Hey all.. I've been looking over this site and a few other astral type forums. Just because I like the idea of it and I KNOW it's possible and our brains are very capable of doing amazing things.
Why am I frustrated you say? because.... I can't really explain it. Basically, I cant project myself or visualize properly but somehow I feel I've done it before. The thing is I have these INSANE dreams where I cant even question if it is real or not, because it is simply real - at the time. I sadly cant control when they happen...
They happen a lot more frequently when I'm under emotional strain - where as my emotions are higher than normal. Be it stress, happyness, love, fear. Which emotion it is will also determine how the dream plays out. When I'm under a lot of stress/scared I will have a pretty creepy dream - Once I was in a forested area, more jungle than forest.. but not as dense. There was concrete stone slab about 20ft long and 15ft wide. It wasn't perfectly straight.. it was kind of sloping down. Behind that was two buildings. Simple buildings, no windows from where I was looking (back of the buildings) and both of these buildings had those metal stairs leading up to the window door. .... anyway.. that was one scary dream... I woke up later with fear covering my body.
Now, this was a visual dream, in some ways, one of the least intense dreams. I also have emotion based dreams. These dreams are a lot worse and are almost always fear based. There may be some slight visuals during them, but not much detail. In the emotion based dreams, I only get the raw emotions of what is going on. For example, you know that cold, agonising heart piercing scream that makes you stop what you're doing and you get the feeling of deadness in your heart? Remove the screen and any visuals you may have and just hold that raw emotion. The dream is full of raw emotions... it normally isn't fun at all and involves some scary excrement.. when I wake up I'll be messed up for the entire day - not thinking straight etc. For example, if someone had died in one of those dreams, (the raw emotion of someone dying, not watching them die) then I would wake up with that raw emotion still in me. That's even worse than having visuals, because you don't know what the hell happened because you have nothing to refer this feeling to - you just know someone/something died.
Oh... talked a bit too much... lol. I'll get to the point now shall I?
When I try and astral project, I just cant get the visuals.. How can I have these ridiculously realistic dreams in full colour... and not visualize anything but a damn black screen!? ARGH...
Let me show you what I see when I close my eyes and try to visualize something:
http://images.blogskins.com/skin_images/209/853/images/Black-Static.gif
Pretty similar to that actually... but there is a VERY slight tint of dark red/navy around the static.
And heres my visualisation in a dream: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_bC1bdoMoYio/SwQ2Il32DSI/AAAAAAAAARA/9ZZos0Tr3xU/s1600/Forest.jpg
The white mist would be black and I would pay no attention to it in my dream, only what surrounds me. That is why it feels so real.
SO WHY!? why cant I create a clear image on my black screen >_<! Maybe I'm confusing myself.. well, I'm definitely confused. I'm meant to close my eyes... -closes eyes- now I see a black screen like I showed you above... am I meant to create a colour image on this? where are my paints? I cant even create a single colour! Maybe I'm trying to visualize wrong... how do I visualize.. with my brain?
? my memory? ARGH..
I tried to move out of my body last night.. I spent about 30 minutes just doing 4/3 breathing.. and then did the tense one muscle, breathe out and switch it off. Although I can't even get a picture of my foot in my mind, let a lone my foot with a switch built into it... anyway I did that for all my body parts and was following this guide meticulously. I was told to imagine my feet/hands moving forward a couple of inches. This is where it got frustrating... I know what is supposed to happen, I know when you've got it right - even though I haven't done it before. It's like I've done it without knowing in a dream possibly. So I'm trying to get the feeling of my fingers edging forwards without actually moving them.. but I just cant. I ended up realising it was because I still had awareness of the body parts, I could still feel the duvet, which in turn was holding me back, anchoring me. I then spent a good while just trying to tell my self, deep in my mind, that my hands were not mine - lol. Trying to forget about my hands. I kind of lost awareness slightly. I know I got it right every so often, because it felt like my hands were.. not NOT there... (double neg) but that they were .. not attached to anything. As if my hands were just there. Not floating or resting on any object - they were just. Hard to explain .. I only got that intense feeling every so often and 9/10 it was me ever so slightly lifting my fingers off the bed without knowing lol! but I did do it with my hands on the bed because I remember thinking "holy crap my fingers are pointing upwards" and trying to pull them down and realising my hand was already on the bed.. that was definitely weird. I know when I was in the right mindset because my mind was entirely clear - I wasn't even visualizing anything. Pure black. Not the static-filled black canvas I normally have when I close my eyes (the black image above), it was much denser, with only a couple of blotches of static every so often. There would also be waves/impulses of even darker black coming over the canvas... only way I can explain it!
Anyway, I tried to lift out of my body/roll off my bed without actually jumping onto the floor. Didn't work. I tried to use the same principal I had gained from the hand floating(but not floating in thin air.. just .. there - hard to explain!!!) I couldn't do it. I couldn't get the same feeling as I did with my hand. I couldn't go that far. I could only make my hand lose feeling - I dont think I could move it about. Or maybe I was.. maybe that feeling was my mind moving my hand up. ARGH... >_<
Erm... long post.. with no real point... I think I've managed to confuse myself even more... I just needed to write this down - get it off my chest. Maybe someone can relate and give me some guidance.. -sigh-
Why am I frustrated you say? because.... I can't really explain it. Basically, I cant project myself or visualize properly but somehow I feel I've done it before. The thing is I have these INSANE dreams where I cant even question if it is real or not, because it is simply real - at the time. I sadly cant control when they happen...
