time. Want to know how many of those I have? Me, personally, I have: Allergies, asthma, anxiety, depression, insomnia, ringing in the ears, chronic fatigue, and dysautonomia. Dysautonomia is an autonomic dysfunction. Heart rate, adrenaline production, breathing, etc. all affected. In other words, I am already in fight-flight mode due to my dysautonomia and from what I hear, the mercury can make it SO much worse.

So, anyways, the guy from the youtube video said he went in to have all of his removed, and after the procedure, he walked out of the office and his angelic guides came and told him that he could now expand his mind and consciousness better because the mercury in the tooth fillings was poisoning him and his pineal gland. After further research, I've found that almost everyone felt the effects a few minutes after removal. The body starts dumping excess mercury into the blood stream almost immediately. This can result in feeling really bad. Blood mercury levels will raise dramatically, and then, the mercury will take a few months or a year to settle down in certain areas, again. There's a science behind that. So, basically, one of the most toxic things man could possibly put in their bodies, we HAVE put in our bodies. But it goes beyond that. We get a dose of daily mercury so long as it's in our mouth. We get so much of it, in fact, that once you take these babies out, we basically start dumping so much mercury into the blood that we may get flu-like symptoms for a while. The body goes into haywire. Many people who have had these mercury fillings out claim they start getting what feels a lot like withdrawal symptoms. Luckily, this balances out over the months. I've read and watched many success stories and I've found out that many people had a higher clarity of consciousness once they stopped being poisoned. Many said the ringing in their head went away, and they had higher energy levels, and could concentrate more. You'll be able to visualize better, and have more clarity in your mind's eye. Once you take mercury out, the pineal gland will start dumping its own stored mercury into the blood stream.

If a dentist ever tells you "Oh no, it's fine to have mercury fillings. I doubt your mercury levels are dangerously high." don't listen to it. Why? Well, for one, it's mercury. I don't want my toxic mercury levels to be in the safe zone -- I don't want to have them AT ALL. No thank you. I want my body to stop having a direct source to it altogether. Also, if they are so harmless, and can be left where they are, then why is it that when people remove them, they get so sick for a few days/weeks/months? It's because we had so much excess mercury stored up in various body parts like the brain and the liver, and taking these out causes the body starts dumping toxic waste into the bloodstream.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VdQDj6ejNc

This is the guy that claims he connected to star and angel beings after getting his mercury fillings out. He said they told him he was being poisoned. Whether or not he did see star beings is besides the point, though. I really want these things out of me because I do feel a strong body-spirit connection. My body is my temple and I don't want my temple to be poisoned by this junk. The spirit is connected to this body and chose this to be its temporary temple. I don't think the spirit deserves to have its temple be continually poisoned by one of the most toxic things out there. It's bad enough that fluoride is lingering in the brain. Mercury is also attracted to the brain. Apparently, from what I've read, the pineal gland that produces DMT is just highly attracted to junk like fluoride, mercury, calcium, and probably other stuff. Things pool there all the time. In fact, it makes me wonder if the pineal has some magnetic force to it that attracts heavy metals. I believe the pineal gland has small crystal deposits, so I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

Anyhow, I don't expect to see star beings, or angels, when I get my procedure done (which shall be soon, hopefully), but I will do this as an experiment to see if my spirits raise any due to this poison being out of my body. Oh, I forgot to mention that a lot of people in their success stories claimed that their depression, social anxiety, and even phobias just went away after this procedure. Nearly everyone reported being happier and less depressed. One person's confidence, social anxiety, and shyness went away. One woman felt no longer controlled by fear. One mom said that her son's autism symptoms got so much better after his fillings were removed. People reported a clarity in thoughts and in wakefulness. People described it as seeing the world more vividly. So, anyhow, I'm going to try to get this procedure done. Gonna save up starting right now.  I only have six teeth to do so it won't be that bad.

If this eases any of my symptoms, I'll be a very happy camper.

