Messages

[as if going through the painful lessons is somehow WRONG.]

i have to speak with what i'm currently working with, which i mentioned earlier as the channeling thing from the so-called cassiopaean's. although they point out they are more a unified field of consciousness coming from the 6th density. a far of cosmopolitan race of "others" that are riding some gravity wave towards earth as we speak...approximate arrival time 2012. it is there hope that as many people are prepared for the shift into 4th density as possible. i still haven't decided if it's information or disinformation yet. i would mention being cautious of channeled information, but Adrian already addressed that concern. i've only just begun reading and there's realms of writing on the site...so i'm not pushing anyone to visit (only SEEKER as i feel it would be of benefit to him at this time). they speak of us as a "fallen" race under reptile rule. i'm not saying i'm in total agreement with this, but their explanations are extremely insightful. every single human living on earth is programmed to miss the mark. they refer not to good and evil, but STS & STO...
service-to-self & service-to-others. there's no way i could sum it up in a post, but they say as long as we are in 3rd density we are purely STS animals, and then they go into to why overflowing buckets of love & light are not the answer. that only when another asks for help can we be in service-to-others...otherwise everything is STS, and i can't see much of an argument there. of course it could be disinformation and telling everyone not to bother loving their neighbor, etc, etc. but i don't see humans being able to control that nature, and in a round about sense neither do they...but they stress over and over again that all there is is lessons. as long as you're constantly striving to learn, and your not instead avoiding the lessons...then it doesn't matter how anyone does it. all part of the collective consciousness and no two lessons are exactly the same.

i have a feeling that if this "wave" they speak of is approaching that many things will change. you won't have to spend decades attaining enlightenment...they say it will come like a subatomic blast. people will start "waking" up instantaneously...and notice they didn't say "like a nice warm breeze". i have a feeling that people will have to work through their issues all at once...and that can be extremely painful. so i guess the more one has applied them-self to enlightenment the less painful it'll be, but only a fraction less than others who are ignorant...and to make Seekers point (if i may)(on the other hand) that for some who have done a lot of work in the whole light and love realm...it could actually be more painful than the rest...if it is in fact a way of delving deeper into the programming, and away from the truth. digging deeper into service-to-self, rather than remaining somewhat neutral in it all. WHO KNOWS?!? NONE OF US...and that's a very scary thought.

all there is is lessons...and since we are in the physical. we chose to come here in the physical...i can see Seekers point in that it would logically seem that the lessons themselves would be of a more physical nature. eg: day to day life. i think a subtle point that is made over and over again at cass---.org is that our need to search for things beyond us...is what is holding us back. a catch 22 they say...and what are we suppose to do about that?!? i haven't read that far yet.

Dearest Seeker, do not expect others to be open to these ideas. this is a very difficult thing for most to do...turn around and look at where you are coming from...why should they? it is much easier for you to get with the "program"!

follow your feelings
seek & you shall find
and give me your perspective on "the meek inheriting the earth".
love & light  
333

i'm always curious about the whole taboo spirit/ouija board thing. esp. from those that travel the astral. there seems to be a lot of talk at discrediting those with neg attacks as if they are doing something wrong, or need more work on themselves spiritually, as if going through the painful lessons is somehow WRONG. but then there is a great amount of energy used to enforce the REAL dangers of negs coming through a piece of wood with letter & numbers on it. not that i really believe that negative is the best word, nor evil...i'm not sure what to call it. "interfering souls" maybe?!? feeders definitely. and these can come through anytime, anywhere. JUST DON'T ASK QUESTIONS YOU DON'T WANT THE ANSWER TO, DON'T GO INTO UNCHARTED TERRITORY, AND DON'T INVITE ANYTHING IN EVER.

dear Adrian,

how nice to hear from you. don't get the pleasure often. i had thought i made it fairly clear that it shouldn't be taken as truth, just information. as this forum itself should also be viewed...all information actually. i guess i shouldn't give people the benefit of the doubt where these terrible, dangerous things are concerned. that was thoughtless of me...i guess.

still confused with the first section of the post you felt necessary to edit. i was sure that the program edited out profanity?!? since you took the time to "correct" it...actually to delete it...maybe you would also take the time to point out what part exactly was rule breaking?!?

sincerely 333

actually i've read through the AUP once again, and edit the deleted portion of my post, and will attempt to post it again here.

