Messages

I agree enoch... or I should say I did agree.  I still do but there are factors in my development that lead me to understand that its far more complex than that.  I understand fully what the poster is saying. 

Focus deep, as in normal meditation or AP attempt.  Then imagine waves of goodness, ultimate pure goodness, coming from you.  You are the center of everything, and more importantly this goodness.  Let this goodness spread and touch everything.  Thats how I understand it.

I agree that it varies widely, but as an average my obes feel about on par with reality with that subtle difference... that unexplainable difference.

Well LOL it keeps me on my toes I guess.  I dont know if I ever really do wake up to be honest!    I tend to go through spurts of ridiculous false awakenings or long bouts of SP.  Its always interesting even if it is a bit disturbing....  As much as I would love it all to stop I dont know if I would really want it to, I would probably be bored without it.

I agree totally.  I moved out of my parents house for 3 years before moving back.  My bed used to be positioned in an entirely different place than it is now.  I still wake up on occasion in the RTZ in my old bed sleeping like I used to.  I even sometimes wake up sleeping in the reverse position that I am (feet where head is).  I think your astral body holds a great deal of memory, like a battery.  I dont think its confused, it just believes it is in one place when it isnt.

Ok well I went in and out of the SP state and projected a few times during this experience.  I just kept coming back to the paralysis state every time.  The entire experience lasted about 30 minutes but I was probably only paralyzed for about 10 or 15... it sure felt like a long time though! 

LOL now that I think about it I wish I would have just sat down with the rest of the people and just seen what was going to happen.  I was so excited to share with them that I had projected amongst them that I didnt even think about the fact that maybe that is what all of them had done or maybe I was meant to be there.  I wish you luck in finding it because it was a truely amazing and serene place.

Well I just got back from a LONG night of solid projecting.  I dont know whats going on but over the past month or so my projections during the night have been more lucid and vivid than ever before.  I had a long dream to start it all off, just a typical obstacle course dream, alot like a video game.  Then I was at work and had another bird attacking my head dream that made me wake up.  I shook it off and went back to bed.  I faded into sleep and came out in a large field full of people walking up a stair case up the side of a hill to a giant tent.  The tent was all white and probably the length of a football field, it was made of silky semi transparent material and had a lectern at one end.  I followed the people up the hill.  I knew I was in F3, I just knew it.  I made my way through the crowd to what seemed like someone important.  I said "Excuse me, but could I make an announcement?" and the man looked over at me and said "well.... I guess..." and sort of seemed confused.  People where glancing at me like I seemed out of place and as we reached the tent people seperated into groups and sat in the grass under the tent.  Some in chairs, some in the lotus position.  A quick glance over the crowd reveiled that most of the people where of Indian Muslim or Tibetan lineage.  Some monks where adorned in white Buddhist robes and a section of Hindus with red dots on their heads sat peacefully.  I asked the man again if I could make an announcement and he held out his hand towards the crowd and took a seat in an ornate chair in front of the crowd along with some other people.

I stood facing the people and then turned to face the front and the back.  I stated loudly and clearly "I am here from my living body on earth, I came here through extra dimensional travel.  I am glad to be here with all of you.  Thank you"  I grimaced at my choice of words and decided I could have spoken better given the situation but it was the best I could do.  The man sitting in the chair rose up and with a grin said "What?  Why?  Isnt that... boring?  Or pointless?"  I turned to face the people in the crowd, some of them where talking amongst themselves now and a few just sort of grinned at me like they where trying not to laugh.  I said "Not at all, I find it amazing!  You will have to forgive me if I dissapear randomly though, I dont know how long my visit here will last."  He nodded and feigning patience said "We understand, is there anything else we can do for you?"  At this point I felt my attachment to the area fading and myself returning to my bed.  I gripped feverishly onto the images I was still seeing, staying there for as long as I could.  I began to have a F2 overlay of bees attacking me and I screamed "Ahh, the bees!  I gotta get out of here!"  The guy looked at me like I had lost my mind and then I woke up.