Are the obsessions that we have in this life remnants of past life experiences? Why is it that certain places, or people, or even eras bring forth such a feeling of nostalgia? After all, we've never been to these places, or met these people, or lives in those eras. So, what causes the heart to desperately long to be elsewhere so much? And, why that particular place or time? Certain places, times, and people can even show up repeatedly in dreams. I've had probably 100 dreams about the same place. Don't know why I'm so drawn to it. Why are we drawn to anything so strongly and passionately? When we truly love a place, or time, or even someone (maybe a celebrity obsession), what does that say? Does it say something about where we were? Or where we're going? Will our obsessions keep playing out in our next existence, should we have one? Are they meant to foreshadow and reminisce both at the same time? I see a lot of my in real life obsessions manifest while in NPR. It's like they're trying to tell me something but they're whispering it and I'm only able to hear part of the whole story. I wish I could know what everything truly is.

I also consider phobias to be an obsession. They are a negative one. Maybe something that once scared us, that we're still trying to be brave enough to face, still haunts us. Everyone has a boogeyman at some point in their lives.

Something weird has been going on with me. Either my waking reality is becoming more dream-like or my dreams are becoming more life- like! Yes, yes, I know that 'life-like' is such an obscure term. What I mean is, my dreams have been doing a great job in mimicking the material plane, senses included, it seems...

Basically, I've been waking up with what feels like sleep paralysis except I will not be in my room, or even in this dimension sometimes (it seems), and I'll still be dreaming. Ie, I'll be in a dream scenario. Either that or I get mad wild hallucinations during SP.

The also crazy thing is: it doesn't even always have to be paralysis. Lately, I've been able to hang around the dream scene after I break my paralysis, which, makes me wonder if I'm even as awake as I think I am. Like I said, I'm not claiming this is 'real'.

I basically woke up, I tried to get up, and found myself paralyzed. My room looked a bit different than it does now but it contained a lot of my things mixed with things I didn't buy along with a different arrangement pattern of the furniture. Odd. The paralysis wore off (with much effort) and I became very weak. I got up, walked around, and realized it wasn't my room (despite the fact that it felt physical), and I found myself being whooshed back to my room, into my body.

Then, more recently, I woke up feeling very weak (not paralyzed but I felt like I was 1000 pounds and expanded) and I wasn't even in my room. I was in a dream scene, somewhere I've never been before. I kept fighting for strength and it kept draining me of energy. I realized what was happening and projected out of there and found myself back in my room and in my body.

Sometimes, I will wake up in full paralysis and will have the typical hallucinations, but I will break free of my paralysis, and will chill out (I will be mobile but very weak and heavy) with my hallucinations for a few minutes after the paralysis, until everything just goes back to normal. Sometimes, I won't even be in my room.

A few years ago, I had this one episode in particular where I woke up with a momentary sleep paralysis and I wiggled my arm, reached for the remote very weakly (it always feels like I'm really heavy), turned on the t.v., and CNN was talking about how they were about to interview Natalee Holloway who was the victim of being sold into sex slavery. The paralysis broke, and I moved around some. The news cast continued for a minute until the t.v. turned off and the program was no longer anywhere to be found.

The reason I'm not sure if this is a false awakening, astral, or SP is because my dreams are becoming more and more lucid and my energetic body has been doing a great job of tapping into my physical senses. Well, at least, it imitates them really well, leaving me unsure of my reality, at times. Just the other night, I had a dream where I was at a bar, ordering dirty martinis and getting drunk. And you know what? That martini tasted fabulous. It went down nice and cold down my throat and tasted just like a dirty martini. I also started to feel dream drunk. That's a first. Head spinning, vertigo, ordering tasty dirty martinis that I could actually taste, in my dream... it was FABULOUS. With no risk of alcohol poisoning and no hangover. 

