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I would like my account banned. This site is a piece of excrement, I hate it and I hate all you people here for being close minded little asshats who think that you know what exists and what doesn't. And then treating those like myself as delusional freaks just because we have a different belief system then yours and don't follow the same set of "rules" or mentality as yours.

Despite how broken and drama infested the fictionkin community is, that and soulbonding at least accepts and for most, believe, in the idea of fictional characters existing because they actually UNDERSTAND the multiverse theory. I've been able to, for the couple years I haven't been on this crappy site, bond closer with my lover, Shadow the Hedgehog, who you bonkers kept telling me that he's "Oh so Evil." Go get a life and stop telling people what they should believe and not believe.

So ban me now, lurking on here is complete cancer and I'd feel better if my account was just discarded in the wind. And if you really want to reply to this, go ahead. You'll be wasting your precious bonking time anyways.

After what was said to me from a thread of mine that his gotten locked I realized I made a mistake coming back on this website. I feel completely discriminated on just because of my beliefs and my life experiences and now I'm being treated like I did something wrong just because I answered people's questions. So I will definitely not be coming back anymore. My fiance was right to get upset and yell at me when he found out that I was coming on this site again.

I never asked for any help with my life etc. but you asked so I answered and what to I get? a slap across the face.

Ban me, lock me whatever I don't care. And this is a prime example as to why I don't like people. Bye.

Those are your words from another thread.
Picking and choosing what to be kind to... what to Love... isn't what I'm talking about.

Learning to Love (not "love")... learning to interact with ALL consciousnesses (including all people) is paramount to spiritual growth as an individual awareness.  You become better in this way... you spiritually grow in this way.  

I'm kind to those who show kindness back, that's my moral unless for specific reasons or if I know I will get in trouble. Also I'm not like other people, I get ill and my mind goes insane also I get week if I tried to connect with other people especial those who tell me I'm a horrible/evil person, literally in my face. It's not easy for me learning how to love humans...you said the same thing many others have told me before but it usually just follows as me being the wrong evil person in the picture.

I'm more focused on is learning more on how to be a good hunter and an independent person who takes care of herself and move to a more rural area and probably associate myself with a hunting community as being the closest thing to human interaction I will get.

Something both my fiance and I want.

Not a lot of people like that thought either. But it's important to stay away from these thoughts, not everyone is like that.
Some people try to help others understand what good life has to offer.
That stress and anxiety attacks are due to you according to much importance to what people say about you.
When someone has a different opinion than me I'm fine with it, because I know everyone has it's own perspective.
It helps me clear out all the possible controversy or arguments that could happen with that person.
I forgive people for having said bad things to me when I was young because I know theses people we're only unskilled at what they wanted to say. They were unskilled as much as I was with wisdom. When you are not taught the way of life and valors, you can say bad things to people and don't understand what impact it had on someone. Same as me I'm sure I said bad things to people because I didn't know it either.
This world is full of people who don't know it either and this is the reason why you shouldn't let your emotions and anger take control.

Superiority is only a way for human to categorize everything by power. In wisdom true superiority is based on how much you can handle. If you give love instead of keeping the argumentation, then you are the one who doesn't let a small argument take over the situation.
It's never about who's superior... it's about who can handle everything.

I wish I didn't give a hoot about what other people thought but I get attacked by their negative energies to the point of attempts of suicide. I have a high level of anxiety attacks that are not easy to control.

Can you elaborate a bit on how the human race have caused your "stress" and "anxiety attacks"?

Being bullied for years and still continuing on in college because of my beliefs, sexual interests and such that most people wouldn't agree with. It annoys me to even go to college half the time because of the kind of things people talk about on a daily bases. Always about someone's sexuality, race, religion etc. brought up in a joking and negative way.