They happen a lot more frequently when I'm under emotional strain - where as my emotions are higher than normal. Be it stress, happyness, love, fear. Which emotion it is will also determine how the dream plays out. When I'm under a lot of stress/scared I will have a pretty creepy dream - Once I was in a forested area, more jungle than forest.. but not as dense. There was concrete stone slab about 20ft long and 15ft wide. It wasn't perfectly straight.. it was kind of sloping down. Behind that was two buildings. Simple buildings, no windows from where I was looking (back of the buildings) and both of these buildings had those metal stairs leading up to the window door. .... anyway.. that was one scary dream... I woke up later with fear covering my body.
Now, this was a visual dream, in some ways, one of the least intense dreams. I also have emotion based dreams. These dreams are a lot worse and are almost always fear based. There may be some slight visuals during them, but not much detail. In the emotion based dreams, I only get the raw emotions of what is going on. For example, you know that cold, agonising heart piercing scream that makes you stop what you're doing and you get the feeling of deadness in your heart? Remove the screen and any visuals you may have and just hold that raw emotion. The dream is full of raw emotions... it normally isn't fun at all and involves some scary excrement.. when I wake up I'll be messed up for the entire day - not thinking straight etc. For example, if someone had died in one of those dreams, (the raw emotion of someone dying, not watching them die) then I would wake up with that raw emotion still in me. That's even worse than having visuals, because you don't know what the hell happened because you have nothing to refer this feeling to - you just know someone/something died.
Oh... talked a bit too much... lol. I'll get to the point now shall I?
When I try and astral project, I just cant get the visuals.. How can I have these ridiculously realistic dreams in full colour... and not visualize anything but a damn black screen!? ARGH...
Let me show you what I see when I close my eyes and try to visualize something:
http://images.blogskins.com/skin_images/209/853/images/Black-Static.gif
Pretty similar to that actually... but there is a VERY slight tint of dark red/navy around the static.
And heres my visualisation in a dream: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_bC1bdoMoYio/SwQ2Il32DSI/AAAAAAAAARA/9ZZos0Tr3xU/s1600/Forest.jpg
The white mist would be black and I would pay no attention to it in my dream, only what surrounds me. That is why it feels so real.
SO WHY!? why cant I create a clear image on my black screen >_<! Maybe I'm confusing myself.. well, I'm definitely confused. I'm meant to close my eyes... -closes eyes- now I see a black screen like I showed you above... am I meant to create a colour image on this? where are my paints? I cant even create a single colour! Maybe I'm trying to visualize wrong... how do I visualize.. with my brain?
? my memory? ARGH..I tried to move out of my body last night.. I spent about 30 minutes just doing 4/3 breathing.. and then did the tense one muscle, breathe out and switch it off. Although I can't even get a picture of my foot in my mind, let a lone my foot with a switch built into it... anyway I did that for all my body parts and was following this guide meticulously. I was told to imagine my feet/hands moving forward a couple of inches. This is where it got frustrating... I know what is supposed to happen, I know when you've got it right - even though I haven't done it before. It's like I've done it without knowing in a dream possibly. So I'm trying to get the feeling of my fingers edging forwards without actually moving them.. but I just cant. I ended up realising it was because I still had awareness of the body parts, I could still feel the duvet, which in turn was holding me back, anchoring me. I then spent a good while just trying to tell my self, deep in my mind, that my hands were not mine - lol. Trying to forget about my hands. I kind of lost awareness slightly. I know I got it right every so often, because it felt like my hands were.. not NOT there... (double neg) but that they were .. not attached to anything. As if my hands were just there. Not floating or resting on any object - they were just. Hard to explain .. I only got that intense feeling every so often and 9/10 it was me ever so slightly lifting my fingers off the bed without knowing lol! but I did do it with my hands on the bed because I remember thinking "holy crap my fingers are pointing upwards" and trying to pull them down and realising my hand was already on the bed.. that was definitely weird. I know when I was in the right mindset because my mind was entirely clear - I wasn't even visualizing anything. Pure black. Not the static-filled black canvas I normally have when I close my eyes (the black image above), it was much denser, with only a couple of blotches of static every so often. There would also be waves/impulses of even darker black coming over the canvas... only way I can explain it!
Anyway, I tried to lift out of my body/roll off my bed without actually jumping onto the floor. Didn't work. I tried to use the same principal I had gained from the hand floating(but not floating in thin air.. just .. there - hard to explain!!!) I couldn't do it. I couldn't get the same feeling as I did with my hand. I couldn't go that far. I could only make my hand lose feeling - I dont think I could move it about. Or maybe I was.. maybe that feeling was my mind moving my hand up. ARGH... >_<
Erm... long post.. with no real point... I think I've managed to confuse myself even more... I just needed to write this down - get it off my chest. Maybe someone can relate and give me some guidance.. -sigh-