hey sweetie...haven't talked in a while. didn't read through the entire thread, but i think i sense what you're after. there is depth to the question that shows you are well balanced...you don't need another distraction, or something else that sucks up your time and energy as another means of inflating your ego, etc. it is true that a lot of people are picking it up for this reason. the "new age" fluffy trend that puts them in some "special" standing. i see people drinking bottled water and i get the same sick knot in my stomach...that they actually believe that will cut the mustard (sotospeak). that they're making some contribution, and doing yoga, or meditating, and buying organic is suppose to make up for all the other lazy and selfish areas in their life. there is something to pushing your own envelope, pushing on the walls of this limited existence...that could very well be a trance of some sort, but yes you have to remain vigil and constantly aware of falling into another trap in the process of getting out of the one you're in. they're all built so very close together for a reason!

i am assuming that you felt it was in some way abusive to the general group of sudo-spiritualists, but since i don't feel that we have any of those here...i thought i was within my LIMITS. i know that all people are part of some prospective market for spirituality, but since i'm not selling anything to these people i don't have a fear of offending them. i don't think it's a new or radical view-point to say there are a lot of people in this world that think they are special because they subscribe to a certain pattern of beliefs. (lazy, self-absorbed, self-righteous are not new concepts to AP)
(i don't think)
i don't even think most people here take me seriously anyway...
but feel free to delete this section again if it still doesn't suit you. i won't bother with it from this point on. promise.

okay i really am stopping this time (i'm almost positive)

hate to use the poor girl again as an example but...

If it harms no living thing, it's okay; if it brings pleasure to other living beings, then it's even better!

THAT'S ONLY 1/2 RIGHT.
harm no living thing means you're not playing to either side, but...bringing "pleasure" makes is it BETTER??? sorry...that makes it selfish. who are really pleasing??? you have absolutely no idea how the horse feels. you can assume bcuz you may like being brushed that the horse enjoys it as well, but you don't know this to be fact. not only are you transferring what you "believe" onto the horse, but you are doing it bcuz it brings you a sense of pleasure...nothing more! kinda of double negative in a weird, twisted sense.

i know i'll get some feedback on all this!!!
should be interesting
333

now i'm reading the thread backwards!  i'm stopping with this one quote, bcuz otherwise i fear that i'll just keep picking through and throwing my comments around out of order...and i have other things going on at this moment.

but...

My rules again: it harms nothing and brings pleasure -- therefore it's on the "good" side of the ledger.

and please forgive me for using this as an example...it should in no way be taken PERSONALLY.

this is the sort of comment that i believe you were referring to in a sense. i feel a certain connection to your posts (more than most) and i take that as a sign that our energy is fairly similar. and reading between the lines is not so much a bad habit, as it is a sense of logic. it's funny that greatoutdoors uses the word "selfish" in reference to the birds, but then follows up with the comment above without acknowledging the same. we are all here chirping away, but more than that even...is the selfish idea of "pleasure". ("my rules" aside). it's all very silly actually, but if you read it over a few times it becomes less and less of a joke, bcuz you being to see how FIRMLY stuck people are in their heads. i actually urge you know to take some time to read over the info at cassiopeia.org. i think it might be what you're looking for. another perspective. again i'm not pushing any truth in it, but it definitely speaks for itself. i just finished reading about their perspective on love, and how loving something is (in a 6th density perspective) completely selfish.
that is something people will argue about forever.

333
see ya around pilgrim
and it's not empty "space" it's intelligent matter.

i've been hanging out at cassiopeia.org and reading a lot of channeled material. too much to sum up here, but you might find it interesting.

there was one thing that i found interesting that i was reading last night in reference to your question. the woman laura that does the channeling is always seeking the secrets to enlightenment (to skip steps), but the ones coming through won't give those answers. they used the analogy referring to the shift between 3rd and 4th density. they asked her where one goes after they finish 3rd grade. she answered 4th. they asked her if it was necessary for the person to know all about 4th grade in order to move up. she said no that you only have to finish all the lessons of 3rd grade to move up to 4th. they said...correct! you only have to finish your lessons HERE! of course all information should be taken with a grain of salt, but sometimes i also wonder if it's as spiritual as people make it out to be?!? that is isn't just a way of escaping and skipping 3rd density lessons.

333

none of us are gifted...bcuz we all are the same. everyone is going to start seeing more and more sh*t that they couldn't sense before, and why mince/mix words...they can all be twisted around to mean whatever you want. crazy really means not "fitting" in. and sensitive, gifted, etc, etc, all fall under that category. crazy is what people will call you when it touches something in them self they don't want to look at. crazy is how people feel when they try to express them self and no one takes the time to comprehend something outside of themselves, and instead of twisting the words around you have to twist yourself around, and do a bunch of sick tricks to fit into their idea of they think is suppose to be going on. something like that.