I have a feeling I'm already projecting in SP and sometimes spontaneously project upon awakening, to an environment usually similar to that one around me, etc etc. My first reaction is always to try to get up to go about my daily business even if there's a leprechaun dancing around my room. Nothing really bothers me anymore. If it feels physical, I assume it is. Thing is, a lot of times, things will feel physical but I know they are not. This is a new thing for me and I've never had it before. I've been lucid but I've never been having what I described happen until just recently. I sense it's only good, though.

I am consciousness. I am consciousness trapped in the animated corpse known as my human body.  I feel completely dissociated with it, too. When looking in the mirror, even, I'll sit there going "Is that me?"

I always have just felt so alien to myself. The fact that I'm here, or that anything is here, really, confuses me and sometimes sets me off into paranoid oblivion. I'll start feeling like I'm in The Matrix (the movie) or Plato's Allegory of the Cave. I hate being depressed or scared of the paradox of all that is. I feel like I know so much and yet so little.

Sometimes, I'll start feeling like I'm just a simulation or will just get so confused over consciousness in itself. You'd think that my OBEs, astral projections, 20+ sleep paralysis incidents, lucid dreams, telepathic dreams, and supernatural encounters with various entities would bring me closer than ever to the source or my higher self. Yet, it seems that its at times when I'm most closest to the source, that my ego starts to fight back, hard.

For example: I spent a long time meditating, doing chakra exercises, and trying to work out my karmic issues, and I felt so happy at the end of it all! I felt like I was in complete and utter bliss. I felt closer to my true self and closer to the universe and god. Then, I got into a silly argument with someone, and the way I reacted and the rage I expressed was so shallow and the antithesis of anything good or godly, and it just made me feel completely depleted. I kept telling myself that I had been making such a conscious effort to become spiritual, and yet, I behaved in such a way that was far from it. I tend to beat myself up over accumulating more bad karma than good, and, I have a bit of an issue forgiving myself for it.

I just feel like if I could shut up my ego, I'd stop questioning things so much and would just go with what I already know. I know that I will never know what is truly out there until I die and cross over to the other side. Why I let it gnaw my brain out is beyond me. I believe in the astral, and in the supernatural, and yet instead of accepting things 100% for what they are, I will sit here, letting myself get depressed over everything in life that falls into the "I don't know" category. I literally am phobic of existence because I cannot fathom it. Does that make me sound nutty?   

For the past couple of weeks, I've been having a lot of dreams. I wake up a lot during the night but I end up having 2-3 dreams a night that I can remember bits and pieces of. Who knows how much one actually dreams. What I've been noticing lately is that I'll get amnesia for a few days, sometimes, even, and doing something or saying something will trigger a memory of a dream to flood in, much like a download. Just now, I was going about my business as usual, when I remembered that a day ago, I dreamed about seeing that cloud phenomena in the sky where the clouds look like they have UFOs behind them. You know, the clouds with the shiny rings around them, and stuff. I was outside looking at them in my dream; there were dozens of them. People were in flocks, looking up, and pointing up, going "UFOs!". It all seemed so vivid and I remember dreaming about it now, but I swear, I just couldn't remember for over 24 hours.

So, when I hit 21, I fell into some funk where I lost touch with my imagination, and with my dreams, and with my visualization skills in general. My brain was in some funk. I went from having vivid, holographic-like dreams, and having false awakenings and sleep paralysis all the time, to going into some 3D black sleep where I saw nothing but darkness.

I literally felt like I wanted to sob because my dreams and daydreams used to be so life-like that I actually enjoyed the dream world more than the living world, sometimes, and wanted to go back there! I'm telling you, my brain just went into some funk where my pineal gland went haywire. I couldn't imagine anymore or visualize or dream. Everything was bland.

I did a lot of research on how to cleanse the pineal gland, and the success I've had in the year and a half of detox, has been astounding. If not life changing.

For one, I found out from many sources, that calcium and fluoride build up in our pineal gland, and hinder its use. While calcium is important to the body, it has been shown to have same aging properties.

The more I read about fluoride, as well, actually, the more they claim it completely stunts your spiritual growth. So, here's what I did to try to stop it.