I felt strange and looked about.  I was definitely not awake.  I wasnt even in my house as a matter of fact.  I got up and walked into a hallway.  I could hear people talking and I walked into a kitchen and some members of a rather large family where sitting at a table.  My memory of this house isnt very good but I do remember being astonished by how large the family was (probably 20 or 25 members) and how surreal the house was.  It was straight out of a Tim Burton movie.  Doors at strange angles and archaic gothic appliances.

I woke up finally and put my feet on the floor, glad to be back.  I had my doubts again but atleast I was in my room.  I stood up and moved my limbs, everything seemed normal.  I glanced at my clock and it read 10G47 and I knew I wasnt awake....     I hate getting trapped in a cycle of situations like this.  I walked into my living room and my dad was sitting there watching a TV that was off.  I talked with him but dont recall the conversation and I went to go outside and woke up again.  I was paralyzed and disoriented and allowed myself to slip back into sleep.  I woke up again for the final time and was glad to be back.

I was trapped in a state of sleep paralysis for about 30 minutes today.  It all started with me waking up to hands on me.  This isnt anything new by any means but these hands where different.  I had been searching for the source of the hands I had experienced in the past and who the hands came from.  Today I found out the gender of the hands and they where different.  I awoke and my hands where held tightly by a pair of warm clenched hands.  Clenched in a way that was insistant, if I let go they searched for my hands and clutched them close.  In past experience the hands where always cold and dead, never moving.  These hands had a mind of their own, they where attached to an invisible female form.  I knew they where the same by the feel and the vibe of them, but the presence was awake and in my face so to speak.  I found out the gender by relocating the hands breifly and feeling about, I landed in the forms crotch with my hand and needless to say it wasnt hard to figure out what gender the inviso-woman was.  I struggled to awaken as the hands where creeping me out, clutching at me and not letting me go for more than a second. 

My body from the neck down was free but when I tried to move my head my whole body would freeze and reality would begin to warp around me.  I saw a reddish grey form of a baby floating closer to me during one of these episodes as well as a feather (attached to some animal, but I couldnt move my head far enough to one side to see the rest of it)  that would move and a voice that came from the animal that would say "I won!  I win!"  When I wasnt trying to break the paralysis I would slip into a strange dream area, sometimes I would be lucid sometimes I wouldnt be.  When I was lucid I searched willy nilly for anything entertaining.  When I wasnt lucid... well... I just went along with whatever.

After struggling with this state for about 25 minutes I thought I woke up.  Of course I hadnt, and when I moved my arms I couldnt see them moving.  My ghost arms felt real, I put my palm on my forehead and rubbed it in frusturation and stuck one of my fingers in my mouth.  I felt my body and tried to move but only my arms would move....  I struggled hard this time, trying to pry my head up and wake up finally.  A rush of astral sounds and images came at me and then suddenly I was awake. 

Not to burst your bubble Sarah but some experiences like this have elements that are not accurate.  I cant honestly say this experience isnt right, but I get a distinct psychic feeling that 1150 whats right.  Feel free to kick me in the scrot and deny this but thats just what I feel.  Me love you long time.

Charles

Sounds like a great experience!  I wish I was there with you Sarah.  I have had an increase in experiences lately, maybe we will see each other soon on the "other side"!

Thanks for sharing.
Knightlight

I think we all find ourselves with a monkey on our back in the RTZ every now and again.  I try not to take these experiences too seriously even though they can be disturbing sometimes.  I dont know if I would just assume they are negs, who honestly knows.  I would have to lean towards Nays observation about the astral double.  I have awoken in bed in the RTZ with someone spooning me and then I will wake up in the spot of the spooner in the same position.  Its a complicated topic but I dont know how melevolent I think these clingy types are.

