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Hi everyone!  

I feel hesitant about posting this request because I don't like many people knowing about my health issues, except those I feel need to know for some reason.  However, I have become concerned about the way things are going.  Instead of improving, it seems I am getting complications.  Let me explain what I've been diagnosed with.

About two weeks ago, I found a medication I was taking became toxic, affecting my liver.  A few day later I discovered I have drug induced hepatitis, also called toxic hepatitis, caused by an overdose or toxicity of a drug.  The medication is toxic.  At that time, it was assumed I just had liver inflammation which was causing all the symptoms I had been experiencing.  Now it seems instead of the acute phase of hepatitis it was assumed I had, it has apparently developed into a worse case.  My feeling is it will be chronic hepatitis when all the tests and exams are completed because I have realized that the symptoms did not start in the last month like I thought (when they got worse) but began months ago, which I also have realized involve my kidneys.

I had been improving two days after the drastic decrease in the medication which brought on this [bleep] condition.  But I soon started getting a fever, chills, eye pain, migraines and the other signs indicative of kidney involvement as well as all the other draining symptoms of hepatitis.  I am concerned about the involvement of my kidneys, which can take a LONG time to recover in addition to the healing of the liver.  So I've got a long road ahead of me.  

Of course, I am apprehensive about my condition.  OK, I'll say it . . .  I hate to but I will . . . I am scared.  I am scared of all the months that passed as I took the medication as prescribed, noticed certain things, told my mom or my sister and they brushed it off because I felt they were right.  I didn't trust myself and I should have.  Over the last 4 months, I learned that lesson but in a different way and realized it applies to this situation too.  Now I might have damage that cannot be reversed.  

(The medication that caused this condition has brought on drug induced hepatitis in other patients taking the drug.  I found a website with actual referrals WHERE I LIVE to get an attorney and sue the doctor and the pharmaceutical company.     If I had only known about it before I started taking that damn pill!!! )

Please pray for me or send white light or positive energy or thoughts my way both for the illness and the area I live in.  

I live in an area with a great amount of negative energy--more than just ghosts/spirits.  Since our neighbors moved into their homes they have had bad luck (more than is normal), strange occurrences in their homes and yards, like my property, and one neighbor has lupus and has gotten worse.  My sister told me she thinks the energies in the area are complicating and exacerbating my illness--and other people's lives too.  

Concerning all the things that have happened to me, my sister, and mother; our neighbors; and the warring neighbors using witchcraft and Santeria against the other; well, it's obvious this area is not going to improve anytime soon so we are seeking another place to live.  Actually, we've found a better area with land that is 'receiving', calming, and generally the total opposite of where we live now.  I'm calling about two homes in that area tomorrow despite how [bleep] I feel.  I remembered a premonition I had over a year ago and I was in the state of health I am in now and getting worse, I was doing things to pack because we were moving.  I sense it falling into place--finding the home and unfortunately my health.  

I know a drug reached dangerously high toxic levels and I'm paying for it with my health right now but drug induced hepatitis eventually clears up.  It just depends on how long the drug had been at toxic levels in the body, what damage is done if in the chronic stage, and how long to recovery or how to live with the liver damage.  I just know the environment I live around now is not conducive to healing and progress, some neighbors never get better or not much, or they get worse.  

Send any positive energy or thoughts my way to have a complete recovery.  I am comforted in a way.  I have seen my guide and felt my guardian angels near.  I feel a positive presence around me all the time--I don't know if it's the same 'presence' or if different ones come, but I sense the latter.  I know other things are around too but I pay them no mind.  I do my thing; let them do whatever they do.    

I will continue to visit AP forums and post.  I can't resist coming and seeing how people are and what's on their mind in case I can answer something or offer something that might lead them in the right direction.    

Take care everybody!  

Love and Light,
Juliet

Hello everyone!

I am new to most of these topics.  In the past I have been able to meditate but not become so relaxed that I enter a trance or a state of "being."  

Today, as I was shielding (this is my 2nd day of shielding), I could not really shield.  (When I shield, I sit in a chair with the tips of my middle fingers and thumbs touching lightly.)  When I started shielding I seemed to be doing fine with the construction and such.  But, for some reason, this morning when I began to shield I became extremely relaxed, not what's happened the other times. (I became so relaxed during this "session" that when I decided to open my eyes I couldn't keep them open.  It took 8 to 10 minutes to shake the effects.)  Back to the attempt at shielding ...  As I let my thoughts cease I reached a little black cocoon inside of me where I was just "being."  