Also just being on the internet, on various forums like Starseed.net and trying to communicate with other people have always never been good and people who treat me horribly etc. I try to refrain from talking about the kind of food I eat, my fiance, my hobbies etc. basically anything because I had years of experience with people who have always threw me under the bus just because the things I do and believe are against the norms for most countries. I gave up TV because the same patterns I see in humans continue to populate even commercials from, sexism etc.

I was forced into therapy before and my therapist wanted me to go to a "hospital" to get treated for something that I couldn't change about myself etc. etc... It get's into more of the medicalization of deviance and how I'm an anti-phychology.

The friend I used to have was someone from college who got me into astral projection etc. but like many he ended up channeling spirits to me telling me my beliefs are illusions that I am a horrible person etc.

I try to distance myself from people since I get terrible PTSD and horrible flinching. But it doesn't happen all the time and when it does, my fiance and my non-human friends are always there to help me.

This is just for humans on Earth, I have no problem with humans on my fiance's world etc. I just believe people on this planet in this generation have shown to be very uncaring and cruel.

It seems to me like you know what things you value then, and what you want from life.

I think the label is what is confusing people. They have no idea what you mean when you talk about "dark" things. Part of the issue is that you are using the term, and it has a very specific and well-defined meaning to you, but either a very vague or very negative meaning to others. It is a term with no universally accepted meaning, and so using it in this way is probably a barrier to understanding in group discussions.

Yeah.

To learn to Love.

Well I know that I give love to things most humans don't which has gotten me respect from many beings.

Forgive me if I'm reading this wrong, but then, do you feel you're superior to "humans"?
Everyone believes what they do for a reason... those beliefs are also metaphors for something larger and harder to 'define'.  You use different "metaphors" than most people do here.
Your example in another thread of what you mean by "darkness". 

This forum-thing... helping here... is really all about figuring out what metaphors people are using and working with them.  I'm kind of stubborn in this way, as I see certain metaphors as being self-destructive, so please forgive me if I cross the line from time to time. 

I'm only consciousness after all. LoL

My soul is misanthropic. I don't believe I'm superior to the human race but I just don't like them for many things that have caused me such stress and anxiety attacks etc. I don't like the thought of humanity believing they are superior to everything else.

What does dark mean? What defines it? What traits do dark things have? I am still trying to establish this from your other thread.

I sort of get a picture of "dark" meaning "neutral with style" in how you have used the word so far.

yeah in a way, I just like darkness because it's attractive and it feels nice to have. The characteristics I see it having is, protectiveness, individuality, power, love & romance and truth. The color for it to me is black or aka. absence of light.

And dark for me is just an energy with its own properties like any other energy. People can use it to cause harm the same way with light, water, air, chaos etc. but doesn't mean that the energy itself is bad. I see people going to the light more and are using it in a way that is completely consequential. Being that dark and light are kinda the opposite from each other that's what people are doing imo. they are basically framing darkness as something only associated with harm and "evil". Whether one wants to believe darkness is "evil" or not is not my problem. What really upsets me is when people want to hurt and manipulate the minds that are associated with darkness for their own selfish/clouded desires and not attempt to find common ground with it.

What do you believe, and why are they your beliefs?

Sorry to address each of your threads with questions, lol.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, of course. Thing about opinions... some of them make sense, and some of them don't. There are bad reasons to believe what turns out to be real, and somewhat good reasons to believe what may end up being false.

For instance... say I believe it is dangerous to stand in the road, and I reason this is because the road is actually black quicksand. In this case I accidentally arrived at the actual truth that the road was dangerous, but through self-deception or confusion.

Say in another case, every-time I go to my friend's home, he turns off the electrical breakers in his house, and breaks out candles. It might be somewhat rational for me to assume he has problems with this electrical system at home, or at least hasn't been paying his bills; yet this isn't the case, because it was all a deception on the friend's part. In this case I believe something that is false, but for logical reasons. My other friends, who know about the act, know that I am wrong about this, despite my understandable reasons for thinking so.

Following this line of thought, I think most people are more interested in your thinking process, than in the exact thing you believe. No one can tell you with the real truth is, but people can and do engage with your path for getting there in your head.