I stopped using fluoride based toothpaste. I started using a tea tree oil based one, instead. I also started taking 1 mg of Iodine every day in the form of kelp capsules. I also take 1 mg Of Boron and 5,000 mg of MSM every day (which is really good for your skin and joints, too), and I even went as far as to buy these capsules known as fermented skate liver oil. It's supposedly really high in vitamin K2 and other essential vitamins. Oh, I also chew several vitamin C tablets every day. Magnesium is good, too, so I take some of that as well. Another thing is, I've found that taking Melatonin will also put me in a much more lucid state. I don't quite know what it is about this particular complex of vitamins and minerals, but it works 100% for me. All I know is that I kept doing searches online and in books for a list of vitamins and supplements that would be beneficial to the third eye and these are the ones that people kept saying would help decalcify the pineal gland or help boost its productivity, so I decided to just try them all at once. Each one in healthy moderation, of course.

Placebo or not, I gotta say, that doing this every day has made me dream more vividly and have a much more vivid imagination than ever before! I was skeptical at first. I keep thinking of the commercial about the girl who believes everything she reads on the internet.   But I'm not just one to roll with anything. If it didn't work, I told myself I'd stop buying them, but the thing is, they all worked like a charm. I cannot explain just how well they worked. My dreams are now so lucid that I get false awakenings all the time. I had one last night and the week before. I'm also able to easily AP from my dreams, now, because the clarity that I get from this complex of vitamins does wonders for me. I have found that if I don't take them for two-three days, there is a very noticeable difference in my dream quality. It's like going from HD 3D back to 1980s tv quality.

Anyways, I'm not suggesting anyone just jump into vitamins. Might I add that since taking these, though, I have also started to look much more vibrant than before. I used to have really bad skin that was always chalky and pale and just lackluster. Since starting these, I glow like a pregnant woman, now, and don't even need makeup because I wake up already looking like I have on an airbrushed finish. Before these vitamins, I never had pretty skin. Ever. They say the pineal gland is the fountain of youth, and that the calcium and fluoride build ups in it can age you drastically. It would make sense that cleansing it could reverse the hands of time. Of course, this is all stuff that I've only read on the internet, or in people's books.   Yes, there are even books out there on how to cleanse and open up your third eye through mineral and supplementation use.

Oh, and if you don't want to take vitamins, I hear that a lot of citric acid or apple cider vinegar will do wonders for your pineal gland. My combination of vitamins + a bit of citric acid and vinegar every day may be why my results are the way they are. I have also found that my ability to concentrate and see in my mind's eye more has increased drastically.

I also keep two amethysts and two quartz crystals on my bedside tables. If I add chanting mantras and listening to binaural beats and isochronic tones into the mix of EVERYTHING I already do to try to open up my third eye, then I'll get really potent results during my dreams/day dreams/meditations.

However, one of the easiest ways to open up the third eye, for me, are through meditation. When I quiet down my mind, and completely relax and go with the flow, things will start playing on my mind's large projection screen. Once, I meditated to the point where my body was completely asleep and my mind started seeing a high school prom scene where everyone had 80s hair. I merely stepped into the image, after a while, and was there, and was lucid. It was neat. You just have to let the images come and that's how you'll know your third eye is currently very active.

Sometimes, it's also very easy and effective to just visualize a light or energy surge occurring around your third eye area.

I, for years, have been telling my family members about my own birth.

I have a memory which is not photographic per se but is photographic in the sense that my brain remembers what it wants to remember.


The thing is, I've been doing meditations lately and taking a healthy dose of vitamins which I have read to be beneficial to the pineal gland.

That being said, I would like to note that I am 22 years old and was born in 1990 in the USSR but I recall things, scenarios, and situations from the years 1990-1992 as if they happened just yesterday.

I spoke to my mother today, and I had the same conversation I always have when I delve into this topic. I perfectly described my old house in Russia (I moved to the U.S when I was two years old) and I perfectly described, well, the day I was born.