When I woke up from this one I flipped on the light and had to sit there with my head in my hands for a while and collect myself.  It was so vivid and bizzare I didnt know what to think.  Luckily I wrote it all down and posted it as soon as I had the chance.  I dont know what it all means but I think I may have been in some really strange part of F2 or lower F3.  The people on the couch seemed to be setting it all up or observing like scientists.  If I hadnt become lucid at all the whole time I wouldnt have really even noticed them.

Leyla, good one!  I heard that song at work all the time and I always thing about OBE's when I hear it.

Only song I could find words for... very metaphorical...


Staring from the Abyss by origin

http://www.origin-site.com/audio/Origin_-_Staring%20from%20the%20Abyss.mp3



We have returned to the edge of our lives
To gaze deeply within the meaning to just why we're here
Look deep inside all your miserable minds
Only then you will find the meaning to why you are here
There is no truth though you try to rebuke
What you're told, what you learn every day
Face it, you're bonked, you don't know when to stop
But your stop, it awaits the point in time that you step off
You are standing on the edge of all eternity
You can't see the black abyss and you can feel no peace
Plague at your door
Death and pure war
A world unkind
Is what you find
Transfixed by the torture
You can't turn back
On the edge of darkness
You're trapped, you're gagged, you're silent
Staring at the illness
That fills your world
Balance of existence
Offset, severed, it's no more
Everything is turned upside down
An abyss where nothing is found
Overcome, your shocked in terror
It's not real, it's just a vision
Plague at your door
Death and pure war
Blindly staring
In the abyss
Take one step and you fall
Forever
Never to return - no
Slipping into the darkness
Fill your void with nothing
Life deranged
Through your mind you're falling
Staring into the abyss
Just forget that you're sick
Just forget that you're dead
Your world has left you now you can't find your way
You're plunging faster
Forgotten eternity
Of hate and regressions
Finally you hit the ground
Finally you obtain what you never found
Peering up the black slopes
Covered in flesh and blood
Human rage, souls deranged
Wanting out of this hell there's no way out
Look up to see the light
Up to see the might
You fell into night

Fall - on the brink of death
Fall down with the rest
Force you to confess
Stand - up to face the truth
Lost within your youth
Nothing to refute
Run - dive into your grave
The whole world has caved
Into what you made
Just forget that you're dead
Just forget where you're lead
Your world has left you now you become my prey
Your - my possession
Forgotten eternities
Of hate and regression
Finally you hit the ground
Finally I obtain what - you never found
Clawing up the thorned slopes
Covered with flesh and blood
Human rage, souls obtained
Wanting out of this hell - screaming skywards

Lots of tool songs....

I had an incredibly strange dream this morning where I went in and out of lucidity over a 15 minute experience.  First I was searching a dimly lit hallway for some sort of information.  I remember thinking it was a computer disk or I needed to find a jack so I could extract the information.  I vaguely remember talking to someone in the hallway but I cant remember who or what it was.  The most memorable part of the experience came after that.  I was in a room talking with some friends of mine when I noticed off to the one side of the room sat 3 figures in the dark in a long sofa.  As I got closer I could see one of them was sitting between 2 candles and appeared to be levitating.  I studied him closely.  He had greenish skin and messed up teeth and wore big round brass looking glasses.  I got kind of creeped out and returned to a table in the middle of the room which I realized I was in a kitchen.  I started to become more lucid at this point, knowing I was either dreaming or projecting and approached the main island in the kitchen.  On the table sat a square baking pan full of mewling kittens and a big knife.

I suddenly knew that I had to cut off the kittens feet, but there feet where different than usual.  It was as if a paw was growing out of their first paw and I had to trim it off.  As I reached for the knife my lucidity started to wane again and I grabbed ahold of one of the kittens feet and quickly hacked off the strange growth.  The cat of course didnt enjoy it but there was no blood and it seemed to be ok.  As I raised the knife again my lucidity peaked sharply and I dropped the knife and couldnt continue.  I was still feeling shadow feelings of cutting the cats paw and how it squealed and I couldnt stand to see the cats in their strange mutated state any longer.  