I do not follow any specific religion or faith; Christianity, Satanism, Wiccan, Pagan etc. I believe in what makes sense to me + the experiences that come with it. I believe that the humans of this world are really young and cannot and/or have a hard understanding about what to believe etc. and follow the path most follow because they 1. feel scared to admit what they believe in due to criticism or 2. are to eaten up by the human brain to the point of resigning to be in the position of a follower and not in a good way.

I believe that the people who are trying to conform me or those with counter-cultural beliefs whether it be spiritual or morals to believing in things that either seem wrong to me or/and single minded have let the nature of the human brain take over themselves and creates them into more of a person who only like order and "justice".

I believe in infinity and alternative dimensions/realities, the fact that one can non-exist if one truly feels like it + the existence of "fictional" characters from video games, books, television etc just like my fiance who refers to Shadow The Hedgehog. To me, demons, angels, imps, nymphs, goddess, gods, fairies, vampires etc. also exist in both in the bodies of humans on Earth and on other planets.  I do not agree with the whole "they don't exist" idea since it sounds complete silly and weird to think that people only think of things that can "only" make sense for a human who cannot expand their views. I believe that these "fictional" characters that are created are in the splitting perspective to the people on this planet existed for many generations even before the human race was born on this Earth and that the earthlings just receive information about the "fictional" world existence from thoughts and such channeled from that specific reality and sometimes even being newly created. (Yes I believe that one can create a completely whole dimension/world if one does, sometimes even by accident.

The reason why I think people see darkness and such as something only negative and evil and only believe that if there is a "balance" with something "positive" is that the upbringing of media, what one is told to believe from peers and it's shrouding the mind and making illusions of having the things that are not evil in context sense seem to them as they are. Then again being that I believe in alternative realities that is true but for me it is not because I live in a completely other reality then most people.

One could say that watching things like Blood Lad and Inuyasha made me have the (illusion) that darkness/demons are good if brought up in a debate.

I love darkness non-human etc. since I was a little girl. and I would always fantasize etc. about vampires and such but also things like fairies, being with pokemon, anthropomorphic animals, digimon etc. and most people just say that I'm just living in a dream today because of it. But I never stopped believe nor did I want to believe for one second that these things people feared are evil or just a petty pipe-dream.

I believe I have many friends on other worlds who help me whenever I need it. Many of these friends are considered "fictional characters" including, Shadow The Hedgehog, Sonic The Hedgehog, Beelzemon, Rayquaza etc. Shadow being the closest of friends since he is my fiance has been so much of a help for me. As chaotic and dark as he is, he is still a nice and caring lover who makes sure that no one from Earth will try to eat away at my energy as many times it has. He gives me advice and helps me grow as an individual which is nice as well, might say he's like my god or guardian angel.

The paraphrase everything, I believe in infinite and alternative dimensions/realities as more and more worlds are being created on earth and from other planets every second. I don't believe that Darkness is evil as to me is just a form of energy. I don't believe one should convert to anything outside their beliefs because it will just end up eating away at them as it did to me when I once attempted to convert my thoughts due to being brainwashed by someone I used to talk to in college.

I can go on forever about what I believe and don't believe in but that will take to long, also extremely hard to make it understandable.

Well theses are mythical creatures, I mean, there's no such things as demons, only manifestations of them through our consciousness.
They are metaphors to tell how someone was acting. If I'd pickup a book on sightings of vampires I'd have to remember that we're not talking about Blood or anything but about metaphors on an energy stealer.
The satisfaction you would get from obtaining a name for that creature you manifested in your spirit would only last for a while, then you'd manifest another one and ask for another name until your spirit can't manifest any demons anymore. Then you would be stuck and you'd seek answers to why it doesn't work. Labels for demons are not important, if you give them attention they'll just drain your energy. Where instead you could put it to good use.
I don't mean to be harsh or anything I'm just answering my own way with my own experiences.
If you can't bear with an opinion being shared to you, this is not the right place to ask for it then, all this forum is about is opinion based.
If you want definitive names then there's google for that.
Here I've found it, took me 2 second on google: Cthulhu.
Have a good read. It's from H.P. Lovecraft.