Since the age of 6 or 7 I have been describing my first few moments of consciousness. I can even describe them now. The thing is, I keep wondering if I'm alone.

I have always felt alone. I have been able to give painstaking details about the day I was born, as well as many other events from the years 1991-1992 in full detail. Certain things about my old house, and things my mother did, and the toys I played with. I even remember the day we moved here, in 1992. (I was born in 1990)

Actually, come to think of it, I remember the day I was born as if it were yesterday.

Since then, I have been able to astral project consciously, have been able to lucid dream many many times, and have had telepathic dreams (all of which I haven't talked about, but can get into in full detail)

I've also had 25+ sleep paralysis incidents where I've had many supernatural events and hallucinations happen.

All in all, I have a brilliant photographic memory and have had SP and lucid dreams and OBEs which... I can only talk about online, basically, because my family doesn't believe me 100%. Yet, these things to me are clear as day.

Can someone explain my insanely photographic memory to me before I myself start to question my insanity?

Because I truly have claimed to remember the day I was born for years now, since I was a child, and have stuck by my story since I were a toddler.

If anyone wants me to describe being born, and being 1 day old, I can do it with ease considering I've been telling this story since I were a kid, now.

Thing is, I feel completely alone and like no one believes me. I have no purpose in lying. In fact, a lot of the "insane" and "metaphysical" experiences in my life have been completely unexplained or bizarre, so really, it comes as no shock to me that out of the ordinary events happen to me.

I know this isn't about OBEs so feel free to move this topic. I have no idea where this would even go, I seriously just want someone to tell me that "Yes, in very rare and bizarre cases, people have memories like yours"

I'm not a regular on these threads. Thing is, I've avoided talking about my experiences because, the people I do tell, look at me like I'm a bit nutty in the head-- even the metaphysical buffs. So, here's the gist. I am not looking for attention, and I will tell you how things happened, as they happened. If things sound nutty, then they sound nutty, and I will declare myself a nut. Alright then.  

I'm 22 years old. When I was 16 or 17, I learned of astral projection but found it very hard to project through meditation. I, however, am a great lucid dreamer and the only ways I've ever projected have been through dreams. I often become lucid and I don't always reach the higher level consciousness of the astral plane, but, I like to think I'm in a higher plane of the... dream plane? Such a thing exist? Anywho.

I once had this dream that I was just wandering around among a bunch of very simple clay houses. I was wearing jeans, a t shirt, and clothes that I didn't even own. Clothes of my own imagination. At this point, I'd say I was 20% lucid. My dream self wandered into a clay house and saw a beautiful woman with long brown hair. But her face was fuzzy. Like I said, it's a dream, and my dreams are very hazy and not in crisp detail until I become more lucid.

So, I see this woman. There's a bed in the room, and there's this huge window in the center of the room. I walk in. The woman kindly asks me what I want. 40% lucid. I blatantly told her that I wanted to astral project out of the dream and into a higher reality. She then pointed to the bed and told me to stare out of the window until I "flew out of it"

She said this could only be done by will, and by concentration, and by the sheer desire and want of it. So, I got on the bed, and my dream self, all hazy, in an outfit I didn't even own, stared out of this window and tried to project out of it. I don't know why the guide was there, per se, since she didn't say too much. She guided me into doing what I already knew I had to do. Makes sense? She just sat there, smiling, while I concentrated every ounce of my being on flying out of this window like a birdie. 70% lucid.

Then, I take a sudden jump from 70% to 100%. Suddenly, it's no longer in what I call "dream sense". You know how I sometimes tell between a dream and reality in my lucid dreams? Dreams always have a synthetic sort of feeling to everything. Sight, touch, smell, taste. When I dream, I sometimes stop to touch things and ask myself if it feels real or not. So, I can tell when something feels "real" in the third dimension, and when something feels real in the dream plane.

