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[Introduction]

Introduction
So I have been listening to "The Monroe Institute" (TMI) tapes for a week or so now and over that time some interesting and not so interesting things have been happening, not just during the time the tapes are playing but at other times as well. So I figured the best thing to do, rather than post in numerous different threads on the forums, is to start writing about the little events and realisations here in one consolidated thread with a view of later conslidating or distilling it further into a set of ideas, methods, concepts and other things to aid both myself and others on their path.

Rather than trying to remember all the little details about the other events and stuff that's happened, today I'll just concetrate on what has happened yesterday and last night. I've listened to each of the tapes, 1 per day with a day or two where I didn't listen at all because I was either too busy or too tired to do so. Yesterday, my girlfriend (who lives with me) was working the evening shift and so that allowed me to be completely alone in the apartment at a time when I was still not too tired and sleepy. I got everything all setup, dimmed the lights and all that and put on the tape.

14 September 2011
The guided experience went pretty much how it had in the other instances, except that this time I was really focused and clear. As I was walking myself towards the Focus-10 state, I could really feel my awareness growing like a bubble of nothingness around me. It's like, for most of the time, we are limited in our awareness to the extend of our physical bodies. Yes, we can sense things off in the distance, hear distant sounds, see distant objects, maybe even smell or taste things in the air (like when someone up the street is baking a cake).. but still all of those senses have the focal point of your body and/or head. Like a radar display, the centre is where we are and all the little blips are shown in relation to the centre. That is the physical awareness. However, now I was starting to perceive that my "centre" was growing larger. So instead of being a dot in the middle of the radar, it was now an increasing sphere of awareness.

Just as I was about to say "10" to myself to get myself from Focus 9 to 10, the voice of Monroe comes on and says "You are now in the 10 state".. totally scared me with the suddenness of his voice. Jolted me a bit and I did lose a bit of my focus from that. In any case, the tapes was still rolling and I followed the instructions on "rolling like a log in the water" and separating from my body. I couldn't really feel any separation or any feeling of motion when I was trying to turn without moving my physical body. However, I went along with it as a patterning exercise to train my mind that this is what I am wanting to do.

The tape tried to get me to fall asleep but I didn't, however what I did do was move into a deeper level of awareness, so after the tape had assumed I was sleeping I just lay there and enjoyed the feeling without any expectations or desires beyond enjoying the peace and calm. I began "noticing" little things.. sounds, sensations, visual stuff. In one instance I actually could see and almost feel a scene but it was like looking through a window and being stuck on one side of it, unable to get there. At one point I noticed that the blackness had become more 3D than normal and remembered my phasing so I tried to visualise the Astral Pulse Island as a target. I noticed it was a little dark and I "wished" there was more light. Suddenly a very visual orangey/yellow light came on in the upper left of my awareness, shining down on myself and the "room" around me.

I "noticed" the light and how real it seemed. It was more real than the imagined room around me, which was like a airport waiting lounge now that I think about it. I could "choose" to look out the windows but couldn't really see much outside. I chose to sit down and try to really feel the vinyl of the chair. The coolness of it, the smoothness of it, the texture of the red vinyl and so on. Again, nothing really happened.. but looking at the experience now, I can see that my awareness was definitely heightened and I could more easily perceive these things.

The next thing of significance was when I asked for assistance/guidance without trying to use any expectation of how the guidance should come. This is the instance of the scene I mentioned above. It was like I was laying in a bed with several people surrounding the bed. I can recall at least 2 of the people very clearly and recall that there was several, maybe even 5 or 6 people all around the bed. They were all happy and laughing but it was a good natured laugh like everyone was having a great time.

The bed was a raised, wooden frame with a single-size mattress covered with loose fitting burgundy sheets. I could see my legs and feet from my perspective but as I said before, it was like I couldn't quite get in to the vision as if it was shrouded by frosted glass. It was like they were all my friends, people I had known for a long time but I did not know them. Never seen their faces before in the physical world but there was a familiarity between us. It felt like they were all very happy that I had finally "come around" as if I had been in a long coma and was just now starting to wake up. As if they had been waiting for this moment and now it was happening, so everyone was happy and laughing.

Anyway, the scene faded away eventually and was left back in the state of complete relaxation. I tried the "rolling log" thing a couple more times. Nothing much happened and then I gently eased myself out of the Focus 10 state and back to Focus 1. I know that the tapes allow you to learn how to quickly switch between F1 and F10, then back again but I like coming out of these things slowly.

