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Topics - shadow_specter

#1
  Hi, it's been a couple years since I posted on this website.  For a while I left this forum because I stopped believing in a lot of the stuff, being a healthy skeptic and writing off a lot of stuff as simple myth.  I continued to do meditation and "energy cultivation", but did not believe in any "chakras", kundalini, etc.  Well about 3 weeks ago I had a full-blown Kundalini awakening (It's a long story, but I guess if anyone wants the full version I will tell) and it was unreal.  (As a side note I have done drugs before, such as ectasy, lsd, shrooms) I can honestly say that the feeling of pure euphoria and bliss was twice as good as any ecstasy roll you could possibly ever do.  Everything that I encountered was with some divine love feeling, and my voice was fixed on this crazy wavelength of love.  The third eye was pulsating like CRAZY, like it was getting milked, and if I cultivated that feeling, I would become almost drunk in ecstasy.  I had to snap myself out of this drunken stupor just to talk to someone, it was that intense.  If I cultivated the feeling long enough I would almost be in tears, but not because of sadness, but because of the purest happiness and bliss that one could ever experience.  I felt like I would never get sick again, my body was surging with insane amounts of energy that made me want to run or do something.  Later that night (after a short talk) one of my other newly met friends (who unknown to me had been into this stuff) had an awakening also. 
     Well to continue, ever since that day I have been doing consistent daily meditation.  I can even feel my chakras now (INTENSE buzzing ,like a cell phone vibrating), cold feeling, warm feeling, a *chemical?* going from the bottom of my spine towards the third eye which seems to pump a chemical into my body, and many other strange sensations.  Something that I notice is that I only get the pumped chemical feeling/body high/paralysis when I move upwards past the throat chakra.  When the energy cultivates near the third eye I get a couple releases of the chemical from the sacral? region, and when I cultivate the crown chakras' energy I get even more intense surges.  Physically it feels almost exactly like my awakening, except I do not feel the original euphoria / bliss feeling. 
    So a couple of questions.  Can you train yourself to retain that euphoria/bliss feeling consistently?
                                       The only two chakras that are hard for me to feel are the solar plexus and crown (root only a tad bit hard,      takes time), do you think that could have anything to do with it?
                                        What are some exercises I can do to help better manage this energy, or help better cultivate it towards the upper chakras (which I am sure by now through experience are some of the "higher?" chakras)
#2
    It's been FOREVER seen i've been on these forums, but anywayz.Me and my friend got into a heated arguement over religion (christianity), and he always answered with illogical responses that made no sense.  My arguement about the baby torture was an arguement so that one would think about who validates what is "right" for the baby, the bible, God, priests, society, or your consciousness?  He obviously says a very illogical string of statements.  Btw im by no means anti-christian, but i dont believe in magical beings tempting people and saving people miraculously.  I was raised hardcore christian and had faith n god, but discovered that my faith was more ignorance.  Anywayz, if someone could PLEASE take the time to read part of this arguement, and give me some feedback on the fallacies of both our arguements, it would be IMMENSELY appreciated.  Btw tomorrow i will post about information on a religion which is EXTREMELY close to what i believe, almost on point, and will help explain my point of view about christianity.  (Something extremely freaky, was that earlier in the conversation he kept on talking about "God's will", when on t.v., on a RANDOM comedy, the guy happened to mention god's will.  He was jokin about god's will to get in his wife's pants.  It almost seems too coincidental that these 2 things matched up perfectly in THIS type of conversation.........  some input please?)