So, I took a sudden jump to 100% awareness. What came was... a very physical feeling. You know that feeling you get when you're falling asleep and you jump very suddenly? Well, it's like that feeling, only it was kind of like... standing at the edge of a cliff and having someone push you off the edge, and falling, falling, falling, into abyss, while simultaneously doing cartwheels and somersaults in midair. I felt like I did three in a row. Like I just WHOOOOSHED in a spiral. I felt wind. Like I said, very physical. Beyond the senses of the third dimension, even. I whooshed out of the window and was literally floating in a blue sky. Nothing below me, nothing above, but blue. A blue that was more rich than any blue here on earth. It had a bouncing aura and was deeper than the richest blue on the color spectrum. The sky, instead of twinkling with stars, looked like it twinkled with tiny reflective crystal particles. That seemed alive. Oh, and here's why I keep mentioning clothes. I was wearing my old kitty nightshirt! It was even torn in the same place. And my skin, had this pastel yellow aura around it, followed by a top layer of pastel blue. Both colors resonating next to each other, all around me. My skin glowed. My vision, which in this life, is absolutely horrid, was beyond perfect vision in this world. I flew around for a bit but my fear of heights eventually brought me back to my body after a while.

I always wondered -- who was the woman in my dream? A thought form, a spirit guide, my higher self, an angel?

Was it even astral projection?

I was also wondering if this was astral projection.

A while ago, I woke up from a dreamless night. I sometimes don't dream at all. My clock read 11:00 a.m. exactly. I opened my eyes, and I seemed well rested. Not tired at all. A minute or two went by so it was 11:02 or 11:03 by now. I closed my eyes for a moment just to get literally 30 seconds of shut eye. My alarm was set for 11:00 and 11:05 because that's when I needed to be up. So, I'd know if I dozed off for several minutes. I only had a two to three minute interval there before my phone alarm would go off again.

So, anyways, I had just woken up, and after a minute or two, I decided to close my eyes for 30 seconds or so.

Suddenly, a few seconds went by, and I was standing in my driveway. 360 view, like a camera. Head bobbing up and down, looking up and around the street. Ooooh, very crisp and clear and life-like! And the clarity is just great. I walked around the outside of my house and then decided to walk in the house. House looked same as usual.

I decided to just wake up because I was running late for class at this point. Could this have been sleep paralysis? By the way, by the time I woke up, my timer had not even rang at 11:05 yet. So my eyes were closed momentarily, but it felt like several minutes on the astral plane. Make sense?

Anyhow. On to the next topic at hand... sleep paralysis and the astral body. Do they go hand in hand like I think? Is your astral body active when you're in sleep paralysis?

I'm 22 and I've had sleep paralysis 20-25 times. I lose count. And some were so brief, for only a few seconds, that I don't count them.

I've had the typical sleep paralysis experiences. Waking up, not being able to move, or scream, hallucinating, fear of death, going out of your mind. You name it, I've had it. I have seen everything from an animated goblin-fairy-gnome-teddy bear like creature dancing around my room to seeing shadows on the walls to simply hearing random sounds around my room. So, I wasn't a newbie to sleep paralysis. I've had experiences where I've even been able to detach one limb in sleep paralysis, and wave it around while my 3D one lay still, making me appear to have three of them. So, when I sensed something was majorly wrong, it was wrong. And boy, was it wrong.

How can I explain this without sounding absolutely insane? I don't know. I honestly don't know! For five years, I've not spoken about this much, because my family has called me a nutter every time I tell this story. And I'm tired of it. So, I'm telling people that I sense are a bit more open minded...

I'm gonna give it to you straight. Crazy nuttiness and all. I woke up with sleep paralysis one morning, I looked around, and I felt.... different. Like I've NEVER felt before, IRL, in a dream, or anywhere else. My imagination couldn't even conceive of the feelings that I was feeling.