333

or you could talk about something that makes you're head sound less airy?!?
jokes!

curious "sellerofpurple"...what kind of experience do you bring to the table  
333

i love that!  you're learning to break thought patterns. it's funny you don't want to do it at first..."thinking" you're in your physical body. as Morpheus would say..."you think that's air you're breathing now?!?"
333

i will do what i can of course!

i lean towards the idea that people manifest dis-eases & illness that in a round about way are beneficial to their thinking/needs. however cancer always seems more complex. i have known a few people with cancer and i never know how to approach them. i want to offer them advice and direction towards powerful, alternatives approaches that work...but there's something always so resolved about their energy. i guess bcuz it's really scary and doctors are seen as the experts. "we're cutting something out, exposing you to gross amounts of radiation, all you're hair will fall our, you'll get very sick, we have to start immediately!" they scare the excrement of people and the people panic and say... "can we start now?" i have the same anger when doctors tell people they have three months to live, but i won't go there.

there is an extremely interesting site called curezone.com. if anyone is into alternative/preventative health...visit!!! hulda clark is renown for curing cancer and her entire basis of work is that parasites cause all illness (the toxins they release actually). you can't expect someone that is going through the allopathic remedy to have the energy to think alternatively...but i assume it changes your perspective even in the aftermath. that she will be interested in prevention when her operation is over. maybe you and your mom could pitch in on hulda's book as a gift.

just ideas
as i said i will help in anyway i can
333

they either only attack me at night/didn't matter if i was home/friends/hotel/etc. or when i tried to catch up on sleep during the day and was in a subconscious state. when i was working or out...my mind was too occupied. this of course leads straight to exhaustion! if you keep yourself so busy that you wear yourself out. another round about way they get you. it's a very covert/intense/stress-like chess game. also use a lot of military psy-tactics.

YES...spend as much time as you can in the grass, barefoot. the earth is absolutely grounding NEUTRAL/HEALING!!! spend as much time as you can in EARTH/WATER/SUNSHINE!!! EVEN RAIN! ANYTHING THAT ISN'T STAGNANT!

WE'RE HERE FOR YOU
BLESSINGS & POWER
333

i am sending what energy i can afford your way. i know it's scary. i know that "breakdown" that is inevitable...it just keeps wearing you down and that's part of their job. all in all i want you to understand...I WANT YOU TO KNOW, that they CANNOT hurt you physically. as i said before...they can bash your brains into soup by screwing with your unconscious mind, implanting thoughts, voices, triggers, etc...
THEY CAN ONLY MAKE YOU HURT YOURSELF & that's what you're going to work on NOT DOING>
i know that cycling this junk over and over again in your mind will make you go nuts. i would try in a round about way to ask people in your family if they are also experiencing the same thing. i know this isn't something that most people would just come out and say, and you want to be very clever about it, bcuz the LAST thing you need is your family thinking you're wacko. that won't help, and you don't want them putting you on drugs either (it's sad that that's the best a lot of parents can come up with to help). its my personal opinion that the anti-depressants and anti-hyper drugs that are being prescribed like candy...is part of a grand conspiracy by the "illuminati". i don't want to get into that here, but i think its in place to keep the kids dazed enough that the work can continued without their awareness. meaning yes the drugs would help to cancel it out of your mind, but it's a zombie state...where it hasn't really stopped. you're just LESS AWARE. so...hopefully you have brothers or sisters to ask. it would be nice if you had direct support in this. if you can't do that, know that there are MANY people here and there that are going through the exact same thing...and more all the time.

i don't want to dishearten you, but NOTHING i have ever tried has worked. med's, preying, begging, religious tools, cleansing, occult rituals, moving my butt all over the country. nothing! i can surround myself with light, light balls, light swords, walls, shields...nothing works. you are looking in a good direction though...because although you can now sense these things in the physical world...they are not physical, they do not exist on the level that you yourself can work on...even astrally. this however works both ways!!! YOU CAN'T HURT THEM...THEY CAN'T HURT YOU. so the best thing you can do for now is try and NOT REACT. ENGAGE in your LIFE!!! force yourself to do things that you really truly enjoy in your heart. and this is where i'll sound like a hypocrite (but i wanted you to understand the severity of the problem first, before you went this route) it has a lot to do with INTENT. dance, sing, play games, help children, cook, clean, organize, run...do whatever you have to do to keep your mind occupied. this won't stop the attacks, but it will keep you from going crazy, and you will find that it may get harder and harder to do these things. but force yourself. if you're parents are open minded...tell them what is going on. if they're not...find friends that are truly supportive and non-judgmental. (note: as there are a growing number of people under attack, on the other side...there is also a growing number of (kids especially) that are being drawn to the darker side...it might seem hip, cool, trendy...but you want to stay away from these people...like psy-vampires, goths, etc. you don't need any more excrement draining your energy!!!)
also the last thing you need is a bunch of people trying to figure this out for you. they can't understand and will give it more attention than it deserves. causing you to have to think about it more. one good friend that you have always trusted is worth everything!