Recent Realisations
Just something general I have been noticing is that the more I am focusing on these subjects, the more I am meditating, the more I am trying for an OBE and to look within myself; the more I am starting to notice messages and ideas that are coming through to guide me. My abstract awareness of noticing the deeper meanings of events are starting to become more and more frequent. I also realise that while a F20+ (or F oC 2-3) experience (ie. an OBE) is certainly a holy grail experience.. it's not the only experience that is important. Learning to enjoy these states for what they are is just as important. Like when I was just laying there in a deep state of relaxation; nothing really was happening in the sense of OBE but it didn't matter because something WAS happening. I was in another state of awareness, my awareness had expanded to around a 3 metre (9ft) radius sphere and it felt both a little scary and good at the same time. That is just as valid an experience as having an OBE.

Another angle of attack is to use different senses to "notice". So if you're not having any luck with visual "noticing", just relaxing again and gently think about what noises you are hearing (noticing), for example a buzz, pop, crackle, voice, music etc; what things you are feeling in your body (noticing), for example a tingle, change in temperature, heaviness or weightlessness.. don't concentrate on the feelings or sounds or tastes, or smells.. just think, for example, "Oh.. that's interesting, my legs feel really heavy" or "oh.. that's weird.. what is that sound.." don't get too involved in the sound.. just "notice" it.. calmly and serenely observe it and if it starts to fade, allow it to fade or blow away like a cloud in a blue sky. Sometimes it's the "absence" of light, sound, feeling etc that you notice.. that is just as valid as something present.

It's true.. it could simply be a recalled memory from one of the many X-Files and other paranormal shows and movies.

At the same time, since it has inspired so much thought.. might as well do something with it.. which I have been. I'd like to be able to handle a situation like with less bone tingling fear.

Thanks for the link, it is still working.

Downloaded and then sent to my Kindle email address, converted perfectly and now I can access it on my Kindle

Yes, that's a very good point. Sleep therapists even suggest that all you ever do in bed is sleep (except for the other thing we do in bed with our partners). Everything else (such as watching tv, eating, studying etc etc) should not be done in bed so that your body and mind associates sleeping with going to bed. Obviously this is something that many people develop naturally but for those who suffer from insominia, it is something that may need to be taught.

In regards to AP'ing from the face-down position; there is no problem with doing that. I've had mini-OBes over the years even while on a massage table, face down being "pummelled" by the massage therapist.

While exploring my fear I still have a question that I can't quite answer.

Was it the voice.. the sinister sound of it, the whisper as if from something evil and dark that has caused me fear.. or was it the "It's too late for you" message that was said. As I think about it, it is more the voice that makes me shrink away from the memory.. and I wonder if it was said in a clear, non-threatening, completely benign voice.. whether I would have had the same reaction.

Still not sure how to go about addressing this fear.

Maybe they just are having some fun with you or they like egg coffee, or they knew you would like egg coffee.. hehe..

I've just now looked up "Fear of Damnation" but the definitions there all relate to the "Fear of Hell"... but that's not it at all. My fear is really about the fact that I may never be "allowed" to transcend. So after I die, I will be forced to stay in a "nothingness" or "void" state of awareness. Again, I know this is irrational but I am trying to come to grips with it, so I can expel the fear.

EDIT:
I think I just found it...

...it's the "Fear of Not Being Good Enough" (aka. Fear of Imperfection, aka. Atelophobia).

Now I have an angle of attack.

I guess sometimes, I just need to write it all out so I can read it back to myself and work through the problem.

Last night I actually ended up sleeping for 11 hours.. not sure why but I must have been extra tired. Anyway, during my very brief moments of recalled dream state there was one particular dream that I woke up from because it took me by surprise and scared the **** out of me. Putting into objective words, like writing it out now, makes it seem trivial compared to the fear I actually felt and I have rolled the idea around in my head for the whole day and still it is there.

Basically, I was observing some person in the dream who looked nothing at all like me, so I know it wasn't just a direct representation of myself. Just before I woke up, the person was basically looking at themself in the mirror and repeating, over and over, "Show yourself to me".. it seemed as if he was trying to attract the attention of his God to come and either take him away or to converse with him. I was standing behind the guy, seeing him from behind but also could see his front in the mirror.

Anyway, after a little while of him saying that there was a voice that whispered from right next to me, though I couldn't see where the voice came from because the entity did not show in the mirror and it was just slightly behind and to the right of my perceived location. It was a "sinister" sounding whisper that simply said "It's too late for you."

I am trying to work out if this message was for me, for the guy in the dream or just a irrelevant thing. It seems to be quite relevant because even now as I think about it, I get a physical tingling sensation running down my body. I woke up from the fear yes.. but what does it mean. The best I can think of is that my fear is manifesting itself in the dream. This fear relates to the things I have done and thought over the years making me impure and that now I have done "too many" bad things, it is "too late" for me to find redemption.