I woke up feeling like a hollow tree. Like I had no soul. It sounds crazy, but that's what came to my mind, as I was laying there with sleep paralysis. "I feel like my soul is gone" because I truly felt hollow. It's a very strange sensation, one that is almost as difficult as describing the sense of sight to a person who has been blind their whole lives. But basically, the blood in my veins felt hollow. I felt empty, somehow. Empty in my chest, empty in my lungs, empty in my veins, empty in my bones. I felt less dense, and just, hollow inside. I felt like a pumpkin that someone just scooped the insides out of.

But now, here's the scary part. I started to feel... what I *think* was my astral body returning. I didn't see it, but, I felt it bobbing up and down over me for a second, until it started to merge with me. And by merge, it literally felt like my insides were being gutted. You know how you see those cartoons where some evil scientist creates some machine to merge two people into one? And when he zaps them, they look like they're in a torturous amount of pain? Yeah, that's how I felt. And I couldn't even scream.

Basically, at first, I started feeling this pressure all over. The hollow feeling, the emptiness, was still there, but now there was a new sensation. Burning. Pain. Lava. Fire. Fire in my veins, fire on my skin, fire in every atom. I'm on fire! It hurt so badly! But the crazy thing is, that the blood in my very veins felt like it turned into lava. I felt that lava flowing, in what felt like an ever so slow motion, through my veins. My skin felt like it was being torched. The fiery blood in my veins burned like the fires of hell. It hurt and burned like the fires of hell.

But here's the really crazy part. I am not capable of that kind of PHYSICAL pain. I would go into shock. It felt physical, the pain, but metaphysical at the same time. It felt like it was my spirit that was bearing the pain, but my body's brain was interpreting it -- so technically, I was never actually hurting. Or, I could be wrong? It felt like pure fire inside of you, on you, and engulfing you. But yet, somehow, you're also able to bare it. To tolerate it. To survive being burned alive. Being burned alive.

I woke up. The hollow feeling was gone. I'm back in my body. I got up, sat up, and sobbed for 15 minutes.

And to this day, I am haunted by that day, and I just need answers. Someone told me I've had black magic cast upon me or experienced a demonic assault. To me, it simply felt like my soul was gone and I was physically empty and gutted, and then it followed by the fires of hell raging within my body and on my skin. If you tell me I merely hallucinated it, the pain, then I will be okay with that answer.

I'm new here and I honestly joined to get answers. Whether you people believe me or not is up to you. I've been feeling this way, for, gosh... years. For no reason whatsoever. This 'obsession' that I have has lived with me for several years, now. And the 'obsession' came out of nowhere, has lingered, driven me mad, and I'm honestly starting to sense some divine intervention in the works.

Let me start from the top. Now, keep in mind, that this all may sound completely ridiculous...

I was 17 or 18 years old or so. I'm now 21. Almost 22, actually. I was browsing IMDB.com and clicking on random celebrities. I don't have obsessions with celebrities, but I was just curious, and just flipping through. I browse that site so much. I read bios, look at pictures, etc. all for the sake of passing time, not oogling celebrities. Thus, I had seen many pages, and many famous people. Some beautiful, some ugly, alive, dead, tragic -- you name it.

Someone mentioned one particular celebrity that was famous for a very tragic reason, but her name didn't ring a bell to me at all. As in, I had heard nothing about her, or of her circumstances, or knew what she looked like. Nor did I know of her tragic past. Someone just mentioned her name in a conversation and I stared at the name and nonchalantly searched her.

I had never seen her before in my life, despite the fact that she was really famous. I have a very photographic memory and I knew that I had never seen her, heard of her, or even possibly heard of her.... yeah, go figure, you'd think I'd have been more insightful into the world of celebrities after lurking IMDB so much. But I was 100% sure that I hadn't even heard of her so there was no way I was just digging up an old obsession and whatnot. Like I said, I'm pretty photographic.

I stared at her photo. I knew nothing of her life, death, or anything. But I just stared. I saw something in her eyes. I see the same sullen, blank, tragic look in my own eyes. But I saw... something ... in her eyes, that I had never seen in anyone else's. I felt something that I felt, while looking at her, that I've never felt before while looking at anyone else. It was like falling in love minus the attraction. I'm female and women aren't my cup of tea, nor is my obsession sexual AT ALL, just... I'm trying to explain this as best I can, here. I felt like everything in the universe shifted. For me, anyways. As in, I would never be the same again. And I haven't been.