i don't know where you live, but mugwort grows wild most places. you need to get some and hang it in your room, stuff it in your pillow, even make a little sachet and carry it with you. this is something i just started doing and although it's only been a week or so...i have had NO attacks in that time. i can send you some if you'd like, but you can get it anywhere. also get yourself some hematite...a necklace preferably if they seem to be attacking there. it's cheap as far as stones go. you can also keep yourself busy researching protective stuff...plants, stones, symbols, etc. try a bead shop where you can pick out the beads you're drawn to and make your own jewelery. some gift shops or discovery type stores should have bags of stones you can mix and match.

keep me posted. i am truly concerned about you.
feel free to PM also
333

i will stop pushing my perspective. i would also be interested in the reply to toms question. i understand if you don't want to bother replying to the rest of the posts, but tom has a good point about 'the endless/unlimited universal supply'. if one is unable to tap into the source for the energy needed, but is capable of sucking it off others...i don't understand getting caught up in the romance of the "cult"-ure. seems that one would want to put what energy they did have into reconnecting and fixing the blockages or holes. instead of being DEPENDENT on a temporary fix. where's the power in that?

in that sense you have be to able to understand why most will have a tendency to find fault, see the operation in the negative, junkie, parasitic, etc. it's kind of like sneaking into someone else's garden and stealing their goods. and justifying it with "i was hungry".
333

FOR FEMMSTARR: http://www.erowid.org/plants/calea_zacatechichi/calea_zacatechichi.shtml

you know me an' erowid.

[Thanks Scorpyn]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhah...i can't seem to let it go. strange!?!

Thanks Scorpyn for the simple & intuitive insight. yeah 30 yrs. should make me somewhat knowledgeable on the subject. my frustration with the energy of this thread doesn't have anything to do with demons or neg's. it has to do with the mentality of the posers opps...posters.
i suppose nay might have a point about being careful of how i might influence people, Wronski Feint in particular who seems oblivious to the conditioned mind. (no the thoughts in your head are not your own).

But now that you mention it, im sure some mentally ill people are weak against neg attacks. Then again, im not a doctor so I dont know exactly what mentally ill people are truely capable of.

everyone has weaknesses darlin'. and as far as doctors are concerned they know absolutely nothing outside their textbooks...although i'm sure like you...they think they understand it all.

Disrespectful? Im not sure exactly what you meant by that

I KNOW.

Well the worlds in which we live and the spiritual/astral worlds work on rules. They have to obey rules, so do i.

what rules???
like gravity? time? life and death? those are only theories.

I have had experince with this.

would you consider sharing your experiences? it would help me for one...put things in perspective on where you're coming from. i really would like to understand and relate to the "mooning" thing. did that actually work for you?

Ah, my favorite example, air. I know air exist, i know god exist but I can not see them. Who do you think youre talking to? You dont have to tell me to open my eyes to see what is truly around us. But if you keep staring at the giant picture, you miss out on the details of life.

i'm not talking about air and god...i'm talking about things you couldn't even imagine...both in the large scale and the details, but i don't want to scare anyone or give y'all nightmares. god forbid.

The problem is we are so opinionated that we tend to aruge alot, and that causes hatred. So I just want you to know that I hold nothing against you and you are perfictally titled to your opinion.

i'm probably the most open-minded person you could ever hope to meet. i'm the one that has respect for neg's remember. i never said don't try the silly stuff. when one is under attack they'll try anything...even suicide. that's real funny too i guess!?! i was just offering highly experienced advice (to Silent Shadow by the way)...and i can't speak for anyone else, but nothing is powerful enough to make me "hate" anything.

333

when you run out of teddy bears, try playing brittany spears really loud. that should definitely drive them off.
LOL

i think that's the way things work around here if i'm not mistaken. you say something patronizing and than laugh...out loud.  
i think it's called passive-aggressive?!? is that correct nay?

lazy & perverted...something about the water in someone elses glass always tasting better. most people are psi-vamps to an extent, but they use they prefer to call it sex.

333

[personify]

whatever.

i refuse to make light of something i know very well is not light. and the idea of fighting the dark with light. best of luck. i'm not saying it can't be done, but most people that suffer attacks, or find themselves under surveillance, don't possess the abilities to defend themselves in the first place. this is my point and it's a very simple one.

and you speak of your head like it's some sacred ground. what thoughts in there are truly your own? tell me one that is originally yours. it might behoove you to visit your local mental hospital and take a good long look at all those strong minds. or would you make the mistake of saying that people who are mentally disturbed are weak? some of the most intelligent people in history had some for of "mental illness", although it's an incredibly bad choice of words.

