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This is late. But I'm gonna post anyway..

But the question is, who am I? Am I the self that is typing right here, or am I really more than this?

I was thinking of the higher self as the real self, or actual self. However I realise that playing with terminology just add confusion.

The way I see it, we were just an interface, or probe on the plane we are living now which is the physical plane, or maybe astral too. And the Higher self/real self/actual self/self as the operator. Or using a gaming anology we're just gamers, totally immerse in the game of life. We are pretty sure that we are the character in the physical plane, forgetting that we're just playing game until some outside or inside event shock us out of our false sense of reality. Most of us are too absorbed in our own drama and those that realise are seen as different. Which is not helped by the fact that they also feel a little different. Out of loop or out of majority.

I'm rambling...
Hope this make sense and coherent  to you (and me).

I don't really care much about apathy.

I've done this, sometime rope, sometime stairs. At one time I practically uses my index finger to crawl, lying on my back.

But getting out through the wall is not really what I had in mind right now.

Looking at my palm lines really helps. The lines looks weird and the right hand are so much different than the other.

Stretching this too far, or too long, my hand then becomes like two wood piece when viewed. Very strange...

I don't actually understand your post Psypunk. (do you agree with this statement?)

However, I respectfully agree with whatever you say, or trying to say.

Is there anything such as astral grave? Seems contradictory.

James, you're so right about the joy in simple thing. Watching the sunrise, clouds in the sky, starry night sky, strolling by the sea, the beauty of nature, and the joy on a kids face who gets a chocolate-chip  ice-cream is priceless. Rain gives me a mixture of emotion, kinda happy but with a tincture of longing. Of course if you have a plan and it's ruin, your mood might be adversely affected.

However, when we come back to hustle and bustle of daily living, it's very easy to forget all this.

Jouni, I think I'm not actually trying to do too much at the moment. I just realised that I'm actually worrying too much rather than doing too much. Or maybe the problem of letting go of the thing after you've done everything you can. Why is it so hard to do? The Ultimate Worrier in me beg an answer.

I'm actually overwhelms by the prospect of meditation. Some say to do it this way, othere said it is the other way around. Which way to go? Am I overcomplicating things? Do you just quite down your thought and think of nothing in particular? It sounds much harder to do than projection.

Timeless,

Bear with me please, it's quite hard to organise my thought about this. That's why it tooks so long to post this up.

I don't really know the actual cause but I get the feeling that maybe this is related to the feeling of not reaching my full potential. There is so much more that you can become. When I look upon my life, I was depressed, why have I done that, why haven't I done this? I've always look forward for the future, planning and figuring where and what to improve. But now it doesn't matter much to me. Let whatever happen.  I'm no longer excited or cared about the prospect. In the past 6 or 7 year, I've changed, in some way for the better but also worse. It's like taking 180 degree turn. I don't feel the desire to improve as much now as it was then, and it scares me. I'm always of the opinion it's better to get your head in the cloud than to stuck in a rut. Also I need to know the meaning of my life and what good it can bring.

Your point number 1,2 and 3 is true to a certain degree. I do feel that I can make with more challenge right now, but it should be some challenge that I'm interested in, or believe in. What worse is that the challenge that I'm facing now is now on the stage that there is nothing I can do, beside praying as the verdict is now on the jury , or other people. I hope they're faster, so much time has been wasted and there really is something else I'd rather do right now.

In my life, there are certain people stressed, or in an unhappy situation and i would really like to do something about it, but there is not much I can do directly right now. In a few month times, maybe. I just want them to be happy, and more importantly help them in a way that I can.

You're right about missing up people, friend and the fun back then. They were much closer to me back then. Some still are but not many. At that time I was the kind of person that people come over when they have problem. Whether it's schoolwork, or they really want to tell about the cool guy/girl that they've recently met or other thing. I'm usually the first person they would tell about their new girlfriend[8D]. I was Mr. Positive after all. I'm not really optimistic by nature, but I used to work really hard to be one.

Whew, this post is so full of me. This can't be good.[]

When I was young, I was napping at my grandparents house (actualy it's my mum's grandparents house).

It was not very long that I fall asleep. Actually I don't really fall asleep but I get paralysed. In the same moment I have a strange dream (at that time and until 5-6 years after that, I don't have any idea what an OBE is, much less try to induce one). In that dream I was walking around the house. What makes this dream extra special is that I can't actually see my body, and everything around me gives off a beautiful and strange golden glow. I've nevere seen anything like this. While walking I was like, wow look at that. At that time I was trying to wake up from that 'dream'. My conciousness was actually split into two. I'm viewing from my 'dream' and also struggling to wake up. What intersting is that my family saw me struggling and they think I'm having a dream or nightmare but noone really think of waking me up.

Now I remember that I have many time 'dreamed' of walking around the house, climbing my double storey bed but they were all during nightime and dark and nothing compares to the vibrant color during the day. "Hallmark Style"

I can't hardly wait.

(shivering in excitement, and anticipation...)

Maybe they're an aspect of you.