At this time, I became aware of my third eye which did not tingle like it usually does.  This time it was more like an increase in pressure in the third eye area--kind of like instead of the tingles and pressure I've experienced for almost 3 months, I had more pressure there, as if replacing the tingly sensations.  Maybe, to compensate??  I don't know.  I also noticed the back parts of my hands did tingle--from the thumb and underside of the palm back to my wrist.

Shortly, I became aware of images in my mind's eye.  Some looked like creatures from a computer game but--I recalled later this evening--I also saw countryside, a busy place with cars and people in a flurry of activity; I think people shopping.  Then, I'd see the real fast movements of what I think looked like the computer characters again.  It went back and forth frequently for a few minutes. (I wish I had had my tape recorder on so I could have taped it but I was so relaxed I doubt I could have spoken anyway.)

Then, I stopped the images and tried to focus on my shield again.  I still remained in that calm, relaxed state of "being" and was unable to shield--at least I don't think I was doing anything relating to shielding.  The feeling was peaceful.  I felt my third eye become more and more "aware."  Then, behind my shoulder to my right, I heard a humming, like a meditative hum coming from a person.  Nobody was in the room with me.  I made sure it could not have been anything around the house after the "session" like the TV or radio.  Everything was fine in the house.  A few minutes later I opened my eyes.  I had trouble keeping them open because I felt so sleepy and relaxed.  I've never experienced this before.

Can anyone help me with this??  Did I do something wrong?  What is it I did?  Can anybody explain this to me?  I have been doing things in the past 2 months that I don't know I do at times and don't have any conscious knowledge of how to do them.  I am trying to understand what is going on with me.  I've been able to manipulate energy to connect telepathically but I didn't realize what I was doing, how, or why.  Please, help me understand this somebody.  I'm not scared.  I'm confused and feel I need to know what I am doing, why if possible, and learn how to control it.  Any ideas, suggestions, advice, or comments--even referrals to websites or a book would help me.

Thanks!

Love and Light,

Juliet

Hi everyone!

Two nights ago, I dreamed of someone that is a talented magician, APer, and many other things as well.  (We used to be involved and share a special bond.)  In the dream, I had woken up in a bedroom, sensing this man's presence.  I felt intense feelings of tenderness, desire, love, and wanting.  I responded with the same intense emotions.  I could sense his energy; I tried to send my energy to him also so he could "sense" what I felt as well but don't know if succeeded.  (On another board, it was pointed out I have started energy manipulation.)  As I got out of the bed, I felt a strong pull to look around the house.  It was supposed to be my house but it was a different house in the dream.  

Anyway,  I walked into the next room and discovered a small circle made with white powder.  This puzzled me.  I wondered if something magical had happened while I had been asleep.  I decided to continue my investigation of the house, still feeling his presence. (It was never threatening.  More like a protective presence trying to communicate with me.)  As I walked into what I surmised was the living room, I saw a much bigger circle made with the same white powder.  It was about 12-13 feet in diameter.  For some reason, I knew I was to step inside.  As I stepped inside the circle, I felt all the emotions coming from this person (I know who it is).  My heart fills with jubilation/joy.  (It's like my soul wants to expand outward to join with this person for some reason.)  I sense he wants to be with me, cares for me still, and is helping me.  

I begin spinning inside the middle of the circle, clockwise, repeating, "He wants to be with me and still cares."  I express my desires for him as well both in words and in a different way--the latter way was not really a telepathic message, more like a soul message to his.  After I completed spinning, I stepped out of the circle.

I heard a car coming down the road outside.  I looked out the window and saw a black Trans Am (the kind Burt Reynolds used in Smokey and the Bandit) with the man I sensed in the beginning of the dream driving the car.  I was overjoyed.  He drove in a circle around the house I was in.  I also noticed the car changed from black to a red color, maybe a light red, can't recall.  Then, he drove off after letting his presence known to me.  