Prodigy51288 (11:11:10 PM):  but lets say that one day there comes a time in your life that something really really dirty happens and you have no one to turn to...would you pray...
xShadowXSpecterx (11:11:32 PM): no, cuz i know that what i do is a product of my actions
xShadowXSpecterx (11:11:39 PM): i reap what i sow... not some magic force influencing things
Prodigy51288 (11:12:31 PM):  so all this evil stuff that happens you're saying that they are not tempted by a greater evil
xShadowXSpecterx (11:12:47 PM): whats the "evil" stuff.... "evil" is a subjective term as it is
xShadowXSpecterx (11:12:51 PM): but yah, i dont believe its some greater evil
xShadowXSpecterx (11:12:58 PM): i believe its just human nature
xShadowXSpecterx (11:13:05 PM): i have no reason to believe its a greater evil
Prodigy51288 (11:13:09 PM):  so what is human nature
Prodigy51288 (11:13:16 PM):  how did we get human nature
xShadowXSpecterx (11:13:28 PM): its basic psychology man, and its shaped by the way we act
Prodigy51288 (11:13:36 PM):  if we had control over our nature then why not follow the path of good
xShadowXSpecterx (11:13:42 PM): what is "good"
xShadowXSpecterx (11:13:46 PM): and we do
xShadowXSpecterx (11:13:51 PM): its just not always that simple as u make it sound
xShadowXSpecterx (11:13:52 PM): tell me
xShadowXSpecterx (11:14:00 PM): lets say ur wife was 8 months pregnant
xShadowXSpecterx (11:14:07 PM): and someone said to u
xShadowXSpecterx (11:14:18 PM): as soon as this baby is born, its going to live the rest of its life suffering
xShadowXSpecterx (11:14:24 PM): its going to be tortured till the age of 90, a life of suffereing
xShadowXSpecterx (11:14:33 PM): is it better to kill the baby before its born, or give it the right ot live?
Prodigy51288 (11:15:11 PM):  Well it's not up to him to decide what happens to my baby..it's up to God...and if he wants to send it to hell in order to test my faith to him then so be it
xShadowXSpecterx (11:15:29 PM): so what would u decide?
Prodigy51288 (11:16:08 PM):  how would that person know what was going to happen to him thats my question
xShadowXSpecterx (11:16:26 PM): wha..?
xShadowXSpecterx (11:16:29 PM): do u mean the baby?
xShadowXSpecterx (11:16:35 PM): or what
Prodigy51288 (11:16:51 PM):  yeah how would that person know whats going to happen to the baby
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:07 PM): omg
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:17 PM): its like
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:22 PM): HE'S A TERRORIST
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:26 PM): he says as soon as the babies gonna be born
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:27 PM): hes gonna take it
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:29 PM): and torture it
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:31 PM): from day 1
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:32 PM): thats how
Prodigy51288 (11:17:42 PM):  what if i stopped him from taking it
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:50 PM): thats not the point of the question eic
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:51 PM): eric
xShadowXSpecterx (11:17:54 PM): the point is, what would u say
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:01 PM): do u justify what u say by running it by god
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:12 PM): by the bible
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:14 PM): or by ur consciousness
Prodigy51288 (11:18:16 PM):  the man has no power what to decide what happens to my baby
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:20 PM): OMG
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:30 PM): first of all, that type of situation happens all the time
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:38 PM): and 2nd of all, ur still beating aorund the bush and missing the point
xShadowXSpecterx (11:18:42 PM): the point is, what do u decide
Prodigy51288 (11:18:55 PM):  i'm not beating around any bush..your coming up with stupid questions here
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:01 PM): no its a real question
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:05 PM): seriously what would u answer
Prodigy51288 (11:19:12 PM):  i told you my answer
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:17 PM): u could ether
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:18 PM): kill it
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:20 PM): or let it be born
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:25 PM): into a life of misery and torture until its death
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:27 PM): what would u pick
Prodigy51288 (11:19:39 PM):  i'm sticking with the answer i gace
Prodigy51288 (11:19:41 PM):  gave*
xShadowXSpecterx (11:19:44 PM): whats that?
Prodigy51288 (11:19:58 PM):  the man has no power to decide what happens to my baby
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:03 PM): .....
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:06 PM): thats not one of the choices tho..
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:10 PM): and
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:15 PM): how does he not have a choice
Prodigy51288 (11:20:40 PM):  because how does he know that it will be tortured and go to hell...