BTW, you might like to read Robert's view on guide. Need to do some searching though...

I can't tell you if it's real or not. But sensing presence while projecting is quite common actually. How do you know it's a neg? Not to dismiss the existance of neg but Astral projection is very tricky. Getting out is the easy part. Handling the experience is much more harder. Taking into account the fact that your perception largely depends on your ecpectation and your inside is on the outside there can be many explanation of the experience. You might like to check the Astral Conciousness forums, there is a post while back on presence on the onset of projection. There, I've found it.

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3804

I have many time experience this stuff. Sometime I see people in my room, sometime I heard strange noise, being pulled out of the body and so on. I freak out big time. Still haven't got much control of my emotion in the astral. But when I question myself why I am afraid, the fear subside. Projecting your own fear outside can make the situation much more fearful. When sensing an entity, you need to make sure that it is not actually your fear projection you are sensing. Even SP episode were much worse. I am definitely awake when it happen. But still I can't pinpoint for sure if it's a neg or what. Maybe I'm just clueless.

I guess the only thing to know if its real is if you really met her. If it's real and you don't met her then who can say it's real.[]

Again, I'm not really saying that what you see/hear is not a neg, it maybe. Only you can tell fo sure.

I have to agree that college is full of negs, physical and non-physical.[]
 

This happen last Saturday.

It was raining outside. I'm a little tired from waking early today. So I decide to lay down and do yoga nidra. The thunder was wild so I decide to shut down my comp just lay down and relax. My hand were both under the pillow. Then a gentle, full body vibration come over me. I decide not to do anything this time and just lay there bathing in the pleasant sensation. I was enjoying it immensely when gradually and very slowly I lose sensation of my physical and my body float on it's own accord. Still I do nothing. I thought I was going to the 3D blackness that people are talking about but actually I can see that I'm in my room in a very unusual position. My vision come very gradually. My vision is like looking from something transparent. Maybe because lack of any purpose or destination my body gradually float down into my physical.

I get the vibration  back. Like before I just decide to enjoy it. Then something interesting happens. I feel two hands are holding my hand, which is supporting my head. I was also not calling for help or anything. Heck, I don't even try to project. A bit surprised at first but I decide to go with the flow this time. The hand  slowly and gently rotate my non-physical body. I wonder why but I just let it do what it's goingto do. I feel like I'm seeing through closed eyelids but my vision were a little strange. It looks like I'm seeing fom something transparent but this time there is some small 2D opaque debris (I don't know how to explain it better) in my transparent layer.  Right now I realise that I'm seeing from 180 degree from my actual position (from my leg position). So this hand then slowly pulling me away backward (it was like when somebody were teaching you to swim). I was moving back and I feel my lower body elongate. I'm definitely free this time but I stay passive. This experience end by my focus coming back to he physical.

At that time I don't really realise why the hand pull me backward but right now I figure that maybe because  I'm lying on my bed with my head was near the wall (although physical wall can't really block you). It is interesting to note that there is no effort whatsoever.

I don't know what to believe...

Thank you all for your kind reply.

I'll try my best.

I was thiking about inner peace in your day to day life and not just momentary bliss. The one like when you feel that you're in harmony of everything and everything clicked correctly. You feel whole. Well, this does not necessarily mean that there is no problem in your life but you can handle them much better and not cracking etc...

When I was in high school I was much more positive than now (unlike many people [|)] ). I was much more content and serene. Now  at my happiest moment, the happiness seem not as deep, barely scathing the surface. It feel unreal. If it helps, I've felt much closer to God then and I felt more of God's influence on me then. I also feel much more purposeful then. Right now I just live.

There are time I feel not worthy of living that I contemplate on ending it all. I feel , so this is it, let see what we got then...
I was searching the net for the easiest way to do 'it'. But luckily I found out that there are many failed and messy cases so I don't.  

I have to admit that I don't really meditate and the closest thing would be Astral Projection. I've bee a little confuse about meditation as there is so many way. Any recommandation would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Sorry if it was a little negative.

Chocolate is inner peace, but so do ice-cream.[]

Goingslow,

I was disappointed not so much that he has oriental feature as that his feature is very normal like he's just a supporting cast in a movie. I was thinking (naively) about someone who look likes Merlin or something heheh. This sound kinda stupid and shallow right now...

I don't think he is someone that I've met in life, yet. Also I cannot see at this moment how he'll have any conection with that choice thing.

Asinine what?[:O]

Alig,

Ask and be open to receive is a very good advice but I have asked, receive and then freak out (much to my chagrin afterward). My exp.  does feel like being lifted like a child too.

Also Links Shadow, it might help if you try to get in contact with them in lucid dream first, just not to be so overwhelmed.

Links Shadow,

You're implying the 2'nd exp, I presume?

Well, actually I don't know if it's really the case but what you said is somewhat true at that time. I did make a poor decision and I did become excluded (by my own doing) from people that I know.

I was having an argument with someone  in my life. I avoided her for a long time, thinking that she hates me and feeling remorse. At the time we're seperated, I keep dreaming about her and vice versa. But that was a dream and I think in the projection it is seperate matter but who can really tell?