Alright then I will leave, goodbye.

Thanks for all the individual thoughts, but the reason why I made this tread was what would one consider myself to be; demon, vampire, monster etc. or basically what kind of creature is known to have tentacles coming out of it's mouth from the experience I had. I don't understand why people are telling me about balancing light and dark and how to cope with negativity. Please, I am not looking to be told how I should live and think about my spiritual life and just my life in general, thank you.

and maybe there's a reason for you to be here in the first place so that this would be undesirable.

If you mean being on Earth then I'm still trying to figure out my reason for being here. But that's a whole other story.

I guess it took me around a year as well until I started having OBEs and Astral Projections. It can take quite a bit of time depending on the person. I have tried the most commonly used practices of getting into an OOB state but I'm trying to develop my own technique that's undoubtedly been working for me through an unconscious thought process for a while now. It's hard to explain even for myself but there is this feeling of a 6th sense that I can feel my mind doing every time to let me into the other realm if you know what I mean.

I'd say keep on doing what you are doing, add some of he most comely used practices for getting into that state and develop your own technique that works best for you.

I'm very curious about this. How come when I ask a question on here most of the responses I receive are about what I should or shouldn't believe in where most of the time the answers are not even relevant to what I am asking? Same thing happened months ago before I became inactive with this site and that is the reason why I haven't came back in almost a year's time.

I come from a different background from most and I experience things differently from other people. I know my beliefs system and patterns are not what people would expect from themselves but I didn't expect people to tell me that I have an unhealthy relationship with my fiance or that I'm living in a fantasy world.

I never had said I am struggling or being treated horribly by the entities that I associate with so I'm just wondering why people must say these kind of things to me when I'm asking questions about my spiritual life.

Sadly, due to the limitations of language... I don't think I can be anymore precise as I have been.  I apologize for that.

Read what I posted above a few times in your head and try to dissect what I'm trying to say. 

K.

You can't "connect" to anything "dark", if you too, are not dark.
You must be that which is... in order to experience that which you want to experience.

I explained on another thread that I am part of darkness. I let darkness become a part of me, kinda was given to me in a dream as a reward for protecting heartless (beings of darkness) from people. And I disagree with having to be dark to be able to connect with it. For example someone can connect with dark and light energies.

I strongly don't believe in the idea that one must be "evil" to be dark as that darkness is not always associated with "evil". I have to put evil in quotation marks because evil imo means different things to different people. Always had believed this for years.

I'm already trying to merge with my fiance who of which is an entity of dark energy.

You're consciousness.  Everyone and everything is consciousness. 

You, personally, are awareness within that consciousness.  You are one perspective of consciousness experiencing itself as awareness.

That "awareness", at this very moment, is taking the form of a human on the planet Earth within this reality we're all experiencing.

We're all a perspective of awareness within consciousness experiencing.  When you fall asleep at night, you're still consciousness... you're still awareness... your form has simply changed perspective.

I need an elaboration.

Yes but what do you have to do to have the ability to speak to spirits

I don't know for sure, I do telepathy (though that's more for speaking to beings in other worlds/dimensions) but other people use the Ouija Board and such to talk to spirits (mostly dead relatives who passed over).

Why do you suppose you might be a demon or monster?

How do you feel about being such?

Well the reason I consider it is because I have a fixation on dark energy and always had growing up for some reason. I really shouldn't have said demon or monster since, to me, there are many different types of creatures like that that have no association to darkness at all. So I just call myself a being of darkness or (A.K.A heartless more notably based on what this world franchises them to be).

And even before I knew I wasn't a human. Many people told me I was a dark angel etc.

