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[I can easily make my body feel numb to some extent.]

Hello guys, how are you?

I mentioned in my first post that I had set only one goal for myself and I've been focusing on it ever since, the goal is: reach the void state (or the 3D blackness, however you'd like to call it) and I think I'm having some great progress. I've been keeping a diary and I'll list all the things I think that were important so far

• I can easily make my body feel numb to some extent.
Previously I would take very very long to ignore any physical sensation (itches, discomfort etc), but now I can do that pretty easily and relatively quickly, I'd say that around 7 to 10 minutes I'm able to not feel most of my body. Firstly I'd put some Yoga Nidra to help me with that,  but now I don't need it anymore 

• I'm able to focus more on the blackness behind my eyes
Before I couldn't focus too much and would easily fall asleep, right now I still struggle with sleeping accidentally, but it takes way more time than before so I keep my focus for longer

• I had some significant symptoms
Sometimes I'd feel my heartbeat increase and that would snap me from the relaxed state and yesterday I had the same feeling of falling from somewhere and my body shuddered and I opened my eyes, just like it happens when you dream you're falling, you know? But I was 100% awake, just a bit distracted of course, but definitely awake. I read somewhere that those can be symptoms of being close to the void state so I think that was some great progress.

• I started to see some "plasmas"
while staring at the blackness
When I focus on one point of the blackness, that's great to keep me distracted for longer.

Those were the things I think that were more important to me in my opinion, I can easily achieve all of these things now in practically every attempt. I've been doing the phasing method that Xanth posted a long time ago and it was, so far, the only method that helped me to achieve such progress. I have a "routine" now where I keep persisting on those methods that granted me those great results, but my only problem now is: I can't seem to detach from the physical world at all.
Even when I'm distracted and focused on my meditation I still have those thoughts on the back of my mind like "I have a body, I have a name, I'm in my room, I'm laying on my bed" and I think that this is the only thing that is holding me to reach the void state so far. Like I just feel very relaxed and numb, but I don't feel detached AT ALL, so after awhile I just become bored or too tired to keep going.
Any tips on how I can detach from the physical world and become just pure consciousness?

Thank you 🙏🏻🖤

[entirely]

Hello everyone. I'm very very new to AP and I'd like to start experiencing it, but firstly I need to some guidance and advice about my current problems. (Also I'm very now to this site and I never used forums before so if I did something wrong let me know, please 🙏🏻)

My story about how I ended up where I am now is long so I won't specify what happened, but I'm currently having a major faith crisis (not exactly about AP, but just "non logical" things in general)

I dealt with many disappointments that now it's very hard to keep an open mind to things that aren't 100% proven scientifically. I'm not here to ask for proofs or anything, but more like... how can I keep an open mind to test for myself? I just feel like I have this enormous fear of the "unknown" and things regarded to spirituality or as I said that aren't 100% scientifically proven. It's making me feel very bad because I want to believe we are more than the "logics" says, but I can't seem to have the mental and emotional strength to test it for myself. I believe that starting something fearing/expecting the worse and only failures can contribute to failure and I can never know if it's actually not real or I just stood in my own way of finding out because of my negative mindset.

I'm currently extremely dissatisfied with myself, with who I am and my life in general, and my present and this crisis of faith keeps me from believing we are more than just our physical realities and therefore I'm afraid I have absolutely zero control of my life and future. Like I'll always have to just live by the circumstances and some things I can never have if it's not "meant" for me.

I think I'm constantly looking for a confirmation to feel more secure about what decisions I should make or not, what decisions are worth or not. I can't seem to have a mindset of just enjoying the experiences and the lessons learned, instead I'm always thinking about the possible failures and how extremely frustrated with myself and life I'd be.

As I said, I'm not looking for proofs here because even relates of experienced aren't enough for me, I always think "what if they're just confused? What if that's biased view? What if they're lying?" And so on. I used to be someone more spiritual, but now I feeling so numb and pessimistic about everything like existence is actually a prison and that my hopes, dreams, desires are just a shout into the void. I feel like I'm (we're) all alone and that's it. I don't feel like I have free will, I don't feel like there's something more than just what we see, I feel so lost and in agony.

Why I'm posting this here? Well, because this community seem to be focused in inner clarity and positive about those less "logical" things and more open minded about things we don't fully know and open about exploring the "occult" by taking a leap of faith without pre judgments and limitations imposed. Also, AP is something I'm not entirely skeptical about it cause one of my cousins, who is very smart, balanced and just not generally mystical believes it and claims he APs practically every night, he also told some experiences with his wife that eve her got shocked when it happened. I don't remember what he did exactly or how it happened, but he said he managed to discover she was ticked about something and wasn't telling him. She's also very balanced and wasn't acting in a passive aggressive way or giving any signs at all that something was bothering her, but he said he managed to discover that when he was in the astral realm. He gave time for her to maybe speak about it and when she didn't he came to her and said "so what you gonna do? You gonna tell me what's bothering you so we can sort things out?" and she was shocked how he managed to discover that. Anyways, he told much more experiences and explained how things worked (in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he's in this forum hehe)

I'm trying to restart everything and only focus in one thing at time, cause also one of my flaws is jumping from thing to thing looking for confirmations instead of putting actual time in practice. Currently my focus is the void state (yes I read the whole research made by Volgerle/Arenis and it was awesome. Very informative and objetive, I love it so much  ) but as I said, I think this fear of everything being fake and I'm just losing my time it's getting the best of me and much likely stopping me from making any progress at all. I can't even relax while meditating for the void cause constant thoughts of doubt and anxiety take over me (and when it's not this is a euphoric hope and expectation of reaching it which by theory is also a obstacle).

I'm just very stressed and overwhelmed with informations I'm reading and my thoughts about life/reality. I even thought about TW offing myself not because I'm sad, but because I'm tired of not having answers and I just wanted to see if there's anything more or not (even if I technically wouldn't remember anything regardless of the outcome lmao, but at least this agony of wanting an answer would end)

I hope my post is not off topic or "forbidden". I'll be extremely thankful to hear anyone's opinions and advice. Even if I'm not gonna get the answers I want I hope I at least can have a different outlook about this and get some peace of mind. Thank you 💙