Pre OBE symptom were quite normal. I've felt pinches, pokes and prods sometime while inducing OBE.

The one that really throw me offguard is the time I ask for assistance. And the assistance come in form of two hand pulling me out. That was as far I go as I was very startled by this. As soon as I become afraid, the hand let go off me spontatentenously.

Now I think that I should've gone with the full experience.

This is not directly about Kundalini but you might want to take a peek.

http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/kfranzen/about.htm
http://www.healingtaousa.com/
http://www.healingdao.com/cgi-bin/tpost.pl

I read some comment that says most of the danger of "kundalini awakening" (and I use this this term loosely) can be alleviated by first practising Microcosmic Orbit.

quote:Originally posted by Tom

Actually, I live uphill from McDonalds. My job is down by the river and McDonalds is on my way home. After ascending to McDonalds I will ascend to my apartment. Unfortunately on Sunday it will be necessary to come back to work. The lessons learned in ascending must be applied in the lower planes.

LOL.
So,your office is on the lower plane huh?[][].
(Sorry, can't pass that up)

quote:Originally posted by timeless

Dear Peaceful Warrior,
Some say that our male female duality are even reflected in our bone structure.  We have a femur (one bone at the top representing higher self or non-duality) and then the two bones below that join at the knee.  Of the two bones one is more prominant and stronger than the other. This stronger bone representing our main aspect (in my case female side) and then the smaller bone is my masculine side (your femanine side).  Then we reach the foot (or hand) and there is a multitude of aspects to the personality.  I found this analogy to the body an interesting one.  

Interesting. Where can I find info about this?

Thanks.

quote:Originally posted by Frank


The Training Ground, as I used to call it, is basically Monroe's Focus 22 state. People who are lucid-dreaming are in this state also. Only their realisation-capacity is very much reduced.  

This mean that when your lucid-dreaming you'll be able to AP easily. what I always do is get back to my body from LD and try projecting from there. The advantage is I'm really relaxed. Ther are time however that when I realise that I'm dreaming, the environment just phase or shift with special effect to other environment. How valid do you think both experience? You advise going back to your body if I understand correctly?

quote:A technique I find very effective is, every now and again, I'll come to a complete halt, focus on some detail or other and ask myself a simple question about it. What this serves to prevent is a situation where you begin getting excited. Getting excited has the effect of making you think and move too quickly. So you start flitting here, there and everywhere and your progress is stunted.

Once in a projection I realise that I'm fooling around too much, running around and doing other stupid thing then I decide to stop. I pick up a leaf from some bushes then as i try to see them, the the environment changed a little bit then I was pull backward by a force from behind me.

quote:This effect is prevalent in accounts of people's early experiences. They tend to follow along the lines of: suddenly I realise I was dreaming; and then I found myself [at some place or other]; and there was this [some kind of event]; and then I saw [some other event]; and then suddenly I was [transported to some other scene]; but before I knew it the thing had changed [to yet another scene]; and then it became [whatever]; and next moment I was awake.

That describe some of my experience I afraid.

quote:
The other pitfall to avoid, is making snap-judgements as to whatever comes about.

A more productive way of dealing with these situations is, rather than making a snap-judgement, take a step back from the situation and ask for more clarity. Always bear in mind the fact that Thought = Direct Action can just as easily work for you as well as against.

A trivial question, you just ask for clarity. Is that it? And no need for other fancy thing such as... begging for clarity? [B)]

quote:Ultimately, the way to experiencing the "real deal" is to work on developing your sense of conscious awareness at least to the same level of acuity, or perception as you have while awake and alert within the Physical. This is the key to making good progress; along with the ability to remain emotionally neutral or emotionally closed, as I call it; and all the while maintaining an air of mild curiosity.

Sometime I'm a tad clueless on the astral. My mind becomevery simple at time. It's like a case of Astral Intelligence vs Astral Stupidity.

quote:The great thing is, developing the requisite degree of emotional control is something a person can practice while Physical. This is because the sense of conscious awareness we take with us to the Astral, is the same as what we have while Physical. In my estimation, however, it is significantly harder to remain emotionally neutral within the Astral, as it is within the Physical.
So a person who has mild difficulties controlling their emotional-state while Physical, will tend to have serious difficulties within the Astral which could take significant time to overcome. But someone who can easily keep their emotions in check while Physical, chances are, will have only fairly mild difficulties within the Astral, which will be quickly overcome.

I hope that does not explain the astral stupidity.. I'm not, really.
It's also true that my feeling are intensified somewhat in the astral. Now I'm emotional..

Also, a quick question. Why is the building in the Astral so long? Or I'm in the training ground?

Thanks, Frank for your reply.

Lucid dreaming, OBE and AP are the same thing but with a different state of awareness.

Basically Monroe label Focus 22 as lucid dreaming.

My thought is, you can be projecting or OBEing while at the same time having a dream. Kinda like daydreaming, in the astral.