Just because youre afraid of them dosnt mean im an idiot for not being afraid. They are somthing to laugh at. And no, they cant mess with everything I love becuase I would kill them.

i'm not afraid of them, not anymore, but i'm not disrespectful...and that's an agreement that works both ways. tell me...how would you go about killing a neg???

i'm not faulting anyone for how they deal with this situation, but i have hard time with humans always wanting to personify everything. these things aren't human, they aren't concerned with human rules, or ethics, or understanding, or how powerful "you think" you are. they have one objective...and i hope to god none of you ever have to experience what that is. like i said before....laugh (you're right it's healthy).

Alot of people in this community dont realize how much control they have/could have over their bodies and spirits.

isn't that basically the same thing i said (although i didn't leave out mind)

You dont just sit there and let them 'collect information' get rid of them.

they start collecting information long before they show themselves. there is so much that surrounds us that we aren't capable of seeing (yet/most of the time). don't think just becuz it's not visible...it's not there. we are only capable of seeing/sensing what's within our realm and it's a tiny fragment hardly worth mentioning.

when i said we all have to grow up sometime...i meant exactly that. not that anyone should lose their enthusiasm for life, become jaded and anal. i was talking about wisdom from experience. that can't be stopped.

none of this is worth arguing about. everyone has an opinion. i just had to make mine clear...again.

333

There appear to be quite a few misconceptions of psi vampires in which they appear to be viewed as some type of evil mutant energy sucking monsters draining all of those around them to satisfy their needs while offering nothing in return.

yeah that would pretty much sum it up!

That is not true at least not of all them for as it is with humans, and vampires, Psi Vamps have many diverse personalities.
There are good psi-vamps and there are evil people just like with any other society.

so who do you consider "evil"? you say that poor victimized vamps don't like being tagged as evil, and yet you turn around in use it reference to others. that's F/U.

Therefore in active feeding the individual who is initiating it has the choice to control what and just home much is being transferred.

BS!

Psi Vampires prefer feed within the Family because non Vampires tend to have less refined, stagnant energy due to poor maintenance.

to me that's just so pathetic...are vamps victims...or are they higher beings??? people have a natural, intuitive feeling about all this, and don't need to be told what's up. some are willing to feed your/their weakness, and some aren't. most aren't. that's only natural. all this is is propaganda and it's not good propaganda either. it's full of holes.

Psi vampires have a unique ability in manipulating energy and are capable of performing basic healing, energy attunements, removing energy blockages and can even form an energy ball.

unique? everyone is capable of that "work"...stop glorifying.

okay...i'm bashing a little, but i have information that most don't have in regards to vampires...and i can tell you that even blood-lusters consider psi-vamps to be a mutant, pathetic, un-ethical cult of parasites!!! i myself am not that hard on them, because i see most humans in the very same category. psi-vamps are nothing but wannabes. yes they can easily develop basic skills for sucking energy fields, but it usually stops there. there really is no structure or attainment in the whole thing. i ain't get into the information i have, but i will say that it poorly seen all round. no one see any benefits to it except other psi-vamps, and wannabe-wannabes!

'nough said
333

y'all have to be kidding! doesn't anyone have any actual experience with neg's? firstly they're not stupid, secondly they're not trying to figure out if you're scared of them or not...believe me if they wanted to... they could scare you to death! they could crawl inside your tiny little minds and tear their way out. they could f*ck with everything you love, every belief that you've tied yourself up in and bring you to your knees in a heartbeat.
throw stuff at them? laugh at them? discuss television shows? i can't even find a response to that. they're aren't attacking you YET, bcuz they aren't allowed to. they are simply collecting information, doing diagnostics & recon, but wait. go ahead and do all the things suggested...be silly about it. there really isn't anything you can do anyway. they've already got your number. they're calling from inside the house, and there isn't anyone that isn't "useful" to their agenda. they're just figuring out where you fit in. they have direct orders that they know better to stray from no matter how hard you taunt them. they'll wait until it's time and then you're posts will have a very different resonance.

nay made the point that i shouldn't be offering advice in the negative, but after looking at this thread again...i can't go that route. i can't believe the shallow, completely ignorant (as in no experience) responses tossed around. this will change you're life drastically, but we all need to grow up sometime. so have fun with it while you can.

amazing
333

i believe at the end of the dream i unlocked this lady as a hidden character

you'll freak me out if you don't remember saying that!?!
kidding...it's okay not to remember...it's there somewhere...believe me.

have you ever considered getting casey a friend?
make her special little fresh salads maybe...or build an outdoor aviary as a summer project?!? so she could be outside.

it's strange how someone always has a smarta$$ comment after my posts. i guess i'm hard to figure or take seriously?!?

thanks for the pic...very cute (both of you).
you both look more than a little "concerned" though, but i understand.
there's a lot to be concerned about.


love 333
   PS I AGREE...WINKS ARE VERY POWERFUL TOOLS!