I'm not a bad person, I think my posts here show that.. but of course we all have subjective ways we perceive our actions as "sinful" or "bad". I won't go into specifics about those things are as they are personal to me but like I say.. it's the fear that I am some how "too far gone" and that nothing I can do now will allow me to transcend that state of sinfulness. The voice seems to suggest that I may have had a chance to do so at some previous time but now "It's too late for me".

Now, I know this is of course an irrational fear but I need help with this because it is something that is obviously very close to my heart and will be a barrier to prevent me from AP'ing. So I am wondering how I can "label" this fear so I can work on removing the fear. Is it a fear of damnation? Is that the best way to objectively describe it? That's what I am hoping someone here can help me to establish.. a label for the fear, that I can lock on to whenmeditating.. and explore it further before knocking it out.

Just use affirmations. As in "thought commands".. simple, concise affirmations of intent. "Calm", "Relax", "Aware"..

When you say "Clear you mind".. what are you really meaning.. to calm your mind, perhaps? to relax your thoughts? to detach from emotion? Think of the intent and then come up with a simple command word that embodies that intent and think it (or astrally say it), strongly and "loudly".

You've probably heard of the "Awareness 100%" affirmation where if you are having trouble seeing astrally, you can affirm "Awareness 100%" to get a better awareness.. it's the same thing.. thought=action/reality. Just keep it simple/concise, drilled down to the precise intent.

Yup yup.. good stuff.. I would think about your reaction to the bear a little more though. You dealt with the problem rather than just freaking out, yes.. but it was still an emotional reaction that could have been dealt with differently; that is, with passive curiousity. Not having a go at you.. just suggesting that it's something you could think about in more depth, to udnerstand the materialisation of the bear and to understand your reaction to it.

Might be a good first start to not spam people via email with your request. Didn't appreciate the email you sent me this morning. Not sure how many others you spammed with this.

Infact you've now forced me to hide my email address on my profile.

When I first RE-started my AP journey last month, I was very interested in F3.. aren't we all? And i've wavered between F2 and Fz myself a lot over the last month. It does seem to be a point of no return, the edge of the abyss.. or whatever you want to call it. However, over the last week or so, I've come to realise that I actually need to explore F2 a little first. I need to get to know myself in greater depth. I need to identify not just my fears but also my desires and dreams, fantasies and beliefs; then take those and "deal" with them in whatever way is most beneficial to my ongoing evolution. Once all of this is "in check", then I will allow myself to proceed further into a wider awareness.

I think that many people want to skip this step and go straight to F3 but I think that F2 is perhaps the most important part of the whole process.. at least that's what I think at this stage of my evolution. F2 is where you get to know yourself. F3 is where you get to know the wider reality in relation to yourself, how you are connected within it and so on. However, if you don't know yourself.. how can you really understand all of that and know the greater/wider truth of it.

"A state of internal discord"

Let's leave it at that... the rest of the sentence sounds a little paranoid.

Well the idea is that you should probably be meditating to work on your fears, identify them, know them, get over them etc BEFORE you go AP'ing.. if you are not truly and totally in control of those fears, you will find that they will manifest and then cause you to be scared and maybe add more fuel to the fire that prevents you from trying again.

When you scare yourself in physical, like if you fall off your bike, crash your car, burn yourself etc. Your mind "learns" from that "mistake" and creates neural pathways in an attempt to create preventative behaviours so it won't happen again. So if you were to scare yourself in AP, it's likely that pathways will be formed to create behaviour to disrupt future attempts.

So therefore, you should first work at removing all barriers and behaviours preventing you from AP'ing, including fear, until you can literally look fear in the face and shrug it off like it is nothing. That way, when something "weird", "unknown" or potentially "scary" thing happens.. and it will, you will be ready to "cope" with it and not feed the thing with your own fear which will then just make the fear stronger.

Think of it like a mirror. If you smile, the reflection will smile back at you but if you look angry, the reflection will look back at you angrily. Now think of the person in mirror as being a "real" and separate thing to yourself. If you look angry, the other thing looks angry or scary. Now you "react" to that anger/scariness with more fear and of course now the mirror reflects that increased anger/fear back at you and so on.. cycling out of control.

That's how the Astral and mental planes of existence work. Thought = reality/action.

Good to hear he is fine. It's times like this that we are reminded of our own mortality in these physical bodies and that we need to prepare for what comes after. 