It wasn't until after I read her bio that I found out some horrid stuff happened to her. But note that my attachment or whatever you want to call it happened before this new gained info.

I remember that since then, I couldn't get her out of my head.

A few nights later, I had a very lucid dream involving a time-machine telephone-type thingy. I was in a room and I went up to the time machine (telephone!) and called this said celebrity up (I'm not mentioning the name on purpose. I already think I sound nuts). It was lucid and I was convinced that I should ring her up, see if she answers, and try to save her from her own death. Okay, I know it wouldn't change anything in real time, but if you've seen the movie Source Code, you'd understand.

Luckily, she picked up, and I had literally 'called' minutes before her death. I was walking her through it, telling her how to respond, what to do, how to get out, etc. It was all in vain, and I was becoming very lucid at this point, and completely self-aware, and I just stayed on the phone and listened to the events play out in the background. It was horrifying.

Even weirder is the fact that I heard her say something, or a certain phrase, that, after later research, sources say she did say before the time of her death. At this point, I was just feeling weird and creeped out and very shaken.

Then... I tried to go on with my life but there were songs that I'd listen to, or movies that I'd see, or things that I'd see, that had absolutely no relation to her, or any of this, and I mean, NO RELATION, as in, they wouldn't even hint at her or her life/death, but... a song would come on the radio and bam, she would pop into my head.

More recently, I was in a very lucid dream, again, and I wasn't even thinking of her or anything. I was actually at the point in my dream where I was becoming self aware, and then lucid, and I was eventually planning on projecting out of there. But then... I was in a dark room, out of nowhere, and there she was, standing there, looking like a ghost. She said nothing. She didn't object to anything. I went up to her and I saw her in her full, tragic beauty, and she let me touch her. All I did was touch her face. I ran my hands over her eyes, her face, her lips. She felt.... real. Very real. I remember her lips feeling and looking how I always thought they would. It was also very creepy because I've now encountered her at least 20 times over the years in dreams, on the astral, etc. And each time, I could sense that she was a burdened soul. This past time when she let me go up to her and touch her face, I felt that she gained comfort from it, too. When I went to touch her, she sighed, in a way that someone sighs when they really, really, really, REALLY need a hug.

In mere dreams, no one ever really responds to me that emotionally... I dream about my current boyfriend very much and he dreams of me, and it's funny because I'm the lucid dreamer, he's not. And I always go lucid on him and try to see if he dreams about me that night. But he's never just sighing with relief to hug me and stuff.

Another time, I'll note, was back when I had sleep paralysis 2x/week, every other week or so, for about a year. I woke up in a state of paralysis and heard her voice (I know her voice now, inside out) speaking to me in a casual conversation about how flattered all of the attention I was giving her makes her.

And this stuff, there's been more that I don't want to list or don't want to go on about, but like I said... obsessed since I was 17 or so. Am now 22. Have better things to do with my life than feel like I'm giving my thoughts, my energy, and my... affections? to someone I've never met, have never known, and all that jazz. I could list more experiences but they just add up and start to sound funny. Even to me.

In case anyone thinks this is made up, or lame, or funny, or stupid, please...

I am being completely real here and I honestly want it to stop. I want her to stop invading my dreams, my mind, my astral travels, and whatever else is happening here.

Can anyone just help? PM me or post but don't laugh, don't brush it off, don't call me crazy, don't call me a liar, because...

I actually do feel like I am being haunted, in a sense of the word, against my will. And I felt like I have been from the start. And this does affect my life in a way I can't even explain because... I almost feel like there's no physical description for this madness...

It's almost like the universe, or some power, or some 'thing' just impregnated my mind with this irrational form of love and attachment to something, and someone, that I just don't want to have haunting my thoughts.