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Here I lay still,
a child under the dinning room table
breathing in the blended scent
of gardenias and clean laundry,
expensive perfume and bacon grease,
of lemon cake, coffee, and candles.

Everything is sunlight, blue carpet,
modern with retro interior design
scattered in the carefree, crank up the radio
and sing-about-a-Raggmopp style
we love like multicolored polka dots
meat loaf sandwiches and Shirley Temple.

She sits with me on the floor
playing Husker-Du and Bingo late into the morning
while there are still breakfast dishes in the sink,
surrendering Dum-Dum lollipops
when I win, the light jingle
of the charm bracelet she promises will be mine.

One is wholly refined filling
the bathtub with scalding water,
commanding it engulf the room
in temperate clouds to wade through.

Enchanting mist penetrates the
soul of she within whispering
incantations in the false fog,
heedless of the outside world.

Immersion claims the worn relic--
anointed victim of ages--
the remnant of fire and ash,
decay and neglect thereafter.

Expelling impurity, the
solemn rite sloughs away calloused
flesh--a snake shedding skin on rock--
thus reborn through its burden freed.

The ritual act now effected
an awakened self arises,
emerges draped in solitude--
naked--dripping in candle light.

I am just wondering if anyone else out there who has regular lucid dreams has a sleep disorder or thinks they might have one?  I have insomnia.

How do you overcome the fear of leaving your body?  For me it is like an instinct to fear this state.  What do you think?  Is it just me?

OK, I don't have much time to review the other posts here right now.  I hope to this weekend perhaps.  Anyway, here is my story.

I've been having lucid dreams for years now, since I was in high school around 8-10 years ago.  They usually come in waves, many around the same time and then nothing for months.  I have probably averaged around 15-30 a year I guess.

Well, recently I think I've been having OOBE.  I have read there is a relation between them but I don't quite understand.  The reason I think I've been having OOBE is because they just feel different than a dream.  Here was the first one:

I am laying in bed after "waking" from a dream and sit up.  I feel strange and think, "Hmmm....I think I just left my body!"  I could see the room and it looked just like it would if my eyes were open and I was sitting in bed.  No cord, no glow, just the room.  Suddenly I'm fully concious and awake laying in bed.

The others I have been in the middle of sleeping, but they are not part of a dream (I always remember my dreams).  These are freaking me out because I have "met people" in the dreams/OOBE or whatever they are.  

The first was a baby sitting in my hall way crying.  The baby was about my daughter's age, I'd guess about 8-9 months old.  I was afraid because he looked like a ghost but I couldn't stand to see him (I say he but I don't know if it was a boy or not) so sad and felt compelled to pick him up.  When I did he stopped crying and I felt so much love and pity for this baby.  Then he disappeared.  Shortly after I woke up feeling very numb in my bed.  I also had the sensation of someone touching me but I was not afraid.

The second was last night.  I was at my mom's house, though I don't know how I got there.  There was a man on the couch and we were talking about a ghost he had been haunted by.  We were having a nice conversation and all of a sudden this angry "presence" came.  It hurled me up in the air and I "fell" back to the ground.  I was not hurt and I could not see my "attacker" but I felt it was male and he was trying to intimidate me.  I was afraid he'd do something else but he didn't and might have left the room for all I know.  I was scared and for a moment couldn't wake up but after a minute I did.  I felt numb again and started praying over and over again, "please God, help me, I'm scared" over and over again.  Then again I had the sensation of someone touching me gently.  The touching again did not frighten me.  I felt that I needed to go wake my husband who was laying on the couch.  I was calm at this point but was starting to get a little nervous again as reviewed what happened.  I felt I needed to get up while I was still mostly calm and when I did my husband was awake.  He said he had been startled awake by a sound in the kitchen right before I came out.  It was really weird because he usually sleeps through anything!

Both times I felt someone was trying to give me a message.  Like a moral.  It is weird because I never had this happen in my dreams in the past.  The first time I woke up thinking, "There are people out there who need love." the second time, "There are people out there who hate you".

I don't know how much I believe in this stuff.  Maybe I don't want to believe.  But I do know what has happened and I'll admit I'm a little afraid to go to sleep tonight!

Well, gotta go get lunch for the kids but I will check back tonight.

My questions are:  Should I be afraid?  Does anyone know what is going on?  I am NOT trying to have these dreams/OOBE, they are just happening.  Can I get hurt?  Is this common?

TIA,

Jenna