Then my sister appeared in the dream.  I didn't mention it to her because she wouldn't understand.  I began wondering what it meant and started doubting if it meant what I thought it did.  At that moment I heard the same Trans Am coming down the road again.  He came by the house again.  I was about to go outside to go with him when he disappeared.  It still satisfied me to know what the dream revealed to me.  In my mind, I had the thought/impression, "It's not time yet."  I took that for what it was and what it simply meant.  And I felt simply satisfied with what he had provided in the dream and allowed to reveal.  

Can someone tell me what the circles were there for?  I don't understand why I went inside the larger one and spun around.  Was it a spell of some sort?  It did not scare me and does not worry me.  I am just curious to know what the circles mean and the spinning and everything else.  If anyone can help me find out the meaning of this dream, I would appreciate it.  And I am POSITIVE magic was done.  I'm not sure if it was done in the astral or the dream state--I still have difficulty telling the difference between the two.

Any help figuring this out is welcome.

~ Juliet

Hi!  I am learning remote viewing; it was happening naturally so I decided to develop it.  Can anyone explain what frontloading is?  And outbounding?  Also skelpting?  Also, can someone tell me how to tell when I'm sending the information and how to tell when I'm receiving the information?  The connection is tight and it's hard for me to tell who is doing what.  Any help is appreciated.

~ Juliet

Maybe someone can help elaborate on this.

I have been told by a respected person with certain abilities that a talented magician is doing bad things to me.  Obviously this person is far more advanced than I am and I do not know how to handle the situation.  Any ideas?  Also, this person helping me said I had a dark spirit near me that was overshadowing me.  Can someone explain to me what this is and what its purpose is?  This person helping me said that it was a man and woman, parents in their 40's or 50's, that blame me for something that happened to them.  I don't know what it is I could have done or even who these people are.  I'm not sure how to go about dealing with this situation.   Anything that might help or inform me is appreciated.  The person helping me is not revealing much although I ask a lot of questions.  I wonder if there is something more than she can say right now.  I trust her.  I don't know what's up though.  Anyway ... any ideas, thoughts, suggestions, or advice is welcome.  Just trying to see all the angles.

~ Juliet
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I am not a regular practitioner of magic although I have done several spells through the years.  Nothing this strong has ever happened before.

Well, I did a spell yesterday, the first one I've done in years.  A friendly and nice person is helping me due to several factors--serious ones.  Before I did the spell, I relaxed and calmed my mind.  I felt very relaxed, like in a meditative state.  As I did the spell, each time I did each segment I felt intense vibrations increase and warmth spread throughout my body.  After I completed the spell, I felt the need to close my eyes.  I felt myself entering a trance-like state, similar to the alpha state used in meditation.  I felt drawn into myself.  I allowed it to lead me for a few minutes.  Then I pulled myself out of it because nothing like this has ever happened before when doing magic.  Can someone explain what this means and why it occurred?  It didn't scare me but it made me notice that something was different this time.  Any ideas??

Thanks!

~ Juliet

I wrote a reply to someone to the message "AN ATTACK OR A MESSAGE??" in the Psychic Self-Defense forum.  It was written in February 17, 2002 at around 1:40 + or - under my old username LadyLea.  I had forgotten I was a member when I rejoined  a week or so ago.  I was sending a reply to one of the posters.  I did a spell check and submitted it.  Then it got squirrelly.  It took three-four minutes to get it on and when it was on, it was a double post.  I didn't want to have two posts on there so I pressed the "x" to the right and tried to delete one of them.  Somehow I managed to delete my entire post from 2002?  I was finally receiving some helpful information when that happened.  Is there anyway it can be retrieved or is it completely gone?

Sorry for the inconvenience.  This has never happened to me before on this sight or any other.  I thought in order for the post to be deleted I'd have to be signed in as LadyLea and that account is inactive I believe because I checked after I found the post several days ago.

Thanks!

~Juliet

How can a person tell when they are receiving an image or message from someone else as compared to the person using their ability to link to someone else?  I am having trouble discerning between the two.

Thanks,
Juliet

Hi!  Call me Juliet.  I am not new to the subject matter on the boards here but I am trying to learn how to do certain things myself.  For instance, I used to have other Dreamers create the settings and such but I am now reaching the point to where I want to take control over these things.  Not that I am ungrateful to those helping me (I do not know all of them) but I feel it's time I took an active part and began learning how to do certain things on my own.