I moved towards the couch again and with full lucidity still intact I wanted to know why the forms on the couch where watching and who they where.  I approached the one in the middle I had already seen and looked at him again.  He didnt seem to notice me watching him, he was too intent on watching thing play out as if he had set it all up himself.  I spoke softly in an attempt to not startle the guy and I wanted to inquire as to how he learned to levitate in an attempt to break the ice and maybe gain some knowledge I didnt have already.  I whispered "Excuse me but ..." and he turned suddenly to me and in a hushed manner said "Oh I'm sorry..." as if he was being too loud and sunk back into his chair and the candles dimmed around him making him blend deeper in the shadows.  

I said "Oh no I wasnt commenting on that I was wondering how it was you learned to levitate."  He said " Oh I wasnt, it may have looked that way, the shadows can play tricks you know!"  and he laughed quietly and a bit maniacly.  He leaned towards me and said with wide eyes "You know it takes 89 lifetimes to learn that!"  I said "My 'higher self' (using my fingers to put quotes in the air) told me I had already lived 78 sooo...." and before I could finish he became very angry with me.  I assumed it was my attitude towards the notion of higher self as that was the impression I got from him.  He rose from the couch and waved his hand at me while making a comment I didnt hear.  The torso and head of a ventriloquist dummy appeared and began flying at me as if summoned by the trollish man to attack.

My lucidity peaked to a disturbing level and I grabbed at the dummy and slammed him on the table.  I had my hand on his neck and grabbed the knife off the table and began stabbing him in the face. His face had the consistency of styrofoam under my knife and I soon gouged almost all of his face above the mouth away and on the floor.  The trollish man sprung forward into the light suddenly and with a grimace on his face exclaimed "WAAAAIIIT!!!  Ask him for the 15 million dollars Junta owes me first!!!"  I didnt know if he was refering to the doll as being named Junta (junta, juntar, juntha, I couldnt make it out exactly) and I forcefully asked the dummy for the money and as the dummies mouth opened to reply I woke up.

Boy oh boy was this a wierd one.  I had been having really strange dreams and LD's recently but this one takes the cake.

MAC  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lol.... no more stories of being chased by zombies and hiding in trees.  

lol well... hehe... not really!     I have grown to respect the vocalists just as much as the other members over time just because I believe it takes the same amount of dedication and super human extremeness to do what they do.  Some vocalists are WAY better than others in the genre but the one thing I enjoy the most out of all of it is the shear cave man animalisticness of it all.  Its like pure adrenaline and pushing the limits of the voice box to the extreme.  Sure, its not really in any particular key (most of the time anyway) and its not very dynamic in range, but seriously thats gotta be hard as hell!  And there are just as many unique styles of vocals as their are riffs and beats in extreme metal as a whole.

I will give you a few recommendations that I find rather awesome musically or as a whole:

Dimmu Borgir (my personal fav of all time, any recent album...  Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia or Death Cult Armageddon)

Behemoth (Demigod is the only album I have but its insane)

Origin (any CD, the newer the more intense)

Krisiun

Death (Chuck Shuldinger RIP, one of the greatest bands of all time, The Sound Of Perseverance is an unbelievable CD)

Decapitated

Dying Fetus (STop at Nothing CD)

Diabolical Masquerade (Death's Design)

Emperor (anything recent, their older CD's suffered badly from poor production quality)

This should keep you busy for a while!  Its awesome meeting people who dig the music a lot.  I dont understand people who listen to it for the lyrics specifically.  Listening to satanic spewings and songs about force feeding people broken glass or sanding them faceless with a belt sander seem a bit off.....