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:47 PM): NO
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:55 PM): it has nothing to do with the baby goin to hell
xShadowXSpecterx (11:20:58 PM): HE IS GOING TO torture the baby
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:03 PM): PHYSICALLY
Prodigy51288 (11:21:07 PM):  but i stopped him from doing that
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:11 PM): HOW....
Prodigy51288 (11:21:28 PM):  by taking the baby when it was born and calling the police
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:36 PM): no, eric, ur still missing the point
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:45 PM): lets say
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:47 PM): U ONLYH have those 2 options
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:51 PM): theres no heroic deeds or anything
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:55 PM): theres a point to this question eric
xShadowXSpecterx (11:21:59 PM): but ur coming up with 3rd options
Prodigy51288 (11:22:02 PM):  theres always more options though
xShadowXSpecterx (11:22:05 PM): dude
xShadowXSpecterx (11:22:15 PM): just pick either A or B
Prodigy51288 (11:22:25 PM):  nah I like my option better
xShadowXSpecterx (11:22:31 PM): the point im tryin to make is
xShadowXSpecterx (11:22:46 PM): who makes the decision
xShadowXSpecterx (11:22:55 PM): on whether it is better
Prodigy51288 (11:22:56 PM):  who makes what decision
xShadowXSpecterx (11:23:14 PM): whether its better to spare a life from a life of complete misery
xShadowXSpecterx (11:23:19 PM): or if u give them the gift of life
xShadowXSpecterx (11:23:28 PM): knowing their whole existence will be a hell on earth
Prodigy51288 (11:23:41 PM):  i don't know if it will live a life of hell on earth
xShadowXSpecterx (11:23:49 PM): omg...
Prodigy51288 (11:23:54 PM):  no one knows but God
Prodigy51288 (11:23:55 PM):  xP
xShadowXSpecterx (11:23:59 PM): r u serious..
xShadowXSpecterx (11:24:02 PM): i hope ur not just messing with me
Prodigy51288 (11:26:02 PM):  i don't know what you're talking about mike..I mean if you don't want to believe in God then don't...I'm not forcing you to...but I believe there is one and no one will change my mind about that..now sure you can't take the bible literally all the time..for example if they say someone had to sacrifice their son in order to glorify God then its just a way of saying that you should devote your soul to God...they arent really saying to kill the son...its just the way people talked back then...
Prodigy51288 (11:26:31 PM):  but if you don't believe then don't...but don't go around saying you know the truth about everything and trying to say there isn't a God..
xShadowXSpecterx (11:27:42 PM): no
xShadowXSpecterx (11:27:46 PM): but ur totally missing the point of the arguement
xShadowXSpecterx (11:27:59 PM): and ur taking 3rd options that defy the whole point of the arguement
Prodigy51288 (11:28:00 PM):  im not missing the point
Prodigy51288 (11:28:20 PM):  i'm taking the 3rd option...you know why? because I can...I have the will to do so...
Prodigy51288 (11:28:35 PM):  if i didn't then i would take your option but i'm not a robot or slave
Prodigy51288 (11:29:16 PM):  why do i pick the third option...because of free will..God gave us this free will...i chose to use my will to pick a third option
xShadowXSpecterx (11:29:37 PM): so if theres a test
xShadowXSpecterx (11:29:40 PM): and theres answers A and B
xShadowXSpecterx (11:29:49 PM): do u have the free will to choose C?
Prodigy51288 (11:29:56 PM):  yes
xShadowXSpecterx (11:30:03 PM): that makes no sense
xShadowXSpecterx (11:30:06 PM): and its illogical
Prodigy51288 (11:30:09 PM):  i have the will to choose it but will i
Prodigy51288 (11:30:16 PM):  well that depends on the situation
Prodigy51288 (11:31:34 PM):  the problem with humans is they want a logical answer for everything because they can't accept the fact that everything isn't always logical
Prodigy51288 (11:32:13 PM):  if we were supposed to have the answers to everything then we would have been created to know everything..but we aren't..simple as that..