My interests include AP, LD, RV, mutual dreaming, and other subjects.  I am making sense out of some things that have come to fruition.  

I have always had strange things occur around me.  In fact, my whole family.  Last week, it had snowed 3-4 inches and it was 15 degrees F.  I couldn't sleep.  I had been trying to sleep for three or four hours.  At 1:40 a.m. I heard a horn or alarm outside.  At the time we'd been having trouble with our well and thought something had happened and it needed to be shut off.  I went to kitchen door and listened and it didn't sound like it was from the well.  I thought it was the water heater but, then I thought water heaters don't have alarms.  So I woke up my sister and she got dressed and went outside to see what it was.  She went out and it was my mom's Pontiac.  Apparently the horn was depressed, like someone had pressed it down but no one was around.  I told my sister to get a flashlight to look for footprints, in case someone was trying to get into our car for some reason.  Which was not really feasible since our entire yard is fenced and gated.  She looked all around and found NO FOOTPRINTS.  So I told mom to be careful driving the car to work.  Well, later that morning, mom left for work but returned a short time later because the tire blew and went completely flat.  To me, I think someone was looking out for her safety.  A lot of things happen but this one stands out.  

I don't know why I just wrote all that.  Maybe I should go back and delete it but I think I'll leave it for now.  Who knows?  Someone may get a kick out of reading it.

I find it hard to AP on my own, consciously, so I am going to try it through lucid dreaming.  Lucid dreaming comes naturally to me.  About two months ago, I learned to walk through walls and even a bobbed-wire fence.  Anyway, I look forward to hearing from any of you who share the same interests or who just want to chat about the unusual.

Until Then,
Juliet

I have LD'ed and AP'ed with intent for 15 years but not always by myself.  I met J who became my boyfriend, but we broke up due to our families and other circumstances.  We really cared for each other.  When I met him, I was introduced into a group of Dreamers.  That was when I was fifteen.  We have not seen each other physically in 15 years but we continue to dream with each other.  Anyway ... the dream.

Lately, I've been developing my own abilities, becoming lucid while dreaming, etc.  In this dream, I was on a ferris wheel.  It was going too slow so I sped it up.  I was having a ball. (BTW, this is not my first LD.  I've had lots).  I knew I was being watched but couldn't be sure who it was.  I got off the ferris wheel and walked into a building with art, paintings and such.  I created a laser gun and started shooting but I did not destroy anything.  Then, for some reason the gun turned into a long pen.  I was determined to keep shooting so I turned it into a shooting laser pen. (Silly, I know. LOL)

Then, I feel a familiar presence around me.  I float with this presence and it guides me to a place away from everything.  The person is invisible.  I cannot see who it is but I know where their body is because I can sense it.  Then, I feel a hand lean me back and hold me upright.  I trust this presence, i know this presence.  I begin to feel fingers touching me intimately.  It is very pleasurable and I don't want it to stop so i go along with it.  but then I want to see who it is touching me.  I sense I know ( the boy in my past) but I want to see him.  So I gaze into where I sense his body and wait a minute.  Instead of seeing a normal human body, i see a deep, rich purple light, an essence.  I recall saying, "You're purple."  He stops touching me.  I want it to continue but I am stunned to see a purple essence instead of a human figure because I've never encountered this before.  When I wake up, I stay relaxed and calm.  I begin to RV and I see a man lying in a bed with a sheet draped across him.  The body is very familiar.  It looks like J's but I want to see the man's face.  I can't.  I try to feel his face and I think I see J's face but I don't know if it's just wishful thinking or what.  

Can someone share some insight into this?  Before this dream occurred, I was dreaming and was asked if I was ready.  I said yes.  A night or so later.  I went through a ceremony where a dark skinned man wearing a necklace of bones took a knife and cut my hand.  He said something and then told me I was one of them.  I was very happy.  Fifteen years ago J told me I would know when I was ready.  Has anyone else experienced this?  If it was J touching me, can anyone shed any light as to why he would appear as a purple essence rather than appear in human form?  I think seeing the man in the bed was J and he was revealing himself.  If someone could help me understand this, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this far! :)

~ Juliet