The Parrot

The parrot is an alert bird with a good temperament.  They are very intelligent and have been taught to mimic humans. A bird which can speak the human language is considered to be a link between  mankind's world and the world of nature. They serve as a bridge in which both can cross to gain a deeper understanding about one another.  This understanding allows both  kingdoms to live in harmony.

One of the most outstanding features of the parrot is its range of coloring.   Parrots invoke a sense of  hope and promise.  Just looking at its brilliant feathers gives us a feeling of excitement and wonder.  For those who identify with this totem opportunities to renew their dreams and visions are offered.

Parrots teach us the power of magic.  Their feathers are used in healing rituals to invoke the properties of color and light.  Color and light therapy have been used by many native tribes to heal the sick or injured.  For those with this totem the study of its colors will reveal a lot about yourself.

Parrots can be very vocal or very quiet depending upon the situation they are in.  In humans this indicates an innate ability to know when to voice ones opinion and when to be silent.  Lessons associated with discernment are always present in a parrot medicine person. The parrot is a feel good bird and is a great ally in healing depression.  When the parrot flies into your life it is asking you to recapture the magic of living.  It is time to enjoy your life and all it holds.

from animal totems & spirit guides http://www.sayahda.com/cyc3.html

[it's exactly the opposite of what he needs.]

morning sweet cheeks,
where was i? oh yeah...trying to make you feel better. i don't know what's going on...but i know something is shifting. it's very, very subtle, but i sense it's going to be strong. as far as aliens are concerned...talk of it is usually contained in some tiny corner, as a place for "toshing" (as adrain would say) weirdos to connect. it's actually something that is being embraced more by the mainstream, then it is by alternative thinkers. somewhere in between i think there's a handful of very insightful people that are connecting a lot of things and coming up with some interesting stuff. i almost feel like science is losing ground/respect, along with religion. i can see in the future that the "firmer" things won't need to exist. if we're able to shift our consciousness into a place where we can heal and be one with god naturally, and understand more than we've ever imagined. we won't need all the things that i personally see as pretty much useless anyway. we won't need cars when we can transport ourselves, we won't need f*cking mc donalds when we can manifest manna, or fishes & loaves...no weapons, no wars, no poverty, no banks, no hospitals, no movie stars, etc. it's something i'd very much be into...cleaning up this place up! i can't speak for others...so many seem so dependent. i can't see where they'd appreciate it?!?

i also find myself stuck, and maybe thats what i'm looking forward to getting out of. i don't want to deal with my life the way its set up, and at the same time...i feel that i can't be "waiting" on everything to change. like the parrot...there's some great beak that stands in the way of most everything i want to do. i have so many great ideas, so much vision, but i hate the bureaucracy and the bullsh*t...i hate having to expend so much energy on all the doubtful people and their regulations, and everyone that wants a piece of it all. "the middle men". i know it's not easy being young in this world. with all the f*cking information flying around...there still isn't much in the way of sound/logical advice. being older i feel like i've wasted so much time in being resistant, but i was born that way (really). i have no idea what i'm rebelling against...but it's too strong to ignore.

you know that ever persistent question: "am i an alien in a strange world, or am i surrounded by aliens?" i can't say. i love this world, this earth. i even love the people and all their f*cked up habits, and the mess...like some incredible work of art...some intense collage that can't be figured out...but a lot of time in the back of my mind i wish it would all go away. so i could have some space to create something of my own.