[Identify the fear]

Going through the TMI Gateway series, the 4th tape is about releasing fear and absorbing the pure energy that is underlying the fear back into yourself. The 3 steps are basically:

1. Identify the fear - Release it and let it float away. This is JUST the "label" of the fear, as far as I understand it. So for example, "Fear of Spiders". That's it.. just the idea/concept of arachnophobia, not how it makes you feel, not the memory of seeing a spider.. just the concept "Fear of Spiders".
2. Feel the fear - Release it and let it float away. This is the actual feeling that you have when you think of the thing or idea that scares you. Using the same example, try to really feel how seeing or being close to a spider makes you feel, go beyond just the memory or sight of a spider and really feel the emotion and then visualise the emotion floating away.
3. See the memory - See it objectively for what it is, free of emotion and fear and then absorb that into yourself. Using the same example again, you might think of an actual spider in a web, or just a spider crawling on the wall or floor near you. Study the spider, let curiousity to observe the spider allow you to explore it but objectively and without emotion. Then visualise that entering in to you.

I have read about similar cleansing techniques and they all tend to follow this same process.

Yes, the first two are pretty easy to get through.. no problems at all. The 3rd, with the introduction of the Energy Bubble, did give me some trouble as I couldn't get it quite right. I was constantly re-examining what I was doing.. should I be visualising it from a displaced point of view, or from a point of view of looking through my eyes and sensing the parts I wouldn't be able to see or should I be doing both. It's not a big deal, I'm sure, but it's an observation I made when I was going through the tape: that I was constantly realigning my awareness, making it difficult to hold on to the visualisation.

I don't see how being pulled out would be of benefit anyway... it doesn't really help you to repeat the experience.. doesn't help you understand the mechanisms needed etc.. just a short-cut to a "one off" experience.. Like if you go on a airplane.. you can fly to your destination but you don't learn how to fly the plane yourself.. you're just a passenger.

I went on to Tape 4 last night and found that it had lifted the level of "assumption" much higher than I anticipated. While I have little trouble with the box, the resonant tuning, the energy bubble and getting to Focus 10.. it was the fact that I was unable to remember the full "affirmation" (ie. "I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter" and so on) that had me wondering if I'd gone too fast through the tapes. However, the third tape doesn't do the affirmation at all.. then suddenly in the 4th you have to remember it all yourself. Not that it is such a big deal I guess.. I knew the general concepts surrounding the affirmation and just made up my own to suit those concepts but it would be much better if it was the same because of consistency. So what I might do is go back to Tape 1 and 2.. do both again. From what I know, Frank Kepple used to do them 3 or 4 times a day for each tape before moving on to the next one.. at least this is how I understood what he was saying. Maybe I need to write the affirmation out a few times, so I can remember it via visualising the paper I wrote it on.. I don't know..

I'll definitely be redoing the 4th tape though, not just because of the above but also because of the technique/method presented in the 4th. I really didn't understand what I was supposed to be doing. I tried my best but now that I have had some time to think about it, I think I know what is needed and understand it a bit more. So I will try again.. I think it is a very important step because when having OBEs, you need to remain unemotional and without fear or other strong feelings.. you need to reach a point where you can deal with ANY situation with a serene and curious mind.. just an observer etc

Yer.. that's the state I tend to be able to get to quite readily.. one thing I notice is that as my awareness grows wider, I feel myself "falling" and I bring myself out of that.. not because of the fear of falling.. just that my mind focuses somewhere else and then I lose that sensation and I am back to being in Focus 10. It's like I am teetering on the edge of Focus 10 and Focus 12.. and just as I am about to slip into Focus 12, I "accidentally" cause myself to return to Focus 10. Going through the Gateway CDs now, so I am hoping there is a technique in there to get over this little hurdle.

Remember also that F10 is simply BodyAsleep/MindAwake state.. so you should still be fully aware of all your surroundings, including your body (though since its "asleep" you probably won't feel all that much).. When I first did Tape 2, I was thinking of F10 as a non-physical state but really it isn't.. it's just a step towards that.. I really need to get rid of my expectations when I do these, so I share that realisation with you. As I was getting to the end of Tape 3, today, I felt I didn't want to stop here.. I wanted to keep going further.. but then I reminded myself that this is a process and these tapes at the beginning are setting me up for the rest.. installing the programs I need to run the more exciting programs

Is binaural different to Hemi-sync?

It's just that I was listening to Hemi-sync tones the other day and it was a different experience to the Binaural track..

The hemi-sync just has two tones, one 100hz, the other 104hz and then the brain creates the 4hz difference..

Just trying to understand.

LoL  You can always just not buy it. 

I know.. I just wanted to give some feedback is all

Yer it's a Kindle 3, so it does support PDFs.. if I had the PDFs, I'd probably convert them to the MOBI format that, so that I can adjust the font size etc.