I feel competently normal for what I am just like anyone else, there is no illness and such from being what I am. I just love it when new things happen to me that get me wondering about what's sealed away inside.

It's an entity you created from your mind and heart. So is the tenticle thing. They will fade and go away when you divert your attention from them. It's a good idea to move away from them and try to find something a little more substantial. The only real use that they have is to indicate whats on your mind at the time.

Maybe reading H. P. Lovecraft isn't a good idea before going to bed 

No thanks, I have no interest of doing that.

Try goetia and necronomicon... I will never try to connect with them again especially the necronomicon

Oh yeah I forgot about the necronomicon, my ex used to have the book. Thanks for the suggestions! 

Hello 000MobianAngel000

The sparteil is not your fiance it is something else inside of your fiance's soul. Do not be fooled the sparteil is not your fiance and he is not even aware of him being there. The sparteil can hold many millions of souls this is their ability. The sparteil is not a friend but is most likely unaware that you see him. Many people see these entities I have just seen them more then most. Here is a link to a site and thread that you can read about these things if you wish. http://projectavalon.net/forum4/showthread.php?74995-The-Out-of-Body-Experience.-A-Place-Where-Science-and-Spirituality-Meet.&p=880274&viewfull=1#post880274   You will want to read through this tread to get updated on the contents of this discussion. This sparteil will leave in time and your fiance will become himself again.  

I highly disagree with the idea that my fiance is "possessed". By the way I communicate with many dark entities and I never had a problem with things like that also the fact that I am a being of darkness myself.

Shadow was always a creature of violence, dominating and possesses dark powers (Many reasons why I love him). Who has also taken the physical form of an anthropomorphic hedgehog, he was always like this since being created by scientists and when I met him lifetimes ago. Shadow has never been any different then the first time I met him on the space station as a dark shadowy beast.

My fiance and I we live a happy life together and I hold no suspension of fear of his existence. Thanks for the link and your opinion though.

If Shadow was any different then that then I could tell that something had gotten into him.

I'm very bewildered at why people think my fiance is troubled because of what he is/looks like. I don't see creatures who look like that as something of a negative nature, including myself. He is completely fine, that's just what he is.

Just remembered something that had happened to me recently. I was on the computer and I could feel something like tongues maneuvering around inside my mouth. It was happening constantly but there wasn't any physical property about them that I could see on this physical realm, but my fiance told me telepathically that they are tentacles projecting from my mouth and that it is possibly a new found power/attribute that I am experiencing.

I already know that I'm not originally a human but something harboring some great darkness. I'm still trying to figure out specifically what I really am.

I have no problem and I like being what I am, I just have a hard time coming up with what I can label myself, especially after what happened.

Demon, some sort of monster, something.

Hello 000MobianAngel000

The entity that you see is called a sparteil. The reason for this appearance is the fact he has many souls inside him that are not inside themselves. The sparteil can enter into the soul and experience many things through their ability to understand the veil and the soul. Have you tested your telepathy to insure the accuracy, the sparteil are tricksters and can fool you all the time. The sparteil look like a fuzzy black entity with eyes of red, I have seen many hundreds of them in my journeys and have spoken to many of them. The sparteil were not always this way they once had forms very similar to our own. A long time ago they were tricked and controlled by another force that laid this problem on them so now they move through the veil in search of truths as they fight this confusion. If the sparteil can find your mind tell him this.

"you can't find yourself until you find yourself inside yourself" they will understand this. Also tell him that he must find my mind to find his mind again for my mind is not his mind.

Powessy

Sparteils sound cool but I cannot find them anywhere on the internet. By the way, I have no problems with this entity (my fiance), nor anyone who relates to him controlling my mind, even when he is in this form he has shown kindness and protectiveness around me.

I don't believe that my fiance would trick me into believing in something that is not true. He tries very hard to gain my trust him since so many people on Earth keep telling me that he is untrustworthy and evil due to suspicion and stereotypes of dark entities. I fell for those things even though in my heart I don't believe are true.