so back to the aliens. yes...i believe they infiltrate! and its something that weirds me out. i don't feel that it has to be an actual incarnate type thing. i think it's more "long distance control". that can be switched on and off. my step-mother for instance. i honestly believe without a shadow of a doubt that she is manipulated to do nothing but manipulate. my father is a highly creative spirit. very alternative by design, and a freedom seeker. i didn't see much of him after i was nine and my parents split up, but he passed on his love for nature, his respect for native americans, his talents, his passion for being self-sufficient and living off grid, etc. now he is the most annal, self-absorbed, and fearful individual i know, and stuck in believing he is very much right about EVERYTHING...and i very much hold my step-mother responsible! she has done everything in her power to cancel out what is natural in him and replace it with some phobia. everything to him is about money...and my sister and i are nowhere on his list of priorities...he's told me as much. of course i'm a big girl now, and he can't for the life of him understand why i would "need" any association with him. he likes to use some adage about "birds being kicked out the nest when they're a few weeks old", and then they're on their own. anyway... obviously i have issues in this area...but it's this weird domino effect of "suppression". his wife keeps a heavy boot on him, and an insanely short leash. (they have no friends, no connect with "his" side of the family, no ambitions except money...and he works round the clock, while she vacuums). it's exactly the opposite of what he needs. he needs an exotic woman that's full of life and spirit that will inspire him to do great art. at the same time he keeps a boot on me and my sister...actually "repelling" us from his life. the more we want to know him...the more he withdraws. (instead of thinking that it's just normal interaction...he thinks we have some manipulating secret agenda). he totally functions to the "opposite" of what we need. i also have a best friend who at times i swear is part of this same conspiracy...and this is in relation to the friend you mentioned. when i first started hanging around with her (over ten yrs ago) people i hardly even knew went out of their way to tell me i shouldn't be hanging around with her, she was bad news, etc. i couldn't see where anyone was that powerful or detrimental...and i joked about with her. i can look at all the things she does, and write them off pretty easily to us being opposite in mentality. we are very much "night & day" and there is a balance to that. we compliment each other by filling in the voids, but...at the same time if i stand back a little, out of the corner of my eye...there is something very odd about it all. and hte shoe fits both of us. where i think that she is completely manipulating my life. she thinks the same about me!?! it might not be something you can talk about with your friend, but it's completely possible that he's just as suspicious of you. and that's where some little bell goes off for me. what is REALLY going on here? it's like software conflicts...there's all these programs that are suppose to help make things easier, but NONE OF THEM WORK TOGETHER!  and it can seem huge and overwhelming, or it can be totally stupid-ly funny. bcuz in the end...my dad isn't being controlled unless some part of him agrees with it (BECAUSE IT'S EASIER), and i'm not controlling my friend...i'm just going through the motions day by day, as she is...and the GLITCH is bcuz we both allow each other to enable each others weaknesses (although it's hard to get her to admit she has any)...and with all relationships we seek out...there is some great string attached. and whether it's aliens behind it all, or some twisted  program...i have no idea. i can see where it might be a program. that would seem the easiest. we are highly predictable animals and yes i believe we are trapped here, and that everything is being done to keep us from waking up. something to do with a "slave" mentality, but i'll have to think more about that. there has to be a way to circumvent the programming, but whether life would be easier if we were "awake" is hard to say.

i had a dream last night that i was faux finishing the new atlanta white house. it was strange bcuz it was george w & hillary!?! she was looking at my portfolio and asking me why i wasn't more famous/that she'd never heard of me...and i tried to explain to her how much i hate the system, but i couldn't find the right words. all i could say is that i was one of those "old world" artists...that doesn't fit in.

also back to the sex thing. did you know that your energy field can be "contaminated" for up to three weeks from the person you had sex with?
i always felt drained and depressed after sex...like i was doing something wrong (not wrong as in technique or style/not wrong as in sinful). i don't know what it was...just wrong...as in giving myself to the wrong people?!?
feeding others that couldn't give back. i don't think you should feel guilty about your "feelings" bcuz they trying to tell you something. you need to listen. it goes back (i think) to that "other" feeling you/I have with our friends. depending on other peoples moods i tend to work my schedule, feelings, etc. i always had a great lust for sex...and was VERY easily seduced bcuz of that...but i never felt "fulfilled" by it ever. so what i had a desire for i was never getting, which kept the need strong and sorta translated to perverted i guess?!? never once did i walk away feeling like it was a good thing. i never did find a compatible partner/s that could satisfy my needs. maybe i couldn't find anyone i trusted enough to let go and get myself off or i put their needs so far ahead of mine, that i never got around to getting off?!? (i don't know if men have that problem. i don't see why they wouldn't)...i think underneath all this talk...there is the same issue posing itself again and again in different forms. (the friends, the family, the bird, the system, the sex)...is it not being able to trust? is it a lack of faith? is it a disconnection from our power? our higher selves? i have no idea.  i think it's KEY, and if we can figure it out/find it...it will open many doors!

it's right in front of us...i can feel that! so many things waiting to click.
TIME TO ENGAGE, but my spirit feels tired, and my head heavy, and my sight dim

I KNOW I WROTE A LOT...AND I'D APOLOGIZE, BUT WE AREN'T ALLOWED TO DO THAT ANYMORE.  I WANT YOU TO FEEL FREE TO WRITE AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE IN MY LOG...OR PM ME IF IT FEELS TOO PERSONAL TO SHARE WITH ANYONE THAT MIGHT PASS BY.