xShadowXSpecterx (11:32:28 PM): i agree with that too
xShadowXSpecterx (11:32:37 PM): but in my situation even, u keep on spring up 3rd options
xShadowXSpecterx (11:32:43 PM): which isn't an option
xShadowXSpecterx (11:32:48 PM): and saying that its ur free will
Prodigy51288 (11:33:02 PM):  it is my free will
Prodigy51288 (11:33:14 PM):  if i didn't have free will i'd have to choose option A or B
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:22 PM): well its true... u do
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:24 PM): OK here then
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:27 PM): ur stuck in a box
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:31 PM): locked in there, no way out
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:37 PM): thers a button A, and a button B
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:41 PM): u can choose iether to
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:48 PM): press a, press b, or press none
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:54 PM): wheres option c?
xShadowXSpecterx (11:33:56 PM): tell me what it is
Prodigy51288 (11:34:05 PM):  what happens when i press the button
xShadowXSpecterx (11:34:21 PM): A = baby gets tortured for lifetime
xShadowXSpecterx (11:34:26 PM): B = baby gets killed instantly and spared
xShadowXSpecterx (11:34:30 PM): if u dont press either
xShadowXSpecterx (11:34:39 PM): the baby gets tortured still
xShadowXSpecterx (11:34:43 PM): wheres choice C?
Prodigy51288 (11:34:49 PM):  break out of the box
xShadowXSpecterx (11:35:05 PM): ITS NOT AN OPTION
xShadowXSpecterx (11:35:11 PM): ITS 50 FEET THICK STEEL
Prodigy51288 (11:35:12 PM):  take the baby and go on with life because nobody knows that it will be tortured
Prodigy51288 (11:35:22 PM):  i'll break through the steel
xShadowXSpecterx (11:35:25 PM): .......
xShadowXSpecterx (11:35:30 PM): ok.. thats just nonsense
Prodigy51288 (11:35:55 PM):  your putting me in these bizarre situations and i'm answering with bizarre answers...what do you think about that buddy
xShadowXSpecterx (11:36:17 PM): whats the point of me asking u the question?
xShadowXSpecterx (11:36:26 PM): do u think
Prodigy51288 (11:36:30 PM):  why not ask yourself that
Prodigy51288 (11:36:35 PM):  your asking the question
xShadowXSpecterx (11:36:36 PM): I KNOW THE REASON
xShadowXSpecterx (11:36:42 PM): thats why im asking u obviously
xShadowXSpecterx (11:37:19 PM): i obviously know the reason im asking u
Prodigy51288 (11:37:32 PM):  or do you
xShadowXSpecterx (11:37:32 PM): seriously tho
xShadowXSpecterx (11:37:35 PM): uhh...
xShadowXSpecterx (11:37:39 PM): what do u mean "or do i?"
xShadowXSpecterx (11:37:46 PM): i obviously do.. its not just a random question with no point
Prodigy51288 (11:38:03 PM):  is it
xShadowXSpecterx (11:38:13 PM): why do u keep on answering a question with a question
xShadowXSpecterx (11:38:15 PM): tell me then
xShadowXSpecterx (11:38:19 PM): why do u think im askin u
xShadowXSpecterx (11:38:26 PM): make a statement, not a question response
Prodigy51288 (11:40:07 PM):  as I said..I just think you're blinded by what you think is fact...you tend to go with the crowd because it seems "logical"...well how do you know if the logical stuff is always right...you're just interested in the tangible stuff in life...but afraid of trusting the intangible...
xShadowXSpecterx (11:40:28 PM): no
xShadowXSpecterx (11:40:30 PM): seriously tho man
xShadowXSpecterx (11:40:38 PM): dont telll me
xShadowXSpecterx (11:40:43 PM): u think i need science to rely on as a hard fact
xShadowXSpecterx (11:40:53 PM): that i can't have faith cuz it might be wrong
xShadowXSpecterx (11:41:01 PM): that im afraid of the existence of god because he "might" not exist
xShadowXSpecterx (11:41:07 PM): that i can't believe things i can't see
xShadowXSpecterx (11:41:13 PM): am i right?