I got mine from when i first started projecting and I bought a night light in the shape of a knight.... lol... knight light... get it??? :PP so yeah I bought this light in the hopes of mentally using as a guardian while projecting.  I had him in my room at the base of my bed and if I ever got scared from astral sounds or anything I would open my eyes and look at him and feel better.  Thats where I got it from.

lol thanks, its a lonely road most of the time but I really enjoy it musically.  I can understand why most people dont get into it but I feel as a musician myself that it is probably one of the most technically demanding and awesome styles out there!  You really have to dedicate yourself musically and give it your all to play this style and I admire that the most.

thats how I initiated my last conscious phase.  I was laying in bed, I knew I was really tired and just barely on the edge of sleep and I just decided to try to move my hands.  At first I knew it was physical movement, but then suddenly my hands felt like they where moving through liquid and then I phased!     I am going to have to keep trying this out!  One of the main reasons I got into AP is because at night I would lay in bed and meditate and get to F10 without knowing it and I could feel my hands in strange positions I knew they where not in and I wanted to find out what was going on.

...you're just now having you psychic awakening?  And you've been at this how long already?  I don't see how it didn't kick in before. You really weren't expecting it?

Of course, I got lucky. Soon as I started having my first experiences my friends started bringing all manner of new-age paraphernalia over to my house expecting me to use it...they'd show up with cards, crystals, runes, ouija boards, just to experiment with me. "Let's see what else she can do..."

Get a deck of tarot cards and start tinkering around. After a while you can ditch the cards and go free-style.
:peace:

LOL ok maybe more of a prophetic awakening.  I have never had this happen before where I went AP, had something shown to me and then KNOWN it was going to happen in the marrow of my bones and then BAM it actually does.  I have had intuative impressions come true before or suddenly KNOWING something is going to happen right before it does.

Not to be one of those wierdo "vibrational density shift" type people but ive been having some strange feelings lately like something either with me or how I percieve reality is changing.  I dont know what it is...  I was sitting in my friends car today and I was feeling very strange like the car was really small or something and I couldnt put my finger on it.  Suddenly I felt like nothing was real and I reached out to touch the car and my friend was like "what the hell are you doing? you look all creepy."  and I just said "I dont know man, this doesnt seem real."   :confused:

amen to both of you.

Dude, if you wanna use DXM either A) make sure you only use products containing strictly DXM like Vicks 44 cough relief only or B) use a powdered pharmaceutical grade form which you can buy from test labs on the net.  If you go with option B use an electronic scale.  The lethal accepted dose is 2.2grams in most people but I have consumes upwards of 750 mg (about 5 bottles of vicks worth) and experienced what I refer to now as the 3D map of pain.  The experience started with my vision narrowing down to a tunnel about 2 inches around and the dulling of all physical senses followed by complete physical disassociation and being surrounded by a 3D geometric pattern which represented to me at the time my nervous system.  As the pattern changed colors from blue to green to red, the pain got worse.  I felt like every nerve ending in my body was on fire and I thought for sure I was going to die despite my knowledge and long term use of this product.  

This stuff isnt something to sneeze at and its not funny.

It pisses me off to no end when people mention using products like Robitussin because they contain ingredients in high amounts that will trigger effects like the feeling of needles in your eyes, insane vomiting and the like.  They are put there so you DONT use it for recreational purposes and you NEED TO DO YOUR RESEARCH or you will end up dead or in the hospital.  This is a relatively safe drug when used responsibly but if your a dumb butt about it the you can end up mentally damaged or dead easily.  

Please use responsibly because this is an unscheduled drug and the more people die from it and get in trouble for it the sooner it will be illegal.

I will get off my soap box now but this is something I am very passionate about.

Hey I was having a really vivid lucid dream yesterday morning in which I was walking along and suddenly everything went black and then I was standing in a big city and I heard a voice say "Tomorrow cities will be under water...."  and then a giant wave came and went over me and the buildings.  I wake up today and turn on the news and Houston and a bunch of places down south are covered in water!!!!!!!!!!!!         I tried to get on yesterday and post something about this but I kept getting error messages with wierd code mySQL errors and I couldnt get on here.  Is this the beginning of a psychic awakening?  I have been having more and more moments like this recently.

lol uhm I dont know if any of you consider music artwork but heres my myspace band page, I just broke into the top 100 unsigned death metal bands.  Enjoy... maybe...

http://www.myspace.com/tacostalented