I'VE GOT YOUR BACK.
333
take it easy all around
and i'll be looking for you in the astral.

i've missed you darlin'. i thought maybe i'd done something to offend you, or i was boring you maybe?!? some pair we make (sorry's back and forth). NO MORE SORRY's between U&I...okay?!? i know what you mean about sex. i'm eating a piece of italian cream cake...subtly sweet, creamy, cool on my tongue...but something about that kind of immediate gratification kinda makes me sick to stomach. so i never fully enjoy it. the weight of the world is heavy on my heart/mind...somewhere children are dying from lack of clean water, and food...and i'm a sick, twisted, perverted, self-indulgent pig...posting bullsh*t on a forum full of other (see above) freaks that all want to impress their enlightenment on one another. Am I close?
Oh what a tangled web we weave...
when first we practice to deceive (ourselves)!

i like the bird. she likes you. we all like each other. don't be afraid of her. it hurts her feelings. she can't do anything about the "beak" and you'll have to get over it, as a demonstration of your loyalty...my sweet Jedi...the beak doesn't exist...just your fear of it. i'm not saying that you won't get bit. she is most definitely absorbing your fear...animals do that (absorb the negative) to help you relax and get past it. if you don't than you're forcing both of you to deal with it...when you could both be loving to one another. depending on her size...the worst she could is break your finger. i think it still be worthwhile. i guarantee you if she got hold of you once...she'd never do it again. out of sorrow. i've been through that with dogs before, and the best thing i found to do was sit in their vicinity with my back to them...and let them come up on their own accord/on their own terms. let them make the first move. you have to let go of your expectations with her first. and that's a big lesson in itself.

i'm sorry you aren't fairing well. remember there's a wave pattern to it all. and IT WILL shift back in your favor. you just have to roll with everything till then. it's going to be like this always...up and down. i heard a word yesterday and i can't even remember where. a commercial maybe (something meaningless like that)...the word was "engage". it's been on my mind since. it's a powerful word. as long as your engaged in something your mind will be clearer, things will be less drastic. the waters less turbulent...there's so much one doesn't notice when they're busy.

i dream gaming type stuff as well, but i also dream in color, b&w, cartoon (that's weird), sometimes in 2D. the worst thing is playing some stupid game all night and then going to bed and i keep playing it in my mind till i wake up. the worst lately was "runescape", but the sims too when i first got it and played all the time. it was crazy. strange thing i love the myst series and would have loved to dream about those places, but never did. the last few weeks i haven't been able to remember much...really strange. i feel that it's intentional. almost like some very important information is being transmitted now, and something/someone doesn't want me to get a handle on it. i trust it is still there in my subconscious, and will come round when needed. you rescued a woman last night from the astral...that's something special!

eww...i'm tired! really tired. REALLY.

i know you will forgive me if i hit the sack, and continue this in the morning. my mind is too fuzzy to continue, and i don't want to write just for the sake of writing. i want to say something useful.

so sweetdreams my gypsy. maybe i'll seek you out this evening if the fates allow.
333
ps...you're welcome to my shelves anytime you wish

1) 1.4 inches
2) C/Pontiac GTO
3) A ford F150 Standard V-8 rad holds 25.5 quarts (@ 4 qrts/gallon)  
   you'd need aprox. 3.333333333, but i prefer using old water heaters.    
   for both biodiesel & moon shine production.
4) Seeing as Woodcutters are only available on weekends, and it would    
   take at least four weekends for a very determined cutter.
   Anywhere from 180-360 depending.
5) What's an Ozone? Is that one of those air purifyer thangs?
6) None. During the day they ride around with me in the truck, and at
   night they're all in bed.
7) Dang straight! I know a feller in Possum's Holler with 1 acre, ten kids,  
   and pool!
Depends if it's a tourist area or not?!?
9) None! We don't support no terrorists! (120 x 2.3) 276 packs of Dorals.
   (Always smoke more on 3rd shift)
10) What's the elevation???

333

you can start another "drug" thread, but you still aren't going to get the information you want. a lot of purists in these parts.

so save yourself the time and head to the "acid vault"
http://www.erowid.org/chemicals/lsd/lsd.shtml

but if you have some bizarro experiences, make sure you post 'em here
333

AAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhh-ahah...hmm!
That's funny. I didn't even notice that.
hmmhmm..hhm. ahh...oh boy.  Typical.


333

Surprised no one has mentioned the "Blue Apples"!?!

If you're interested in this subject, the emerald tablet, alchemy, etc. I think you might find this site very satisfying.

http://site.williamhenry.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=blogsection&id=6&Itemid=30