#3
Personally, if anybody is wanting to get into energy/chi raising, I dont recommend the NEW method.  Visualization is something that i feel "fools the user" into feeling false sensations, and over-exaggerating any sensations they may get.  I know it helps the person to focus on certain mental actions, but if you want to truly experience chi I recommend using your awareness.  Maybe NEW does work good, but I believe that most western techniques are for guillable people.  By learning to move your awareness, you can control chi/energy much more efficiently, and everybody i know who is good at energy stuffz never used visualization.  O well, thats my 2 cents, tell me your opinions.
#4
When you first start getting into energy/chi raising, you usually get alot of sensations.  Some of mine were feeling my whole body shaking, feeling strong "pulses" in every finger, feeling strong buzzing, feeling a strong strong "pulse" up your back, and alot more.  Typically the only reason you feel these is because your "energy" is getting rid of the blockages, making weird sensations.  After advancing enough these sensations will go away (almost completely), and even crazier sensations will appear.  Some of my crazier sensations (currently) is i get a IMMENSE/PHYSICAL feeling like 2 fingers are massaging my 3rd eye area, and an extremely strong sense of energy that you can control (and use on other people).  AT least for me, and every other person i know, when you advance enough, you get this feeling of a "cool breeze" blowing across your body where energy blockages are freed up.  I mean you will just be sitting there, and BAM, you can feel a streak of energy just kind of disappate across your body (chest, arm, face), and you will suddenly feel a cool breeze (it feels just like a REAL breeze outside, just as physical).  For me it was weird, because when it first happened to my face and chest only half of the energy cleared up, and I'd have this "cool breeze" sensation on only half of my face.  That is far from the weirdest thing that happens though, there is plenty more.  My best word of advice is to not over-exaggerate any sensations that you get, be patient (this is one of the hardest things), practice everyday, and be dedicated.  I have come so far from where i started (i'm still only an extreme beginner considering how much there is ahead of me), and Im 100% sure that if you truly want to ANYBODY can do it.  If any of you guys have any questions, feel free to ask, but only if you're serious/sincere about it ^_^.
#5
Well like 30 minutes ago i made my first energy/psi ball.  Maybe its cuz i've been tryin tai chi/qi gong, but anywayz i was doin some basic energy raising.  About 20 minutes into it i decided to try to try making an energy ball.  I spread my hands out about 3 feet apart, and slowly moved em together.  I really didn't feel anything at all until my hands were about 6 inches apart, when all of a sudden my hands just stopped.  Curious, i tried to push further together, but i felt even stronger resistance.  I circled my hands around it and felt it, it was about 5 inches in diameter.  after playin with it for like 2 minutes (squishing and stretching it) i accidentally squished it and it kind of squished out of my hands an disappated.  It kind of feels like what i guess a sphere of water would feel like, or maybe condensed air.  well thats the interesting part.  Anybody have any similiar experiences?
#6
Well anywayz, yesterday i went to go meditate in my room.  I can't sit indian style when i do it cuz if i do it for too long it puts strain on my back, so i lay down on my bed, legs a little seperate, arms spread out a tiny bit.  Well anywayz, after i get down i breathe, blah blah, n just get relaxed, n closed eyes.  Well i'd say about 15 minutes of it I get this big feeling, like BAM!, throughout my whole body.  Its kind of a relaxed/numb feeling.  I'm like, ok, kool, lol.  So i'm seeing through my eyes the blackness, n all of a sudden (its not like one of those afterimage thingies) this big purple mass.  Its outlined by colors like red, orange, blue, etc, but its like all blended together, but the big mass is purple.  Well, it keeps on moving in weird shapes, like an amoeba type thing, n it keeps on repeating, going to different points of the blackness.    
So i'm pretty interested now, so i keep on going to see what other results might happen ^_^.  (BTW the whole time i'm feeling this ?energy/blood? pulsing up my spine, except it feels like its throughout my WHOLE body, engorging my muscles n body.  It pulses too, hehe), so yah.  The numbness is especially felt around the joint, and extremely around the base of my spine (it feels like an intense intense numbness)  All of a sudden i start feeling pain throughout my whole body, not really painful, but i could deal with it =D.  My muscles (especially my legs, and extremely my inner thighs) felt like they were tensing up like CRAZY, but i knew that my muscles looked physically relaxed.  So i'm thinkin, "ouch, o well, i'll take the pain n see what happens".  Well, after about ?15? minutes of this pain, i feel this extreme sense of disconnection from my body (note, i'm still mentally aware of all of this, and its an extreme numbness i can't feel myself)  So kool , i want to take it further.  so i notice the "numb" feeling of my body seems like it can move around seperate from my physical body.  so i'm like "kool, maybe i'll try manually  moving it!".  So I try, and it felt like my numbness was moving like 2 inches off of my body, vibrating extremely fast.  So i tried it again, and then i could move it again!  ok, lol, i can't move it far, but it moves =D.  So I REALLY wanted to continue, but my mom was buggin me to go get dinner >.>.  so i get out of this state of mind (i guess, lol) and when i open my eyes n stuff (not gonna get into detail about the effects) i stretched.  WOW, it felt like waking up in the morning, i was all stiff and like well slept, lol.  so i went down, ate, n tried it later but was too distracted.  Can anybody tell me what this is, or if they ever had similiar experiences?
#7
Well anywayz, yesterday i went to go meditate in my room.  I can't sit indian style when i do it cuz if i do it for too long it puts strain on my back, so i lay down on my bed, legs a little seperate, arms spread out a tiny bit.  Well anywayz, after i get down i breathe, blah blah, n just get relaxed, n closed eyes.  Well i'd say about 15 minutes of it I get this big feeling, like BAM!, throughout my whole body.  Its kind of a relaxed/numb feeling.  I'm like, ok, kool, lol.  So i'm seeing through my eyes the blackness, n all of a sudden (its not like one of those afterimage thingies) this big purple mass.  Its outlined by colors like red, orange, blue, etc, but its like all blended together, but the big mass is purple.  Well, it keeps on moving in weird shapes, like an amoeba type thing, n it keeps on repeating, going to different points of the blackness.    
So i'm pretty interested now, so i keep on going to see what other results might happen ^_^.  (BTW the whole time i'm feeling this ?energy/blood? pulsing up my spine, except it feels like its throughout my WHOLE body, engorging my muscles n body.  It pulses too, hehe), so yah.  The numbness is especially felt around the joint, and extremely around the base of my spine (it feels like an intense intense numbness)  All of a sudden i start feeling pain throughout my whole body, not really painful, but i could deal with it =D.  My muscles (especially my legs, and extremely my inner thighs) felt like they were tensing up like CRAZY, but i knew that my muscles looked physically relaxed.  So i'm thinkin, "ouch, o well, i'll take the pain n see what happens".  Well, after about ?15? minutes of this pain, i feel this extreme sense of disconnection from my body (note, i'm still mentally aware of all of this, and its an extreme numbness i can't feel myself)  So kool , i want to take it further.  so i notice the "numb" feeling of my body seems like it can move around seperate from my physical body.  so i'm like "kool, maybe i'll try manually  moving it!".  So I try, and it felt like my numbness was moving like 2 inches off of my body, vibrating extremely fast.  So i tried it again, and then i could move it again!  ok, lol, i can't move it far, but it moves =D.  So I REALLY wanted to continue, but my mom was buggin me to go get dinner >.>.  so i get out of this state of mind (i guess, lol) and when i open my eyes n stuff (not gonna get into detail about the effects) i stretched.  WOW, it felt like waking up in the morning, i was all stiff and like well slept, lol.  so i went down, ate, n tried it later but was too distracted.  Can anybody tell me what this is, or if they ever had similiar experiences?